Took me long enough, but I finally got this one out. Honestly, I only have my poor time management decisions to blame. Oh well, all I can do is learn and try to do better in the future.
Wow! I can't believe we're on the cusp of sixty follows already. At this rate, we'll be surpassing a hundred pretty soon. Thanks for your support everyone.
Reviews
Guest: Glad to hear it! There will definitely be consequences(can't just one shot everything after all), but just as many will come from Alex's choices as from his current lack of strength as well as my own personal twist on things which will start to become apparent here.
Guest chan: Yes! Someone who understands! One of my biggest gripes with self-inserts has always been the MC's unrealistic motivations or how they suddenly become paragons of virtue as soon as they reincarnate, especially when they were usually loner neets in their previous life. It's always rung hollow to me. Relations will definitely change. Oolong and Yamcha in particular will be interesting I think. As for canon changes, there already were, albeit minor. They'll become more apparent this chapter.
a guy1013: Honestly, I take that as high praise, but I definitely have a lot to grow before I reach where I want to be. It was interesting to see another Goku SI story as I hadn't been able to find any, but only time will tell whether I'm able to reach as far as you did.
KingPlotBunny: Good guess. You'll just have to read to see if you were right.
tank2u1wood: Thanks, it's definitely going to be a step up in difficulty from the sabertooth as you will see shortly.
HT912: Glad to see you liked the banter! Means I definitely improved my dialogue skills. I'd say the Alex/Oolong interactions will be pretty fun. Agreed on pacing. Looking back, despite the chap being short, the cliffhanger definitely felt like the optimal place to leave things off. In my previous story, I made the mistake of trying to rush to the big twist moments and I think it made certain scenes feel constricted. Don't read too much into the name thing. I really didn't think too deeply about it aside from that it'd be weird for him to instantly take to it without any awkwardness.
Ch 3: Wakeup Call
Alex's hand shook slightly as he pulled the staff from its sheath. Gripping the pole with both hands, his fists clenched and unclenched around it. His breathing sharpened as his heartbeat began to speed up, and a bead of sweat ran down his face.
If I'm not wrong and I really am weaker, then I can't afford to fuck around and find out with this guy.
The pterodactyl or pteranodon— pterosaur, whatever!— bared its teeth in an amused but condescending grin. Bulma squirmed pale faced in its grasp as it looked down on him from its makeshift perch atop the knocked over jeep. "Does the little shrimp wanna fight?" it asked. "I'm not hungry enough for two meals right now, so how about you just skedaddle, kid? If you leave the girl with me, I'll turn the other way while you book it."
"Don't you even think about leaving me, Goku!" Bulma bellowed.
The pterosaur turned its toothy grin towards her, causing her to let out a shrill "Eeep!" before shutting up, then turned its ugly mug back to Alex. "What's it gonna be, shorty?"
Alex narrowed his eyes. It's giving me the chance to run? Why not just try killing me now and getting it over with if it really doesn't want to deal with me? Or better yet, fly off? What's his angle?
Then he gazed into its eyes. They didn't have any of the animalistic rage of the sabertooth, but something much worse. Something cruel and calculating. No, this thing had no intention of letting him go. It just wanted him to think that it did. To see the faint shimmer of hope fill his eyes only to twist into unbridled horror as he was torn limb from limb. This fucker wants to play games with me.
If this had been happening on screen, Alex probably would've just pegged the pterosaur off as mindless anime mook number forty-five, but experiencing it first-hand, he felt like he was face-to-face with true malice for the first time in his life.
His palms dampened and a chill ran down his spine as he looked into those eyes, but he managed to force a cocky grin. "Sorry, but I'm calling bull. What's to stop you from jumping me as soon as my back's turned? Then again, that didn't really work out for you the first time, did it?" What are you doing, dumbass! Don't antagonize the big scary dinosaur!
The pterosaur's grin widened, its teeth gleaming wickedly in the light, and it smacked its tail eagerly against the jeep's metal frame, bellowing out a laugh. "Gyahaha! Know what? I've changed my mind. You've got some guts, shrimp. I'll enjoy spilling 'em."
With a mighty flap, the pterosaur descended into action, swooping down at him. Bulma screeched, and he threw himself to his stomach just in time as the hulking reptile sheared through the space above him, the wind whipping back his bangs. It circled back and, after tucking the power pole under his arm, he hurriedly pushed himself up and leapt out of the way, just barely dodging a clawed foot only to be slapped by a swinging tail. Pain exploded on the side of his face and he skid along the barren road. He sat up, holding up a hand to stop his rattling jaw where a red welt began to form. That fucking hurt.
"Still conscious, shorty?" the beast taunted. "Guess you're a little sturdier than I thought."
It rushed him again. Running on a combination of instinct and adrenaline Alex raised the power pole in defense, tanking the brunt of the tail slap against the staff, but the force still sent him sprawling backwards. A narrow roll to the left kept a three-fingered hand from smashing his face into paste and after swinging wildly through the kicked up dust Alex managed to jam the staff deep into the blue beast's gut.
"Gah!" it grunted, then growled as it smacked Alex away with its wing.
He rolled for a bit before digging his staff into the dirt and dragged himself to his feet. His ears were ringing slightly, and he was pretty sure it wasn't just the leftover remnants of the sandwich from earlier he was tasting.
"Goku!" Bulma shouted. Alex shook his head to see the pterosaur rushing him once again. Reflex had him jumping up high to avoid being speared through by its lunging beak only for him to end up awkwardly bouncing down its back. On the way down, he somehow managed another swing into the pterosaur's side before being knocked away by a wide sweeping arc of the tail. He grunted, hitting the ground with a hard smack.
These reflexes throw me off just as much as they help, he thought, spitting out a wad of dirt, then hastily threw himself forward, ducking low under a sweeping wing. With a frenzied yell, he launched himself elbow first into the pterosaur's gut, driving it back a few steps before smacking it upside the head with the bo staff.
"Yeah, show him who's boss, Goku!" Bulma cheered, breaking Alex's concentration and opening him up to be knocked away by another swipe of the wing. He glared at her. "Not helping!"
"Grah! You little freak," the pterosaur rumbled, shaking itself off. "How are you still standing? You can't be human."
"Well, you're half-right, I guess," Alex murmured, licking his lips nervously as he felt at his sides. He let out a heavy wasn't going so well. Sure, he'd gotten in a few good hits, but he was pretty much floundering through what should have been an easy fight. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this up. Something had to change soon, otherwise…
The pterosaur snarled and made another push, lashing out with a wide sweep of its wing. Alex shirked backwards, but stumbled over his own flimsy footing. Goku's reflexes kicked in again, helping him maneuver around another beak lunge and placing him in the small crook between the pterosaur's head and wing. Without thinking, he swung his fist as hard as he could, landing a devastating blow on the ridge of its eye socket. Bone crunched under his fist and he felt the eye itself give with a sickening squelch. The pterosaur recoiled with an agonized howl, cupping a hand to its destroyed eye as blood streamed between its fingers.
Alex stood wide-eyed. The distinct sensation of the eye popping under his knuckles kept replaying in his head, but he drew his lips tight, forcing down the rising nausea. This bastard's trying to kill us. He doesn't deserve any pity. With a shout, he darted toward the hunched reptile, raising the power pole overhead. He leapt up, aiming straight for his wailing enemy's skull—
Only for the pterosaur to twist its other arm with a snarl, lifting Bulma right into the path of Alex's strike. She screamed, and with a startled curse, he twisted to the side, his swing nearly grazing her ear, opening himself up to a strike that swatted him into the ground. He struggled to his feet as something coiled tightly around him.
"Hahaha! Not so tough when you can't scurry around, eh, pipsqueak?" It said, cackling viciously as it tightened its grip.
Fucking bastard! Alex thought as he was slammed against the ground again and again. The power pole pressed painfully into his ribs, spittle erupted from his mouth, and his thoughts clouded over as his head was constantly whipped back and forth. Then it stopped, only for his relief to end a moment later as he was tossed at a nearby tree. He glanced off the side of it, crashing roughly into the hard packed dirt. His vision swam and the world around him became muted, like cotton had been painfully stuffed into his ears. Through the dizziness one thought stood out clearly.
I'm going to die here…
For the first time since arriving in this strange but familiar world, the full weight of that sentiment hit him with the force of a crashing wave. Sure, at the back of his mind he'd constantly been aware of the dangers of this world and how as its protagonist he would eventually be forced to face them, but for the most part he'd been able to ignore those thoughts in order to focus on the present. It wasn't until this moment, facing the very real possibility of death for the first time, that the full ramifications of his situation were sinking in.
Terror gripped him.
I… I don't want to die…
"Goku!" Bulma's voice cut through the muffled haze, focusing his blurry vision on the approaching form of the pterosaur diving towards him. He tried to move, to get away, but his muscles felt sluggish, refusing to work right. His quivering left hand felt at the ground for the dropped bo staff and his fingers wrapped around it in a deathgrip, knuckles bone-white. No reflexes would save him this time. He waved the staff uselessly in a pathetic last ditch effort to protect himself, almost dropping it.
Anger swelled up within him. Is this all some big fucking joke? Was I really brought here just to die on the first damn day to some low-tier fuckface? How the hell is that fair?
Fury mixed with fear and his yearning to survive.
And something awakened deep inside.
It started as a small spark in his core, easily mistakable for his tightly clenched stomach, but the spark spread, cascading throughout his entire body like a warm running river. His vision cleared, his breathing steadied, and his aches dulled. His senses had sharpened too, but at the moment all he could focus on was the imposing specter of death rapidly approaching.
Away… I need to get away.
And then suddenly he was zipping backwards, the lacquered wood in his hands glowing a dull red as it propelled him away. Meanwhile, the front end extended forward, right at his incoming enemy.
"What the—" the pterosaur shouted right before the staff collided with its face. It crashed to the ground, dropping its hold on Bulma, who ran for cover, hiding behind the destroyed jeep.
I… I'm alive? Alex thought, staring at the elongated wood in awe. The power pole… It worked? He looked to his hands, feeling the gush of warmth flowing through them. This… this is ki, isn't it?
He let out a hysterical, unbelieving laugh. It was so obvious. That's what he'd been missing. Why he had felt so much weaker than he should've been. And why he hadn't been able to use the power pole properly. The answer was ki. He hadn't been using ki. He wanted to slap himself. He'd assumed he'd already been using it passively without giving it much thought, but why hadn't he considered experimenting by trying to throw a ki blast or something?
He waved the pole around awkwardly. Now how do I get you to… As if reading his thoughts, the staff shrunk back down to its normal length.
Then, just as quickly as it had appeared, the burst of energy faded away. His bruises began to ache again and his shoulders slumped as his breathing became heavier.
With a wince, he turned to the collapsed figure of the pterosaur.
"Is it dead?" Bulma asked hesitantly, slowly approaching from behind the truck.
Alex squinted, picking out the subtle rising and falling of its chest, then shook his head. His jaw hurt as he spoke. "No, just out cold. We should get out of here before it wakes up." He turned to the destroyed jeep and grimaced.
Bulma smiled weakly. "Don't worry about the car. I came prepared in case something like this happened." She pulled out the metal box full of dyno-caps and retrieved one with the number nine on it. After a quick toss a sleek rounded motorcycle appeared in a burst of smoke.
She patted his shoulder reassuringly, and he winced. "Sorry. Here, I'll check you over real quick and then we'll get moving again. We still have a few hours before nightfall."
As she prodded gently at his body searching for any serious injuries, Alex found his gaze being dragged back to the downed dinosaur, realizing just how lucky he'd gotten. Soon after, as Bulma kickstarted the motorcycle's engine and they resumed their journey, one dark thought kept plaguing him.
I could actually die here…
The smoke from the dyno-cap dissipated, leaving a strange dome-like structure in its wake. Tinted rectangular windows lined the sides of the structure, and a long radio antenna rose from the top along with some other cylindrical structure that Alex figured was some kind of futuristic chimney or air vent. The number 'one' was printed above the entrance in bold black.
It kinda looks like a hi-tech version of Patrick's house, he couldn't help but think, his lips quirked up slightly.
"It's nothing compared to the buildings back in West City, but it's gotta beat sleeping in some dinky old shack, right?" Bulma said, a tinge of humor lacing her otherwise despondent voice. Neither of them had said much during the motorcycle ride. They'd both been shaken up by the earlier encounter.
"It's nice," he said, voice flat. "Very… round." He had such a way with words.
Bulma twisted the lever handle and slipped inside; Alex stepped in after her. Harsh white light from overhead led lamps reflected off pristine curving walls and tiled floor, giving off a sort of sterilized feel vaguely reminiscent of a hospital room. It was offset slightly by all the standard commodities one would expect from the modern world, with plush swivel chairs, ceramic tables, and varnished cupboards in the kitchen.
The large fridge nestled beside the pantry called to him. Seemed that not even a near death experience could spoil his appetite for long.
Bulma noticed his gaze and gave a weak smile, clasping her hands together. "Tell you what, Goku: why don't you go take a nice warm bath while I cook us up some dinner, hm?"
"Uh, sure… thanks," he said, slightly surprised she was being so considerate. Well, I did almost kick the bucket saving her life.
She pointed him in the direction of the bathroom. "I don't have any spare clothing your size, though… You'll have to wait until we reach the nearest town. Sorry."
He looked down at his bloodied and torn rags and sighed. "I'll make due. Don't worry about it."
"Well, at the very least I can wash out the blood. Just hand them over when you're out. Oh! And you don't know how to use the shower, right? Here, let me show you."
"I'm sure I can figure it out," he said, walking toward the bathroom.
"Goku…" she called. "Are you ok?"
He stopped halfway through the door, his back facing her. He let out a small shaky breath, then turned and grinned. "I'll be fine. Nothing some good food and a nap won't fix," he said, then shut the door behind him, his grin fading.
A few minutes later, he was standing buck-naked in the tub, feeling the streams of warm water run down his back as he lathered soap along his arms, scraping off flakes of dried blood and grime. Normally, he would've entertained himself debating whether it was gay or not for him to be washing another dude's body given his situation, but… he wasn't in the mood.
With an empty gaze he watched as the last of the blood trickled down the drain, then reached for the shower knob. His hand rested on it for a moment before starting to tremble, and with a shaky breath, his legs gave out and he slid down along the wall.
I could've died… I really could've died.
His mind kept flashing back to his near brush with death. If he hadn't managed to tap into his ki somehow, that would've been it for him. He let out an incredulous laugh. How's that for deus ex machina?
With a strained sigh, he pushed up his bangs and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
Who the hell did he think he was? To think he'd actually been mulling around with the idea of playing the hero? Yeah, right! Compared to the real Goku, he was dogshit! There was no way he'd ever be able to accomplish what the saiyan had. Not when basic enemies became life-or-death threats to him! Forget the saiyans or the androids! He could barely handle a fucking dinosaur!
His grip tightened on the shower knob, and he took a deep breath. Calm down. You have ki now. With that… with that things won't be so bad.
Except that he barely knew what he was doing and didn't have the advantage of years of training under Grandpa Gohan. And things were only going to get harder as time went on.
This had been a wakeup call for him.
He couldn't do this. Heck, he shouldn't even be here.
But it's not like I was given a fucking choice! No one asked me: Hey, you wanna go to the Dragon Ball universe? Yeah? Neat! Oh, but you'll have to replicate all the protag's impossible feats.
He remembered the offer the pterosaur gave him and chuckled darkly. What if he just ran off in the middle of the night? Wait until they reached the next town, get Bulma to buy him some supplies, maybe a few capsules, then disappear when she wasn't looking. He'd leave the four-star ball behind. That's what she was really after anyway. Using his knowledge of the series he could stay out of the way of any major threats. Sure, the world would probably get taken over by one big bad or another, but how much could that really affect him? As long as he stayed on the move, he should be able to live a somewhat peaceful and death-free life… until Raditz showed up looking for him. Oh! What if he somehow convinced Bulma to build him a spaceship? He could just chill in space, exploring the galaxy… until he ran into the Frieza Force or Buu woke up and started rampaging across the universe. Oh, and Bulma would probably be dead too anyways.
"Damn it. Dead end after dead end," he said, gritting his teeth and pulling at a bang. He found his eyes drifting toward the discarded pile of tattered clothing sitting on the countertop. Next to them was the small pouch containing the four-star ball. He scoffed. All of this for such a stupid wish?
Suddenly, an idea began taking root. What… What if he took the wish for himself? Ask Shenron to take him back to his Earth? He'd be the first to admit he hadn't exactly had much going on back home. No girlfriend, his relationship with his parents wasn't the best, and he had no major goals or aspirations he'd wanted to accomplish. There were a few people he talked to here and there that could be considered friends, but none that he would say he truly trusted without a shadow of a doubt. Really, he'd practically been wandering aimlessly through life. Still, it was a million times better than being stuck here! At least back home he didn't have the constant threat of death looming over him.
It was a bit of a longshot, he knew. The Earth's dragon balls were actually pretty limited in what they could do, but it was worth a try, right? Something had brought him here, and if anything could get him out, what better than the magical wish-granting dragon?
His mind flashed back to that moment again. The suffocating way his throat had clogged up as his body failed him and the world itself seemed to close in around him as he waited for the end. It chilled him just thinking about it, and he made up his mind. He didn't care if death wasn't really the end in this world or that he could be brought back. He never wanted to feel that way again. He'd survive and get out of this no matter what, even if he had to play a little dirty.
Better than a boyfriend or some panties, that's for sure, he thought, and couldn't help but grin just a tad bit evilly. Sorry, Bulma, looks like I won't be much of a reliable partner in the end.
He only had to manage up until the end of the arc. That much should be doable at least. And when he got his chance he'd be the one stealing the wish, not the pig. Luckily, early dragon ball was a gag manga anyways, so there shouldn't be anything too extreme getting in his way… right?(1)
Emperor Pilaf— soon to be addressed as Grand Emperor Pilaf, ruler of the entire world— marveled at the small orb held in the palm of his hand. The orb contained a single shining red star at its center, and its glassy translucent surface reflected his regal visage: elegant blue skin and sharp angular ears brilliantly complimented by a particolored red and blue hat and a green tunic overlaid with a black vest and topped with a white ruffed collar.
"At long last," he whispered, "the first of the seven dragon balls is mine."
He lowered his gaze to his two kneeling minions and smiled. One was a small brown-furred dog man garbed in purple ninja attire with a katana fashioned to his back, the other a tall woman with heavy makeup and a teal buttoned-up trench coat and combat boots. Both of their outfits were littered with several small tears and patches of burned fabric.
"It seems our intel bore fruit this time," Pilaf said. "Shu, Mai, good work, you two."
Shu's fluffy white-tipped tail swished with delight before a sharp look from his partner brought it to a halt, and Shu coughed. "T-Thank you, sire."
Mai, the much more professional of the pair, simply said, "We are unworthy of your praise, Emperor."
"Of course," Pilaf said with a wave. "Now, how about that field report? Did the two of you have any trouble retrieving the dragon ball?
"As expected, the dungeon was well-secured, sire," Mai answered. "with several traps laid out and even a few hollow suits of armor that were somehow able to move on their own and intercept us."
Pilaf nodded. With the stronghold containing a dragon ball, it wasn't surprising for there to be magical defenses put in place to keep any intruders out. "But nothing my two best agents couldn't handle, right?"
"Of course, sire," Mai said.
"I sliced dem up real good, sire!" Shu added. "Wait… aren't we your only agents?"
"Anyways, any clues on the whereabouts of the other balls?" Pilaf asked. "A map, maybe?"
His two minions shook their heads. "Unfortunately not, sire," Mai said. "The dragon ball was the only item of import in the dungeon."
"Unfortunate, but no matter," Pilaf said. "Now that the first is in my grasp, locating the others will be simple." He descended from his throne, making his way across the throne room and into one of the many passageways of his castle, his minions quickly falling into step behind him.
"Uhh… how are you gonna do that, sire?" Shu asked. "It took us forever just to find the first one."
"I know it's not your strong suit, Shu, but try using your brain for once," Pilaf said, tapping his temple. "The dragon balls are one of a kind. There's nothing else like them in the entire world." He held up the one-star ball. "Mystical objects such as these are bound to give off a unique energy signature. All I have to do is find a way to pick up on that." He grinned. "For someone of my talents, accomplishing something as simple as that shouldn't take more than a few days."
Shu's brow furrowed. "I still don't get it, sire."
Pilaf rolled his eyes. "Of course, you don't, you dolt. Mai, explain it to him."
"What his majesty means is to build a radar of sorts," Mai said.
"Ohhh," Shu said, his snout open wide.
Imbecile, Pilaf thought as they continued through the sand-bricked corridors, then stopped. "Oh, by the way, you two, did you find any signs of… competition while on your mission?"
Mai shook her head. "No, sire. There were a few bodies scattered throughout the dungeon, but based on what we gathered, they were nothing more than would-be treasure hunters and thrill seekers. As far as we know, no one but us even knew the dragon ball was in there."
Pilaf nodded. "Perfect. You're both dismissed for the day."
His minions kneeled once more before leaving to attend to their own devices. Knowing Shu, it'd definitely be something foolish. Pilaf continued on toward the castle laboratory in order to conduct some preliminary tests on the dragon ball. He held it up once again, feeling a surge of elation course through his small body. It was only one of seven, but with it, victory was practically his already. Very few people had ever even heard of the dragon balls, and those that had thought of them as nothing more than a fairy tale. The chances of someone trying to undermine his efforts were practically nonexistent.
"Just as this dragon ball sits perfectly in the palm of my hand, so too will the very world," he said, giggling maliciously.
However… if there somehow were others who knew the truth about the dragon balls, those who would try to take what was rightfully his, to attempt to steal his wish, then… Grand Emperor Pilaf would be far from merciful.
(1) Alex's decision here was him grasping at straws in a moment of desperation and shouldn't be taken as a fully thought-out logical decision. He's in a rough spot right now, for good reason. He'll calm down a bit and think it over more in the following chapter, however, I do intend for him to try and make a grab for the balls, as I think it will make for some interesting conflict later. However, his current motivation is just that, a current motivation. It's not going to be his driving force forever. So if anyone's worried this is just going to become Alex whining about wanting to go home, then don't be. I've got much more in mind than that.
Slightly more competent Pilaf gang, anyone? I wonder what effects that'll have? I decided to take a page from the anime and have them start making moves earlier. I'm not completely overhauling their characters or anything but they'll cause a bit more trouble than they did in the original story. You can definitely expect more changes like this to spice things up as we go along.
Before anyone asks, Alex's injuries from this weren't severe enough for a zenkai(oof). While he might have mentally felt the terror of imposing death, he was still far from being considered near death physically. No senzus so I can't have him fully incapacitated this early on after all.
I am aware that making the MC's motivation a desire to get home can be an unpopular trope in SI stories, but I think that's more to do with shoddy execution than concept. In most cases, there is no feasible method to return home so while the MC may want it, there is no tangible goal to actually make progress towards, essentially meaning the MC has no true motivation/goal for the story and so end up just sounding whiny. In Alex's case, we do have a tangible goal(the dragon balls), which also serves as a potential source of conflict down the line with the other characters as well as giving him more of a stake in the quest compared to a passive tag-along like Goku was. Not to mention that given his specific circumstances, I feel it's more justified in this case.
Next time we'lll cover the events surrounding Turtle and I'll also introduce a story element that could be a bit of a double-edged sword narratively, but could also enrich the story if I pull it off right. Unfortunately, school starts back up again soon so updates are bound to be more sporadic from this point on. Still, I hope to get the next chapter out in a timely manner. Until next time!