The months following Helga's first day back had been an uphill journey.
It was something only the people close to her noticed, it was steady, subtle and happened little by little. She wasn't as skittish as she had been after the incident, as the months went by, she found herself walking down the school hallway, and though the anxiety was there, she needn't clutch her chest in terror anymore. She had recently began eating in the cafeteria with her friends now, they often sat on the table in the back, away from all the main sources of chaos, and walking in was fine as long as she had a friend with her as she entered. Helga used to utilize her outside pass near daily, but now she only felt overwhelmed once or twice a week. Another major improvement was her reliance on Minnie; she still needed her there, she had imprinted onto the toy and it had become her comfort item, she had to have Minnie with her everywhere that she went. However, what started off as her clutching the lizard to her chest every second of the day had soon evolved into her gently holding it with one arm.
It wasn't perfect, there was no such thing as perfect, and the trauma Helga experienced couldn't be fixed in a couple of months or even a couple of years. She still had regular nightmares, even with Minnie by her side as she slept. There were days where her anxiety heightened to the point where she had to stay home from school for a day or two. Her fear of men hadn't waned in the slightest, as proven when her science teacher snapped at her once in class, triggering a severe panic attack that rendered her unable to finish the school day. Her health was just barely pushing through, her injuries had mostly healed, but it hurt Amelia to remember what the gynecologist had told her:
"She hasn't begun her cycle yet so we can't say for sure," the woman says with a sombre sigh, "but based on just how violent the abuse was, and what damage it did to her, I regret to inform you that Helga will most likely be unable to safely birth children, that is if she can even healthily conceive."
It was horrifying to hear, Amelia remembered the woman claiming Helga had suffered major tearing in her uterus from the abuse, and the previous internal injuries healing on their own had caused strange infections that could only be fixed using prescription medications. That, coupled with the other injuries she had on her hip and genital area from blunt force trauma had made it so the likelihood of her being able to get pregnant were low to the point of her classifying as infertile, and if she did get pregnant, she likely wouldn't be able to carry it full term. Helga was making incredible progress with her mental health, she had even gained some weight over the past few months and begun eating again, so knowing that he had left such a... permanent impact on the rest if her life filled Amelia with a rage and grief that she never thought she could feel.
Explaining this to Helga was the hardest part, having to sit the preteen down and break it to her that she would likely never be able to have her own biological children was something she had never wanted to do, but it was Helga's reaction that broke her heart the most. The girl cried, claiming that while she hadn't given it much thought — understandably, she was twelve at the time — it was hurting her to know that she was never going to have the chance to decide if she wanted her own kids one day or not, the universe had already made that decision for her and it had decided that she wouldn't. It made the girl so sad to know that this was going to follow her for the rest of her life, and even twenty years from now, even if everything else healed and got better, this was her new reality.
Helga had only told one person about this, Lila. She feared how this may affect her life; what if when she was an adult, and if Arnold was out of the picture, no man wanted her because she couldn't have kids? She knew she was too young to be thinking of that, but it terrified her. She already felt ugly and unlovable enough as it is, now she couldn't even do the one thing women were expected to do, how was she going to be loved? Who would find it in them to love her? Lila couldn't adequately answer her question, and only hugged the girl and let her vent.
Yet, even through such devastating news, Helga kept on trying. She didn't seem to notice her own improvement, how happier she was becoming day by day. Seeing Helga actually smile more was making everyone else happier too; she was joining in on conversations more often now, and while she still preferred to sit and let everyone else carry the talk, she could still laugh along or throw in her two cents. Amelia's heart almost burst in pride when Helga invited Phoebe over for the first time, it wasn't as long as when Helga used to come over, but she stayed over long enough to watch a movie and have dinner with them. The same Helga who couldn't even bring herself to text her friends was now inviting them over.
One other improvement was how she navigated her relationship with Arnold. When Helga started reintegrating back into school, while it was obvious that the two were still a couple, they simply didn't do couple things. They made sure to reaffirm to each other that they loved the other, but Helga just didn't feel comfortable with physical affection. She didn't want Arnold to hug her, kiss her, and even holding her hand would sometimes be too much for the girl. It hurt them both, and Helga couldn't understand why it scared her to be touched by the one she knew she loved, but Arnold promised that he wasn't upset with her, and that he would wait until the moment they could share their first kiss together since the incident.
Helga wondered how she was so... lucky? Was that the word? She felt lucky, despite all that had happened; she had an entire support system that was there for her, she had a best friend that would do anything if it mean Helga found recovery easier, a foster mom that loved her like a real mom, and she had a boyfriend that stuck by her side through her lack of affection, in spite of horror stories she had heard of boyfriends leaving their traumatized girlfriends due to them having 'too much baggage'. She even had a kindred spirit in Lila, someone who she could talk to — and who could talk to her — whenever she wanted to vent about something she thought no one else would understand. There were girls that had none of that, that were going through what she was all on their own, with no one to fall back on. She was grateful, but now she just wished everyone else was just as lucky.
She couldn't help but feel lucky as she sat in Slausens with her friends, it had started off as just her, Arnold, Phoebe and Gerald, but the group had conveniently ran into Rhonda and Lila and the two decided to tag along. It had been Helga's thirteenth birthday the day before, making her the first in the group to officially hit her teens. She didn't want a huge celebration, fearing that may be too overwhelming, so on the actual day she had opted to just celebrate it with Amelia, the two ordered some pizza and even baked a cake together, only to spend the day watching movies and playing games together. The day after, Phoebe convinced her to let them take her out, so they'd been spending the day having a belated birthday for Helga.
The initial three brought gifts, Phoebe had gotten Helga a set of fountain pens, Gerald had gotten Helga a bottle of hot pink hair dye, something that got a majorly needed laugh out of the girl, and Arnold had gotten her a fluffy phone case with charms attached. Helga cherished them all (even the hair dye she knew she'd never use) and found herself enjoying their day out. Phoebe had planned for a movie day, but when Helga found herself becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of being in a dark movie theatre, the group decided to just hand around town. When Rhonda realized it was Helga's birthday (or more so the day after), she used her father's debit card to buy Helga an outfit from the nearest designer clothing store there was, and even if it wasn't planned, Helga appreciated it. Lila couldn't bring a gift, so when they got to Slausens she simply offered to pay for Helga's ice cream, an offer Helga couldn't refuse.
The day went well, it was the first time she had really hung out with any of them outside of them outside of school, and as they sauntered through the park, she thought of how much she wanted to do it more often.
"And so I told her oh heck no you didn't say that to me, and y'know what she said?" Rhonda dramatically said, as she practically performed her story.
Gerald snorted, "I sure did Rho-hoe?"
"She said I sure did Rho-hoe— wait, how did you know that?"
"Because you've told us that story so many times that we have it memorized?" Lila sweetly replied, garnering a laugh among the group.
Rhonda scoffed and waved her hand haughtily, "fine, since I'm so uninteresting, how about you all tell us what exciting things you've got going on?"
Without a smidgen of hesitation, Helga removed her cola soda from her mouth and suddenly said, "I've gotta testify against Miriam in court."
There was a resounding surprise among them all, with Lila even letting of a girlish gasp. It was Arnold that looked to her as he stood by her side, tilting his hair and scrunching his brows, "is that alright by you? I thought you were away from her."
Helga shrugged, "Bliss explained it to me, they're trying to strip her of her parental rights and get her some jail time, so I've gotta testify. It's weird, she already isn't allowed to see me, so I guess they've gotta make it all official and stuff, luckily it's in a month or something so I don't have to worry too much right now"
"I hope it goes well for you," Lila said with a clap of her hands, "that way you can be free of the Patakis forever!"
Helga could only groan, "I wish you were right but Olga's been trying to weasel herself back into my life, and since I'm technically a foster I'm scared she going to try and become my legal carer or something." She kicked the dirt below her, an annoyed pout growing on her face, "I don't want her to though, she never cared, I just wanna stay with Bliss."
"I'm sure you'll be able to," Phoebe smiled reassuringly, "as long as Miriam's case goes in your favor, I doubt anyone with the Pataki last name will be able to snatch you up."
The blonde girl found herself grinning in response, Minnie, who she held with her free hand, received a quick squeeze. It was times like this when she was glad she had taken that first step back into math class. She just couldn't imagine being at home right now, locked in her room, wallowing in her own misery. Even if she did still have many problems to deal with, at least she had all of them by her side. Helga went to throw her now empty cola bottle away, and when she came back, she stayed beside Arnold.
The girl looked down, seeing her boyfriend's empty hand next to her now empty hand. As they walked together, all nodding along as Rhonda went on another one of her gossip rambles, Helga could only blink. Her hand shook with desire, but also fear; it had been so long, could she even go and casually do it? How would Arnold feel, would he even accept it? She gulped, trying to fight against all the negative thoughts that were screaming in her ear that this was bad and it would only end badly and hurt her, slowly but surely she moved her hand to Arnolds, before she felt their palms touch. She wanted to pull away, but instead she pushed on, and soon intertwined their fingers.
It had been so long that his hand almost felt foreign, it was a lot rougher than she remembered, perhaps from him helping out around the boarding home so much, and it also felt warm to the touch, a comfortable juxtaposition to her perpetually cold hands. Arnold jumped, his eyes shooting down to see a sight he began to think he'd never see again, Helga's hand holding his. He looked up at her, smiling from ear to ear when he saw her flushed face and nervous eyes. He could feel her shaking, the same way she shook when they first came to school holding hands. He remembered what calmed her, he brought his other hand and gently caressed the top of hers with his thumb. He just barely managed to stay calm, but on the inside Arnold could swear his organs were doing backflips, he hadn't been this happy in so long.
"S-Sorry," Helga forced out, "I don't- it wasn't that bad, I was... scared for nothing—"
"Don't be sorry," Arnold softly replied, "thank you for trusting me again."
Helga found herself lifting his hand to her chest, she tried, but ultimately failed to hide the hot and happy tears from running down her face. As she rest her head on his shoulder, a smile being present on her face, the rest of the group — who had since stepped back to reunite with the two — simply cooed and awed at the duo, leaving the blondes to giggle out a silences to them.
It had been a good day, she spent it having fun with her friends, received a few gifts, had ice cream and was even able to gather up the courage to hold Arnold's hand. The last one made her feel beyond happy, maybe one day she could hug him again, or even kiss him again. She was still not ready for that yet, but today proved that there was a day coming where she would be, and that sent her over the moon. Arnold had agreed to walk her home, and the young couple happily trot down the street, hand in hand as they happily conversed about whatever popped into their heads. It was just like old times, she hadn't felt this normal in months.
When they got to Amelia's front door, Arnold felt a twang of disappointment when Helga's hand let go of his so she could bring her keys from her pocket. Once she got them, she looked up at him, "hey, um... thank you for everything Football Head, I don't really say it enough so... yeah, it means a lot to me."
Arnold smiled, "you're welcome, but I'm just doing what a boyfriend should do."
When she opened the door, she turned back around to face him, "I'll see you on Monday?"
"Sure," Arnold nodded, before taking her hand again and caressing the top with his thumb, "love you."
When he let go, she brought the hand to her cheek as her face turned a soft pink, "hehe, love you more."
With that, Arnold watched as Helga entered the home, and once the door was closed, he walked up the street to the boarding house. Helga walked through the entrance hallway to the living room, where she saw Amelia sitting on the couch. Donning an oversized green sweater with a pair of grey sweatpants and white socks, the woman was looking through what looked to be a set of documents, and when Helga alerted that she was there, Amelia was quick to put them behind her back and hop off the couch, which only made the girl all the more curious.
"Helga, you're finally back! Take a seat for me dear!"
The blonde cautiously sat down, she realized it may not be news that bad, since Amelia was excited to share, but you never know.
Once Helga was seated, Amelia began to speak, "so we have to testify in court on the seventh of May against your mom, and I don't wanna get your hopes up but let's be real, Miriam isn't beating that case," Amelia then slumped back onto the couch, "now I'm already fostering you, so Miriam winning or losing her case won't really change your current living situation. However, I realized that it may be better for you to have a more permanent solution, I wanted to get these for your birthday but my Murphian luck made it so I could only get them today, tada!"
She suddenly brought the documents from behind her hand, though Helga was a little overwhelmed. She looked over the sheets, most of them being obscured by the others, then looking up at Amelia, "what are they."
"Adoption papers!" Amelia excitedly squealed, "I talked it over with my attorneys and since you have no godparents, and Olga's never been listed as a carer of yours, once Miriam loses her legal custody of you, you then become the responsibility of the state, meaning I can legally adopt you!"
As Amelia went on to ramble about how amazing this was, Helga could only stare into the void. Many thoughts were rushing through her brain like a tsunami of feelings, and she couldn't bring herself to focus on just one of them. Amelia was so wrapped up in her own rambling that she didn't notice the girl crouching over in her spot, holding Minnie close to her.
She did however freeze when she heard those signature soft hiccups, looking down to see the girl crying. Helga's head lifted upwards to make eye contact, and before she could even ask what was wrong, Helga asked, "do y-you really- really want to adopt me?"
Amelia nodded, "of course, I would love to. We don't have to though, if that's not what you want—"
"No, I d-do, it's just... I'm- I'm so happy, this is what I wan- wanted, today been s-such a good day!"
Helga didn't know why she was crying, was she really that happy? These past few months, even with the bright spots had been so miserable for her, the constant nightmares, the anxiety attacks, and dreary days where her depression hit the hardest, but today? Everything had gone right today, she got to spent time with her friends, she got presents, she showed affection to her boyfriend, and now the woman who had helped her more than any other adult she knew was telling her that if her mother lost her parental rights she was more than ready to adopt her as her own child. She hadn't been flooded with so many positive emotions in so long, the inordinate amount of joy she felt was near overwhelming.
She pulled Amelia into a hug, and as she sobbed into the woman's hug, muttering a set of thank yous, she found happiness in knowing that for the very first time in over half a year, Helga ended up having a really really good day.
May 7th. Helga wished she could just fast forward to the verdict.
As she sat in the courthouse, watching as Amelia was pulled up to the witness stand and questioned by both the prosecution and defence, she could only grumble at how much she hated this. It was the third day of the trial, and considering how much they had gotten done they were predicting that it was most likely going to be the last day too. Though the nervousness of having to recount her story on a podium in front of a dozen people, many of which were strangers, many of which were reporters, and only few of which were familiars, the tedium of waiting for that moment was beginning to overshadow her anxiety by a major margin.
Despite the sensitive nature of the trial — a huge chunk of the case revolved around child rape for goodness' sake — they had allowed the media in for whatever reason, so she knew most of the trial was on the internet, and that today would be the most sensational, since the now infamous Helga Pataki would take the stand. She found it weird, realizing that she was sort of famous; luckily most people had boundaries, no one tried to find her or interview her, if people recognized her they kept a distance, the few that approached often offering to buy her and Amelia stuff for free. She wasn't a celebrity, but she was known, people talked about her, whether they were praising her, condemning her family or wishing her the best. Rhonda joked about her becoming 'America's Child', but she wasn't all that wrong. Even then, knowing how much of a media sensation this trial was still wasn't an easy pill to swallow.
Helga looked over at her mother, who sat there, looking to Amelia who was still talking on the stand. Miriam looked exhausted, her skin was as white as snow and her eyes looked nearly sunken in, the bags underneath them were dark and heavy and she had lost a considerable amount of weight. They had tried to make her look presentable for the train, she wore a white dress shirt with a black blazer and a black pencil skirt, and they had attempted to cover her up with makeup and fix how now unruly hair, and yet she still looked like a walking corpse. Her eyes darted around to find her older sister, who was clutching a packet of tissues in her hand the way Helga clutched Minnie.
The girl glared, of course even through all of this, Olga looked so positively pretty. Even when she looked tired and unwell herself, as she shook with worry and her eyes were a loud red from crying, Olga was still pretty. It annoyed her, Helga looked sickly, Miriam looked half dead, Bob was actually dead... but Olga was the only Pataki that got to leave October 8th with any semblance of her beauty. She wore a long sleeved white dress, that reached down to her ankle, and a pair of black booties. A man was sat beside her, with an arm wrapped around her, probably her newest boy toy.
Olga had testified the day before, she told of a life far different from Helga's, one where her mother was actually active and her father was a good man, conveniently claiming that things only got bad when Helga was born. As much as she wanted to believe Olga was being purposefully malicious, it was more likely that the clueless idiot didn't see the implications of her word. All her testimony seemed to do was establish that at some point Miriam was a decent mother, but it didn't do much to prove she didn't neglect Helga.
Helga barely processed what was going on, it had been about forty-five minutes until Amelia was done; the woman had spoken of her experiences as Helga's school psychologist, the stories Helga would tell her about her home life, as well as Helga's recovery process since living with her. She was asked of the things she had done for her, such as the clothes she bought, and the care she provided Helga as she began her recovery journey. To the entire world, Amelia Bliss came off as the perfect hero, it was as if the universe knew of how lacklustre of a mother Miriam was, and so it gifted Helga with Amelia as an apology.
Miriam could only shamefully look down, her mind filled with feelings of regret and envy as Amelia went on and on about how her and Helga had been, the woman told stories of tucking her daughter in and buying her daughter clothes, playing games with her daughter and having fun trips with her daughter. That woman had become Helga's mother, and Miriam didn't like it. She knew everyone would tell her she had no right to feel that way, and that she had no right to be upset that Amelia cared for Helga better than she did, but she couldn't help it. She just couldn't.
The prosecution and defence both attempted to use Amelia differently; the prosecution argued that Amelia was proof of the sort of mother Miriam should have been, and that in only a few months she had shown Helga more love than her biological mother had her entire life. They argued that if Miriam couldn't even be half of the mother Amelia was, then she shouldn't be allowed to be one. They argued that Amelia would have never allowed what Miriam did, because unlike Miriam, Amelia loved Helga. Miriam tried to hide her anger, they were wrong, she loved her daughter... she knew she did...
The defence argued that Miriam was capable of caring for Helga as Amelia did, with Olga being proof of that. They argued that alcoholism and battered wife syndrome had made it so Miriam's motherly abilities were stunted, and that if she were given a chance to start over, especially now that Bob was gone, she could prove just how capable she was.
After some more professional arguing among attorneys, it was now time for the reckoning. Helga was asked to come to the witness stand.
There was a lot of care expected to be put into this, as the young, now teenager was walked up to the stand by an older member of the courthouse, her eyes stayed glued to the floor. The entire court watched as the frail little girl plopped onto the seat that was too big for, having her chair pushed closer to the mic by the woman that escorted her. She clutched Minnie close to her chest, trying to calm herself with steady breaths. She looked up, managing to catch sight of Amelia, who she meekly waved at, with the woman happily waving back, giving her a thumbs up and mouthing 'you can do it!'.
Helga heavily exhaled, remembering why she had to do this. All the prosecution really needed was Helga's testimony, then Miriam would be gone out of her life forever, and she never had to worry about her again. They all waited as she settled herself, and when the judge asked her if she was ready, Helga nodded, mumbling an endearing 'yeah'.
"Name?" Asked the prosecution, who were going first.
"Helga Geraldine Pataki."
"Age?"
"Thirteen."
"Okay, what is your relationship with the defendant?"
Helga almost rolled her eyes, but she knew she had to stay composed, "she's my mom."
From that moment, like earlier a majority of the questioning was boring, both the prosecution and the defence asked her questions that she felt they already knew the answer too, or questions about her relationship before his assaults began, which could all amount to, "we didn't like each other and always argued."
The defence was clearly struggling, they tried to argue that Miriam tried to improve her relationship with her daughter but she was too hostile, then they tried to argue that based on Miriam occasionally making Helga inedible lunches and dinner that she wanted to be a good mom and she just had issues, and then — their most unpopular argument to date — they tried to argue that Helga was an unruly problem child that was hard to control. That one made the girl close in on herself a little, something that didn't go unnoticed by the jury, and the media cameras.
It was clear that they were grasping at straws, and their fate was finally sealed when Helga was asked to recount the events surrounding the first day Bob had raped her.
The girl took in a deep breath, pausing for a minute or two, before she told her story. She told of a night that went like usual, Bob yelled at her and berated her while her mother lay unconscious on the couch. She had slept well when she was suddenly awoken by her father, who had picked her up, she was still sleepy, and her school alarm hadn't gone of yet. She spoke of how he dropped her onto his bed, how he looked as though he hadn't slept all night and how he reeked of alcohol. Those in the courthouse could only listen in horror as she recounted in detail how her father fondled her, stripped her and assaulted her right there on the bed he should have shared with his wife. Miriam's head could only onto the desk in front of her as Helga began recounting the worst part of it all.
"Then I... I heard footsteps," she managed, trying not to cry. She had been warned against crying, the defence could claim she was emotionally manipulating the jury and have her testimony dismissed, "then the door opened and... it was my mom- the defendant," Helga looked over to Miriam, who couldn't bring herself to share eye contact with her, "I-I screamed at her, and begged her to help... I was all like 'mom please! Miriam, tell him to stop, please! Call the police!', she let out this weird scream gasp when she saw what was happening."
Miriam rocked in place.
"She was then all like 'B get off her, that's our kid B, it's wrong', I thought she was gonna help, like c-call the police or something... dad turned to her and yelled, he went 'shut the hell up and get the fuck out!', excuse my language, that's what he said." Helga then paused, and took in a deep breath. Helga, Miriam and even Olga knew what she was going to say next, neither wanted her too, but she had to, "then... mom nodded, she just turned around a-and walked off," she managed to say through gritted teeth.
There was a loud silence in the room, only the voice of the prosecution could be heard, "did she check on you or make sure you were okay after the fact?"
Helga shook her head, a loud and tearful choke from Olga filled the room, "she just... told me to enjoy school when I walked passed... I-I told her I kept bleeding and she just offered me a pad and finished her glass."
"So the defendant not only let Robert Pataki assault you, but she failed to administer any medical assistance and didn't try to get you any medical help for your obvious internal bleeding?"
"No... just a pad..."
It was a slam dunk from that point forward. Perhaps if Helga hadn't testified, they could have argued that Miriam was simply an alcoholic victim herself who was capable of caring for Helga now that that common denominator of Bob was out of the way. However, with the evidence of the cleaned bedsheets, underwear and clothing that she had planned to throw away, her own confessions and Helga confirming that she actively ignored what was going on, it came as no surprise when Miriam Pataki was found guilty for the active neglect and indirect abuse of Helga Pataki. Sentenced to a two year prison sentence and three years of probation — something that caused major controversy in the media — she was made to legally forfeit any and all rights she had as Helga's mother, when it was time for her to make her state, Miriam couldn't stand up. Her voice was empty, it lacked it's typical slurring nature, but incarceration had forced her sober.
"I want to say that I deeply apologize for my actions, and while I am not owed forgiveness, I want everyone to know I am genuinely sorry. I failed... I failed to be the mother that a child deserves, and in my own cowardice and lust for hiding away from the truth, I failed to protect my own baby, I failed to do the one thing expected from a mother. I can never rectify this, I can only hope that sobriety and rehabilitation can help me on my path to a new start. I'm sorry Helga, I'm sorry for being the mother I was, and I'm sorry for letting it get to this point. I have nothing more to say."
When asked if she had any sort of victim impact statement, Helga shrugged, only saying, "I'm glad you stopped drinking, Miriam."
This is by far my least favorite chapter, no matter what I wrote it felt rushed, but I didn't want to spend a thousand years on this so here. Sorry, it genuinely might be the worst one of the fic haha.
Helga's testimony was a short section, but I remembered in the first three chapters I established the events of the first assault and October 8th in quite a bit of detail, and I personally hate when stories reiterate what the reader already knows, so I kept it short and sweet.
Next Chapter will be the final one, and it will follow the aftermath of everything.