Irisviel Answers Complaints

by 16-horses

The characters of the Fate saga certainly have to put up with a lot, but Irisviel von Einzbern has decided to receive the complaints of Masters and Servants alike and hopefully address their issues. Predictably, she has her work cut out for her. Reader participation is encouraged! Latest chapter: EMIYA Part II, featuring Mysterious Heroine X.

25. Sir Tristan

Requested by: ZenoZen

Current Client: Sir Tristan

Irisviel: Huh. Is he sleepwalking?

Tristan: No.

Irisviel: Aah! Oh! You're awake! Uh, sorry about that. You just look so sad – and beautiful.

Tristan: I'm often told that.

Irisviel: Uhh... what's your complaint?

Tristan: I cannot marry the woman I love.

Irisviel: Aw, sorry to hear it. What's in the way?

Tristan: The king.

Irisviel: Wait... I thought Lancelot was involved with the king's beloved, not you.

Tristan: I'm not talking about King Arthur.

Irisviel: Ah, that clears it up. Sorry. Go on.

Tristan: Ours was not even a natural love. It was the effect of a love potion.

Irisviel: Oh, those pesky love potions. Who gave it to you?

Tristan: I don't know.

Irisviel: Oo, I've think I've bitten off a little more than I can chew, taking on this job. So you want me to... what?

Tristan: Resolve me with the king. Reconcile my wife with me. Reunite me with Iseult.

Irisviel: Well, how am I supposed to do all that?

Tristan: I don't know.

Irisviel: You're kind of an airhead, you know.

Tristan: Thank you.

Irisviel: I can hardly tell if he was being sarcastic or not.