II. The Insanity Of Inafutation (Or How Andromeda Should've Known Better)
Dear diary,
Today, I was desperate enough to snog Lucius Malfoy. It happened by the great lake, behind that huge tree no one ever pays attention to. Oh, had Bellatrix or Narcissa seen us, Lucius and I would both have been hexed to death by now. I can only imagine the scolding I'd get for doing something so disgraceful, snogging Malfoy... Not only is he the biggest ponce in town, but I'm pretty sure he used to fancy Bellatrix, as if all of this weren't disturbing enough...
Love, Andromeda
The day Andromeda Black turns sixteen, she also comes to the realization that she completely lacks common sense.
She doesn't notice it herself, despite the fact she's always considered herself to have a certain level self-awareness that the other members of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black have seemed to lack for generations, if her mother and her aunt Walburga are anything to go by.
The date is September 26th, and she's in Potions class, brewing the day's elixir. It's Amortentia, the most powerful love draught there is, and, after adding the last ingredient to her cauldron, an Ashwinder Egg, she stirs it twelve times counterclockwise.
But, as she grabs her wand to cast the last spell needed for her potion, to work, she glances at her wrist and notices how the ring she was gifted on her fifteenth birthday is missing from her finger.
It's a silver ring, encrusted with emeralds, a Black family heirloom in all its beauty, and the mere thought of losing it is enough to send her into hysterics.
She quickly mutters the incantation, watching as her once lilac potion slowly turns to a mother-of-pearl sheen, as the scent of new books fills her nostrils.
She then does the first thing she can think of, despite being the least spontaneous sister, and decides to plunge her hand into the potion to try and find her ring. And if her hand dissolves in the potion, well, good for her. At least she can lie and say the ring dissolved as well.
"Andy, what in the world are you doing?" Pandora asks as she sees her partner with her arm elbow-deep into the cauldron.
"Shh, just make sure Slughorn doesn't see me, okay?" She hisses at her friend, still trying to find her ring.
Pandora distracts Slughorn with an inane question about Dragon Blood ("Sir, how come dragons also have blood?"), and while she's now sure Slughorn thinks she lacks brain cells, she reassures herself by thinking Andromeda's explanation will be worth it- except, after this entire ordeal, Andromeda pretends like nothing happened, and refuses to even acknowledge the fact that her arm is drenched in potion.
Once they're out of class, Pandora finally decides to confront her.
"So…" She starts, once they're on their way back to the Slytherin common room.
"So what?" Andromeda innocently asks.
"Oh, are you not gonna tell me why you shoved your entire arm into a cauldron and had me lie to Slughorn so you could keep acting like a fool in the middle of potions class?" Pandora stops in the middle of the corridor, expecting Andromeda to as well. Andromeda doesn't.
"Well, that's too bad, I think Bellatrix is calling me- see you later!" She says, before essentially running away.
"You did what?" Narcissa later hisses at her when she tells her what she did, "Thank Merlin you found that ring, or mother would have been mad."
Andromeda scoffs, "Mad is an understatement. She probably would have hexed me to death or something. Don't let Bella know about this or she'll probably scold me."
"Tell Bella what?" Bellatrix says, strolling her sister's dorm, holding her bat in one hand and her robe in another. Andromeda sent Narcissa a look, trying to convey how much she wanted her to keep quiet. Narcissa looked at her sister apologetically, and Andromeda sighed, facepalming herself.
"Andy almost lost mother's heirloom ring in her Amortentia potion," Narcissa immediately blurts out.
"Cissa, what the fuck?" Andromeda exclaims, "You were supposed to keep quiet about it!"
"Sorry," Narcissa apologized, shrugging her shoulders, "You know I can't keep anything from Bella."
Dear diary,
My little sister is a traitor.
Love, Andromeda
From that point on, Andromeda decides not to tell too much about her private life to Narcissa- if she's only going to tell Bellatrix- who might or might not decide to tell her mother, depending on what her roulette wheel of a moral compass tells her to do, there is no point in doing so. Some things can stay between Pandora and her.
She doesn't like Malfoy that much- if anything, it might be the opposite. He's always had a thing for his older sister anyways, but she needs the attention more than anything: her family has never given any, and there are only so many things she can do by herself. Bellatrix has hexed him so many times that he was scared of Andromeda when she first arrived at Hogwarts, scared he might suffer the same fate at her hands. Luckily for him, Andromeda and Bellatrix are essentially polar opposites. Andromeda barely believes in revenge to begin with, while Bellatrix is ruthless and doesn't care how many lives she wrecks as long as she gets her way- Andromeda admits she's always been quite admirative- but mostly- scared of her sister for that, not that she'd ever admit it out loud: what Bellatrix doesn't know can't possibly hurt her, and Bellatrix already knows enough embarrassing things about her younger sisters as it is. She doesn't need the knowledge that Andromeda is scared shitless of her to make it worse.
So no, she doesn't like Lucius Malfoy- at least, not like that- she even scrunches up her nose at the thought of it, her stomach clenching as she felt a wave of nausea overtake her at the thought of it. She'd never go for a guy who is into her sister anyways, because as she'd learned, those were most likely to be masochists, and she definitely doesn't need that kind of drama in her life.
However, one day, she bumps into Lucius and subsequently drops her books on the way to potions class- he helps her pick them up, and as she looks into his icy blue eyes, she feels something- she's not quite sure what, but it's enough to send shivers down her spine. She replays the scene in her mind during the class, nearly completely messing up the Felix Felicis she's brewing.
"Talk about luck," she says, after Slughorn scolds her for not juicing the squill bulb the right way.
After class, she rushes to her room and immediately pulls out her diary.
Dear diary,
Is it me or is Lucius Malfoy kind of cute? Don't tell Bella I said that though, or she'll probably murder me- or him- or maybe both of us- probably both of us.
What am I even thinking? It's Lucius Malfoy we're talking about- I've never met a more pretentious arsehole in my entire time on this earth. God, I need help.
Love, Andromeda
She curses herself for even thinking about it, but still can't shake the thoughts out of her mind.
So, she does the next best thing- she starts learning his schedule so she can bump into him more often. It's a little creepy, borderline stalkerish and she's never felt more ashamed than she did when she started following him, but if Bellatrix got to live her big romance with Rita Skeeter, she deserves one too. She and Pandora may not have worked out, but if there's something she knows, it's that she shouldn't give up so easily.
She feels satisfied whenever he sends a look her way- and she'll admit she feels her heart rate pick up whenever he smiles at her. They exchange a few niceties, but nothing more. She feels herself blushing every time someone mentions him, and she's almost glad she hasn't lost the ability to love.
They kiss a few times.
She's not sure how it happens- one day, after class, Lucius tells her he wants to see her. They have a walk, by the lake, and decide to sit down next to a tree. They discuss everything and nothing, and for once, he doesn't seem so bad, although a little self-centered - she wonders if that's the reason why Bellatrix hexed him so often in the past. She's looking at him, and suddenly he's leaning in- she's never kissed a boy before, but she'll gladly take it. Pandora had much softer lips, she thinks, but she doesn't mind the additional roughness.
She's not sure what they are after that, but she decides not to overthink it. They'll cross that bridge when they get to it.
That same evening, Narcissa barges into her dorm room, not bothering to knock as she runs to her sister. She's breathless, as if she'd been running, and she stops at Andromeda's bed. Andromeda looks up from her book, raising an eyebrow.
"You kissed Malfoy?" She asks, her eyes wide and her eyebrows furrowed into a frown, "Andy, of all the people on earth, you had to go and kiss him? You'd be better off making out with one of the toads that live in the great lake."
"How do you know that?" She answers with a question, intrigued. How had she known? She hadn't told anyone, not even Pandora.
"Malfoy has been going around telling everyone he snogged you," Narcissa starts, "He was being quite graphic about it, and it was honestly quite disgusting to hear. I genuinely hope I can erase all of this from my mind one day," she makes a face.
"Huh? W-what?" Andromeda splutters in disbelief, setting the book down and sitting up on her bed.
"Yeah," Narcissa replies, sending a glare toward her sister, "You might want to put a muzzle on your boyfriend, because he's apparently a bloody dog," she says, turning on her heel and storming out of the room.
Dear diary,
Lucius Malfoy is a fucking asshole. I honestly ought to murder his bloody arse solely for existing- although Cissa and Bella might actually take care of that for me.
Love, Andromeda
The next day, she learns Lucius woke up with a head full of blue hair. Narcissa doesn't say anything, but the look Narcissa and Bellatrix share as Lucius walks in the great hall with sky-blue hair tells her more than enough. She chooses not to say anything- after all, if Lucius has bragged about snogging her to everyone, he deserves the hex. Screw him.
She decides that they're not going to work out. As it turns out, Lucius is a huge ponce and she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore- she probably would have noticed earlier if she wasn't so blinded by infatuation. Next time, she'll pay attention.
Ted is a muggle-born wizard from Hufflepuff, and he's in her Arithmancy class, and he seems to have a thing for her. She doesn't notice him at first, but one day he approaches her, and the two make conversation. He's funny, bright, amusing, and awfully nice. Nicer than Lucius had ever been to her, actually- not that she has to compare the two, but her brain decides to do it anyways.
She doesn't tell Bellatrix and Narcissa about him- they would probably bury her alive in their backyard if they learned she was seeing a muggle-born, but she does tell Pandora, who reacts better than she would expect any Slytherin to- but Pandora's always been understanding, which was what had drawn her and made her fall in love with the other girl in the first place, a few years prior.
So, she sees Ted in secret. The two plan their future, and decide they're going to elope after their seventh year. It's all too enticing, and she's desperate to get out of her family's grasp- she can do without the blood purism, she decides, and she thinks she and Ted might be soulmates. Unlike Lucius, Ted doesn't run his mouth and tell everyone about them- he respects her wishes and actually listens to her, rather than talking about himself all the time.
Dear diary,
Can someone remind me why I was ever into Malfoy to begin with?
Love, Andromeda