Chapter 57: Jack vs. Aku:
Aku's POV:
I was calling my usual source for bounty hunters while Mung Daal and Chowder were getting me my snacks. The phone started buzzing and I started laughing. The bear answers. "Yes, I can hold," I said. Then I had a reply.
"Bounty hunter acquisition line from Black Hat Organization," says Dr. Flug.
"Yes," I said.
"You take the order in branch or delivery," asks Dr. Flug.
"I would like to place an order for delivery," I said.
"Sure, Sir, just give me your name please," says Dr. Flug.
"Aku," I said.
"Acolyte, Acoleman, Achimichu... I can't find you, are you registered in the system?"
"I think I'm in the computer," I said.
"Oh yes, I found you already," says Dr. Flug, "they wrote it with two 'c's'. Honorary member, Accu!"
"Yes, that's it," I said, "I'd like a large..."
"We are out of the big ones," says Dr. Flug, "we have thick and thin."
"Extra thick," I said.
"Perfect, your delivery will arrive in 30 minutes or it's free," says Dr. Flug.
"30 minutes or it's free," I asked, "excellent!" I then laughed.
"We'll charge it into your personal account and..." I just continued to laugh. "Sir?"
Dr. Flug then hangs us. Then my bounty hunter comes. "You're early," I said. He was a large monster. Did not seem that bright. "Right... I suppose you know why you're here." No response. "Destroy the Samurai!" The bounty hunter understood that one and left in his... small car?
Jack's POV:
I was walking through the desert when a large monster came. It attempted to attack me, but I easily defeated it. It was a robot.
Aku's POV:
"STUPID!" I shouted in anger.
Jack's POV:
A large robot with a cannon came. Just as the cannon was about to fire... it just shot a pebble at my sword and then fell back words.
Aku's POV:
"IDIOTIC!" I shouted in anger again.
Jack's POV:
Then an army came.
Singer/Chorus: Ready to die, send in some more troops
Under command to spill the blood of the innocent
Soldiers on the front-line charge toward the enemy
Come as no surprise, hit you like a heart attack
Rifles will rise, millions will fall
Onto the edge of destruction and into war
Make you a victim in your own home
Evil army - crush the elite, army the dominant force
Roll in the tanks, shoot 'em off clear 'em out
Infantry kicking in the front door
Bow down to higher rank, hail the invading force
With only a desire to win a war that can't be won
Make you a victim in your own home
Evil army - ripping through the streets and everybody that they see
Evil army - starting the war so man exist no more
Evil army - coming to fight slaughter everything in sight!
They then all tripped over themselves.
Aku's POV:
Mung Daal's mouth dropped open. Chowder's mouth dropped open. My mouth dropped open. Mung Daal's mouth dropped open. Chowder's mouth dropped open. My mouth dropped open. My mouth dropped open again. Chowder's mouth dropped open. Mung Daal's mouth dropped open. All three of our mouths dropped open.
"Can we stop now," asks Mung Daal, "so you haven't defeated the Samurai..."
"What samurai," asks Chowder.
"It goes to show, if you want something done right, do it yourself," I said. Then I had an idea. "Do it yourself? Yes."
Jack's POV:
I was still in the desert, but then he came. "Aku," I said.
"Yes, Samurai, it is me," says Aku, "how very perceptive of you." I was about to attack, but then Aku stopped me. "Wait, I just came to talk. We do this all the time. We fight, you use your sword, then I say something like 'I will get you next time Samura' and then we see each other in about a week."
"Your tricks will not work on me," I said as I sliced at him.
Aku then leaves. "I will get you next time Samurai!" I then thought about it and Aku returns. "You, see?"
"Perhaps you are right," I said, "what do you suggest?"
"A duel," says Aku.
"A what," I asked.
"You heard me," says Aku, "think about it, Jack. We could settle this thing once and for all, man to man. No armies, no bounty hunters, but more importantly, no sword."
"No sword," I asked.
"How do you reply, Samurai," asks Aku.
"Very well," I said, "but you have to follow three conditions."
"Name them," says Aku.
"One: No superhuman powers! Two: No evil minions to assist you!" Aku began to growl. "And three: No shape-shifting. You come in human form."
"Hey," says Aku, "that was four things!"
"That last one was a two-parter," I said.
"I accept," says Aku, "we shall meet before the rising sun at the ancient ruins beyond the valley of the corpses."
"Agreed," I said, "was that east or west of the crimson hall of the ogre?"
"East," says Aku.
"East, right," I said.
"You know where that is," asks Aku.
"Yes, yes, I will find it," I said, "do not worry."
"You sure," asks Aku.
"No, no, don't worry," I said, "I remember now."
"I can give you a ride if you..."
"I will find it," I said.
"Then I'll see you there," says Aku.
"In human form," I said.
"What," asks Aku.
"I will see you there in human form," I said.
"Oh... I'll be in human form," says Aku, "I thought you meant... never mind. Human form. Got it. And no sword."
"Right," I said.
. . .
I was at the arena.
"You agreed to this," asks Jill.
"Do not worry," I said, "I will bury the sword here in case Aku does any tricks."
"I could shoot him with an arrow," Peter suggests.
"This is between him and me," I said. On one side was the entire resistance. On the other side was all of Aku's forces. Then Aku came in his human form.
"What," asks Aku.
"Well, he's not exactly handsome," says Jill.
"I think he might have gotten uglier," says Peter.
"Go sit in the audience," I said. Jill and Peter then go sit with Johnny. I then took off my gi and I started stretching.
Aku attempts the same but fails. "Enough of this foolishness," says Aku, "it is time to let Fate determine our destiny!"
Aku and I then fought.
Jill's POV:
"I just don't trust Aku," I said.
"Hey, it's my old friends," says Billy, "HI GUYS!"
The Chamberlain's POV:
"Remember," I said, "he is a traitor, so we ignore him."
"Got it," says Chowder, "YOU'RE A TRAITOR NOW, BILLY, SO I'M GOING TO IGNORE YOU!"
Jill's POV:
"OKAY," Billy shouts, "I UNDERSTAND!"
Jack's POV:
"You seem a bit strong for a human, don't you think, Aku," I asked.
"Oh wait, that's right," says Aku, "you said no superhuman, uh, strength? I understand now."
Our fight then continued. I then had Aku down on the ground. "Your reign of terror is over, Aku," I said, "you are finished. It is... over?" A pillar came crashing down. "That pillar did not move by itself, Aku," I said.
"Yes, it did," says Aku.
I came after him, but then something tripped me. "What was that?" I then saw it was Aku. "We agreed there would be no shape-shifting!" I knew he could not be trusted. I then ran back to my sword. "If you cannot follow the rules, then neither will I." I saw my sword was missing. I looked at the audience and realized the rock creature was also missing.
"Raddah," says the rock creature as he was standing next to Aku, holding the sword.
"The rule was no minions allowed," I said.
"I wasn't the one who went for the sword," says Aku.
The Resistance were prepared to jump in and Aku's minions were prepared to fight them.
"It was only because you were..."
"Could've, should've, would've," says Aku, "it's all part of life's sweet sorrow. You're so lucky, Samurai, most of us have to live with our mistakes, but you have to die by yours. Now, say goodbye to your little toy..." The sword turns to dust. "Huhh? A fake?"
"That's right, Aku," I said, "I am smart, and you are pure evil. And I knew you would cheat. So, I had a fake sword made and hid it under that rock over there. Then I hid the real sword right down..." Then I saw it was gone and a note telling me to look. The General had my sword.
"You see, Jack," says Aku, "I knew that you knew I would cheat, so I came prepared. And now you will learn what it means to be a fool!"
"What do we do," asks Jill.
"We gotta move in," says Johnny.
"We shall fight them all," says Peter.
"You guys wanna help me pick my nose," asks Billy.
"I am afraid that you are the fool, Aku," I said, "because I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew that I knew you would cheat. So, I hid fake swords all over the place." All of Aku's minions had swords. "Now all you have to do is figure out which one of these swords is the real one."
Aku starts searching and out of anger, keeps knocking one of his minions down. Eventually, all his minions are knocked out. "Alright, Jack, where is the sword?"
I actually hid it under Jill's chair. "I thought I saw something metal," says Jill.
I then used the sword to starts slashing at Aku. Aku then flies away. "I'll be back, Samurai!"
"And I'll be waiting," I said.
LVII
In the next chapter, Jack and his friends go on a journey to find a time portal.