AN: My first oneshot. Any critique and/or comments are appreciated!
Follows the Violet Evergarden 2020 movie, which had an ending that in my opinion, destroyed all character development Violet underwent in the TV series and previous movie. So I wanted to write an AU where she didn't literally jump off a ship to meet Gilbert and then freaking retires and lives with him happily ever after. What kind of ending is that?
Needless to say, I do not own Violet Evergarden.
The Voice in My Heart
Violet Evergarden, Auto Memory Doll of the C.H. Postal Company, the most famous doll in Leidenschaflich, stares blankly out upon the cold and merciless ocean.
Though her dress is more than enough to block the wind she feels cruising upon the ferry, Violet felt cold. Her heart felt frozen, as if someone had emptied a bucket of ice upon her being.
In the end, after two consecutive days, she was still unable to see the Major.
"Major Gilbert..."
The name still slipped from her lips in a reminiscent evocation, reminding her of the life that he had granted her, the happiness that he had been able to give her.
So, why did he choose to refuse to see her?
Did he feel guilty about the war? Was it because she was no longer a soldier, and no useful to him?
She shook her head lightly. No, the latter definitely was not the answer. The Major was a kind man, who told her to find meaning in life, and to live. He wouldn't be upset over such a thing.
And why was she still holding onto him? Hadn't she finally learnt to grow independent?
Though she asked those questions, Violet knew the answers.
She loved him, and she did not say so herself.
Why, why?
She had said it, hadn't she? In the letter?
Perhaps...
She nodded conclusively, now having sorted out her emotions and coming to a final decision.
One last time. This would be it. No matter the result, this next trip to Ekarte Island, would be the end of her emotional dependence on the Major.
If she was to truly live, and not betray her promise to understand I love you, then she must learn to both hold on and let go.
Since right now, she seemed to be having trouble letting go.
...
...
It would be another two days before the ferry headed for Ekarte.
On that day, Violet dutifully arrived, patting down her royal blue and white dress, and nervously fiddling with her briefcase.
Nervousness and anxiety were emotions that proved rare to Violet, as her unique upbringing would dictate her to always remain calm and think things through.
However, this notion of calm that was drilled into her very being seemed to vanish whenever the Major was brought into the scene.
She stood up from her seat, gathering the glances of a few passengers, and carefully made her way over to the railing, where she could stand and observe the beautiful scenery.
It is a gorgeous day, pretty in every sense of the word. The sun's brilliant rays reflected off the light blue water. There was no wind besides the movement of air past as the boat continued its journey.
Violet raised her hands to her face, and with gentle and delicate tugs of her teeth, pulled the silken gloves off to reveal the metal hands that served as constant reminders of her past spent warring.
The metal clinked softly against itself, and Violet was blinded by the immaculate shine the sun gave the prosthetics.
It was odd, truly. Before, whenever she looked at them, she would remember nothing but the pain of regret and sadness. Regret for all the lives she had taken and ripped apart without a second thought, and sadness for the families that had to endure such tragedy.
But now... even with those thoughts in mind, she did not feel the same brutal tug in her chest. It was still there, just fainter.
You are burning, Violet.
Is the flame slowly getting smothered? She wondered.
Her hands moved towards her chest, slowly wrapping around the emerald brooch that the Major had given her.
Oddly enough, even with metallic prosthetic hands, grasping the brooch gave her a feeling of warmth.
...
...
The ferry finally rocked to a halt, and Violet picked up her briefcase and parasol. The typewriter, paper and sky-blue umbrella felt heavier than usual inside, and her hands tightened around the handle.
She took a deep breath and began to walk towards the shack.
She takes another breath, and another. One for each step that took her closer to the Major.
Violet could feel the heat of the sun, and she could hear the happy cries of children as they ran around the town, laughing and playing with each other. These trivial things served to distract her just enough to stop her constant deep breaths, and when a child ran up to her, she smiled and bent down.
"Pretty lady, what are you doing here again? Did you meet Gilbert-sensei?"
She put on the kindest expression she could, and if anyone who knew her witnessed this moment, they would be shocked at how much emotion her face betrayed.
"No, but that's why I'm here today."
He smiled widely, white teeth shining in the sun. "Well, hopefully you will see him today! He's been gone for a few days; he said that he's going to be gone from a school for a few days, but I think he's still here."
Violet tilted her head slightly to the side, "He said he would be gone for a few days?"
"Yeah!" The boy's exuberance dropped, eyes becoming a bit downcast and shoulders slumping ever-so-slightly. "He seemed sad when I asked why. Something about missing opportunities and writing a letter."
Violet's heart suddenly picked up its pace. "Thank you for telling me, young master." She stood up, and hesitantly reached out a hand. When she did not feel any opposition from him, she lightly ruffled and patted his hair, a gesture that she has only ever seen others do but have never done herself. "I will be going now."
The boy waved goodbye, and with a spark of hope lingering in her heart, Violet trudged onwards to the little cabin. The sun was getting into her eyes, and she opened the parasol that had once belonged to the daughter of famous playwright Oscar Webster. The baby-blue color blended perfectly into the sky, and Violet felt like she was holding a piece of the sky itself; even the white lace frills looked like clouds.
With the sun out of her eyes, she walked. She could feel that unconsciously, her footsteps began to speed up. Light clicks of her heel every second turned into a rapid succession of wood on stone, and her dress soon trailed behind her in a flow of blue of white.
Until finally, before her eyes was that same wooden door, the one she had knocked on, cried on, leaned on that night.
Her hand raised mechanically, slow and methodical, before finally (after what seemed to Violet to be an eternity) descending upon the wood in a sharp tap.
The knock rang, and a weary voice sounded from inside the cabin. "I'm coming."
Her heart pounded at the familiar voice. The same that had said I love you, the same voice that had both haunted and comforted her over the years.
And finally, the man whose owns that voice finally appeared.
Gilbert looked sick. His skin was pale, cheeks sunken, and shadows under his eyes. Upon seeing his visitor, he froze, and stood there shaking violently.
Violet let the parasol and briefcase down, gently upon the green grass. She gently reached out, as if afraid to disturb Gilbert. "Major..."
Her former commander in the army finally broke free from his stupor, and tears began to fall out. His arms closed around Violet, and they embraced.
"Violet, I-I'm sorry." Gilbert sounded broken, and these three words sounded like they took a monumental effort to be released from his mouth. "I... forced you into a life of war, to take lives you never should have, and destroyed any chance of a normal childhood for you."
He was essentially shouting at this point, letting all his guilt and sadness out in an unstoppable torrent of words. "So why? Why do you still want to see me? After everything I've done to you? Why-"
"Major."
Violet's unexpected calmness surprised both her and Gilbert. "Major, I disagree. You may have introduced me to war and death, but you also showed me kindness and emotion. Without you," she clutched the brooch on her chest tightly. "I would not be here. I was able to learn to live! And..."
She looked into his eyes, a duo of emerald brooches, and spoke words that were so soft yet held such weight. "I understand now, Major. I understand what I love you means."
She continued, aware yet uncaring of Gilbert's shock. "Working as an Auto Memory doll took me to many people and places. From them, I learned kindness. I saw and witnessed grief, joy, contentment, and I learnt empathy. I even made friends. And it was all because you gave me a chance, Major."
A few tears leaked out of her eyes; the first Gilbert had seen since that day.
"Thank you for saving me, Major. For giving me a chance to redeem myself from being nothing but a tool for killing. Now that I understand emotions, I can say that I love you."
Gilbert Bougainvillea finally stopped crying and admired the girl that stood in front of him. What once was a girl incapable of comprehending emotions and sought only to obey orders now stood as a young woman, who has learnt to think and act for herself, who can empathize and connect with others in a way he had never imagined her being capable of before.
She had truly matured, and Gilbert finally smiled, a smile laced with pride, relief, and gratitude.
Gilbert dried his eyes. "Violet, thank you."
She tilted her head quizzically. "Why?"
He smiled. "For returning." He paused, as if to let those words sink in. "Now, go," his hand came down upon her head once more, rough skin caressing her silky-smooth hair. "There are more people out there waiting for you to write their letter, right? You have friends and clients waiting for you, so be free."
Violet's chest heaved at this statement just for a moment, but she realized. He understood her purpose for coming. And heh verbally laid her troubles to rest.
Violet straightened. "Yes. Major-"
"Call me Gilbert, Violet. We are no longer at war."
She nodded hesitantly. "Yes, M-Gilbert." His name sounded so foreign coming from her tongue, but she was sure that one day, it would come out as smooth as butter. "Goodbye. Will I see you again?"
He nodded. "I will be around, here and there. I am content with teaching here, but I may have some other plans. "Oh, and" he paused for a moment, as if contemplating how to phrase his words. "You do not need to visit my mother's grave for me anymore. If you still want to go, it should be for yourself, not me, all right?"
Violet Evergarden, Auto-Memory doll, nodded. With a wave of her hand, she turned around and walked away.
There was a certain lilt to her movement that was not there before, as if an unseen titanic weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her pulchritudinous figure slowly disappeared into the distance, and as she boarded the ship, she took one last look at Ekarte.
A small figure stood on the shore, hundreds of meters away, watching.
She smiled, a true smile, one brighter than the rays of sunlight piercing her eyes, as she saw a lone piece of paper fluttering in the wind.
...
...
A knock sounded at his door. The man lazily stood up and unlocked it, only to be greeted by the sight of a beautiful woman.
A head of light gold hair, neatly tied up with crimson ribbons flowing in the wind.
In one hand, she carried a sky-blue parasol that fluttered in the light breeze. In the other, a brown briefcase was tightly clutched.
Her eyes, a crystal blue, met his brown ones, and he averted his gaze. It felt embarrassing to make eye contact with a woman so doll-like and majestic in appearance.
"I will travel anywhere to meet your request."
Two hands, covered in brown silk, parted an ivory dress lined with mahogany and topped with a coat of rich blue. Her knees bent lightly into a neat curtsy.
"Auto Memory Doll." She straightened, eyes meeting his once again. And without any hesitation, the man knew what words were about to be uttered.
"Violet Evergarden, at your service."