A/N: A man hast returned, as promised.

Update schedule might be a bit strange for the next few days; I'm working several doubles, almost back to back.

Ideally, that should mean more updates...provided I have the stamina. Hopefully. Despite my chest flaring up, I'm still getting back to updating Game of Thrones again.

As my fifteen year anniversary on this site draws ever nearer, I find myself reflecting on the little things in life. What was once a lazy pastime meant for me and a few friends really grew and evolved over time. There are days when I look back on the last fifteen years here and I wonder if anyone will remember me; if I made an impact, despite never making a single cent on any of these stories. Some days were happier than others, and some stories I enjoyed writing WAY too much; to the point where I'd stay up all night working on them.

And of course, there are times when I look to the future and wonder what will become of things when I'm gone.

Of course, I try not to dwell on the latter overmuch; I'm still alive and still writing. In an ideal world, I'd like to keep doing so for as long as I can. But old age is catching up to me and these days, the world is filled with so much madness and death. All this insanity around the world serves as a terrible example. Even before that, so many friends and fellow writers I once knew are gone, now. Will I still be here in twenty years? Ten? Five? Its a chilling thought. But for now, I'm still here, still writing.

No questions this time.

Q:...how old is Naruto in this story, exactly? He's implied that he's been around awhile, but we'd like an exact number. Because if you're implying what I think you're implying.

A: I've implied many things; chief being that he's lived for a terribly long time. This chapter finally puts a pin in that question...and the answer...well. It might surprise you.

Q: More chaos! More insanity! Blood for the blood god!

A: You'll have your wish.

Q: Please don't repeat the disasters of Season 7 and Season 8. We hates them!

A: Season Seven at least had some good moments, but the lads and I DESPISED how they dumbed down Tyrion. Don't get me started on the other characters. By the time Season Eight rolled around they were all going off making stupid decisions. Rewatching said seasons only hammered those points home. For one, what was the point of Jon knowing his true heritage? NONE. It was only used to cause undue drama between him and Daenerys. Don't get me started on all the other questionable decisions.

"Dany kinda forgot about the Iron Fleet," huh? Piss on that!

Sorry, just an old man ranting. Alright, I think I've kept you waiting long enough.

As ever, I own no quotes, references, themes, or memes. Not a wit or a one! They're tributes to legends far greater than I.

In keeping with traditions, each chapter title stems from "Rains of Castamere" and ohhhh does it fit in this chapter. To a T some might say.

Some shots are taken at Season 7-8 here, but lets face it, everyone's still raking those two over the coals these days...

"...I never claimed to be a good man. Only a man. But I did make a promise promise to keep him safe.

I like to think I've kept that promise. Protecting him is more than a task to me. You know that."

You say you fear dragons, Ser Davos. But you shouldn't. Oh, no. Not them.

Its the end you should be fearin'. And the one who brings it.

For the night is dark and full of terrors.

I should know. I'm one of them."

~The future.

Or a Coat of Red

Tywin gazed upon the ghost of his wife once more.

"Have you made your decision, my love?"

Tywin sighed. He had.

(.0.0.0.)

"You said we were going to Meereen."

"We are." Naruto nodded.

"This is Volantis."

"It is."

"..."

Tyrion took a brief breath to center himself. Then he exhaled and kept walking. Blast, he was going to be stubborn about this, wasn't he? He wouldn't expect any less of the Man of Many Faces. A pair of drunken braggarts bulled past as they hurried from one street to another, nearly knocking him down. Naruto clicked his tongue and casually cuffed both across the head for it. They went stumbling into a muddy gutter. Laughter arose from the smallfolk, none of whom lent a hand.

He was still getting used to that. The casual acts of violence from his protector on his behalf. It seemed the blond took his vows seriously, even now.

Woe to the man who actually tried to harm him; Naruto had already taken the hand of a pickpocket earlier today.

"Ah, here we are." he found a door and wrenched it open. "They'll be here. I can sense them."

Almost at once the stench of wine and perfume assailed Tyrion's nose. T'was a scent he knew well. Naruto stepped past him, wearing that rare smile of his; a grin that promised one of two things. Either he'd found what he was looking for, or someone was about to die. For the establishment's sake he prayed it was the former.

"Why are we in a brothel?" he cast a baleful look up at his unlikely ally. "Shae will kill me if she catches me here."

"Lucky for you she won't, then." he skirted a scantily-clad lass and waved aside another before she could approach him. "She's still in the carriage with Arianne and Varys. They'll be there when we get ack."

"Fair play," he allowed. "But why are we here and not with them?

"That's easy. We're looking for a bear."

Tyrion blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You're excused."

He made a beeline for a table and spoke to a rather tall, slender woman with long flowing scarlet hair. Not quite ginger, but as though she'd been kissed by fire itself. Money exchanged hands. She hooked a thumb over her shoulder and said something Tyrion didn't quite catch, but whatever it was drew a nod from Naruto nevertheless. The woman stood on the tips of her toes and pecked his cheek. He scoffed, made a shooing motion and she scarpered with a giggle. His peace said, the Man of Many Faces walked back his way, looking rather smug.

"Its done. They'll be here."

Tyrion squinted at him. "They?"

"You'll see. Follow." He led him to a table, snatched up a pitcher of ale from a passing serving girl and a pair of mugs besides. Claiming the leftmost seat -the chair that better allowed him to watch the door- he thumped the latter down and began to pour with the former.

"Drink."

"I shouldn't-

"Drink." Naruto slammed it down. "We'll be waiting for a bit."

Drink he did.

Somewhere between his first and third, the wine loosened Tyrion's tongue. "I still can't believe that worked."

"What's not to believe?" Naruto tugged a curtain aside. "I said I'd get you to safety, and I did. Did you think I wouldn't?"

"Frankly, yes." he waved to a serving girl for more wine. "I could've gone without being stuffed in a barrel."

Blue eyes gleamed at him. "Had to make sure your sister's spies didn't see you. And they didn't."

"Hrrmph." Tyrion grunted. "That didn't make the experience any less unpleasant."

"You're a clever one, you know that? Almost as clever as you think you are."

"Its what I do." he raised his mug, to which the blond reached across the table and clinked it against his. "I drink and I know things."

Now it was Naruto's turn to laugh; a decidedly rare sound these days. "Just don't lose that cleverness. You'll be needing it where we're going. Don't let go of it."

A strange turn of phrase. "And why would I do that?"

"Poor choices. Or poor writing." his guardian shrugged and took another drink. "Possibly both."

"I'm afraid I don't quite follow."

"Best you don't." he set his mug down, eyed the door, failed to find the friend he sought, and sighed.

"Do you know why you lived?" he asked suddenly, apropos of nothing.

Tyrion felt a chill race up his spine. "Pardon?"

"When you were born." The Man of Many Faces looked back to him. "Tywin claims he let you live for the family name; that it was the only reason he didn't let the waves wash you away that night." a scarred finger traced the rim of his goblet. "The truth is far simpler. I told him that if any harm befell you after Joanna's death, I would make a second Harrenhal of Casterly Rock."

For a moment Tyrion's mind conjured an awful image of a giant golden fox trampling his childhood home. He wasn't sure why.

"A bold threat." he drank more wine to settle his nerves. "I imagine Father didn't much like that."

"No, he didn't." Naruto's gaze never left his. "He liked what came after even less."

All the hairs on the back of Tyrion's neck rose. He spoke as if he'd been there. Impossible, surely. "What are you, exactly?"

"You already know who I am." he tapped his forehead. "Naruto. As to the what, lets stick with the Man of Many Faces. Simpler that way. For you and Daenerys both."

"Ah, yes, the dragon queen." he seized on the change of subject all too happily. "Hopefully she won't have her dragons gobble us up."

"You let me worry about the damn dragons. They're not fully grown yet. Even if they were, I know how to handle them."

"Dragons haven't been seen for hundreds of years. How could you possibly know how to "handle" them as you say?"

The Man of Many Faces smiled.

...what are you scheming this time?"

Naruto said nothing to that effect. He just kept smiling.

"Did anyone tell you have a terrifying smile? No? Because you do."

His grin grew another inch, baring his teeth. Terrifying indeed. "So I've been told."

Times like these, Naruto rather reminded him of Bronn. A pity they had to leave him behind in King's Landing with Jaime. But his dear brother needed someone to train him up again; he was near useless with his left hand at the moment. Best for Bronn to stay by his side. He'd left him with a mighty sum of gold to assure his loyalties and Cersei was rather...occupied at the moment-if Naruto was to be believed-and therefore likely to overlook an up-jumped sellsword.

He didn't want to think about Bronn or Podrick or anything to do with Kings Landing right now.

"You speak as if you know the dragon queen."

"In a sense. I knew her family."

"Well, you don't have violet eyes or pale hair, so I'm guessing you're not a Targaryen." For some reason that seemed to amuse the man. "I'm sorry, did I say something you found funny?"

Naruto tilted his head, regarding him as a fox might an amusing mouse. "How old do you think I am, Tyrion?"

He named a random number off the top of his hea.

Naruto grinned.

"Was I wrong? Lower or Higher?"

"Higher."

Tyrion tried another.

Naruto's grin gained an edge. "Higher."

He was far too sober for this conversation. "Seven hells, how old are you, man?!"

"Old enough to have known the Targaryens back in their heyday." he knocked back his mug. "Even fathered a few between naps."

Tyrion nearly spat out his wine. "Naps?"

A low rumble of bitter laughter answered. "When you live as long as I do, sometimes you sleep for a few decades. Keeps things from getting boring."

More wine. He needed more wine. It kept his world from breaking. "I find your claims of fathering little dragons highly unlikely...

"The first Dragon I met was Aegon. First of his name." A chill shot down Tyrion's spine as the blond spoke, but he wasn't yet done. "Never met a man who could drink as much as him. Now there was a man with ambition. He knew what he wanted, so he went out and took it. Visenya and Rhaenys had plenty of spunk themselves, but Aegon, ha!" He smiled a rare smile, lost somewhere in the past. "Don't get me started on the dragons. Now those were gorgeous beasts. Balerion, Vhagar, Meraxes." the faintest of sighs escaped his lips. "They were legends back then. Together, we conquered a continent."

What did a man say to that? What could a man say?

"Back then, I promised Aegon I wouldn't let his line die out when he was gone. Although it was a near thing a couple times." Naruto snatched a bit of bread off the table and bit into it heartily before swallowing. "Maegor was a twat, so I killed him on that throne and went to sleep again.

The last true Targaryen I knew was Aerys, back when he was sane." he clenched his hand into a fist, leather grinding against flesh. "And for a brief time, when he wasn't. Tried to talk some sense into him. Didn't work. Tried to fix things. Still didn't work." turning his head, he spat upon the floor. "If little Dany has become anything like her old man was in the last years of his life...I'll tan her hide. Still might do it if she's gonna be an arrogant little bitch."

Tyrion winced. "That wouldn't exactly endear us to the last Targaryen..

"She's not the last Targaryen. That one's safe...for now."

"Pardon?"

"A story for another time." he poured again, filling their mugs tot he bri out an arm, letting a squad of guards march past. "If someone needs to knock some sense into her, then that's what we'll do."

"You seem to be a man of many promises as faces, my friend...

"Oh no," He laughed a little at that, idly smiling at a wine merchant. "Only three."

Right, he'd heard enough. He needed some air. Now. He stood with a wince, cursing a bit as the room swam around him. Wine. Too much. Far too much.

"Where are you going?"

"Need to take a piss. Don't follow me."

Mercifully, the Man of Many Faces didn't. He left him be, left him to shamble off and find a door leading outside. The fresh air cleared his thoughts. Stumbling steps led him to an alcove overlooking the sea. It looked lovely at night. He could see why it had been built here. Surely the water wouldn't mind a little more...well, water. Of course not.

Footsteps echoed behind him as he relieved himself. He sighed. "I told you not to follow me."

"..."

"No need to worry, I was just-oh." he looked over his shoulder and frowned when he found himself staring Thought you were someone else. Don't worry, the show's almost over."

The world lurched backward as they grabbed him.

"You've made some kind of mistake!" panic cleared his head, too little, too late, they were already tying him up. "Why don't you tell me what you think you're doing and-

A gag slammed around his mouth. And a voice answered him. "I'm taking you to the queen."

"What a coincidence, Jorah." A familiar voice said. "We were just headed that way."

His captor stiffened. Tyrion exhaled heavily against his gag.

"Hoenestly, Tyrion. I take my eyes off you for one second and you get yourself kidnapped...

His captor, this "Jorah" fellow, reached for his blade and glared into the stifling darkness. "Show yourself!"

"No further, Mormont." An undercurrent of steel threaded its way through Naruto's voice as he stepped out the shadows ahead of them, knives in hand. "Unhand the dwarf or your hand comes off."

Tyrion expected a fight. He didn't get one.

For you see, Jorah Mormont had frozen. Gone still as stone. He saw fear in the man's eyes, real fear. "Why are you here?"

"Me?" Naruto sheathed his knives. "I intend to pay a visit to my great-great-great-grandaughter...with my dear friend, Tyrion." his gaze traveled to him, blue eyes dancing with mild mirth. "I'd appreciate if you let him go, by the way. We've got a long journey ahead of us and he has need of his tongue." Without warning, his gaze sharpened. "Got yourself exiled, did you? Can't say I'm surprised. You should have been honest with her from the beginning."

Jorah cut him free and slammed down to one knee, bowing his head. "I am sorry, your grace...

"Stop that." A hand waved him up. "I haven't held that title for a very long time."

Without missing a beat, he turned and offered that same hand to Tyrion. He grasped it and hoisted hi upright.

"Sorry about that," Naruto hummed. "This is Ser Jorah Mormont, the bear I've been looking for. He'll be joining us on our journey."

"Why?"

"Because he didn't just spy for the Spider and King Robert. He spied for me as well."

"He tried to kidnap me!

Naruto grinned at him. "He failed."

"...if I could kick you in the balls right now, I would." Another, terrifying thought occurred to him. "What's all this your grace nonsense...?

The smile faltered. "That was a long time ago. A different face."

Tyrion paled. That settled it. More wine.

He was far too sober for this.

A/N: A Man of Many Faces indeed.

Hope everyone got the implications, because HERE COMES THE SPANKING.

Really needed an entire chapter dedicated to that, the madness in Meereen, and other things. Writing them here would've spoke . Hope you're looking forward to it!

Aaaand there we go.

Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this story, and others. Meaning folks don't like this, it won't be continued. If the story itself ain't popular/well-received...well, I won't be able to continue it. I'm working two jobs, holidays are here too, meaning I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy.

By all means, speak up! Your voice matters! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustain me. Without them I cannot write a single word. Simple as that. Working nearly all hours of the day keep me absurdly busy, and I can't bring myself to write something folks don't like.

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas... ...Revieeew, Would Ya Kindly?

Next time: A Lion Still Has Claws.

And a warning!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

SPOILERS LAY AHEAD!

YE BE WARNED~!

(Previews)

"You love her, don't you?"

Jorah stiffened under his gaze. "I do."

Naruto stared him down. "Would you die for her?"

"You stand before Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, The Unburnt, Queen of Meereen Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons.

...titles, titles and more titles." the Man of Many Faces exhaled shortly. Sharply. "Arrogance for days...

Daenerys lowered her chin to stare down at him from her throne. "And who are you, ser?"

"I'm no knight." he tucked a thumb in his belt. "As to who I am, I'll tell you my name...if your answer satisfies me."

"You bring a traitor and spy back into my presence, after I exiled him. Why should I listen to a word you have to say?"

"Because Jorah was spying for me as well, little girl." he took another step up the stairs. "He told me a great many things. There was a moment when I almost ran across the sea for your sake...until I heard you were in love. A shame what happened to him. You have my condolences. Not for your brother, though. Viserys always was a little snake. He deserved his "golden crown"...

"Now you insult me? I have even less reason to receive you."

"Right, that does it. Spanking the dragon queen."

Daenerys bolted upright. "I beg your pardon?!

Tyrion sputtered. "Surely you jest?"

Naruto walked up the steps.

Ser Barristan drew his blade to stop him. "That's close enough."

Naruto grinned. "Oh, its gonna be a fight, then? Good. Haven't had a proper scrap in CENTURIES...

"Hmm." Naruto sighed behind him. So that's a dragon. I thought they'd be bigger."

"That's a frightfully large beast!

"Still thought it'd be bigger." he stepped past him and stroked Viserion's chin as one might a particularly large cat. "There, there. You're alright, now. You won't die, I promise. Didn't ask to be cooped up down here in the dark, did you? Its not your fault. Your mother was just doing what she thought was best. Don't worry. We'll get you out into the sun soon enough.

Rhaegal offered his neck, next. Tyrion hastened to unlock his shackles with fumbling fingers, not trusting his temper.

The very moment he freed Rhaegal, the dragon all but bowled him over in his haste to get at Naruto.

They did not eat him. They did not even try. Were they...cuddling up to him?

Rare laughter filled the crypt.

R&R~!

=D