Requested by: Midnight49

Current Client: Astolfo

Irisviel: Oh, great, another one of these. I think it's a girl but I can't be sure...

Astolfo: Hi!

Irisviel: They don't look terribly distraught... um, pardon my asking, but are you a boy or a girl?

Astolfo:... Yes.

Irisviel: AHEM.

Astolfo: I'm a boy, silly!

Irisviel: Right. Of course. Silly me.

Astolfo: I heard there was a funny lady giving people advice, so I decided to check it out. Saber of Red said you made great cookies. Can I have some?

Irisviel: No.

Astolfo: Assassin of Red's Master didn't really like you. He said you kept asking dumb questions.

Irisviel: My apologies.

Astolfo: He said you were a homunculus, like Sieg. I didn't think it was true. But you are a homunculus, aren't you? You don't look very much like Sieg. But you're a lot older than him. He's not going to live very long. How long are you going to live? You must have already lived a long time...

Five Hours Later

Astolfo:... and now Berserker of Black's going to marry her Master, and my Master thinks it's the silliest thing ever...

Irisviel: Excuse me, but when are you going to make your complaint?

Astolfo: My complaint?

Irisviel: Yes, the reason you came here.

Astolfo: Ha ha! I didn't come to complain! I just wanted to check this all out!

Irisviel: Uh-huh. Look, you're going to have to leave. I have clients waiting, and you're wasting my time.

Astolfo: But I don't want to leave!

Irisviel: Look, I'll bake you cookies if you leave. How's that?

Astolfo: Sure!

Irisviel: Darn it. I'm out of sugar.