A/N: Thanks again to all those reading, and especially to those reviewing!

CHAPTER 5

Arthur and Merlin do not speak for over a month. Every morning Arthur's breakfast and clothes are ready for him before he wakes and every evening Merlin performs his duties in complete silence. In truth, the servant has never been better at his job.

The situation in Essetir grows more unstable, warlords continuing to engage in bloody battles by which they hope to conquer the now leaderless land. Arthur is keen to avoid the bloodshed and his council agrees; Essetir is not a large kingdom, and any benefits Camelot might receive from taking the land are far outweighed by the risks.

It is coming toward the end of winter when Merlin asks for time off.

"What for?" Arthur's voice is disinterested and he doesn't look up from the invoice he is reading.

"Ealdor has been attacked." Merlin's gaze is lowered to the ground, so he doesn't see the sharp upward jerk of Arthur's head at this news. "Some mercenaries travelled with King Lot and pillaged the village along the way. My mother needs coin and a strong pair of hands to help with repairs."

An instinctive retort - really Merlin? You, a strong pair of hands? - bubbles to Arthur's lips, but he pushes it down resolutely.

"Alright." He forces his attention back to the invoice. "I would say to take one of the knights, but we both know you can look after yourself."

That evening Arthur watches from the castle parapets as Merlin departs with a large knapsack. It suddenly strikes him that this attack on Ealdor might just be an excuse Merlin has engineered in order to escape Camelot, and he finds himself wondering if this is to be the last time he ever sets eyes on his servant.

It has been two weeks since Merlin left and Gwen is downcast. Arthur should have noticed before, but he has been so wrapped up in his own misery that he hasn't had time for anyone else's.

"I'm alright," she tries to insist when he asks her about it. They are in his father's chamber, the King snoring quietly and their voices lowered even quieter so as not to wake him.

"Guinevere." He wraps his hand around hers. "I can see something is upsetting you."

Her shoulders slump as she finally drops the pretense. "The truth is I'm lonely." She huffs an embarrassed chuckle. "Pathetic, isn't it?"

"No. You could never be pathetic." But Arthur is puzzled, because Gwen has always been popular. How could she not be, with such a compassionate nature?

"The servants avoid me now that we're openly courting." Her eyes dart to Uther, still apprehensive to mention their relationship with him in the room - sleeping or otherwise. "It's as if my rank has gone up and distanced me from them. I know I have you and Elyan, but you have your own lives and duties."

"If I could spend all my time with you, I would. In a heartbeat."

Gwen leans against his chest. "I love you Arthur, but even if you had all the free time in the world I need something that's mine. Do you understand?"

"Of course. Of course I do."

"I'm sure things will improve." She doesn't sound convinced. "It's just gotten harder recently. What with Merlin gone..."

"Good riddens," Arthur jibes before he can stop himself and Gwen pulls away.

"Usually I would think that was a joke." She inspects his face, though what she is searching for Arthur is unsure. "What happened between you both?"

He yearns to tell her, but the words cloy in the back of his throat. Is this how Merlin feels all the time, keeping his secret from those he loves most?

"You need your friend Arthur." Guinevere settles back against his chest with a quiet sigh. "And so do I."

Another two weeks pass and still Merlin does not return. More reports come through from Essetir, most of them detailing King Lot's brutal attempts to dominate the Kingdom. His council advises that Camelot should be on its guard and Arthur mentions how lucky it is that Sir Leon and Sir Lancelot's recruitment for new knights has been so successful. He revels in the dour expressions of the more traditional nobles in response to this not-so-innocuous comment and wishes Merlin was here to share a smirk at their expense.

But of course Merlin isn't here, in Camelot, where it's safe. He is with his mother, in Essetir, where the terrible King Lot is perpetuating horrific cruelties. Arthur's resolve finally breaks and he goes to see if Gaius has heard anything.

"He's written to me several times, Sire." Gaius shows him the letters. "The village is mostly back to normal, but he wanted to help Hunith with her planting in time for Spring."

"Is she alright? Hunith?"

Gaius's eyebrow leaps towards his hairline. "She was injured in one of the attacks, but is apparently doing much better now. Did Merlin not tell you?"

"He must have forgotten."

Arthur beats a hasty retreat, leaving Gaius utterly bemused in his wake.

Merlin finally returns to Camelot on the first evening of Spring. Arthur spies him from one of the castle windows, the same knapsack on his shoulders, but his footsteps plodding and slow. He looks exhausted.

The next morning Arthur is sure to rise before the sun does, meaning he is already awake when Merlin enters with his breakfast tray.

"Sire!" Merlin does a double take when he sees Arthur is already dressed. "You're awake?"

"Very good," Arthur drawls. "I'm pleased to see your holiday hasn't eroded your fantastic observational skills."

Merlin smiles cautiously. "If you say so, Sire."

The formal address does not escape Arthur's notice and nor do Merlin's skittish mannerisms. He sits at the dining table as Merlin serves him his breakfast.

"How is your mother-"

"I see the council-"

Both men stop, having spoken over each other, and Arthur gestures to his servant. "Go ahead."

"Oh, er... I was just surprised the council room hasn't been repaired yet."

Arthur heaves a dramatic, exasperated sigh; this is a sore point for him. "No it hasn't. We're still stuck in that stuffy room in the East Wing."

"Ah. Right."

Arthur picks up a fork and starts chasing a piece of bacon around his plate with it. "Gaius told me your mother was injured. Is she well now?"

"Much better, yes." Merlin watches Arthur fiddling with his food, but doesn't make a mocking comment about Regent-Kings-who-act-more-like-children, as he might have done before. "I was thinking-"

"Unusual," Arthur tosses out, finally shovelling a mouthful of breakfast down and realising he is quite hungry after all. "Don't hurt yourself."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Merlin rejoins and they grin guiltily at each other, like two young boys who have just been caught doing something they shouldn't. "I know I said I wouldn't talk to you about the people who know I have magic. But, well, given my mother is in Essetir and not Camelot... perhaps I could make an exception?"

Arthur spears another piece of bacon and gestures Merlin to the seat opposite him. It has been months since their last proper conversation and Arthur laps it up eagerly. Merlin talks of his mother and the fear and loneliness of raising a child who could levitate things before he could speak. He talks of Will and childhood pranks that proved even more mischievous when mixed with untamed sorcery. Finally he talks about coming to Camelot, forced to leave his tiny village before his secret was discovered.

"They must have known I was a sorcerer's son," Merlin realises as he is speaking. "Balinor came to Ealdor on the run from Uther's men and he lived there for a time. Perhaps that was why they always treated me so differently."

"But magic isn't outlawed in Essetir." Arthur's breakfast plate is long since empty. "Why come to Camelot?"

"It isn't outlawed, but sorcerers have never been treated well in Essetir. Even before Cenred was King, my mother would tell me of warlords and witchfinders who hunted sorcerers so they could enslave them for their magic."

Arthur is confronted with a sudden image of Merlin as a child, chained and captured by someone as heartlessly cruel as Aredian. His breakfast threatens to make a reappearance and he swallows down the sudden nausea with difficulty.

"Besides," Merlin continues lightly, perhaps seeing Arthur's discomfort. "My mother thought I would draw less attention in a city. Of course, then I used magic to save the Crown Prince, so that didn't exactly work..."

"You what?!"

But before Merlin can finish that story, the morning bell starts to ring. Spotting Arthur's indignant expression, Merlin says,

"To be continued?"

"I still can't believe you performed magic in front of everyone. The entire court! You must have a death wish."

They are sitting on cushions taken from Arthur's bed and spread across the floor. It has been a long day of tedious council meetings and strategy discussions, but this is all forgotten; Merlin has finally finished telling Arthur of the first time he saved his life

"I didn't mean to!" Merlin defended with a laugh. "I wasn't able to control it as well back then. Which was really quite lucky for you."

"That it was."

Merlin looks surprised at the easy acceptance, but says nothing. Things are still not quite as they were between the two men and it shows in Merlin's wary glances, the tense set to his shoulders.

"The repairs on the council room are really taking an unreasonably long time," Arthur says after a few moments' lull in conversation. "Perhaps there's something you could do about it? With your particular... talents?"

Merlin's eyes widen. "What, you mean-? You want me to use-?"

"Don't read more into it than it is," Arthur warns severely. "I'm just sick of stifling half to death in the East Wing."

Despite the Regent King's caution, Merlin leaves that night beaming ear to ear. And the next morning, Arthur wakes to reports from his bewildered foreman that the council room has been repaired in half the time anticipated.