Irisviel Answers Complaints

by 16-horses

The characters of the Fate saga certainly have to put up with a lot, but Irisviel von Einzbern has decided to receive the complaints of Masters and Servants alike and hopefully address their issues. Predictably, she has her work cut out for her. Reader participation is encouraged! Latest chapter: EMIYA Part II, featuring Mysterious Heroine X.

6. Shirou Kotomine Part I

Current Client: Shirou Kotomine Part I

Irisviel: Oh, uh, hi, Archer.

Shirou: Archer? What are you talking about?

Irisviel: I like your hair.

Shirou: Um, thank you.

Irisviel: So, what's your complaint?

Shirou: Well, you see, my name's Shirou Ko-

Irisviel: Ah, finally admitting it, are we?

Shirou: W-what? Admitting what?

Irisviel: That you and Shirou are the same person.

Shirou: I am Shirou.

Irisviel: Exactly!

Shirou: Okay, whatever. I don't even know what to say to that. The problem is my last name. I hate it.

Irisiviel: You're adopted.

Shirou: Well, I know that.

Irisviel: So what's the problem?

Shirou: I told you, I HATE it! I have to share it with that douchebag, K-

Irisviel: Whoa, whoa, hold on. I thought you loved him.

Shirou: WHAT!?

Irisviel: Honestly, teenagers these days. I don't know what to say. Look, if you hate it so much, find out what your original surname was and get your name changed. I don't care.

Shirou: But I already know – oh, whatever.

Oh, silly Irisviel... she will never find out.