Chapter 3

Persevere

"You? Why should I care? You, a pitiful child, asked me for mercy?
I am older than you could possibly imagine, I have watched entire worlds burn beneath my feet,
I have seen things which defy sanity itself, and you ask me for mercy?
You mon-keigh disgust me. "
— Archon Kh'err'akh'an of the Kabal of Shadow, to a captured Imperial.

IN THE NEXT days I was very uneasy, to put it mildly. I needed a lot of restraint not to tell Isabelle what would happen to her since it was hard enough as it was. I would not have done her any favour with it. Had I told her, she would have been broken before the Archon could have his twisted fun with her and he may have held this against me, which I wanted to avoid at all costs. I knew that my behaviour was condemnable, but I had to look out for myself. Bonding with other slaves caused nothing but pain here, as hard as this sounded.

However, an interesting distraction was at hand.

On the fifth day after I had been caught, I awoke to the sound of two voices talking to each other. After waking completely, I recognised that it was the Archon and the Haemonculus who were obviously engrossed in a fiery discussion. I pretended to be asleep, since I could understand their words. Clearly, somebody had forgotten to turn off the translator.

Still, I had a hard time following the discussion, because they were talking about strategic details of their mission. What I figured out quickly, was that the Haemonculus seemed to question the Archon quite intensely. He seemed not to have as high of an opinion of him as he had talked me into believing.

So I lay very still and listened, until the Archon spat, "I don't care what you would like me to do! This is my ship and it is my command! Do what you're here for, I want that little bitch healed by the end of the week; I need to prepare her for the Overlord!"

"Thanks for that title," I thought. Then, Chu'uk stormed out of the room, huffing.

The Haemonculus snarled too, muttered something under his breath I did not get and then said, "You can stop pretending, child. I know that you are awake."

I winced, but opened my eyes and sat up a bit. Then I could not help grinning confidently and said, "So this is what it's all about! I see now why you are helping me. You don't trust Chu'uk at all, which is why you want me to trust you, so I can work as your spy. Am I right?"

He released his breath with a hissing sound and replied, "You are too clever for your own good, young one, but yes, you are right. Something is odd about this Archon and I just want to know what it is. I think he is up to something major."

"Alright, I'm all in, since I don't like him too much. But how should I accomplish this? Neither am I somehow trained in this field of expertise nor can I spy on him since I don't speak and can't read your language," I stated.

"Then we'd better train you, hmm?" Oh my, was he never going to drop this slightly amused tone, suggesting he always knew a bit more than he was telling me?

"Oh, I'd love to be trained, but I doubt that he will let me go, since he wants to 'prepare me for the Overlord', whatever this means, but I don't like the sound of it," I replied with a sour tone in my voice, slightly annoyed by his smug behaviour.

The Haemonculus sneered. "Luckily, I have a say in such things. Since you are a biotechnologist, I have use of your skills. Therefore, I will take you in as my assistant and there is nothing he can do about it," he said. "Unfortunately, I will have to wait a bit with this, otherwise, it would look suspicious."

"Do we have enough time?" I asked anxiously.

"Depends on how fast you learn. It will take about three months until we reach Commorragh. It is little time, but you have proven that you are quite bright and I have my means to accelerate your learning rate. But I must warn you: it will be hard for you, I will be hard on you, and in the evening you will have to face the Archon again. And I deem that he won't be too gentle with you either."

I nodded.

"It is sealed then," he said.

There were interesting times ahead.

However, first and foremost, unpleasant ones were about to come. I spent the next four days brooding seemingly sullenly, but within I was almost eaten up by fear. I tried to prepare myself for hearing Isabelle's terrible suffering. If I was unlucky, the Archon would make me watch.

I also discovered a very cruel aspect of myself in these days. I had to find out after three days that Isabelle was an absolute girlie, something I could in no way relate to. She also had started quite quickly to get on my nerves, since she kept whining about her situation and babbling about topics that did not interest me in the slightest. It was not that I did not understand her, but after days of constant complaining and yapping, I had enough. So I caught myself thinking happily that I would be rid of her soon enough, though I knew that it was very cruel to wish anybody such an ending, even if that one was the biggest girlie on earth. Maybe this was also the desperate attempt of my mind to make Isabelle as unlikeable as possible to me, so that I would not be that much shaken by her inevitable screams.

On the fifth day after I had eavesdropped on the conversation between Archon and Haemonculus, the latter gave me permission to walk again. I knew all too well what this meant for me. The Archon would tear Isabelle to pieces today. Feeling very uneasy, I waited until he came back.

Chu'uk entered the room with a terrible smile on his face and I knew what was about to come. He already seemed to know that I did not need Isabelle any longer. Without altering this horrid smile, he went directly to her, grabbed her by her collar, drew her very close to him and whispered tenderly into her ear (but loud enough so I could hear it), "Time to play, little one." He laughed maliciously as he saw in her widening eyes that she knew what that meant. Without taking notice of her pleas for mercy, he dragged her into the torture chamber.

Trembling, I closed my eyes as I realised that I still could hear them. I was not surprised. I could no longer understand the words, but I heard enough, well, enough for the Archon's purposes anyways. What actually surprised me was that he came back. He went directly to me, grasped me at my collar, threw me on my belly, pressed me down and bound my hands behind my back. He seized me by my hair and hissed into my ear, "We don't want you to cover your ears, child." Then he let go of me, leaving me as I was and went into the other room again, laughing eerily.

I had a hard time squirming back to my sitting position – with hands bound on one's back this was not an all-too-easy task. As I was there again, I closed my eyes and awaited the terrible course of things.

It did not take long until the screams began.

I tried to stay as calm as possible, though I could hear all too well what was transpiring in the other room. I learnt that her screams were not even the worst thing about it, because I could hear that he taunted her as he tortured her and he punished every plea and begging for mercy with even more intense agony. His bloodcurdling laughter, which accompanied his terrible deeds, did not help at all. I tried to focus on the fact that I was lucky not to be forced to additionally watch this terrible scene. It did not help a lot, because my imagination undertook that part as gruesomely as if Chu'uk had made me watch.

Afterwards, I did not know how long it had taken, but it had been far too long for my taste. I did not know whether she had fainted or he had killed her – it did not matter. Desperately, I clung to the faint hope that I would not end like this, although I knew it was all too probable.

So I sat curled up on the bed and could not help but to stare with fearfully widened eyes at the Archon, who now came to me and did not hide his dreadful joy. His gauntlets were covered in blood; I guessed he had rammed those terrible claws into her body. He did not say a single word, came to me, seized me with a slick gauntlet at my chin and kissed me. I had a hard time not to gag as he did this, since he disgusted me so much, not least because the smell of blood was overwhelming. I fought my revulsion with all my might and tried to remember that this was absolutely normal for Dark Eldar. I won against my revolting stomach just so.

And of course, he bit me.

This time, he did not stop the kiss after his bite, licking the blood from my tongue and enjoying it full-heartedly. Still, some blood ran down at the corners of my mouth and I trembled in his vice-like grip, fearing that he was lost in his bloodlust and that he would now start torturing me.

Therefore, I was surprised as he drew his mouth away from mine with force, looking deep into my eyes and whispering, "No… you are not mine." He sighed. "Such a pity." Then, his vicious smile was back, now underlined with my blood. He smeared even more of Isabelle's blood onto my face as he caressed my left cheek – I closed my eyes in horror as he did this – and he said, mocking me, "Hmm, wasn't that a nice lesson in humility, my little slave? I can feel that you will respect me a lot more in the future. Am I not right?" He did not expect an answer and just left me, entering the bathroom.

As he had left the room, I just sat in the same position, frozen in horror and still fighting against my roiling stomach. I did not notice that I was almost hyperventilating. I was lucky that he was away for quite some time, because it gave me time to gather myself, at least so much that he had no further reason to mock my fear. I also made myself aware that this was only a very mild form of the torments that could await me from his hand and somehow, though twisted, this notion eased my mental pain. At some point, I shook the horror off – not only mentally, I also shivered physically – and calmed down, at least so much that he could not see my fear in an instant.

He then came back again, the blood removed, and he doffed his armour. After that, he came to me, undid my bindings and said, "Alright, child, enough punishment for today. Go, wash! I guess you don't like the smell of blood, though I have to say that her blood wasn't good at all."

"So, you did not enjoy it?" I asked warily.

He chuckled softly. "Oh, I did, but she was terribly weak. Blood from weak mon-keigh tastes terrible."

I then had to ask, though I was aware it was not all too clever, but I needed to know, "And what about mine?"

His appreciative sound already answered the question for me but he then breathed into my ear, "Do you think that I like to bite you while I kiss you if your blood tasted bad?" He snapped his teeth beside my ear, making me flinch, because the sound was unpleasantly loud. I tried to stay calm and only wagged my head in answer; I would have never managed to say something right now. He laughed softly and mocked me, "Clever girl. Off you go!" I followed his command with delight and vanished into the bathroom.

There I forced myself not to look into the mirror, because I was sure I would only be sick again. I went into the shower and let the hot water rain down on me for quite some time. While I let my mind wander, I noticed that I had absolutely no idea how I was to survive or even endure the Supreme Overlord if Chu'uk's small games almost drove me mad. It was a known fact that the former was the worst of this race, concerning cruelty, no, rather concerning everything. All my hopes lay with the Haemonculus, for his training would either let me make it or not. I would give everything, as much as I had never given in my whole life and I would persevere, no matter what. Giving up and perishing pathetically was not my style; I was too proud and too stubborn for that.

My unshakeable willpower, which had been tested many times before, gave me courage and strength. It was enough to face the Archon again relatively calmly.

Therefore, he eyed me with much interest, tilted his head a bit and stated, "It's really interesting how quickly you are able to regain your composure."

I shrugged and replied, repressing all fear that was left with all my might, "Crying and wailing is no good for me. So I simply try to stop and be calm." I managed to say that without a trembling voice, though it took all my mental strength.

"And you're doing a good job with that. Come here, little one, time to sleep!" Luckily, he seemed to fall for it.

I obeyed, laid into the bed and endured him stroking my body as I tried to fall asleep. I wanted nothing more than to bite his hand and to push him away, but I could do no such thing, because he made me feel so weak and terrible and also I did not want to find out what he had in store for me if I dared to attack him. It surely was better for me if I just endured his deeds silently. At some point, after I had retreated into the farthest corner of my mind, I was able to sleep.

Somebody woke me the next day quite early and I caught sight of the Haemonculus. Chu'uk was nowhere to be found, and I was grateful for that. I looked at him drowsily and he said, "Rise and shine, child! We have lots of work to do, you have much to learn! Make haste with eating and washing, I will come back in half an hour of your time." Then he left.

I did as he bid me. He came back like he said he would and I was unbelievably grateful that he brought some clothing for me with him, though it was only practically underwear made of some soft material. Still, it was better than being forced to run naked through the ship. He then donned a chain on my collar and we started our little journey through the ship.

The ship was very gloomy – as it was with all things in Drukhari culture, I guessed. It was only very dimly lit, using the same, cold light I already knew – barely enough for me to see – and everything was made out of black metal. I was surprised that I was able to see in the corridors, because the last time they had been pitch-black. We did not meet many people, most of them were warriors or messengers, who ran their errands and I felt interested gazes upon me, but no one dared to talk to me or touch me. I was very happy that I was with the Haemonculus, a twisted notion.

It seemed as if the lab of the Haemonculus was on the other side of the ship, because we took quite some time, not walking all the way, but also using some elevators and other means of transportation. The corridors did not change, no matter where we went and I was sure that I would have been lost without a guide. Additionally, walking with bare feet was not too pleasant around here, since half of the hallways did not have solid floors, but rather grids made of metal. Also, the Haemonculus had me walking at quite the pace, in defiance of his means of locomotion, and it was hard to hold that pace, considering the metal around my neck.

At last, we arrived at our destination, the lab of the Haemonculus. He led me inside and I was surprised as we entered it. I was glad that it was a pleasant surprise.

My expectations had been that I would see even more pain and suffering around here, since Haemonculi had a quite distinctive profession, but his laboratory was surprisingly sterile, held in black, and not so different from a lab of my time. I was astonished as I recognised some of the machines. The difference between a human lab and this one were cuffs that could be found on the walls and on some tables, as well as some very distinctive instruments. Haemonculi were, amongst other things, the torture masters of the Dark Eldar race.

I was very relieved when I was allowed to sit down on a daybed. He then tied me down, I looked at him in confusion.

He explained, "Just a precaution, as the last time. To make you learn as efficiently as possible, I will do two things. On one hand, I will inject a toxin into your system which will accelerate your learning rate rapidly, but you will have a headache after I give you the antidote. Don't worry, it will not damage you, it only accelerates your neurons intensely." He sighed and added absently, "Sadly, it only works on humans. It would be so nice for our race, but no one ever found a working and non-lethal formula."

I was amazed that I could identify with this creature a lot easier than with the Archon. Usually, Haemonculi were not known for their charming personalities and sane minds. But right now I just saw a scientist, who pitied that he could not find a beneficial aid for his people.

After a while, he found back into the present and went on, "On the other hand, you will experience pain during your training, because I have learnt through extensive tests that punishing mistakes with pain makes the human brain learn the fastest."

I did not like those prospects, but it was not like I had a choice. I asked, "What will you teach me?"

"Depends on how fast you learn. I will start with our language and writing system. This will help you greatly in spying upon the Archon. Then, to prolong your life as a slave, I will teach you etiquette rules for slaves and court etiquettes, since it will be good for you to know these. You will have to learn about the command structure of the Kabal, along with how you identify the ranks of every individual by reference to their armour. When you have to serve at meetings of the highest in the Kabal, you'll have to know in which order it is wise to serve them. These are the things we'll have to get into your brain. The rest is rather a bonus and will transform you from an average trained slave into a well-trained one – though I can guarantee that your master will find it pleasing that you speak his language. If we have the time, I will teach you about the anatomy of the True Eldar body, medical knowledge, acupressure points and massage techniques and I will train you to endure pain more easily and how you can keep your mind from snapping. And, if there should be still time, I will fill you in a bit on the Overlord himself. What he is like, what you'll have to avoid when dealing with him. However, I doubt we will get that far. Now, enough delaying talk! Let's start right away!"

In defiance of his words, he attached a small metal plate on the top of my head and explained further, "This little chip will stimulate the pain centre of your brain directly. You will feel sharp, short bursts of pain if you make a mistake, but it will do you no harm."

"Funny. In my time, scientists believed that there is no pain centre in the brain."

He chuckled, extremely amused. "Oh, they obviously have no idea. It is the best method to torture the hell out of a human without damaging him or her severely. Although… what would torture be without streams of blood and artistic markings all over the body?" His fondness of torture somewhat sickened me, though it was not surprising. Then, he injected the poison into my arm, folded a screen in front of my face and said, "I will leave you now. Train hard!"

And this I did…

The next three months were the hardest of my whole life. Though the Haemonculus showed me that I did good and learnt fast, he did not go easy on me. He had me training for ten hours a day but my day did not stop after this, because then I had to face the Archon again. Chu'uk noticed that my behaviour towards him improved and he let me know that he would leave my education to the Haemonculus, since I seemed to learn quickly by his methods. I was happy about that and I was quite sure that his fantasies about how the Haemonculus was training me did not match reality.

Though the language and font of the Dark Eldar were highly complex, I was quick. I had never seen such strange inflexions and expressions, since their language used a lot of imagery and heraldry. The font was made up of complex runes, which would mean something completely different if only one dot was left out or done the wrong way. I noticed how quickly I learnt, though I always had been talented when it came down to languages, but without the toxin I sure as hell would have been unable to understand it as well as I did now after just one month of training. I disliked the painful punishments, though, because they were really numbing, but again, the Haemonculus knew his stuff: I studied even quicker with that.

In the next two weeks, I was taught etiquette, ranging from greeting phrases to rules of conduct and also complex movement patterns. I also learnt how to determine the rank of a Dark Eldar by discerning the armour correctly. I really liked that, because I always found their armour to be awesome and it made me happy that I now had a greater understanding of them.

In the last six weeks, I also had some interesting subjects. I always fancied anatomy; therefore I hung on the Haemonculus' every word, who decided to teach me his field of expertise personally. It was an honour and I was aware that no one else could give me that much of a detailed education concerning this topic. He spoke in his language with me, explaining on the one hand that the translators were not good enough to train me properly, on the other he wanted to train me even further concerning the Drukhari tongue. It was astonishing how different humans and Eldar were, the disparities ranging from bone materials and location to internal organs, senses and nerves. Again, I was a good student and when he was satisfied, he taught me massage techniques and acupressure points. For these lessons, one of his torture slaves had a nice time, because I had to train the techniques on him. If I did something wrong, the Haemonculus punished me and of course, I was aware that he enjoyed my punishments pretty much. Additionally, he also enjoyed the last part of my training: mastering pain and steeling the mind.

He was not nice to me.

This was the utterly sugar-coated summary of it. First, he taught me specific breathing and meditation techniques, which eased pain, distress and nausea and then he inflicted all of it onto me and watched with delight as I tried to use them. I screamed and threw up more than once, since he did not take it slow with me but tormented me quite intensely from the beginning. Though I cursed him on the inside, I knew that it was necessary, because the Overlord would also be hard on me later on.

Oh yes, the Overlord.

In the end, when I did not start crying like a little child when he tormented me and when he was satisfied with my progress, he told me some things about the Overlord. There was not a lot of new stuff for me to learn here, since I already knew a lot about him.

Chu'uk made this whole time a living hell for me. Though he spared me from listening when he tortured someone, he now showed me closely how much he wanted me in a sexual way. He kissed me a lot, touched me in ways I found repulsive, hurt me while doing it and neither allowed me to make myself more pleasant to look at nor to wear clothes in his presence. Once, in a passionate fury, he was about to rape me and I only saved myself from that experience by reminding him in this moment that I was not his in the end and how unwise his course of action was. I tried not to remember too closely what he did to me for that insolence afterwards, only the Haemonculus saved me from being a complete mess for two weeks or so.

After this incidence, the Archon had no respect or kindness for me left; he constantly mocked me and agonised me whenever possible and treated me like a misbehaving and stupid pet. This was not very pleasant, but then again, this way he never suspected me as a spy. Afterwards I was sure that I was only able to bear his nastiness because I did not spend too much time with him and the mental pressure I experienced in this time was much more taxing than the physical. However, I also took his way of treating me as training for the Overlord, because he would be a lot meaner to me after all.

Thus passed the time with Archon Chu'uk.

Halfway through this time, I was able to read Chu'uk's notes, which he kept carelessly in his quarters. What I found out startled me and let me doubt his sanity, because he really planned on assassinating the Overlord by his own hand. Chu'uk wanted to do it when he gave me to the Overlord, because then he would be close enough to him.

Had he never read any history book on his own people to know how this usually ended?

He really had to be full of himself to think that he was good enough to kill Asdrubael Vect in such a crude attempt. The Overlord surely had survived more sophisticated attempts on his life and it was all too possible that he already knew what Chu'uk was planning.

How was the saying?

Pride will have a fall.

Without any doubt, Chu'uk was one of the proudest beings I had ever met.

I told the Haemonculus what I had found out the next day. He nodded and stated, "This is even more idiotic than I had anticipated. I had the feeling for quite some time now that the Archon wants to take over the Kabal, but that he wants to do it in such crude ways surprises me. Nevertheless, the Overlord has to be warned and protected and this is where you come in, child."

I looked at him in confusion and surprise. "Me? But how…"

"You have proven that you are clever, so I am sure that you will find a way to do it," he said, determined.

"But what about you? Can't you…" I started, but again he cut me off in mid-sentence.

"No, child. I am not allowed in High Commorragh if I am not summoned there explicitly by a Dracon, a Hierarch or an Archon. Since you will be present, if your information is correct, it will be up to you, but I can assure you that if you do it subtly enough, the Overlord will be very pleased with you." His eyes narrowed. "It seems as if you will have quite an interesting future, my child."

I sighed. "Well, I hope I don't blow it."

"Let's hope for all our sake that you don't. If Vect falls, Commorragh will burst into a bloody civil war, which might consume the whole city. Normally I don't care much about politics, but in this special case I'd rather be sure."

"But I'm sure that the Overlord can protect himself quite well without me helping," I tried wiggling out of this, in a subdued tone.

His mood turned sour. "Do you want to rise in his favour and live not only as his torture slave or not?!"

"Of course, I want to!" I replied hastily.

"Then stop complaining and do your job, slave!"

This concluded the discussion.

It looked as if I had to manage somehow to warn or even save Asdrubael Vect…