A/N: WARNING! This chapter is rated M for a reason! Ye be warned! Well, this IS Game of Thrones. That's warning enough.
I'm back from Game of Thrones burnout. That last season really did massacre my inspiration.
House of the Dragon brought it back, and its here to stay.
Trying to shake the rust off and update other things, as it were...despite the site failing.
I'll say it plain, if this email opt-in business with the Fanfiction site doesn't get resolved soon, I'm probably going to retire. The app helps for some, for others it doesn't. It HURTS to say that; but with this new system, reviews and readers have dropped to an all time low, authors are leaving the site in droves, and it feels like the end of an era.
If you're not already aware of it, ever since the 16th of November, you now have to turn ON your email alerts in account settings-MAKE SURE YOU CLICK SAVE SETTINGS!-else you won't be notified when anyone updates. No alerts, no email, no nothing. Apparently that's a thing we all have to do every ninety days or so, now. Alas, not many are aware of it...which is a problem. As things stand this new "fix" as it were, has cut everyone's viewership/reviewers in half because most folks don't know about it. Authors are leaving/quitting because of this.
Sometimes opting in works. Sometimes it doesn't. Really depends. Hopefully the devs can fix tweak/update this system before everyone leaves.
As ever, the Embers rule still persists. If folks don't like this story? Well...it'll remain, but I'll not continue it. I can't bear to write something no one likes. That's no joke. Holidays are here and they keep me horridly busy. So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do! I'm literally working every day now, so I have less and less time to write. Daily updates might...slow down in the interim, but I know that would upset a lot of people.
Only three questions this time.
Q: You've been slowing down with the updates old man. What happened to an update everyday? Giving up already?
A: Watch. Your. Tone. Life's been happening to this weary old man. I've survived it, and a thousand other tribulations beside. At the end of the day I'm only human. Be that as it may I am TRYING to get back to an update everyday, but Slifer's birthday is coming up and deserves some time to relax, Dylan is stuck with our So I'm A Spider/Naruto crossover an, I'm fairly certain Ronin passed away due to an illness he mentioned. Dark beta's for me on occasion. My team isn't what it used to be.
On another note, you'll be happy to know that Foxfire and my other GOT related stories will be updated -monthly!- in February. Maybe even weekly if the reviews for Foxfire keep rocketing up the way they are...
Q: The Lannisters haven't suffered near enough at Naruto's hands. They're getting off easy.
A: Are they? Are they really?
Q: 'Hol up, wait a minute. Are you implying Tyrion is-
A: SHHHHHHH!
Alright, I think I've kept you long enough. Hopefully this chapter brings a smile to your face.
As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. Not a wit or a one! Really, they're just tributes...
As ever, the chapter title stems from "Rains of Castamere" and ohhhh does it fit in this chapter.
"Do you know me? No. No, no, no. You may think you do, but you do not.
Consider this. I have as many faces as there are names in the world, as many disguises as there are ways to die...
I have taken more lives than there stars in the sky! The Stranger himself whimpers when I whistle. And you say you know me. Ha! You know nothing!
~A Man of Many Faces.
In a Coat of Gold
"You're leaving?"
"We are leaving." Naruto tugged on his trousers with a grunt, emphasizing the first word as Arianne rolled over in their shared bed. "Tyrion and I. There's a difference."
"And you think to leave me behind." It was not a question. She already knew the answer.
Her drew his tunic over his head, refusing to look at her. "The road ahead will be long and dangerous enough for the two of us, let alone you."
"Hmm." she offered a noncommittal hum. ""Where will you go?"
Arianne watched the sun spill through the window and catch in his golden hair, seemingly setting it aflame. She always found it fascinating, how many faces he could wear, how many disguises he could create, yet at his core, remain the same person. Still the same man keeping the same promise after all these years. A shame. His true face was quite handsome and she rather enjoyed fucking him. All of him. Especially these "clones" of his. Gods, a girl could get lost in so many hands at the same time. They'd been at that for the better part of the morning now.
His hand touched hers, drawing her back to the pleasant reality in which she lived. "To Essos, for a time. Then to Mereen, if the tides are good."
Realization dawned and she perked up, eyes dancing. "To meet the Mother of Dragons!"
Naruto shrugged once. "Tyrion's curious about her."
"He has a right to be. We both know why."
The blond's jaw clicked shut.
...let him be." the words that followed were flat. Hollow, even. "He's resting with Shae, now. No need to wake him."
No, no, no. That wouldn't do. She'd seen that look of his many a time before in Dorne; nothing good came of it when he started brooding. Only one thing for it then.
So she stood, circled Naruto, and dropped her dress at his feet.
His eyes sparked again, raking over her hips, her dark skin, full breasts. Devouring every inch of her. She knew he found her attractive. Of course he did. She was the most beautiful woman in all of Dorne, bar none. Such was not a prideful boast. T'was simply the truth. The women of King's Landing had nothing on her and she knew it. So did he.
"I shall come with you," she declared, planting herself in his lap, pressing her lips to his.
"Arianne, no. That's not-ow. She bit his lip hard enough to cut him off. He sighed between kisses, but made no move to rebuff her. "I don't have any say in this, do I?"
"You do not." She tore off his trousers and pushed back onto the bed. "Now are you going to make me do all the work this time, or-ah!" laughter burst out of her as he grabbed her by the hips and tumbled, pinning her beneath him. "You could return with me to Dorne." She grinned up at him as they began to rut and tilted her head in time with the sway of their bodies, drawing his eyes to her slender neck. "You would be safe there."
"Safe, she says." He scoffed, bending down to kiss. "I'm not looking for safe. But I'm not leaving quietly, either.
"Oh? "She quirked a dark brow, her curiosity piqued once more him. "What do you intend?
...a parting gift for the Lannisters." He gave her a sidelong look. "Probably best you don't know what, exactly."
"You're going to mess with their heads, aren't you?"
His smile was the answer.
"That's one way to put it, I suppose...
"How do you intend to do it, then? A disguise?"
Naruto shook his head, making her all the more curious.
Then he kissed her and she thought no more of such things.
(.0.0.0.)
"Tywin...
The Lanister patriarch looked up from his letters.
A cold wind blew in from the window, a window he distinctly remembered latching some hours before.
"So you've come to torment me now, have you?" he scoffed into the silence. "What will it be this time? Sleight of hand? Smoke and mirrors?"
He was not afraid. Magic was not real. It did not exist. The dead would stay dead and that was that. Anyone who thought otherwise was a fool. His hand settled upon the dagger in his belt. If some assassin had come to kill him, he would not go quietly into the night. This old lion still had some fight in him.
And yet the shadows said nothing.
"Enough." He slammed both hands down on his writing desk. "Show yourself or I shall call for the guards."
...no," a familiar voice answered from the corner of the room. "You won't.
"Have you come to kill me, then?"
"Beloved," The shadows stirred. And she emerged. "Is that any way to treat your wife?"
His throat closed.
Joanna Lannister looked much as he remembered her. She'd not aged a day since her death. Even her birthing gown was the same, spattered with blood. He found himself taking a step forward despite himself-it was only a supreme effort of will that reigned him back in at the last moment. A shuddering breath stoked the anger in his chest. Firming his jaw, he willed himself to look the specter of the past -his past!- in the eye. Shamefully, it took nearly all his strength to do so, even ore to speak.
"...you are not real.
"Am I not?" she tutted softly. "You have but to say the word and I could be so."
She approached him slowly, bloody gown dragging across the floor. Strangely enough, Tywin found himself grateful for her lack of speed. Ghost or no, illusion or not, he didn't think he could blame himself to stab someone wearing her face. She...she should not be here. Could not be here. This was either some fever dream from the whine he had or he'd gone mad. Madder than Aerys. Regardless, it didn't change the facts.
"You are not real."
"No?" Swift fingers flitted out pinched his arm, drawing an startled noise from him. "Is that real enough for you?
Tywin balked at his arm for a startled moment and rubbed at his sleeve. "Why...why are you here?"
"You know why." that small, sad smile faced, replaced by a leonine scowl. "You tried to kill our boy, my boy! Oh, darling how could you...?"
'Rise above your emotions, Tywin. Be better. Do no let them master you.'
...he failed spectacularly. "Tyrion is no son of mine. You know this. He...he killed you."
Joanna stomped on his foot, as she always did when he made her cross. "Birthing him was not the cause of my death. Poor care from the Maester did that. But you!" Another pinch drew a growl from him, but she retreated half a step and slipped out his grsp when he tried to grab her. "You have no excuse for what you did, husband of mine." there it was again, that small sad smile tearing him to pieces. "I'm not best pleased with you."
"Enough of this farce!" His dagger tore free from its sheathe and thrust itself at her throat. "Begone!"
"I will not, dear husband." the specter shook her head and stood her ground. "Not until I've said what I have come to say."
"Then prove," Tywin forced himself swallowed thickly, quickly, to master the raging gamut of his emotions. "Prove yourself. Tell me something only she would know."
"Ever the cynic, even now." There it was, the same look he remembered so fondly. "What would you have me say? My last words, hmm?" her lips pursed into a thin, ghostly pale line as tears gathered. "Shall I describe the day we met? Or perhaps when we first met the time we snuck out to the coast of Casterly Rock, just the two of us, and laid-
His heart sank into his stomach. The first two he could excuse, dismiss even, but the latter...only he and she had ever known those words, or what followed.
...Joanna?"
"Now you see me at last." she shook her head. "But you didn't see him, did you? And our boy, our youngest boy," she ran a hand over her bloody gown, "How cruel you were to him...is it any wonder Tyrion turned out the way he did?"
Another jab at his conscience. "You died bringing him into this world. What would you have had me do?"
"Love him!" his dear dead wife flung up her arms, pale face shimmering in the moonlight. "Care for him! Not cast him aside while our son and daughter fuck themselves silly!"
There it was again, the ugly truth he didn't dare to consider. "No. They're not-
"They are, dearest!" A note of bitter, hysterical laughter tumbled from her lips, rife with despair. "Our legacy is a lie!"
She spoke just as he remembered and it hurt. Gods above, it hurt. "You cannot ask this of me. Not here. Not now!" he swept a hand across his desk, scattering the letters within. "Its too much! I am old, I am tired!"
...you are, aren't you?" she was no longer angry with him, just disappointed. "You've changed."
He couldn't bear it. Not that. Never that. It was the same look she'd worn after Aerys...no. He would not go down that road again. Not back to that dark place.
Instead he sought a different path. "Will you stay awhile?
"If the gods allow it." She granted him a small, sad smile. "The dead cannot linger long, my love." her vibrant eyes met his. Held them, now. "If you cannot bring yourself to love Tyrion, then let him go his own way. Even if you think he isn't yours. I will await your answer on the morrow. Say yes. Let him go. Do that and I am yours, forevermore. We can be together again, just as before...
Nonsense. The dead could not come back to life. There was no such power...surely?
Joanna stepped up and kissed his cheek. Her lips were cold as ice, the very touch of death itself.
He tried to grab her but his hands passed through so much mist. She was already gone.
A lone tear rolled from the corner of Tywin's eye.
(.0.0.0.)
"Why did you let me die, Mother?"
Cersei woke from fevered dreams to hear that silken voice, whispering in her ear.
Against her better judgement she rolled over in bed.
Mistake were made.
Joffrey's gaunt face stared back at her, dead as can be.
Cersei screamed. Screamed and screamed and screamed as she flung herself off the mattress, back hitting the wall in her haste to get away. Wrong! This was all wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! Her boy was hideous. His face pale, eyes bloodshot, but worse than that; decay had begun to set in. She could see her boy falling apart. Yet still he stared at her.
"Why did you let her kill me mother?
"Her?" she whimpered heart hammering in her chest, words a babble. "No, no, my sweet boy Tyrion killed you, you pointed-
"No, no, no." The thing wearing her son's visage laughed at her, causing more flesh to slough from his face. "You know who did. Ask yourself, who stood to gain the most from my death?"
When faced with such words, Cersei forced herself to do just that. Who indeed? The answer struck her like a slap in the face. "That little whore-
"No, mother." His good eye rolled. "Think harder. Because if you don't...
Before her very eyes, her son became something monstrous.
His jaw yawned wide, impossibly so, a low guttural noise coming from deep within his throat.
Joffrey lunged forward and sank his teeth into her neck.
Cersei woke screaming, utterly raving mad.
(.0.0.0.)
Naruto was smiling come breakfast the nest morning. Positively grinning from ear to ear.
Tyrion knew that smile. Knew it, feared, and likewise found himself baffled by it.
"Alright," he sighed, "What did you do, and to whom did you do it?"
His blond protector merely grinned even more. "Yes."
"That...doesn't answer my question."
"No, Tyrion." Came the answering chuckle. "It does not...
A/N: Aaaand there we go.
Gotta shake the rust off, don't mind me.
Once more, if this email opt-in business with the Fanfiction site doesn't get resolved soon, I'm probably going to retire. The app helps for some, for others it doesn't. It HURTS to say that; but with this new system, reviews and readers have dropped to an all time low, authors are leaving the site in droves, and it feels like the end of an era.
If you're not already aware of it, ever since the 16th of November, you now have to turn ON your email alerts in account settings-MAKE SURE YOU CLICK SAVE SETTINGS!-else you won't be notified when anyone updates. No alerts, no email, no nothing. Apparently that's a thing we all have to do every ninety days or so, now. Alas, not many are aware of it...which is a problem. As things stand this new "fix" as it were, has cut everyone's viewership/reviewers in half because most folks don't know about it. Authors are leaving/quitting because of this.
Sometimes opting in works. Sometimes it doesn't. Really depends. Hopefully the devs can fix tweak/update this system before everyone leaves.
As ever, the Embers rule still persists. If folks don't like this story? Well...it'll remain, but I'll not continue it. I can't bear to write something no one likes. That's no joke. Holidays are here and they keep me horridly busy. So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do! I'm literally working every day now, so I have less and less time to write. Daily updates might...slow down in the interim, but I know that would upset a lot of people.
The fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this story, and all others.
So In the Immortal Words of Atlas... ...Revieeew, Would Ya Kindly?
Next time: Or a Coat of Red.
Previews make a return!
(Previews)
"What do you propose?"
Naruto said nothing. He only smiled.
"Did anyone tell you have a terrifying smile? No? Because you do."
"Have you made your decision, my love?"
Tywin sighed. He had.
"Protecting him is more than a task. It is a promise. I don't break my promises.
"Hmm. So that's a dragon. I thought they'd be bigger."
"That's a frightfully large beast!
Still thought it'd be bigger."
...titles, titles and more titles. Right, that does it. Spanking the dragon queen."
Tyrion sputtered. "Surely you jest?"
Naruto walked up the steps.
R&R~!
=D