Chapter Two

February 1887

Charles was adjusting well to life at Downton. He got along well with the other footmen and the head housemaid, Esie Hughes. He found Elsie to be quite beautiful if he was honest with himself, but he had been at Downton for less than four months and wouldn't dare approach her in any way that went against protocol and procedure.

Lily had adjusted to life at Downton in record time, much faster than Charles had expected her to. Everyday, she woke her father up at 5:30 in the morning by crawling into his bed. She was always an early riser, which worked out fine since Charles had to be at the Abbey by 6:30. They would yawn and chat for a few minutes before her father helped her get dressed. He still hadn't quite gotten the hang of doing her hair, but he did his best to put it in a braid and avoid pulling too hard in the process. Then the pair would walk to Downton and eat breakfast with the servants before he sent her off to school with the gardener's children. A nanny had been hired for the Earl and Countess's expected child, and she watched over Lily after school with Charles peeking in to play with his daughter after serving tea to his employers. It was quite a lovely routine that he knew he wouldn't have had Robert Crawley not been his employer. Although, he did feel saddened by how little time he was able to spend with his daughter before she would fall asleep. The servants had their dinner rather late, around 9 or 10, and Charles would carry his sleeping daughter back to the cottage afterwards.

It was a few days before his Lordship's first anniversary, and Charles was polishing some silver on the dining room table when he heard a noise in the drawing room. It sounded like a groan. He set what he was working on aside and went to check it out. To his surprise, he saw Cora standing next to the sofa holding her side. "Pardon the intrusion, milady, but are you alright?" he asked.

"I have a rather painful stitch in my abdomen. Would you please send someone to fetch his Lordship? I'm sure it's nothing, but I'd like him here," she replied.

"Of course, milady. I certainly hope everything is alright."

As Charles reached the door and was about to leave the room and do as her Ladyship had asked, he heard her groan again. "Are you sure that's all you need me to do milady?"

"Actually, it's quite painful for me to walk. Would you mind helping me up the stairs?"

He did so with a gentle, slow nature that somehow managed to calm the anxiety that was roaring within Cora. Charles knew that her Ladyship was only 6 months along, and he knew from his experience with Alice that she still had a ways to go before delivering a child. He sent up a silent prayer that her Ladyship would be alright. After getting the Countess to her room, he sent a footman to fetch his Lordship and left to get the doctor. He knew it hadn't been asked of him, but something in his gut was telling him it was the necessary thing to do.

He brought Dr. Clarkson to her Ladyship's room and knocked quietly. The Earl called through the door for him to come in. Cora was laying in the bed holding her husband's hand. The corners of both their eyes were filled with small tear drops. "Your Lordship, I'm sorry if you find this to be impertinent, but I fetched the doctor upon seeing her ladyship's condition."

"Thank you, Charles. It means a great deal to us that you would be so considerate and do it because you saw a need rather than because it was asked of you. Send the doctor in please." With that, Charles left the room and the doctor entered.

Some time later, Charles was sitting at the dining room table having a spot of tea. He was anxiously shaking his leg but hadn't felt it was his place to say anything about her ladyship's health without permission when Elsie had asked him if something was troubling him. Upon glancing at the time, he decided to go outside and wait for Lily's arrival from school. After all, the fresh air would do him some good, he thought.

When he saw his daughter skipping along with her friends, a smile leapt across his face. "Daddy!" Lily squealed as she ran up to him. She hopped into his lap and flung her arms around his neck. "I had such a good day at school. I can count all the way to 20 now. Wanna see?"

"Sure sweet pea." Lily demonstrated her newfound skill proudly and received a kiss on the cheek from her father when she was finished. "Lovely job, Lily. Maybe Nanny will give you a special treat to celebrate when you two have your dinner."

"Yay! I hope so." Lily hugged on tight to her father until she saw her Nanny walking up behind him. "I guess I have to go now. Bye daddy. I love you."

"I love you too." He placed two fingers onto his heart, kissed them, and then touched them onto his daughter's heart. "Remember, I'm right here in your heart no matter what." With that, Lily dismounted from her place on his lap and went inside with Nanny.

He headed back inside and saw Elsie and the maids sitting at the table in silence. It was eerily quiet. "What's going on, Elsie?" he inquired.

"It's her ladyship. She's lost the baby," Elsie answered somberly. Charles braced onto the back of a chair, and his face went pale. He stood there for a moment with his mouth agape trying to regain his composure before sitting down across from Elsie.

"I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that. I know they were both very excited at the prospect of having a child." Charles was choking back tears of his own. He suddenly remembered where he was and decided it was best to excuse himself before his emotions got the better of him. "Excuse me, Elsie," he uttered quietly as he got up from the chair. He went to the washroom and let a few tears out before splashing water on his face and deciding to get back to work. A distraction would be good for him.

"Robert, he needs a name," Cora said as she sat holding her stillborn baby boy to her chest.

"Did you still want to use a Hebrew name?" Robert asked. "I know we talked about that before, and I think it could be nice. A way to honor your father's heritage."

"If you really mean that then I have an idea," Cora confessed.

"Of course I mean it, my love. Our fathers brought us together. It is only right we honor yours in this way."

"Then, he shall be remembered as Silas Patrick Crawley," Cora said, taking hold of Robert's hand as he walked closer towards her and nodded his approval of the name. "In honor of your beloved father, too."

"It's perfect," Robert said, tearing up as he stared at his wife with their son in her arms. "We shall have him christened and laid to rest properly. He is our son, and we love him, and he shall be honored as that."

"I agree," Cora's voice cracked and Robert could hear that it was thick with emotion. The unshed tears that had threatened to escape for some time now were finally beginning to trickle down her face. "Silas, my dear boy, we love you now, forever, and always. You were so wanted and wished for. I hope you know that."

"He does, Cora," Robert assured her, gently sitting on the edge of the bed and placing a tender hand on the baby's head, "He'll always be watching over us, and we'll always remember him and keep his legacy alive."

"Yes, we will."

With that, Robert and Cora let their tears overtake them as they said their final goodbyes to the son they had loved dearly that had been taken from them before he ever took his first breath. While they could never understand why Silas was taken from them, they would always love him and think of him and make sure he was remembered. They silently promised him this as they each pressed a kiss to his crown before the undertaker came.

Two days after her Ladyship's loss, Charles saw his lordship in the Great Hall. He felt sorry for his employers' loss, and he wondered how Lord Grantham was coping with it all. Men were always expected to get over this sort of thing rather quickly, but it was hard for them too, especially when they had very few people they could talk to. However, not knowing what he could say to make things any better and fearing it may have been impertinent to say anything, Charles decided to try to quietly slip into the Dining Room. Unfortunately, the floorboards creaked, causing Robert to turn around and see him. "Charles, do you have a moment?"

"Of course milord. I… I'm ever so sorry to hear about her Ladyship."

"Thank you for your condolences. I'm ever so grateful you had the instincts to fetch the doctor. Cora and I hope you will come to the baby's memorial. It's to be a small service on Friday."

"If you both want me there, milord, I will be. I know how hard it can be to grieve for a child, but it must be worse when the pregnancy was as far along as it was."

"Would you mind telling me a little bit more about your story?" the Earl inquired. "I understand if it's too hard for you, but I think it would help me to know I'm not alone."

"I'll tell you, but I might need to sit in your Lordship's presence in order to make it through."

"Please do." The Earl sat down and ushered for Charles to sit in the chair across from him. Charles sat and told him about his relationship with Alice. They had been fortunate enough to get pregnant early on into their marriage and have Lily without any complications, but when Lily had been two, Alice had a miscarriage. It was early days, too early to tell the sex of the baby that would have been their second child, but they still felt heavy hearts. Charles told the Earl he couldn't even imagine having gone through what Robert and Cora went through, losing their first baby at a point when they were so prepared and excited. The Earl informed him that he and Cora had decided to name their stillborn baby boy Silas. "Thanks for sharing your story with me, Charles. I'm glad I'm not the only father who feels such grief. The funeral for little Silas will be on Friday at 2 with just a few family. Please come."

"I'll be there, milord. Oh, and um, I wanted to let you know that if you're uncomfortable having a Nanny around now that you and her ladyship's circumstances have changed, I am prepared to make other arrangements for Lily's care. I could send her to live with my aunt or hire a caretaker in the village to look after her."

"Thank you for your kind words, Charles. I appreciate them immensely. However, that won't be necessary. I am happy to still provide Nanny to look after Lily. Her Ladyship and I are comforted by the idea of having a child in the house, even if it's not our own."

"Okay. Thank you very much, milord." Charles rose from seat and took a breath preparing himself to get back to work. As his Lordship stood, something came over Charles and he hugged his employer. "Everything will work out, milord."

Realizing that he had just broken major protocols, he let go and stuttered out an apology. "I'm ever so sorry, milord. I.. I don't know why I did that. I.."

"Don't be. I needed that." The Earl smiled kindly and walked away.

The funeral was the day after the Earl and Countess's anniversary. Charles realized he was, to his surprise, the only servant in attendance. He knew it was to be an intimate service, but he didn't realize just how small that really meant. When the service was over, he placed a white carnation on the memorial site. It was a small gesture that he thought would go unnoticed by those around him. Both the Earl and Countess had seen it, however, and they looked at each other knowingly as Charles walked away.

The next morning, Charles arrived at Downton and found a note at his place at the table in the servant's hall.

Charles,

I can't thank you enough for being present at Silas's funeral yesterday. You gave both Robert and I a great sense of solace and comfort. I'm sure it was a hard day for you as well. If you want to take today off and spend the day with Lily, I've cleared it with Sims.

Sincerely,

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham

Charles went to the kitchen, where Lily was snacking on a biscuit. "What are you doing, young lady?" he teased. "You know you can't have biscuits before breakfast." He knew he should be a little sterner, but he couldn't help but take a light-hearted tone with his daughter at that moment.

Lily wiped powdered sugar from her lips with her sleeve and smiled. "Sorry, I was hungry."

"It's alright. Let's go out and get breakfast at a restaurant in town."

"But daddy don't you have to work?"

"Not today. Lady Grantham has asked Sims to give me the day off."

"Sims said yes? He seems a rather mean butler."

"That's not true," he fibbed. "He's fair enough. Now c'mon princess." He ushered her off her stool and hoped his superior hadn't overheard the words that came out of his daughter's mouth.

"Daddy, horse ride please?" Charles turned around and crouched so his daughter could hop onto his back. He gave her a piggy-back ride as they exited the servants' quarters. With that, the pair was off for their special daddy-daughter day.