There are no words for how sorry I am. Three years without updating was NEVER my intention. I was going through a shitty time personally for the year after my last post and it was a while before I was settled and happy enough to be creative again. I've been drafting future scenes in my head for this story the last year or so, but never could get any of it down on 'paper'. The holidays always seem to either energize me or send me to a low place where I expend a ton of energy pretending that I'm okay. This year, I am okay, and I want to celebrate that and make sure to use that energy to create.
I would say enjoy, but this is not exactly a happy chapter. To be fair though, anything set during the Deathly Hallows is going to be gloomy, right?
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Abortion and Miscarriage
"Draco!" Miranda cried, falling to her knees at his side. His sense of humor was acerbic and he enjoyed taunting others too much, but she had a soft spot for the boy with Alphard's soul. It didn't even matter to her that it was Voldemort's command and her Unbreakable Vow that kept Draco and his sardonic personality glued to her side, he was her friend and she never wanted to see him hurt.
Miranda rolled him on to his back, opening his night shirt and watching as his skin turned purple on his belly around the obvious impact site of his aunt's thoughtless curse. Narcissa fell to his side as well. He was breathing still, just barely, but his mother would see he got help and was already muttering a counter curse between muffled sobs. Draco would live. This time.
Anger flared inside Miranda as she came to her feet, turning on a startled Bellatrix, "You stupid witch. You could have killed your own nephew. And for what? The love of a man who will never give it to you?" Miranda didn't even realize that she was trembling, that the air around them all had gotten inexplicably darker. She should have.
"Potter was escaping!" Bellatrix argued, at least having enough of a heart to try looking concerned about the welfare of her 'beloved' nephew.
Potter. Bellatrix had been trying to hit Harry. The monster inside of Miranda unfurled at the realization. Bellatrix had tried to kill Harry. Harry belonged to Miranda. It was her job to protect him. Draco had succeeded where she had failed. The anger and shame bubbled over as Miranda's emotions reached their breaking point.
A brief thought of how she needed to keep control passed through her mind, but the next thing she knew, Bellatrix was weeping in the corner, holding her wand arm to her chest. Miranda could see black veins of magic etched across the surface off her skin. The mark of the obscurous. She'd let the monster loose, but she hadn't killed the witch.
The darkness inside her regretted every ragged breath the woman drew. She could feel it, stirring angrily inside of her, caged like an irate tiger in a zoo.
"What are you?" Bellatrix sobbed.
Miranda brought herself to her feet, searched the room for her wand, and approached the other witch. Her secret had to stay safe. They could all figure it out when she was dead, but the unnatural nature of her magic would draw more attention than she needed. Her papa had been right about that part. It took no small number of deep breaths to steady her hand as she whispered, "Obliviate."
To her credit, Narcissa stared levelly back at Miranda when she approached her, "You'll keep him safe?"
"I would never hurt him." Miranda swore before Obliviating her magical lapse from the woman's brain.
She settled herself beside Draco, trying to calm herself down as the people around her stirred again. She felt a twinge in her gut as she bent forward to help Draco sit up, but didn't give it a second thought. "Hey, easy."
Draco coughed a little, but mostly just seemed a little confused, "Did they make it?"
Miranda shushed him, but nodded the affirmative, "I…uh…got a little carried away. I Obliviated your aunt…and your mother."
Draco reached out to his mother and grabbed her hand, "You any good at it?"
"Decently." Miranda told him, but her voice was unsure. "It was just a few minutes, nothing long-term. They should be fine. Shouldn't they?"
He shot her an exasperated look, and helped his mother up. "Are you okay, Mum? Think Weasley got the better of you for a second there. Tosser."
Bellatrix screamed and carried on as they informed Voldemort that while they had captured the Golden Trio, they had escaped. It was a messy affair that took well past dawn, and at the end of it, Miranda was exhausted.
Draco, seeming no worse for wear after his unfortunate cursing, ushered her back to Hogwarts, and she was just too tired to fight him. He dropped her off outside her rooms and went back to his own. Miranda quickly settled into an unusually dreamless sleep.
And woke to a nightmare.
The instant her eyes opened again she knew it. Her body was failing her.
Cramps so strong they made it difficult to walk wracked her body. Dizziness impeded her travel even more as she made her way through the holiday weekend empty dungeon. She had to get to Draco. He would know what to do.
Of course when she opened the door to his rooms he was balls deep in Pansy. The couple jerked apart, but Miranda didn't even react to the sight, she just held on to the doorframe, paler than usual. "Draco? Help."
Draco took one look at her, at the dark red stain spreading across the bottom half of her nightgown, and threw himself into action, barking orders at Pansy as they both put their clothes back on.
"It'll be alright." Pansy assured her as she rushed out of the room to locate Madame Pomfrey, still holding her unbuttoned shirt closed.
Draco scooped the delicate witch into his arms, letting his long legs carry them both as quickly as he could to the infirmary.
Miranda hardly remembered the urgent rush to the infirmary.
Draco literally kicked the doors open, running straight up to the baffled healer who Pansy had apparently only just reached, "She needs help. She's pregnant."
Oh, and that word took the breath right out of Miranda. There was no way that was true anymore, not with the cramping and the blood. She hadn't even gotten used to the idea yet. Harry didn't even know. Was that now a blessing? Wouldn't it be better that he didn't, that she was the only one mourning the loss? Harry had lost so much already.
Madame Pomfrey hurriedly instructed Draco to lay Miranda on a cot. Miranda stared at the enormous vaulted ceilings as time passed around her. Hands on her body and whispered spells didn't even register. She only barely recognized the tight hold Draco had on her hand, and the fact that time resumed when he was made to leave and his hand left hers.
"You've done some dark magic recently." Madame Pomfrey said finally.
Miranda drug her eyes from the expanse above her to rest listlessly on the older witch, and muttered lamely "I didn't mean to."
Madame Pomfrey scowled at her, "I do not side with your brother and loathe your presence here in our beloved school, but I will not allow you to continue as you have."
"What does it matter?" Miranda whispered, tears filling her eyes. Harry didn't even know.
Madame Pomfrey held potion vial out to her, though the scowl on her lined face did not ease, "Drink. You need to take better care of yourself."
"It doesn't matter!" Miranda yelled, turning away from the woman, curling her body up as small as she could make it. She looked at her hands, at the blood still staining both of them. Was it hers? The baby's? Both? Sobs overtook her. Harry didn't even know.
There was a gentle hand on her spine, rubbing soothingly in steady up and down motions, "Easy, Miss Riddle. I'd assumed from Mr. Malfoy's dramatic entrance that this was a wanted situation." She hesitated before speaking again, "Did you attempt an abortion, Miss Riddle?"
The word echoed in her head. Abortion? Maybe long ago, if one of the abhorrent boys in the orphanage had raped a baby into her. But Harry's baby? Their baby? A sweet little boy with his father's green eyes or a rambunctious girl with her natural hazel? So long as they were reasonably healthy, never. The thought was untenable. Harry didn't even know.
But then her fatigued anemic brain grasped another word in the woman's question: Attempt.
"What?" Miranda gasped, tears coming to an abrupt end as she twisted back to look at the woman.
The mediwitch's expression was kinder than Miranda could ever remember seeing it be, "You are a young witch, and even in times of peace, motherhood is no small feat. I could also understand how being bound to Mr. Malfoy for the rest of your life would be less than desirable. It is not his choice. It is yours. If you would like, I can leave a potion here for you to do the procedure properly. Not with dark magic that will threaten your life. Also, while sexual relationships between students are strictly forbidden while on the grounds, there are methods I can instruct you in to keep such things from occurring in the future unless you are ready to be a mother."
"Malfoy? A potion?" Miranda was hopelessly confused and several kinds of exhausted. "I didn't want to lose my baby." She finally said, her voice breaking at the last words.
Horror crossed Madame Pomfrey's face, "Oh dear, no, no, no. It appears there's been some miscommunication. Miss Riddle, you are still pregnant."
Miranda gasped, pressing both hands against the still flat skin of her stomach, "What?"
The matron smiled at her, "Yes, Mr. Malfoy got you here just in time. Any delay, and the beginnings of the miscarriage would have been irreversible. I assumed the residue of dark magic lingering near your uterus was a poor attempt at a back-alley abortion. You were hemorrhaging quite badly. If you were a muggle you might both already be dead." Her smile gained an edge as she said pridefully, "We do have much lower maternal and fetal mortality rates than the muggle world."
"I owe Draco my life." Miranda whispered, "And yours." She added to her child, finally recognizing a flutter of magic inside of her that was nothing like the dark all consuming power of the obscurus.
"Whatever magic you did, don't try it again unless you have a death wish for you and your child. There's damage that's been done, and your body can't sustain another trauma such as this so early in your pregnancy." Madame Pomfrey cleaned the blood from her hands and body with a quick spell, and tucked a blanket around her securely, "Rest up now, there'll be more conversations to be had in the morning."
Miranda's hand reached out to stop the Matron before her mind had even really settled on a plan, "You can't tell the Carrows, or Snape."
"I must inform the Headmaster of a pregnant student. That has been policy for as long as this great school has functioned." Pomfrey told her, a frown on her lined face.
"You can't." Miranda urged, sitting up a bit, still not letting the woman go, "This isn't Draco's baby. He's my friend, nothing more."
Madame Pomfrey blinked at her, "I've heard rumors in the halls…"
"Yes." Miranda confirmed, "Harry Potter was my lover while we were on the run. Harry is the father, and if my brother finds out, he'll kill us both." She faltered a bit, "Also, Harry doesn't even know. I've not gotten the chance to tell him."
After a long pause the older witch finally responded, "I'll keep your secret Miss Riddle. Provided we make it, however, I'd suggest you not return to school in the fall."
Miranda nodded, "I'm gone as soon as the semester ends. Less eyes will be on me then."
Because she couldn't die now, not when the life inside of her was fighting so hard to live. Keeping Harry and the shell of her brother alive was now almost secondary to the baby's wellbeing. She needed to stay alive, at least until the fall. The end of the summer at least, September or October would be best, but the thought of making it to the end of the semester was daunting enough. Sleep got the better of her fears though, and she slept the remaining hours of the day away.
Madame Pomfrey let Draco visit her early the next morning, so the heir was waiting in the chair next to her when she woke up. He pulled his feet off the end of her bed and leaned forward to take one of her hands in his. "How are you feeling?"
"Sore." She admitted, marveling at how every fiber of her ached. The joints in her fingers were even sore. Holding a wand would be a bitch for a few days. Not that she planned on doing anything other than napping until classes resumed. "You?"
Draco gave her a small smile, "Between you and Mum, I feel fine."
She grinned at him, "Well I assumed that based on how you were balls deep in Pansy when I came to find you. I assume she's going to be the next Mrs. Malfoy?"
He scoffed, "Not a chance. I'm betrothed to Astoria Greengrass, and Pansy's parents have her betrothed to some other poor bloke. We're just scratching a mutual itch. No love connection like you and Potter."
"He doesn't know." Miranda whispered, rubbing her stomach soothingly. There was no bump, no definitive outward sign that she was pregnant, but there would be in a few months' time. If she lived, of course. "That night in the dungeon, I should have told him."
Draco arched an eyebrow at her, "Life altering news or a bit of the old amorous congress? I mean, I know which I'd prefer if I was locked in a dungeon with the possibility of my impending tragic untimely death."
"Amorous congress?" Miranda echoed with a grimace, "That phrase was going out of style before I ended up behind the Black portrait."
"I dunno, sounds downright polite to me." Draco responded lightly, but continued their conversation with a shrug, "Well, I don't think sending the news via Howler is safe."
"Absolutely not." She confirmed with an eye roll. The sigh that followed said enough though.
Draco ruffled his ice-blond hair anxiously, "It's just…what's the best-case scenario?"
"I die, but Harry has a family." Miranda replied instantly.
"That's best case?" Draco asked, miffed.
Miranda shrugged, "I just need to live long enough for the baby to live without me. It's just half a year. I can do it. Especially with your help."
Draco gave her a pitying look, "Miranda, things have changed so quickly in the last year. Do you really see this dragging on for six more months without…your brother… getting a whiff? And what about when he does? You'll either be instantly dead, or…"
"He'll use us to torment Harry." Miranda whispered, finishing his painful yet logical statement. She groaned, pressing the heels of her hands against her eye sockets. The blooming of light in her vision did nothing to solve the issue, "I don't know, Draco."
"And what if you die and Potter does too?" Draco postulated.
Another orphan. The answer to that question was left unsaid, largely in part due to the plummeting temperature in the room.
"Miranda?" Draco said questioningly.
Realizing what was happening, Miranda sucked in several gasps of air. Hadn't Pomfrey told her just the night before that anymore 'dark magic' would be dangerous, deadly even? Draco took her hand in his, and whispered, "Miranda, we've got bigger issues. I think the baby is already shortening your fuse on the…"
Miranda nodded rapidly, but, several seconds later, she felt the magic of the obscurus settle back down. Six months? Who was she kidding? The obscurus would kill the baby before then, fueled by the hormones she only had coursing through her because of the baby. Wasn't that a circle of shit? Maybe it was actually a blessing that Harry didn't know. No, she couldn't think like that.
"We continue on." Miranda told Draco. It was what Harry would do, after all. "We do our best to hide any signs and symptoms for the rest of the school year, and then I vanish at the close of term. We'll make arrangements for the baby for after I'm gone."
"We need to find someone who can help you leash that thing." Draco advised.
'That thing' seemed such a cavalier way to refer to the dark entity that had grown inside her for far longer that Harry Potter's baby. Draco was right though. If she gained enough control back to compensate for the fluctuating hormones, they might have a chance. "Agreed. But first, I think I need breakfast. I'm suddenly famished."
"I'll go to the Great Hall and get you something while you talk with Pomfrey." Draco stood, stretching his long legs, "She was setting out a whole load of potions for you earlier, looking pleased as punch. I'm sure some of them will be hilarious to watch you try to keep down."
"You're an arse." Miranda grumbled, but smiled fondly at him. While he wasn't Harry, Draco was the next best wizard to have at her side that she could have asked for.
"So I've been told." Draco said proudly as he left the Hospital Wing.
Alone at last, Miranda looked at her stomach, rubbing her thumb over it, "We've got to work together now. There's enough going on without us adding to it." She pinched her eyes closed, "Merlin knows I deserve this trial, but Harry doesn't. He deserves a family to love and be loved by. I can only hope I'm strong enough for all of us."
To say Ron and Hermione were concerned about Harry would be an understatement. Since they had come to Shell Cottage, he hadn't said a word. He just kept staring at a scrap of sea-foam green silk he had somehow gotten in Malfoy Manor. "Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione begged. "What happened in the Manor? We all made it out, but you've been acting like someone died."
They had left him alone for the last few days, but Hermione was at her wits end. He finally looked at her and Ron, and not through them, "I left her."
"What? Who?" Ron said, even though Hermione knew who Harry was talking about, just from the look on his face.
Harry put his head in his hands, "Miranda. She came to see me, came into my cell. She told me the truth. And I left her. She has to feel so alone. How can she not hate me?"
"Mate, she must not have felt like that, she did help us escape. I heard what she said to you there at the end, and I can't help but think maybe we're wrong about her. Maybe she's not a bad person at all, maybe she's just stuck playing a role to stay alive." Ron said, and Hermione gapped at him. "What?" He asked, shifting uncomfortably.
"Ron, that was really deep." Hermione murmured, astounded.
The red-haired boy blushed, and Harry felt himself returning to normal. He was still angry at her for her secrets and himself for not insisting that she come with them, but he had another goal to accomplish. He needed to live. He had to defeat Voldemort. He could sort it all out if he was still alive.
He smiled at his friend, "Thanks, Ron, that makes a lot of sense."
"Anytime, Harry." Ron said easily, but he certainly didn't mind the appreciative look Hermione was giving him.
"I'm sorry about all that. Now what do we need to do now? We can't stay here for too long, can we?" Harry said, feeling better and more focused than he had in weeks.
Hermione whipped out her notebook, nearly hitting Dobby who had been a silent spectator to the whole intervention, "I'm curious about why Bellatrix thought the sword was supposed to be in her vault."
"I am too." Harry said, and they began their plan to rob Gringotts Bank.
They sat for hours over the next few weeks, planning, asking Olivander questions about the Deathly Hallows, and getting Griphook to agree to help them. Harry was anxious when they finally brought their plans into reality, but felt like he had a direction to go in now. They survived getting out of the vault, and, when faced with the dragon, it was Ron who had another brilliant thought.
"Harry, try talking to it!" He yelled, and the other two gapped at him, "Miranda was talking to Charlie one night and said that dragons understand parseltongue. It might listen to you!"
Harry looked uncertain, but Ron shoved him ahead a little, "Hello?" He said, and Ron shook his head, English.
Harry tried again, "Hello?" The dragon swung it's head towards him, and Harry laughed shortly in excitement, "You can understand me?" The magnificent beast nodded, "We're not going to hurt you." He insisted.
Hermione tugged on Harry's sleeve, "Tell her we'll help free her if she doesn't kill us." Harry relayed the message, and the dragon agreed, relief in her weary voice. The trio climbed on and were dropped into freezing water well away from Gringotts. They still had another Horcrux to destroy, but Harry felt that things were close to being over. It was a peaceful feeling that allowed Harry to sleep better than he had in weeks.
Please let me know what you think! And to those of you who are returning readers, thank you so much for sticking around. I really appreciate it!
The next chapter is almost halfway done and features our favorite Magizoologist and centenarian, Newt Scamander! And, yes, Dobby lived!
-Jenn