Requested by: Midnight49
Current Client: Hassan-i-Sabbah
Irisviel: Don't panic, don't panic...
Hassan-i-Sabbah: We want to say –
Irisviel: Whoa, whoa, don't all talk at once. That's creepy. Just one of you talk, okay?
Zayd: Our death was unnecessarily violent. We are Assassins. The battleground was not fair. Rider had far too many advantages.
Irisviel: Not fair? Even I know this stuff! War isn't fair! The whole point is to find advantages over your enemy! You're Assassins! Nothing you do is fair!
Zayd: It was far too dramatic, unleashing his entire Reality Marble.
Irisviel: Oh, I see. It was the over-the-top theatrics that you don't like?
Asako: It was horrible.
Irisviel: Assassins to the core. Look, all of you were there, you had him surrounded – what did you think he was going to do? Or are you just mad that you didn't last longer?
Zayd: Why are we still talking?
Asako: We will find no sympathy here.
Irisviel: Well, good riddance. You think you have it bad? I've had two separate guys who committed forced suicide come in here. All you did was get speared and trampled to death. Ugh. Anyway, let's make more cookies...