Requested by: Guest
Current Client: Merlin
Irisviel: Oh goodness, I have no idea if this is a man or a woman. I'd better let them talk first.
Merlin: I've had it. I've absolutely had it!
Irisviel: Had what, sir – uh, ma'am; er – help me out here.
Merlin: It's sir.
Irisviel: Thank you. Now, what have you 'had', exactly?
Merlin: Simply put, I'M TIRED. I've done everything in my power to keep those two together: I've tried creating time paradoxes and loopholes in the fabric of time and space, I've tried Servant-binding rituals and body spells, but it's NOT WORKING.
Irisviel: My, this is embarrassing – I'm a mage and I only understood about half of what you said. Who is this 'they' you speak of?
Merlin: Your son Shirou and Saber, of course! I'm trying to reunite them, but no matter what I do, I can't stop Saber disappearing at the war's end! Do you know how many times I've gone back in time trying to stop it!?
Irisviel: Er –
Merlin: And I've had enough! I want to complain about this whole Servant policy thing. Why shouldn't Masters be able to keep their Servants as long as they want!? It's their mana that's being used! And they might as well get something out of that stupid war!
Irisviel: It's going to take a miracle to pull that off, sir. But why do you want to reunite them so badly?
Merlin: England needs a king, of course. Arturia's not going to live forever.
Irisviel: Hmm. While I believe you are several centuries late, I can agree with your way of thinking. After all, grandkids are every mother's dream, aren't they? And I have all these wedding dress catalogues...
Merlin: I knew you would understand.
Irisviel: …and I'd make a seven-tier cake decorated with little Excaliburs; Ilya could be the flower girl...
Merlin: Ma'am? I still need an answer.
Irisviel: ...I suppose that nice Tohsaka girl could be the maid of honor. After all, she and Shirou are such good friends. Now, what kind of ring would be best...?