A/N: (EDIT! Added more content because everyone seemed so charmed with the chapter! Hope ya enjoy~!)

WARNING!

THIS GETS...BLOODY. Its Game of Thrones after all.

There, you've been warned, so brace yourself for the end. Just wanted to tell you.

0_0

Well well well indeed!

Apparently people like this story if the near 600 follow rate and 100 reviews are anything to go by 0_0

REVIEWS FEED MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF CREATION! It keeps usssss alive!

I'm kidding of course, feel free to do as you please, dear reader.

Feels good to be back in the saddle again! Even after that...finale, I find that the site has never been stronger; from Season Eight dozens upon dozens of new stories have spawned, written by author new and old alike. I've read through quite a few of them

Game of Thrones for life!

I'm back, baby!

Now for the questions!

Q: Please save Shae.

A: Consider it done, m'lord.

Q: So, Naruto was cursed by Kaguya?

A: With eternal youth, yes. He can be killed of course, but we know how hard it is for him to die.

Q: More chaos! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

A: You'll have it friend, that much I can assure you.

Q: How long has Naruto been in Westeros? Days? Weeks? Months?

A: This chapter explains quite a bit; it also shows he was well traveled. Read on~!

Q: Naruto's going to humiliate the Mountain, isn't he? That aside, its good to see Tyrion back to form. Always did love the little bastard. Although...you've had Naruto say he isn't a Lannister? Is there a story behind that one? A few reviewers compared Naruto to Gaunter O'Dimm from the Witcher 3. Aye, that'd be a good comparison.

A: Lets just say...Kings Landing is in for a surprise.

Clearly I own no references or characters or quotes, here.

There, I think I've blathered on long enough, so lets get back to the story shall we? Awaaaaaaay!

"I said I would fight for you. I meant it, you know."

"Why go to such lengths for me? I'm just a runt of a lion."

...as I have said before and will say again, you are no Lannister."

~A Man and a Dwarf.

The Proud Lord Said

They talked long into the night.

Now that Tyrion knew someone was actually willing to fight on his behalf, he found he wanted to live after all. Quite badly, in fact. After the initial shock and blubbering-blasted bloody tears!-once he realized that he would no longer be subject to the horror of Gregor Clegane, relief loosened his tongue quite nicely and they discussed all manner of things that night, from the man's size and how he fought, to less crucial matters. Time passed quickly, here in his cell. He discovered his new ally had a penchant for a strange food he called Ramen, something not found in the Seven Kingdoms or even Essos for that matter, a fact he bemoaned quite loudly and quite often.

Moreover, he'd brought wine.

Glorious, glorious wine! He'd never been so thirsty in his life.

He downed half of it before he realized it and was well on his way to getting roaring drunk before the blond spoke.

"Careful now," his companion warned as the dwarf drank deeply of the wineskin, "Might be difficult to save you if you drown yourself."

Hmm. Sellsword had a point there. Reluctantly, Tyrion relinquished the skin to the floor, if only temporarily. Something told him he'd need every ounce of his wits on the morn; it wouldn't do to have them dulled by drink. Ugh. To think the day would come when he willingly forsook wine! Was the world coming to an end? In the end he reasoned if he couldn't drink, he could at least wring a few answers out of his newfound ally.

"Where are you from?" he inquired, wiping his mouth.

Naruto granted him a gravely grin. "What's west of Westeros?"

...I...don't know," the dwarf admitted, shoulders rising in a small shrug. "That's where all the maps end."

Blue eyes danced in the dark. "There's a reason for that. My ancestors weren't all that fond of being discovered."

Tyrion did a double take, feeling the color drain from his face. "Are there more of you?" Gods help them if there were.

"Unlikely." an ugly spark of anger danced in his allies visible eye as he leaned against a damp wall. "My village...my people...destroyed ourselves long ago. It was an old war. A stupid war." the shadows shifted again, and he glimpsed gritted teeth in the gloom. "My world is ash; as far as I know, I'm the last of my kind. Even then I only wandered over to your side of the world by chance and that was by blind blood luck. Almost an age ago, thanks to that damn curse."

Ah. This seemed a raw subject for him. Still, curiosity prevailed. "A curse, you say? I'm sensing a story there."

In response, the blond stubbornly folded both arms before his chest and tore his gaze away.

"More than you know, dwarf. If you survive tomorrow I'll tell you...someday."

Silence reigned between them.

"If I have offended you, forgive me." Tyrion began warily, not wishing to alienate his only ally in this foul place, "I'm afraid too much drink has loosened my tongue-

Clenched knuckles slammed into rock to cut him off with a start, eliciting a harsh crack from the soiled surface as they struck. Were those cracks in the wall? Tyrion strained to catch them in the dull light of the dying torch as it continued to fade. Why, they were. What frightful strength that must've taken. Normal men couldn't slug stone without breaking their hand. Yet Naruto didn't so much as bat an eyelash. He merely punched the rocks again with a low growl, tearing great chunks of granite free from the wall.

Another beat of awkward tension trickled by.

"We could leave now, you know." Tyrion ventured awkwardly, for lack of anything better to say. "I suspect the guards won't be able to stand up to you."

"We could try." his host granted him a sour look. "I wouldn't recommend it. Your family will hound you to the ends of the earth if you leave now. Might get you sooner or later. Your choice. Then again," he hummed, "Your sister's like to try regardless. Shame, really. She looks so much like her mother...yet she's not half as clever. Too much venom."

"Wait." Tyrion perked up at this unexpected revelation, brows creasing. "You knew my mother?"

"Once." his guardian bit out. "I'll tell you all about if we make it through this."

...I think I'd like to live a bit longer, then." he decided reluctantly.

Naruto muttered something to himself in a foreign dialect and stubbornly shook himself as if to ward off whispers. "Good. Its better this way. If you want to survive, you'll need to make a statement tomorrow. A big one. Make your enemies second guess themselves. Make them so afraid to even think of crossing you, that they'll never make the attempt."

"And you're that statement, I suppose?"

"Aye."

Of course, Tyrion could've attempted an escape himself at any time; but back then, the likelihood seemed slim indeed. The dwarf would later discover that the man guarding his cell had been quite soundly knocked out and dosed with an inordinate amount of Milk of the Poppy by his visitor for good measure. Perhaps it would've been easier if they had; it certainly would've helped the two of them avoid all manner of the nasty entanglements that followed. But Tyrion didn't know that. Moreover he didn't want to escape; to flee now would've been tantamount to admitting guilt.

No, he wanted revenge. Vengeance, in the worst wary. His good name-such as it was-had been dragged through the mud by the people of King's Landing, besmirched and torn apart by everyone in his family save Jaime, and he was nearly made lame by the loss of his hand. Even those he held dear were lost to him, Bronn plainly refused to fight the Mountain outright, Podrick was no match for that big brute and Shae...

The little lord fought down a wince.

If the gods were good to him he might yet see her again, might be able to throw himself at her feet and beg her forgiveness; to explain why he'd done what he did. Unlikely. She'd taken their parting...poorly. Enough to testify against him at any rate. They seemed to have a cruel sense of humor these days. Then again, they'd sent this peculiar young man to his doorstep, so who could say? Ah, if only Jaime could see him now. Treating with a man of many faces. Or was he actually faceless man? If so he felt rather honored, all things considered. Their skills were legendary.

And then the topic turned to the very woman on his mind.

"Before we continue this little partnership of ours, I want to ask something." without warning Naruto abruptly dropped down on his haunches, considering him as a cat might an amusing mouse. "Is there anyone you care about in King's Landing? Anyone at all beside your brother? No I'm not asking about your squire or the bloody sellsword. They can take care of themselves." he scooted closer, a rare look of concern crossing his once stoic countenance. "I'm asking because if this goes south, we'll have to leave in a hurry. And it might still turn sour, regardless."

Now it was Tyrion's turn to twitch, flinching as the blond's words tore open an old wound.

"I had someone." he admitted, nearly spitting the words. "She betrayed me."

Tan ears twitched. "Why?"

Tyrion told him. He wasn't sure why; but he did anyway. Words poured out of him before he could think to hold them back. Minutes trickled by, evolving into an hour, and still his guest didn't interrupt. Indeed, for all of his earlier outburst the Man of Many Faces listened quietly. Intently, even. And once he'd finished he reared back...

"I'm sorry for this." He apologized in advance.

"Wait," Tyrion blanched, "Sorry for what?"

...and he stomped on his foot.

The blow was decidedly gentle given the strength he'd displayed earlier, but it made Tyrion yelp and jerk back all the same.

"Ow!" he hissed, clutching his aching boot, "What was that for?!"

"For being stupid, that's what!" Naruto's voice rose in rebuke, and for a moment, just a moment, those cerulean orbs burned red in the torchlight. "If you wanted your woman to leave that badly then you should've just knocked her out and thrown her on a boat to Braavos. No? Didn't want to hurt her? Bah!" Noting the dwarf's disgruntled expression, he pressed the point ruthlessly. "For crying out loud, you could've drugged her then and spared yourself the misery! Instead, you decided to break her heart. Shatter it, into a thousand pieces. No wonder she turned against you!"

"That's not-

"Listen to me, you!" In an attempt to hide his silent shame Tyrion tried to turn away, but Naruto would have none of it. His hand snaked out and seized him by the chin, forcing him to look back. "You loved her, I think." he murmured. "She likely loved you. And then...you hurt her." his eyes gleamed in silent understanding. "Badly. So she decided to hurt you back the only way she knew how. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I'm sure she regrets her actions just as much as you."

"I'll admit, I didn't think that through." grimacing, he turned his head away on a sigh. "Not that it matters. Somehow I doubt I'll be seeing her again. She's likely left King's Landing by now."

Those blue eyes hardened with a fleeting hint of something but he didn't respond.

The man knows about her, Tyrion thought. All the wine in the world wouldn't force it from him. Perhaps he knew where Shae was now, perhaps he had an inkling of things Perhaps it was the drink loosening his tongue, but wounded dwarf found himself curious all the same.

"That skill of yours...just how good are you with it?" when this remark earned him a puzzled look, he hastened to elaborate, "Can you take on any face? Any form? Living or dead?"

"I'm no faceless man, if that's what you're asking." His ally's whiskered visage quirked in a small smile as he leaned back in the torchlight, leaving the shadows to run ebony fingers across his face like a lover's caress. "I admire their craft, but mine is...different. Less subtle.

"Different how?"

With an annoyed tut the young man stood, snatched the wine from him, and vanished in another plume of smoke.

To his great shame, when it faded, he found himself face to face with none other than Catelyn Stark. "She" pulled the stopper from the bottle back and drank deeply.

"Does this answer your question?" she quirked an eyebrow. Gods, it was even her voice and it brought such shame to him to see a dead woman staring back at him. How did he do that?

Tyrion raised his arms with a rueful laugh. "My first still stands."

Another haze of white smoke greeted him and the wineskin sailed back through at him. He caught it with a rueful smile as his host continued their lesson.

"I have to see them at least a handful of times." Another plume, and he found himself gazing up at Dothraki savage bearing a great braid. "Know what they look like, you know? Study their habits, appearance, style of dress, that sort of thing. Otherwise any impersonation on my part would be a shoddy one and it wouldn't take." Naruto paused then, momentarily waving his hand over the torch and its fading flame. Momentarily, the dying light flared at his touch, lending a brief bolt of light to the cell.

He was still gazing into the flames when he spoke.

"Some are easier than most." as if to elaborate this very point he surrounded himself with smoke and shifted shapes yet again, taking on the guise of an alarmingly fat man with green eyes and thinning golden hair whom he suspected might have been his grandfather, Tytos Lannister. That wrinkled visage creased in a smile and he weaved his hands together again to revert to his true form. "See your brother for example; I know his speech patterns well enough, but I didn't know he'd lost a hand, which left me with a dated image of him."

"And now that you know?" Tyrion pressed, a seed of an idea taking root in his mind.

Another snap and Petyr Baelish beamed back at him, bounding on the balls of his feet like an eager child. Bloody uncanny.

"I can't become anything terribly large for more than five minutes at most unless I know every aspect of it," he spun away to pace the cell in a storm of silk, it lent the scheming man a positively savage countenance. He'd never look at Littlefinger the same way ever again. "Even then my bones will start to break from the strain. So if you're hoping for a dragon to burn the Mountain, I'm afraid you're out of luck. I haven't even SEEN what one looks like in this world. But aye, that's the long and short of it."

"Fascinating." Could this actually work? He needed to know more. "How well do you know the noble families of Westeros?"

Pearly white teeth flashed back at him and he found himself face to face with a very familiar face indeed.

"I've seen my fair share, my lord." the whiskered warrior drawled, smirking as he took on Robb Stark's likeness, much to Tyrion's chagrin. The chaos he could cause with such a face, if he had only the will. "I've been all over Westeros and across the Narrow Sea. Why? Have something in mind?"

With that, the seed spread it roots and Tyrion caught himself smiling.

"I'd like to give the good people of King's Landing a scare." he answer with a grim grin. "What say you? Up for a little deception?"

"Deception, you say?" The Man of Many Faces snapped back to his true visage and tilted his head at him, akin to a curious fox. "You're talking about a prank, aren't you? Count me in. Its been ages." A small wistful smile plucked at his face and those deep blue eyes drifted shut as he experienced a particularly poignant memory. "Ohhh the stories I could tell you. Ask me about the four faces sometime."

Tyrion's mind whirled in confusion. "I...beg your pardon?"

Naruto laughed, not at him, but at some jape the lordling didn't understand.

"I'll tell you later, little lord." the blond beamed. "I'm a ninja. Tricks are our bread and butter. We live for them."

A dark silence swelled between the two man, exile and dwarf alike. Eventually, the latter told him of what he intended. Naruto suggested something better. Now it was Tyrion's turn to listen, and though he found the boy's plan audacious, a brief demonstration put his fears to ease. The Man of Many Faces possessed many skills it seemed; changing his appearance was but the least of them compared to this. A Man of Many faces indeed. He hadn't thought him capable of such a skill.

A disbelieving laugh rose in the cell.

It was not a pleasant sound; it rather resembled the sound of a mutt, a stray dog once loyal to its kin, that had been kicked one too many times. A harsh bark of disbelief, mixed with delight. Truly, the gods had a foul sense of humor. To deliver such a man to his doorstep was one thing, but this...this could change the world. How many more could he make? Hundreds? Thousands? A Man of Many Faces indeed! He hadn't expected to take the title quite so literally!

"To living, then!" he raised the wineskin high as the last of the light guttered out. "And making fools of men." Countless arms rose in the cell to join him, dozens of blue-red eyes gleaming back at him in the dark.

The Men of Many Faces each granted him a grim grin.

They were all teeth. Like a shark.

And the little lord laughed.

"Shall we begin?"

(...0o0o0...)

Later that evening, Kings Landing was paid a visit by the ghosts of their past.

From the greatest lord to the lowest lying whore, half the city suffered, caught deep in the throes of a nightmare made real. Or was it a dream? Come morning, many men and women would swear they'd been visited by dearly departed and left with fond words. Others claimed they'd seen their worst enemies brought back from the dead. Still more would lie and claim they'd suffered naught at all, their eyes hiding horrible secrets they'd thought long forgotten. Black magic they called it, a trick of the moon, foul sorcery, dark dreams, all these things and more. Strangely enough a handful were spared this torment, the Kingslayer and the Red Viper chief among them.

One might dismiss it as a bad dream. Two, a coincidence perhaps.

Ah, but three of them? Four? Five? Six?

Dozens?

Even Tywin Lannister was not immune to these depredations.

Try as he might he couldn't wake from them. Even all his mettle, all his will, he found himself tormented.

You've ruined us, they said. They haunted his every step, condemning him for his every sin, every perceived slight. Father roared at him and struck as he'd never done before. Ruin! Ruined! You'll bring about the death of our house! Aerys cackled at him, running those ghastly unkempt fingernails over his face. Traitor. Oathbreaker. the madman rasped at him. Man without honor. I should've burned you with the rest. But perhaps worst of all was Joanna. He had not dreamnt of her in decades since her death yet now her half-decayed face spit at him, her body clad in rotten finery as she raged at him.

You're going to kill our son, Tywin! Her wails rattled him to his very bones. My boy, our boy, our littlest boy!

One such "visit" would not break the Lord of Casterly Rock, even when he thrashed out of bed and glimpse one of those so-called ghosts for himself. He was built of sterner stuff, more than most men. He did not believe in magic. Snarks and grumpkins he called them. What did he have to fear from the ghosts of his past? But a single crack etched itself in his stony heart nevertheless. He did not sleep that night, nor did many.

It was the work of a single man.

A single army unto himself.

A Man of Many Faces.

(...0o0o0...)

They came for him at dawn.

Scarce had the sun risen than two guards burst into Tyrion's cell and dragged him from his bed with all the subtlety of a raging storm. Jolted from fitful slumber, the dwarf feared the events of last night had been just that; a dream. It was only the drying taste of fine wine on his tongue and a faint scrap of paper tucked into his sleeve that reassured him otherwise. He had time enough to glimpse it-and conveniently stash it up his sleeve before his would-be executioners seized a' hold of him and frog-marched him from the dark cell that had been his home and into daylight. He glimpsed two words written on worn paper.

"Be ready."

~N.

Say what you will about the gold cloaks and their ineptitude, but Cersei clearly had most of the city guard wrapped around her finger, perhaps even tighter than her own Lannister guards served. These men moved when she told them to move, jumped as high as she willed them. Poor sods likely held their piss until she released them to at that.

Ha! It almost made him laugh.

But there was no time for japes and soon enough he was let down to the bay; to death and doom, or freedom and finery. It would be one or the other, no mistake. The crowd was restless and made bloodthirsty by the long wait. They howled when they say him; lords and ladies alike calling out for his "twisted little head" as the guards led him down the stairs, through the square to his final destination. He'd have a prime view of the battle to come, but it was there that he found an unlikely ally awaiting him in the shade.

"Aha!" a rich, exultant voice greeted him as he shuffled near. "There you are. I was beginning to wonder when you'd arrive."

Prince Oberyn Martell reclined languidly beneath a golden canopy with all the coiled tension of an angry viper, paramour curled around one hand, a fistful of grapes clutched in the other as a handmaiden in a flowing blue dress attended them. She tucked her head aside but Tyrion paid her little mind. One had but to glimpse the Dornishman's face to know his mood and the prince was positively seething. His attire was not much changed since they'd last spoke at the Purple Wedding, though Ellaria had thankfully rid herself of that ghastly headdress she'd worn since then. A brief, bitter flash of joy snapped through Tyrion as he recalled his nephew's untimely death, despite the trouble it had caused him in the long run.

Regardless of today's outcome, the Seven Kingdoms were better off without that little twat on the throne. Of that much he was certain.

It almost made him want to find the poisoner and shake their hand. Almost.

He was less certain, however, of the Red Viper's intentions.

"Why are you here?"

"Word has it you found yourself quite the capable champion." the Prince of Dorne purred, dropping a grape into his mouth. "A man brave enough to face the Mountain? I wanted to see him for myself."

"He found me." the words sounded like a lame duck, even to Tyrion's own ears.

Bright eyes flashed with intrigue. "Did he now? And where is he, this champion of yours?"

Ah, of course.

Oberyn loathed Tywin Lannister with a bitter and burning passion born of equal parts grief and hate, but he despised Gregor Clegane all the more. Any chance to see that brute suffer would be one he eagerly indulged in with vigor. Still he seemed...agitated today, moreso than usual. A tiny voice in the back of his head wondered what might have happened had the viper declared for him as his champion. The prince was said to be nigh-on unstoppable with a spear. But no...after what he'd seen last night...he rather liked his chances with the Man of Many Faces.

Before he could think to defend his champion's honor Ellaria perked up and smiled cheekily. "Is that him over there?"

Sure enough he glimpsed a hooded figure in dark boiled leather armor striding in their direction with lazy grace. Very light armor. Was he going to fight the Mountain like that? Light armor was all well and good one sought to move about the battlefield quickly, but it provided precious little protect against an ax or a greastword-the latter of which Clegane was known to use. A lone arm rose to greet them as he drifted across the yard. His very presence set the crowd alight with curiosity,

Tyrion grimaced up at him. "You're late."

And so the Man of Many Faces was. He even apologized for it.

"Sorry about that," was that blood on his armor and dagger? Where had he been? "I was...delayed."

His grimace grew deeper still.

"An assassin?"

"Nope. Kingsguard." the blond informed him with a chipper smile as he idly continued to clean his weapon. "Meryn Trant. I wasn't aware I rated such an esteemed killer. How kind." his voice dripped with derision at the mere mention of the known abuser. Offered me a heavy bag of gold to convince me this was a fool's errand; said the services of some Flea-Bottom cutthroat would be better spent, and I quote: "in the service of Her Grace" that I should give up and let you die. He wouldn't let me pass and when I did, he drew his sword. So I cut his throat and let him bleed out in an alley somewhere. Seems your sister doesn't much like the idea of someone fighting for you."

"Well," he managed a weak smile, "Its good to know you can't be bought. If I make it through this day, I'll see you richly rewarded." he swore.

"Hmm. Lannisters pay their debts." that hooded head bobbed. "But you are not a Lannister; thus, you owe me nothing."

"You keep saying that," the dwarf gave a chagrined sigh. "I'm beginning to think you know something I don't."

Oberyn boomed a laugh, a smile blooming on his face.

"I thought that might have been you, my friend." he hummed, rising from his seat to greet him. "Up to your old tricks again, I see?"

Blue eyes twinkled merrily beneath the hood. "I thought you'd be here."

"Ha!" the prince flung up his arms. "Where else would I be?!"

Ellaria shifted on the cushion as they spoke, and belatedly the dwarf realized she'd kept her amber robe open against the heat of the King's Landing. Once more her handmaiden stole another glance their way, but her face was gone again before he had a chance to speak with her, tucked into a pale blue shawl eve as Tyrion tried to catch a glimpse. Who was the girl? Why did she keep looking at him?

"Oh, take off that damn thing and stop hiding already." Naruto reached out and in a flash of blue fabric, her identlty was revealed.

Fair of face and dark of hair he recognized her immediately, though her face cringed away in shame.

"Shae...?!"

Her eyes widened. Her lip trembled. Her entire body shook, as though she might fly apart at any moment. As soon as he said her name, she could hold herself together no longer.

"My Lion!"

Then she flew at him.

Suspicion and paranoia had Tyrion nearly jerking back, half-expecting an attack when she lunged at him; a knife in the heart, or a dagger to his throat. It never came. Instead she buried her head into his shoulder with all the sorrow of a wailing widow and seized him in an iron embrace, blubbering and weeping, begging for his forgiveness for all she'd said and done. At first he stiffened in her grasp, understandably loathe to trust her. A minute passed. Then another. Another still. Yet even when her tears dried, she made no move to release him. Such a startling change of pace-the dwarf didn't know what to make of it, of her, of anything. He could scarce get a word in edgewise, such was the intensity with which she railed at him. sorrow. Awkwardly, his small arms rose to pat her back.

Belatedly, he glimpsed the Man of Many Faces gazing back at him and recalled the words he'd spoken last night.

...thank you."

Naruto merely inclined his head and stepped forward.

With a ceremonious fanfare of drums and trumpets, Ser Gregor Clegane strode into view and all joy fled from Tyrion like a craven at the battlefield. His very presence seemed to suck the sound from the air. The man was even larger than he remembered. He didn't want to die. Not here. Not now. Not with Shae in his arms, not with Father and his lying slut of a sister glaring bloody red daggers at him from the pavilion. Doubtless they saw their motley little band-saw Shae-and were even now thinking of ways to hurt him. Her. No. Not now. Not ever. Never again. He wanted her to live gods damnit, consequences be damned.

"You're going to fight that?" Ellaria whimpered, flinching back from the sight.

Oberyn chuckled anew. "No my dear, he's going to kill that."

There it was, that voice; a cold note freezing over any such warmth he might've possessed.

One horn blast followed his words and Grand Maester Pycelle limped out into the arena, bones creaking with every step.

"In the sight of gods and men, we gather to ascertain the guilt or innocence of this man...Tyrion Lannister." he doddered on at a snail's pace, heedless of the crowd's impatience. "May the Mother...grant him mercy. May the Father...grant them such justice as they deserve. May the Warrior...guide the hand of-

A contemptible gesture from Tywin himself spurred a second blast of the horn and silenced the doddering maester. He scurried away, quickly with a bow-a white rat fleeing the presence of predators far larger and far more deadly than he-and the combatants took their place.

"You, there. Reveal yourself." his lord father's voice cracked like a whip as Naruto stepped out to meet the Mountain. "I'll not have you hiding behind a mask."

The blond tilted his head, considered, shrugged, and reluctantly did as he was bade.

Beaming, he threw back the cloak and revealed his "face" to the world.

Tyrion sucked in a sharp breath.

He'd expected Naruto take on the appearance of another of course; given the blond's propensity for disguising himself, he'd been well-prepared for surprises. He'd fully expected to find the face of Eddard Stark or some other dead lord lurking under that cowl. Possibly some Dothraki savage. After all, it served little purpose if the whole of King's Landing knew Naruto's true identity. That wouldn't do at all. No doubt his sweet sister would be howling for his head the moment the Mountain toppled. If he toppled. Tyrion fought down a grimace and glanced back at Clegane, fighting down a shudder as he watched him heft that bastard sword as though it were naught but a feather on his shoulder.

Gods that one was big. Could he take him?

Once the battle was concluded-assuming he survived-the three of them would slip away in the confusion. And the world would be haunted by the notion that dead men walked the streets of Kings Landing. If things went well and according to plan, they'd stay awhile yet to revel in the chaos. If not...well. He'd heard Essos was lovely this time of year.

Instead when the hood flew away, he found a face he didn't know.

A fresh face with pale skin, dark curly hair, and darker eyes.

Seven hells! Who was that supposed to be?

"Why, hello, lords and ladies of Westeros!" his pleasant voice rang out across the arena in a raucous laugh as he raised his arms and faced the crowd, every word, oozing with sardonic smarm and charm. "So nice to meet you all. I have been looking forward to this day for...well!" he paused, head bobbing in thought. "Lets just say quite some time." when a ripple of confusion answered him, he greeted them with an eerie smile. "Shall we get on with it then? The Mountain isn't going to flay himself now, is he?"

There it was, the hint dropped for all to hear.

Oberyn planted a hand over his mouth to stifle his own laughter.

Looking back, Tyrion had no way of knowing that the Man of Many Faces had disguised himself as one Ramsay Bolton.

In hindsight he would realize made a cruel sort of sense; by taking the face of the son of the new Warden of the North, he had deliberately destabilized the realm without inspiring false hope in the those still loyal to House Stark. Had he taken on the guise of a certain Khal, the Dragon Queen across the Narrow Sea would've been enraged to hear of it. Regardless of the outcome, word would get out. Perhaps even Varys might be taken in by it...or allow the lie to fester like an open wound. Hmm. Likely the latter. Instead he'd chosen the face of someone meant to stir the pot that was King's Landing.

And he played the part viciously.

"And who are you?" his lord father demanded.

"Roose Bolton sends his regards, m'lord." The Man of Many Faces hummed, sketching a low bow that was too short by half. "He regrets that he couldn't be here to fight himself, but the Warden of the North has far more important matters to attend than an old lion past his prime."

The world went silent and a cold chill encapsulated the stands.

Even Tyrion flinched from the insult.

He had only ever once seen Tywin that angry before; and he never cared to speak of that horrible moment again. All that frigid fury fell upon the Many of Many Faces now. Yet he played his part brilliant, that sly smile never once wavering in the face of the Warden's towering fury. It only grew when the Lord of Casterly Rock took his seat and waved a hand to commence the slaughter. Oh, there would be a reckoning for this, Tyrion knew, but perhaps that was the point. Ah, but the bout had begun and he found his attention torn elsewhere as the men circled one another.

Gregor Clegane laughed.

"You're small. Tiny. I'll crush you."

Naruto turned to face him, rounding on the man with a pleased purr.

"Will you, now?" He cocked his head to the right, heedless of the disguise. "Do you know who I am?"

Credit where it was due, Clegane was fast. Very fast. Naruto was still speaking when he surged forward.

"Some dead man!"

A booted foot shout outward to meet his charge, cannoning into the giant's chest to send him staggering backward.

"I know you, Gregor Clegane. Rapist. Murderer. Defiler. You're quite a piece of work." the exchange startled off amicably enough, but within moments his once-pleasant voice oozed with a venom that would've put the Red Viper himself to shame, such was their heat. "No no, you don't know me. But I know you, and all your deepest, darkest secrets."

Something in those words must've set the larger man off; because he lunged again, and with surprising speed for a man of that size.

"We've all heard the stories, have we not? Gregor Clegane. The Mountain Who Rides! Quite the title." Rather than meed his charge head on, the whiskered warrior stepped aside, allowing his quarry to bull past like a wild animal. Cold steel flashed red in the sunlight and a dagger flicked out, swatting the helmet from his head to send him stumbling away. "You dashed an infant's head against a wall like an egg. Their head." in the roaring lunge that followed, the whiskered warrior stepped under the giant's wild swing and casually struck him in the face with a stinging backhand, rapping his open palm across the larger man. "Then you throttled a little girl hiding under her bed. A child. Shame."

"Shut up!" the Mountain roared, to no avail.

"You raped a woman and made her watch. Shame." when the giant cut out at his legs the blond retaliated in the most unorthodox of fashion; he simply stomped on it, bringing a steel-shod boot down to trap the blade against the floor. "Then you killed her too." leaning over the entrapped sword, he bared his teeth in a low hiss and slammed his forehead into the larger man's skull. "Ellia Martell. Sister to Oberyn Martell. You raped her. Murdered her. Killed her children."

"Raaargh!"

He caught the clumsy punch and pushed Clegane away as though he were naught but a naughty child. Again he stepped in and again a red dagger flicked out quick as lighting. This time he aimed for the face. For the left eye even now glowering at him, and the cheek below it. This time the Mountain's scream was one of pain, not rage, as he struggled to hold his face together.

"Who gave the order?" the dagger parted a seam in his thigh, hobbling him. "Confess."

Prince Oberyn burst up from his seat, grinning like a madman. "Yes!"

"You...I'll kill you...crush your skull!"

"Will you now?" Taut knuckles snapped upward into Clegane's windpipe, turning his stumbling charge him into a reeling wheeze. "You cannot crush what you cannot catch."

"Words, words, words!" Foam frothed at the larger man's mouth. "Too many words! Stop talking! Stand and fight...!"

His opponent merely beckoned him forward, luring the larger man in.

Then he blitzed him.

In the coming days the bards would sing of this day; perhaps given time, Tyrion would even remember some of them. For now he was too preoccupied by the dance that followed. One couldn't rightly call it a fight at that; Gregor struck about himself wildly with his greatsword, yet for every swing three more cuts bloomed on his face. That deadly bar of steel screamed southward but the whiskered warrior simply swayed three steps to the right and allowed the blade to strike the stone with sonorous clang. Metal blurred in his hand, seeking the joints in the Mountain's mighty armor. Death by a thousand cuts.

Then the knife found its sheathe between Gregor's legs-through his armor!-and the world gasped.

Blood sluiced to the floor as Naruto wrenched the blade free. Every male fought down a collective wince. Shae and Ellaria turned their heads into their lovers shoulders. Not Clegane. The man yowled like a wild animal-like a dog-and dropped to his knees. Unwise, given his opponent's viciousness. Another dagger ripped through his face and he convulsed, swinging wildly. Until said dagger found his arm.

"Bastard...!"

"Confess." that implacable visage gaze down at him, like a stony shore.

"Never!" Piggish eyes glared up at him, wildly defiant.

"Then you won't be needing this."

Naruto hacked his nose off and the words pitched into a reedy whine. Distantly, Tyrion heard Prince Oberyn roar his approval.

"Ellia Martell," the giant rasped, wheezing like a whale, "'I... did it...I killed her children and made her watch. Then I... smashed her head in...LIKE THIS!"

There it was, one final, desperate grab, a wild attempt to pin the blond to the floor and squeeze the life out of him. The Man of Many Faces realized his peril and jerked backwards, leaving the Mountain to crumble to the floor like the great avalanche he was, leaving those large, bloodied fingers to grasp at sundered stone.

Then he stepped in and the daggers danced anew.

One screamed down and took an ear, drawing another snarl. "And who gave the order?!"

...Tywin...!" the word was a howl. "Tywin Lannister!"

And the world rippled.

Oberyn threw his arms out and roared with triumph, but there was a bitter edge to his smile, because he'd heard Clegane's confession. They all had. Tyrion nearly guffawed. If Dorne didn't have reason enough to declare war before, they certainly did now.

Naruto's face creased in a smile through his disguise. "Good boy."

Then, in a towering show of fury, he did exactly what Clegane had tried to do unto him.

"And for being such a good boy...

Forcing the wounded warrior onto his back, the blond mounted him and seized him by the skull, pressing both thumbs against his eye sockets and the eyeballs within. Giant hands pawed at his face to no avail; he had his prize now and would not be denied. Even as thick fingers weakened by wounds clawed feebly at his face he found purchase and ground his fingers into the larger man's eyes. Someone in the crowd shrieked, but he didn't relent, biting down as Gregor roared out at him. That roar warping into a scream as the pressure readily intensified, the skull breaking beneath his grasp...until he squeezed harder.

An awful, high shriek gave answer.

...you can die now." The Man of Many Faces snarled. "Aren't I generous?"

"Enough of this farce!" a thunderous voice boomed. "He's beaten! Stop this nonsense at once!"

Perhaps realizing what was about to happen, Tywin had risen from his seat, and Cersei with him. Or perhaps he just didn't want to lose such a useful dog. Regardless, he'd acted too late to save the man. Even Oberyn and Ellaria were standing now, watching with rapt attention as the Mountain writhed and begged the gods for mercy as "Ramsay" continued to crush his face. None gave answer, nor did they intervene on Clegane's behalf. And why would they? The gods were cunts. Tyrion felt a small, spiteful satisfaction at the horror etched in his sweet sister's face. Make an impression, Naruto said. He was about to do that all that and more.

Naruto's sole concession was a scoff. "I think...not."

All at once, the Mountain's skull detonated in a viciously visceral spray.

A distant part of Tyrion was vaguely aware of Shae reeling and clutching at his hand, of the shrieks that followed when Clegane's head exploded. The screams of the lords and ladies alike tore through the arena in a great crashing wave as bloody viscera spattered the arena. Some retched. Others fainted outright. He cared naught for them. He only had eyes for his family. Jaime looked horrified, yet delighted by this victory; because Tyrion would live. Cersei's mouth was torn somewhere between a snarl or a grimace at being denied her "vengeance", and as for Tywin...

Oh dear, the Warden of the West was positively livid.

To the untrained eye one might think Tywin Lannister was perfectly calm as he gazed down at him. Tyrion knew better. It was the lack of visible emotion on his father's face that foretold the coming storm; a howling fury that would scour everyone and everything clean. There it was again. He'd only ever been on the receiving end of that fury once before in his youth. Once had been more than enough for him and poor, poor Tysha. Under normal circumstances, Tyrion might've balked and tried to hide from his father's wrath. He almost wondered if the old lion would simply have them killed just to remove this blot on his reputation.

But now? At this very moment?

He couldn't resist rubbing salt in the wound.

Perhaps that was petty of him; perhaps he was simply feeling overly bold as the Man of Many Faces-still bloodied from his brutality-calmly climbed off Clegane's corpse and waltzed across the arena to his side. A statement indeed, he mused darkly. The world would never forget this. Tywin certainly wouldn't. He'd likely have a bounty put out on the Boltons before nightfall, and ravens flying soon after that. Hopefully the Man would change his face somewhere in the interim. Ah, but Naruto was beside him now and he found his cares slipping away in the fog of joyous elation.

Sneering at his lord father, the dwarf sketched a shallow bow.

"I believe the gods have spoken, Father." he all but spat the word. "I am innocent."

From that single proud declaration, this strange twist of fate, the world of Westeros changed forever.

A/N: And so the Mountain falls.

I know some people might not be happy with Naruto disguising himself as Ramsay Bolton, but there was a plan behind it. Our boy's trying to sow chaos and destabilize the realm-much like a certain slimy snake-but unlike Littlefinger, he's chosen a more...direct method. I think I captured the bastard's personality quite well. He's...one of the few characters who genuinely spooks me a little. Few can hope to inspire fear like Ramsay.

Moreoever, he made Gregor Clegane confess, in full view of the lords and ladies of Kings Landing. Now the Boltons are going to suffer. And none shall weep for them.

Its only natural that Naruto would have good ties to Dorne...he's just as much a free spirit as them, when it comes down to it.

But our boy and Tyrion aren't done yet, and there will be much more chaos before this is done.

You thought this chapter was insane? Wait 'till the next one...!

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview!

(Previews!)

Oberyn whistled softly.

"Somehow, I never get used to that."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You've seen it a dozen times now."

"Ha! Even so!"

Tyrion sighed. "Surely a woman or two would-

"No." the tankard crunched down on the table, drawing a jolt from him. "No women. No men, either."

"What do you want, then?"

"To keep you alive." the ninja's words were muffled around his meal. "And to find an answer."

"An answer to what?" The dwarf's brow rose in mild confusion.

"Why I'm still alive."

"Would you have done it? Would you have kept your oath then?"

"You're a better man than me, doing what you did and not telling anyone. You saw evil, and you acted to prevent it." The Man of Many faces shrugged, sheathing his sword. "Sometimes wicked men must die for good men to live. That's how the world works. If I had been there, if I had seen what you saw," Something ugly flashed through those blue eyes, high and wild and so very bitter, "I'd have done the same."

Jaime actually blinked at that. How rare to meet someone who didn't judge him.

A hand clapped him on the back and then the whiskered warrior was past, striding into shadow.

"I wish you good fortune in the wars to come." his voice rippled in the dark. "Goodbye, Son of Tywin. We will not meet again."

"And who are you?"

The woman flashed Tyrion a small smile.

"I'm not him, if that's what you're wondering." she beamed with a careworn smile. "Your friend...needs someone to look after him every now and again. Lest he forget himself."

R&R~! =D