It was Robert Crawley's birthday. He was heavily drunk. Well, not as much as he did when he was young, but his headache was still massive and aching hard.
He then slowly turned to his side to see his darling wife, still asleep peacefully beside her. Knowing her, she's not much of a drinker herself. Hopefully he didn't do anything that would make him regret anything today. Robert then carefully kisses her cheek, and slowly got off their shared bed to cook them breakfast.
As he got downstairs and got the coffee maker running, he then checks his messages. And the first one that he saw, was of course, was from his family's group chat:
July 4, 2023, 00:00 am
Mary: HAPPY
Edith: HAPPY
Sybil: HAPPY
Alex: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!
Mary: OFFICIALLY A SENIOR CITIZEN!
Edith: OLD MAN (REAL)!
Sybil: GILF CONFIRMED!
Alex: He'll see this in a few hours, right?
Mary: Sure, he will! And wish that he won't search what GILF means, Sybil.
Sybil: Oh, I sure he knows about it!
…well, hopefully.
He chuckles softly, and quickly drowns the paracetamol in his mouth with water before replying back:
July 4, 2023, 06:45 am
Papa (Robert): Thank you, kids
Much appreciated 3
And as he went on cooking breakfast for two, he and his children had quite a chaotic banter on the chat—which Robert knew that it'll be questioned by his wife later:
Alex: How does it feel to be an actual senior citizen now?
Papa (Robert): Delightful, I suppose...?
And happy. :)
Mary: Would you allow us to bring you along for the senior discounts?
Papa (Robert): Anywhere BUT the department store, for God's sake.
Edith: Anything you want for this year, Papa?
Papa (Robert): If I speak, I will be kicked out of here forever.
Alex: EYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Edith: OMG PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sybil: Do you actually know what a GILF means?
Papa (Robert): I don't. And I'd rather not know about it until further notice.
Alex: Well, that answers one thing.
Mary: Anyway, happy birthday again, Papa!
Edith: We all love you so much!
Sybil: And enjoy your day!
Alex: Whatever they said.
Kidding. Happy HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAPAROO!
Papa (Robert): Thank you all so much. 3
After washing the utensils that he used, he then received a rather unusual message—from someone living inside the house themselves:
July 4, 2023, 07:25 am
American Wifey: Happy birthday, dear. 3
And while he appreciates the greeting, Robert laughs softly to himself and went on a different route and texted her back while he prepares their breakfast tray:
English Husband: Really, Cora.
I'm just downstairs.
You could've greeted me there, ya know. :((
Not a moment to spare, he received an immediate reply:
American Wifey: I'm too lazy to get up today.
Well, mostly because it's YOUR FAULT.
And that moment, he finally FINALLY remembered what happened (or at least, most of it) last night.
"Hopefully you enjoyed tonight's dinner, Mr. Crawley." Cora whispered to his ear as they entered their home.
"I very much enjoyed it." he replied, smiling drunkenly "Thank you for the surprise, Mrs. Crawley."
"Oh, but we haven't had any dessert yet."
"Really? And what do you have in mind?"
"Why don't you join me inside the room to find out?" Cora then said, before carelessly tossing her heels off and making her way to their shared room.
Robert then snapped back to reality, realizing the left her on read. He quickly shakes his head, and eventually replied:
English Husband: On the contrary, it's YOUR FAULT
for giving me my birthday present a night early, so…yeah-
As he proceeded to being the tray up to their room, he got a response from her:
American Wifey: Says the man who was more than eager to undress me last night while we're still at the restaurant.
Robert almost topples over and drop the tray at its entirety at the response. He then replied, all while blushing red as a tomato:
English Husband: Well-
Breakfast will be up.
I'll be there in a jiffy. Love ya. :))
He then heard a laugh coming from their room, and composed himself for a few moments before knocking and entering.
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you." Cora Crawley sang softly as her husband entered "Happy birthday, dear Robert...happy birthday to you!"
Robert chuckles softly, and sets the tray at the foot of their bed before crawling back up and lean in for a kiss.
"And happy Independence Day to your country, too." he then reminded her.
"Oh, you know I don't celebrate that as much as before."
Robert looks at her confused "Why not?"
Cora then gently runs a hand to his salt and pepper hair as he held her closer "Well, if I remember correctly—I was conquered by the British last night. I somehow admire his effortless skill to conquer my entire country in just one night." she then looks at her, grinning "Don't you admire him, too? After all, you are British yourself."
He then laughs softly, and gently rests his forehead against her shoulder. She then tries not break her sexy demeanor—but ultimately fails and laughs alongside him.
"That's the most horrible set of puns I've ever said in my life." she told him.
"It's good and bad at the same time." he looks up at her, still laughing "Majorly on the good side though."
Cora rolls her eyes at him, and chuckles before kissing him softly once again "Happy birthday, dearest."
Robert smiles "Thank you, darling." He replied softly, gently rubbing her back.
"You know, I just read the messages earlier."
"Oh no...Oh no." Robert said dramatically, nuzzling his face deeper to her shoulders, making Cora tickled and giggle.
"Oh yes. It seems your kids are going to be enjoying senior citizens discounts as soon as they visit here sometime soon."
"As long as it's not fashion related, I would very much let them so."
"And you really don't know what GILF means?"
Her husband shakes his head, and she chuckles again before whispering to his ear what it truly means. Robert looks up to face her once again, his face in complete shock.
"What?!" he said to her.
Cora nodded "It's more of the first one, and less of the other." she said, "But still, it's more or less the same thing."
"And kids these days say that?!"
"Most of them…which includes our own kids, yes."
Robert took a few moments the information his wife just said, all while Cora finds his expression funny and adorable at the same time.
"Well, you are a GILF, if I'm being honest." he then said "Because you know…I very enjoying pleasuring you—for a lack of a better word to use."
"And I can say the same you, mister." Cora grins "I enjoy pleasuring you in every way possible."
"Well in that case," he then slowly said her back down on their bed "May I have the honor of pleasuring you once again?"
"But isn't it me who is supposed to be one pleasuring you today?" she sighs softly as he showers kisses on her neck and shoulders.
"Seeing you pleasured is already enough for me, dearest." Robert grins, trailing lower down her body.
It was only safe to say that the breakfast was long forgotten for a few more moments from that point on.