I have a ton of requests to fill, so just so it's clear, I'll write them in the order they were posted. In other words, it's first come first serve. But don't worry, in the end everyone will be served.

I just realized I've been spelling Illya wrong all this time... oh well, easily fixed.

Requested by: aliesterus

Current Client: Rin, Sakura, and Illya Part II

Irisviel: Oh, hello, girls! Back so soon? I would offer you cookies, but I'm afraid I'm all out. An ealier client of mine... well, she had emotional issues.

Rin: Hmph. Hog.

Sakura: Mrs. von Einzbern, we need your help again.

Irisviel: Anything for you, dear.

Sakura: You see, the Holy Grail War is won...

Rin: By us, of course.

Irisviel: All of you?

Illya: 'Cause we're all on the same team!

Irisviel: I see.

Sakura: Everything should be just fine now. But... it's not.

Irisviel: What's the problem?

Rin: It's Shirou.

Irisviel: Yet again.

Rin: The whole darn world has still got it out for him. There's no reason why anyone should want to kill him now, but that idiot's constantly got one foot in the grave, the way things are going for him.

Irisviel: What 'things' exactly?

Illya: The surviving competitors of the war are always trying to ruin his life and casting curses on him. It took me two weeks to get rid of the paralysis curse!

Rin: We had to have Archer bathe him and change his clothes and everything. Do you have any idea what I had to do to get him to agree to that?

Irisviel: I just wish he'd pick one of you girls already. I've had this engagement ring sitting around since forever.

Sakura: And Archer's also part of the problem. He somehow survived the war, and he still thinks Shirou is a pathetic dumbed-down dweeb-faced super-duper lame version of him.

Irisviel: Wow. Did you have that memorized?

Illya: Things are crazy! We all just want to live happily!

Irisviel: W-what am I supposed to do!?

Illya: We want you to make a magical barrier to surround Shirou wherever he goes. That way no one will be able to hurt him!

Irisviel: Why me? You're a mage too. You all are.

Illya: But you're a really good mage!

Irisviel: As much as it warms my heart to see my daughter placing such trust in me, I'm afraid I must refuse. The boy can't live in a magic bubble the rest of his life. And I too have a life to live, and can't be spending my every waking moment keeping the barrier up. You three are all powerful mages. Magi. Maguses. Whichever is the correct term.

Rin: I told you we shouldn't have asked her.

Illya: I know! We can ask that pretty lady, Luv-

Rin: NO!