Chapter 29: Da Samurai:
Jack's POV:
My friends and I entered a diner.
"I will have the soup," I said.
"Salad," says Jill.
"I will try the special," says Peter. We then saw someone having a strange reaction. "What did he have?"
"The special," says a waitress.
Peter then got scared. "Change my order to soup!"
Then a creature popped out of the man's chest. "Not again!"
Creature: On a night such as this
With the full moon up high
A creature comes out
With a frightening cry
It towers above you
Tall as two giraffes
And as it approaches
Oh, how it laughs
Ha!
Creature/Chorus: So beware, all you young ones
You're in for a fright
Something is lurking
But just out of sight
You won't hear it coming
Though try as you might
So, beware of the Zimwi
Beware of the Zimwi tonight
Creature: Listen closely now
Big spikes has the Zimwi
And yes, it moves fast (Chorus: Yes, it moves fast)
With eight legs on his body
Each bigger than the last (Chorus: Bigger than the last!)
His teeth are sharper than a croc's
So, I've heard
Yet those who have seen it
Never speak another word
Creature/Chorus: So, beware, all you young ones
You're in for a fright
Something is lurking
But just out of sight
You won't hear it coming
Though try as you might
So, beware of the Zimwi
Beware of the Zimwi tonight
Haha!
Beware of the Zimwi tonight!
We were all confused. Then a loud and obnoxious man came in. "That's right, it's me, the biggest baddest dude to ever be big and bad, Da Samurai! Lemme show ya my mama!" His 'Mama' is a sword. "Ain't she a fine-looking blade? Y'know she is!" He then starts flirting with a woman, who then calls these robots. "Excuse me." He then starts slicing them. "That's right!"
Then Ashi and some robots came in. "Samurai Jack," says Ashi, "these are Aku's newest bounty hunters! They will destroy you!"
The robots tried to attack me, but then I leaped in the air and destroyed them with my sword. I then sat down and Ashi ran off.
"That didn't take too long," says Jill.
Da Samurai then sits at our table.
"Can we help you," asks Peter.
"So, you are Samurai Jack," says Da Samurai, "well, there is only room for..."
"Can I borrow some money," asks Peter.
"Oh sure," says Da Samurai, "for one samurai!" I just ignored him. "Do you know who I am?"
"I believe everyone here does," I said.
"I think you need to learn how pronounce 'the'," says Jill.
"I need to lea... look, Samurai Jack, you and me, let's go!"
"Very well. Follow us," I said.
"Wha... oh, you want to take this outside," says Da Samurai.
. . .
We were then outside and Jill hands Da Samurai a stick. "Hey Baby, this is a stick," says Da Samurai.
"You are to use it for combat," I said.
Da Samurai then laughs. "Now, draw out your weapon!"
"It is you who must draw out your weapon," I said.
Da Samurai is annoyed. "Fine, I'll use the stick!"
We then fought and I was beating him. "You have alot to learn," I said. He tries again, but I anticipate him. "He who runs with aggression walks without dignity."
"Now I see your strategy," says Da Samurai, "you gonna bore me to death."
He tries again, but I beat him. "You can never defeat another if you know not how to defeat yourself," I said.
"Man, what is this, story time," asks Da Samurai. I then disposed of Da Samura's face glass. "Man, do you know how much I paid for these?"
"That reminds me," says Peter, "here is some of your money back."
"Thanks," says Da Samurai, annoyed.
"He who wears a mask cannot see what lies within himself," I said.
"Now, what the heck is that supposed to mean," asks Da Samurai.
I then continued to remove Da Samurai's attire. "The shell of an oyster only hides the pearl inside," I said.
"That's it," says Da Samurai, "we are using swords and..."
Then Ashi and newer robots came. "These will teach you a... are you fighting with sticks?"
"No," says Da Samurai.
"Attack," says Ashi.
"Later Jack!" Da Samurai then ran off.
"He ran in da other... now he has me doing it," says Jill.
I then fought the robots and started slicing them with my sword. The robots kept trying to attack, but I kept defending myself and my friends. Eventually, that was it.
"Man," says Da Samurai, "I guess I... I guess I ain't so bad after all. Man, that was pretty amazing." Da Samurai then looks up. "Look out!" Ashi was about to attack, but I manage to flip her into a bush.
"You have taken your first step toward the true path to the way of the samurai," I said. My friends and I then walked away.
Da Samurai then followed after us. "Yo, Sensei! What's the second lesson? What's tomorrow... three and four? You got a videotape I can look at? Gimme some homework, man! Should I just think positive thoughts? Wassup?"
XXIX
In the next chapter, Jack and his friends learn about Titan.