Ayako

Rin is freaking out. I don't know enough about any of this to determine just how messed up it is, but I can spot a Tohsaka Breakdown, and if it's bad enough to cause one then this is pretty messed up. I hear a crash from her room, the faintest hint of a scream muffled by a pillow, and then–

"Oh, hello Mitsuzuri! I expected you to be waiting in the dojo."

Tohsaka emerges from the cocoon of Emiya's guest room, once more wrapped in her facade of elegance and propriety. This girl can't be honest about her feelings to save her life, but she's also a terrible liar, and I can see a slight red tinge creep across her face as she realizes what I might have heard. She brushes past me quickly and gestures for me to follow. I want to press her on it but I'll wait. She asked for time to 'prepare notes', but that's definitely not all she was doing.

As we walk, I can't help but stare at the girl– no, the woman in front of me. Her dark hair tumbles down her back like twin waterfalls, her posture perfect, her skirt bouncing just enough to provide a brief flash of pale flesh above her black socks… and the outline it cascades over… I quickly tear my gaze to the sky before I'm caught. I flush red as I admire the fields of rolling clouds, illuminated by the just-rising sun. I sigh softly, and hear Tohsaka sliding the door open.

"Ayako." Tohsaka speaks sternly, but her voice is tinged with concern and just a hint of sadness. "There's no turning back from this." I see pain in her eyes. Loss. "You don't have to… What the other Emiya said, about using you… I wouldn't…" Seeing Tohsaka's confidence break, shakes me. For the second time in a day, I feel panic wash over me. I've thought so much about myself seeing death, but I never even paused to consider…

I reach out decisively, and return Tohsaka's embrace from earlier. "I know you've seen me die once, but I promise I won't be doing it again soon. And I won't let you do it either. Understood?" I can hear her just beginning to sob, I feel her breathing against my neck, her hands clasped around my lower back. I've never been this close to her before, so close I can smell the coconut oil in her hair, the meal from earlier on her breath, the faintest hint of perfume she hasn't reapplied in a day… She's only three centimeters shorter than me, but she feels so small in my arms. This is my closest friend, my oldest friend, my best friend. A large part of her 'normal' memories are with me, and she's now lost that. I hold her even tighter for a moment, and then finally let her pull away.

"I'll hold you to that, Mitsuzuri. Do you understand? I'll have you pay me back ten times over if you break that promise." Her face is stern, her mask donned again, the only indication that she may have lost her composure previously is the slight glint of a tear in her eye. She's pushing herself.

I smile and nod, keeping things light for her, and step back into the dojo we'd left only half an hour ago. The mat flooring still has cuts from my breakdown, lines I had compulsively traced as I tried to claw my way back. I shudder. She gestures for me to sit, and I do so, kneeling with my hands in my lap.

"Before we can do anything, we'll have to activate your magic circuits. Essentially we'll be flooding your system with mana, opening dormant pathways. It's going to hurt." I grit my teeth and nod again, and I feel her place a hand on my upper back. "You'll need to determine a trigger as well. Visualize something that triggers your adrenaline." That part is almost too easy, the choice glaringly obvious. I close my eyes and see the serpentine woman's fangs burrowing into my neck. Tohsaka's timing is perfect, and as I feel a cold shudder and a burst of adrenaline flood my system, it comes with a searing flood of electricity, tearing its way through my nervous system, forming lichtenberg artwork inside my body. I focus on this feeling, trying to mentally map this new set of pathways inside me. Rivers flow and split as they move from my head to my fingertips, down my legs, and.. Yeah, it fucking hurts. She keeps going, pushing further and further, finding every painful nerve ending in this new system. It feels like it won't ever end, but finally it does. I'm soaked in a cold sweat, heart beating out of my chest, numb everywhere except the spot on my back where Tohsaka's hand sits. I catch my breath finally, and stand up.

"I need a break, can we take a walk, Tohsaka?" I have a feeling I'll be at the Emiya residence a while, so I'd at least like a piece of home with me. A stuffed animal, my Gameboy, anything familiar to keep me tied to the real world.

It's a cold morning, especially with my shirt still soaked with sweat. Mercifully, Tohsaka has a spare winter coat. I've seen her caught off guard too many times in the last day, seeing my usual Girl Scout Tohsaka prepared for anything is an unexpected comfort. I chuckle as I notice she's even brought an weather is more likely to be another snow, but I wouldn't want to make this walk in the rain. My house is about 20 minutes away, but it feels much longer going uphill. Minori has no idea where I've been, but I doubt he's made a fuss. Parents are away for a week or so, and he's probably figured out his own use of that time. Best not to bother him too much, otherwise he may actually worry..

I sneak in the front door quickly, promising Tohsaka I'll return shortly. I get the sense she'd insist on accompanying anyone else. I grab my Gameboy, rummage around for the charger, pause briefly to pick a stuffed animal. I pick two, one gifted from Tohsaka at a festival in middle school, and one I'd gotten the year before that from my brother. I throw my toothbrush and some other essentials in a bag, and then head out.

"Minori, I'll be staying over with Tohsaka for a few nights, behave yours—" I cut my shouting short as I round the corner to the entryway and see him. I was staying strong to this point, but… If this is the last time I see my brother, I should at least say a proper goodbye. I hug him tight, tearing up a little. "Take care while I'm gone, okay little brother?"

"What the hell, dweeb? Yeah, whatever, I won't burn the place down or anything. Save the lovey dovey shit for your girlfriend Tohsaka." I flush bright red and give him a playful shove. He acts like your typical teenage boy, but he really cares deep down.

"Yeah, whatever Minori. You joke but really that just means even your big sister has better luck with girls than you!" I head for the door, and can't help being emotional just a bit more as I go. "Love you, dumbass." I walk out, and finally know what my wish on the Grail thingy would be.

"Oh, there's my friend, we really should be going, Father Kotomine." I hear Tohsaka tersely speak before laughing nervously and practically dragging me by the wrist. She's speaking with a plain but somehow imposing man, brown hair and brown eyes, one arm in a sling, and dressed exactly as you'd expect of a man being addressed with the title 'Father'. Manners would dictate that I introduce myself, but clearly Tohsaka intends otherwise. Thinking quickly, I start following and chime in.

"Oh that's right, Emiya-kun insisted we be back in time for dinner, I nearly forgot!" The priest's eyes flash at the name, and it seems to have a completely unintended effect. He starts walking alongside us as close to excitedly as I could imagine of such a man. Clearly they're acquainted.

"Emiya? Would this friend be of any relation to Kiritsugu Emiya?" He says the name with no urgency, no underlying emotion, and yet hearing it slip from his tongue chills my spine. Tohsaka, however, stops. Her face clouds with a storm of emotions.

"How did you know Kiritsugu?" Tohsaka asks delicately, clearly holding herself back.

"He's an old friend. Actually, I have something I've been meaning to return to him since the last time we saw each other. His wife dropped it and I'm sure he'd like it back." He reaches his good hand into his robes and procures a photograph, handing it to me. A black-haired man in a suit, giving a piggyback ride to a small girl in a purple dress, with hair as white as the snow covering the forest behind them. I'd think this was Emiya's adoptive father, but.. Emiya doesn't have a sister, to my knowledge. I'll have to ask him about it.

"Kiritsugu passed away some time ago, but I'll make sure his son gets it. Farewell Father Kotomine." Rin replies courteously, and continues walking briskly. After putting some distance between us, she mutters under her breath. "Creepy bastard…"

"Tohsaka, I didn't know you were religious. How long have you—"

"I'm not, and neither is he. Stay away from that man, Ayako." Clearly it's a sore subject, so I nod and keep walking.