Requested by: ZenoZen
Current Client: Sir Agravain
Irisviel: Oh my, I'm getting all the knights today. What's your issue?
Agravain: The king has lied to us all. It is not only shocking, but scandalous as well.
Irisviel: Why, what'd she lie about? Oops! I didn't mean to let that slip. Pretend you didn't hear anything!
Agravain: I already know. That's the lie.
Irisviel: Wha – you – you mean you know King Arthur is actually a – you know...
Agravain: Yes.
Irisviel: Uh-huh... so you're mad that Arthur – er, Arturia – pretended to be a man?
Agravain: I believe I made that perfectly obvious.
Irisviel: Goodness, everyone these days is so touchy. But it was for the good of the kingdom. Don't you see?
Agravain: All I see is that I now have a huge personal dilemma to work through.
Irisviel: I'm a complaint-receiver, not a counselor...
Agravain: My mother wants me to destroy the king. I wish to help her. But after enduring my mother's wiles and manipulation... I cannot bear the mere presence of a woman. I do not hate the king; I love her, after a fashion. But this – this cannot be reconciled.
Irisviel: Ugh, why didn't I decide to be the coffee lady or something? Obviously you're going to just have to overlook the fact that she's a woman. I mean, this is one woman you can love. She's not like your mother.
Agravain:...
Irisviel:...
Agravain: I knew I shouldn't have asked a woman for advice.
Irisviel: Wh-what!? Hey! You get back here! That's not – aaargh!