Requested by: BananaMoe21
Current Client: Shirou Emiya Part II
Shirou: Hey, Mom, I've been thinking –
Irisviel: Shirou! The person I've been meaning to see. Sit down, son. We need to have a talk.
Shirou: A-about what?
Irisviel: Just answer me truthfully. Have you gotten yourself adopted into Kirei's family?
Shirou: W-why would I do that!? He's my enemy!
Irisviel: Are you secretly a Ruler-class Servant from a previous Holy Grail War?
Shirou: What are you talking about!?
Irisviel: Well, are you? Hmm?
Shirou:...
Irisviel: And... he's going into shock. *sigh* Just tell me what your complaint is. I'll look into this all later.
Shirou: W-w-well, I w-wanted to s-say I'm t-tired of all this c-c-competition between the g-girls over m-me...
Irisviel: You mean for your affection?
Shirou: Y-yes...
Irisviel: Oh, for the love of – look, it's your fault for getting involved with them all at once.
Shirou: It w-wasn't like that. It h-had to do with the w-war. Th-they just all h-happened to b-be girls...
Irisviel: Dear God, what did I do to deserve this? Just – just choose one of them already! Continue being good friends with the rest, but quit leading them on and figure out what you're going to do with your life!
Shirou: I-I'm not leading them on!
Irisviel: I can feel my blood pressure increasing by the second.
Shirou: Mom, I don't know who to choose!
Irisviel: You're going to have to buckle down and make yourself choose, or I'll choose for you.
Shirou: Mom! You wouldn't!
Irisviel: Oho, wouldn't I? Just watch me.
Shirou: I'll choose! I'll choose!
Irisviel: That's more like it. Now, I don't want to hear one more word about this harem of yours. Is that clear?
Shirou: Yes, Mom.
Irisviel: But don't choose Illya.
Shirou: I wasn't –
Irisviel: Good, good. Now go fight your war or whatever it is you do these days. I've got work to do.