Chapter 77: The Scotsman Saves Jack (3):
Scotsman's POV:
Ye ever hud they days whaur a noble samurai wielding a magic sword loses his auld lang syne 'n' thinks he's some guy cried brent? Weel that's th' day a'm huvin. Th' samurai lost his brains 'n' noo a'm trying tae hulp him git thaim back. Alang th' wey, we did fin' Jill's fan, sae we micht be getting claise. Thir's juist yin obstacle, an obstacle cried ashi.
"Woah, who's the babe," asks Jack.
"Ah dinnae think she's yer type," Ah said.
"Surrender the Samurai," says Ashi.
"Och, sure ah will dae that whin fish learn tae fly!"
Ashi 'n' ah then fought sword tae sword. She tried tae strike, bit jack's nae th' ainlie yin wi' a magic sword. A dinnae ken if mines cuid ever hurt aku, bit a'm sure it kin hurt ashi 'ere.
"Give me the Samurai and you will live!"
"Hae ye na honor? he doesn't even mind wha he is!"
"What?"
"Ye think he wid say babe if he wis his-sel?"
"Good point. Plus, he would never let someone else fight his battles for him."
"Noo, oot o' oor wey or ah will cut ye intae molecules!"
"Hey, name's Brent. So, what can you tell me about yourself?"
"He is definitely not himself. Very well. I'll allow you two to pass."
"We dinnae need yer allowed, ye vicious harpi!"
"Dude, she's letting us pass."
"I will not kill the Samurai when he is like this."
That banshee then leaves. Ah jalouse she does hae some honor.
"Awe man, I didn't get her number," says Jack.
"Urr ye nuts? she threatened tae murdurr ye!" We then gaed oan oor wey.
. . .
Ah wis keekin at Jill's fan 'n' ah realized thare wis something written oan it... the kinch is ah dinnae read Japanese 'n' ah hae a feeling Jack wouldn't hulp, fur ah doubt Brent wid mind howfur tae read Japanese.
"Hey Dude, what if you were mistaken and we end up running into your friend. That would be pretty embarrassing, wouldn't it?"
Yin thing ah lassy aboot th' auld jack, he doesn't blether this muckle. Ah will hae tae fin' a wey tae drown oot th' blabbing. Ah ken, ah will juist mind a song mah mither used tae sing tae me.
Chorus: She left her baby lying here
Lying here, lying here
She left her baby lying here
To go and gather blaeberries
She saw the wee brown otter's track
Otter's track, otter's track
She saw the wee brown otter's track
But she ne'er saw her baby
Chorus: Ho-van, ho-van gorry o go
Gorry o go, gorry o go
Ho-van, ho-van gorry o go
She never found her baby
Singer: She searched the moorland tarns and then
Wandered through the silent glen
And she saw the mist upon the ben
But she never saw her baby
She heard the curlew crying far
Crying far, crying far
She heard the curlew crying far
But she never heard her baby
Chorus: Ho-van, ho-van gorry o go
Gorry o go, gorry o go
Ho-van, ho-van gorry o go
She lost her darling baby
Singer: She left her baby lying here
Lying here, lying here
She left her baby lying here
To go and gather blaeberries!
"Dude, we got captured."
"What?" Parntly, ah wis sae distracted by mah maw's lullaby that we ended up captured by bug fowk. Gang figure."
"We shall feed them to the Queen," says one bug.
"It was nice knowing you, Dude."
Th' bugs wur aff tae gies tae thair queen, bit then thae giant spiders come 'n' murdurred th' bugs. Thay then keeked at us.
"Need a hand?"
"Ye'r nae aff tae sloch us?"
"Gross! We don't eat humans. That's disgusting. No offense."
"Dude, I'm perfectly fine with that."
"We are strict insectavores... wait, is that right? Anyway, we only eat bugs."
"Ah dinnae suppose ye ken this guy."
"Oh yeah, hey thanks again for helping the Spider Princess talk to the girl she likes. She was so nervous."
"Uggh. You expect me to believe I played matchmaker for two giant spiders?"
"Of course not. The Spider Princess's girlfriend is a scorpion. Weirdo."
"Right... which wey did ye see him gang?"
"I think south."
"Ye'v bin a' ower th' steid!"
"No, I haven't."
"Oh, hey, by the way, your friend dropped his bow."
"That Jill girl dropped her bow?"
"Nae that kind o' bow, th' kind archers uise!"
"Yeah, and it's really sweet. It creates these energy arrows. Anyway, here it is."
Thay then haun us th' bow. 'twas peter's a'richt. Och, ye'r likelie wondering whin ah even learned jill 'n' peter hud weapons. Whit dae ye think happened whin th' daughters o' aku hud thair ain adventures? Ah bet noo ye'r wondering howfur ah even knew aboot ari 'n' ali's adventures.
. . .
We continued movin` 'n' then we fun a group o' frog fowk.
"Ah dinnae suppose ony o' ye hae seen this jimmy richt 'ere."
"Oh yeah," says a frog, "he and his friends went sailing to that island over there."
"That's likelie howfur ye ended up workin' oan a boat in th' foremaist steid."
"Huhh, looking back... I don't remember how I got that job."
"'n' that didnae occur tae ye afore?"
"Guess not."
Looks lik' we're gaun sailing.
LXXVII
In the next chapter, the Scotsman meets the Sirens.