A/N: Posted in 2018.. Not my first fanfic, not even my first POSTED fanfic but like... my first written thing that I kind of took seriously? (I don't count wattpad originals...) The hell.
Here's my OG AN: This is my first attempt at Harry Potter fanfiction, or my first fanfiction over all.
I could not stop thinking about how Andromeda had lost most of her family,and how heartbroken she must have been to learn about the fact that Nymphadora (and Remus) had died, only a few months after Tonks, and only a few months after giving birth to Teddy. How devastated she must have been to learn that her own sister's had murdered her child.
[I like to think that Nymphadora and Sirius are hexing the heck out of Bellatrix in the after-life.] - 17 year old Mari
[1998]
Andromeda Tonks was a lot of things.
She could be nothing but relieved, after learning of You-Know-Who's demise. After all, his death marked the end of a dictatorial regime, one that had done nothing but fuel hate into the hearts of the Wizards it had not killed yet. One that only tore family aparts, and had destroyed countless lives.
She was devastated, by the damage the war had done. All she could do was to think about her daughter, who had so much to live for, and who had been too young, too innocent, and too inexperienced about life to die. Her free-spirited, kind hearted, endearingly clumsy daughter, whose laugh she would never get to hear again, and whose smile would never light up a room again. About her son-in-law, whose son would never get to properly know. About her husband, whose death had affected her in the worst possible ways, and who she was still mourning, when she learned about her daughter's passing.
She could not keep the tears from spilling, when she thought about her older sister. Whenever she would try to associate the young girl who she had looked up too as a child, admirative of her wild and carefree personality, and the murderer of her only child, the only thing she could do was to wonder how thing had gotten so far off track that a person she used to be so close to had ended up destroying her life in the worst ways possible. How her younger sister, and her best friend as a child, had sided against her. How her family had been torn apart, all over again.
She found herself longing for her husband's hugs. For the warmth of his arms. For the kindness in his eyes. For her daughter's smile. For things she knew she would never get to see, feel, or hear ever again.
She found it easier not to use her daughter, or her husband's name. All it would do is worsen the constant ache in her heart. Remind her of what she had lost. Make the process of grieving them harder.
She would see bits of her daughter in Teddy. She found herself thinking back of her daughter's firsts, whenever she would look at her grandson, and wondering when thinking of her finally would stop feeling like her chest was being ripped open, and her heart stomped on.
Andromeda Tonks was a lot of things, but she feared happy would never be one of them ever again.