MASH is the property of its' creators and syndicators.
Author's Note: Frank Burns was an incredibly easy target for Trapper, Hawkeye and BJ. B
urns remind me a bit of Wile-E-Coyote. What if Frank Burns had a bit more depth to him? Not necessarily friends with his "Swamp Buddies," but tolerable. A decent doctor with a more decent personality. Let's find out.
The tale begins -
At 3 am, the camp was usually as quiet as a hospital could be. There were still 8 soldiers recuperating in Post Op from surgeries down earlier in the day. At 3 am, Frank Burns was the doctor on call; his role was to keep an eye particularly on 4 men who'd gone through tough surgeries. In fact, he'd done two of them himself, Two very badly injured soldiers. Both from the same Platoon – one that got ambushed and suffered several critical bullet wounds. Frank felt he needed to stay in Post Op all night to be ready if needed.
It had been a very long day that could turn into a very long night.
He was carefully checking each chart to make certain nothing was amiss or unclear.
Nurse Baker walked into Post Op with a coffee mug. She walked up to Frank and offered it to him."
"I thought you might need this, Major," she said.
"Thank you. I've got to be fully awake until next shift starts at 6am. This will help," Frank stated.
"Sir," Nurse Baker replied, "Since there are some very serious injured here, Major Houlihan asked me to be available if you needed any help."
Frank had always felt an attraction for Margaret Houlihan: bright, sharp, focused, organized and very serious about following Army regulations. She was also very attractive and single.
"Margaret," he thought, "If I wasn't married…."
Suddenly, one of the wounded woke up and began to scream incoherently. Burns and Baker walked right over. Private Shaw had some serious burns and was set to go to an EVAC hospital in the morning. Right now, Shaw was in obvious agony. Frank and Baker quickly exchanged a glance.
"Private Shaw?" Baker began, "What hurts the most right now?"
Burns followed up, "Where does it hurt right now?"
Though Shaw was barely screaming he still wasn't talking. Burns thought it over. Medically, there was very little that could be done – that was what the EVAC could help with. Though Shaw was getting a bit calmer, it was quite likely that his painful injuries would wake him again.
"Nurse Baker, I have an idea," Burns began "Let's dose him with two medications – one two ease the pain and another than will allow the Private some sleep. "What do you think?" he asked Baker.
"Sir, that makes good sense. I just feel so bad for Shaw," Baker replied.
"We can't cure him or even do anything surgically that could help. What we can do is try and help get him through the night," Burns began, "You can see on his chart what he'd been given for pain and for rest. It's been about 4 hours. Please prepare the same dosage as before as it's marked. Once we get this into him, he may get at least some peace, tonight."
Nurse Baker prepared both doses and returned. She handed the injection for pain to Frank and took the one for sedation. Working with Major Burns could be stressful – the man was an incredible perfectionist. However, he could also be calm and focused. Baker and Burns injected medication into Shaw. Within a minute, Shaw was back to sleeping.
"Thank you, Baker," Frank remarked.
"You're welcome, Sir," Baker replied, "Would you like to doublecheck how the others are doing?"
"Sounds like a good idea," Burns replied, "let's do everything we can."
An experienced doctor with a bright future, Burns had considered running an ER when he got back to Fort Wayne.
He wasn't considering it anymore.