It was a beautiful day on the Island of Sodor. And it happened to be Lady Hatt's birthday. Not that many people cared however. Only The Fat Controller did, there was a 15-Dollar cake from Walmart, Deflated looking balloons, and a shitty bouncy castle. But worst worst of all was a craigslist band that costed 5 Dollars.

"CHOMISH YOU HAVE TO COLLECT THA CRAIGSLIST BAND" Said the fat controller

James and Gordon were pissed. They wanted to collect the craigslist band themselves. Thomas puffed mediocerly across the island and into Knapford Station. The bad band climbed aboard Thomas, and he raced away. But Thomas was so excited, he pulled away too soon. The tuba player was left behind! Thomas steamed off to Maithwaite Station. And the brass band assembled on the platform. Suddenly, the bandleader cried out.

"Where the actual fuck is the tuba player?" He wailed. "We...probably could... play without him!"

No one had a fucking clue where the tuba player was.

"I'm not sorry, sir." Gasped Thomas. "He's completely useless with a shit-strement"

Thomas raced back to Knapford Station, but the tuba player wasn't at Knapford Station. He was waiting for Bertie the bus. Bertie pulled up beside the tuba player.

"Can you take me to-" Bertie raced by, crushing his feet. "OW"

Thomas arrived at Knapford Station and couldn't see the tuba player anywhere.

"Oh NOoOOOoOoOoO" snarked thomas. "Welp guees we gotta go without 'em! bye bye!"

Meanwhile, The Tuba Player Found Elizabeth.

"Can you take me to the party" Said the tuba player.

"I'll take you to the flour mill" said elizabeth

"But!-" Protested tuba man

"TO THE FUCKIN FLOUR MILL, SONNY!"

He climbed onto Elizabeth's phat wagon, and he practiced his tuba as they chuffed down the lane. Thomas puffed faster and faster. Wherever was the tuba player? Thomas flew right across the level crossing. He did see Elizabeth waiting there and the tuba player on her flatbed! And he did hear the tuba playing.

Elizabeth took the tuba player all the way to the mill.

"There you are, old man!" She puffed. Trevor will take you OUT!

Trevor, Somehow, Grabbed out a glock and shot the tuba player in the chest.

The tuba player Screamed climbed aboard Trevor. Trevor chugged slowly down the lane. and i mean SLOWLY. A bus would call him slow. that's how slow he was! Thomas kept on looking, but the island was very big, and the tuba player was very tiny. Thomas looked behind freight cars and called into coaches. He raced along the main line, tooting all the way, but it didn't help. Where was the tuba player? Thomas raced into the yard. Percy was coming the other way

"HOLY SHIT" said percy "GET OUTTA THE WAYYYYY!"

Thomas bumped straight into Percy, and the bunting flew up into the air. Percy's freight cars came off the track and so did Thomas.

"OUCH" said thomas, screaming. "MAH FUCKIN WHEELS"

he'll never find the tuba player now. not that he cares, though. He hates tubas.

Harvey arrived to put Thomas back on track. He cared not in the slightest for the trucks, though.

"How the hell did you get into this mess?" He boomed.

" I was avoiding the tuba player." Moaned Thomas.

"Look and listen." Harvey said thoughtfully. "You must find him. You may not want to, but lady hat will be sad if you don't, and if you make her sad, the fat controller will scrap you.

So Thomas took his time, and he listened very carefully. Then he heard it, the sound of a tuba playing in the distance. Trevor was chugging happily down the lane with a glock to the tuba player's head. He was not enjoying the tuba player's music. Thomas pulled up. He wasn't pleased to see the tuba player.

"get on." said thomas.

He'd try to get on, but he was cut in half by thomas. By accident.