Irisviel seems to be getting quite OOC lately... but seriously, anyone would get snarky and cranky if they had had to deal with a fraction of all the nonsense she's been faced with.
Requested by: Manu259
Current Client: Sieg
Irisviel: Well, what do you know. Another homunculus. Ah, well, he seems moderately self-controlled, so maybe I won't have to hit the coffee pot again. If I get any more caffeine in my bloodstream I'll blow my ears off.
Sieg: He-hello?
Irisviel: Hello, please come in. I don't bite. At least, not usually.
Sieg: Um, this is where you register complaints, right?
Irisviel: Yes, it is.
Sieg: Well, I wanted to say that – well, people don't seem to like me. I mean, nobody does. Everyone hates me, and I don't know why.
Irisviel: Oh, dear boy, I don't hate you.
Sieg: Are you – crying?
Irisviel: *sniff* I can't help it. It's so sad...
Sieg: Um, sorry?
Irisviel: No, don't be. I'm all right. I have gummy worms.
Sieg: Gummy worms...?
Irisviel: Yes. Anyway, er, why do you think people don't like you? Pardon my bluntness; it's been a really, really long day.
Sieg: I don't know. Maybe they think I'm not heroic enough.
Irisviel: Well, you don't have to be a hero, you know.
Sieg: I know, but –
Irisviel: Look. Is there anyone, ANYONE, at all who doesn't hate you? Anyone?
Sieg: Well... there's this girl...
Irisviel: Oh, wonderful! You've got a girl! Does she like you?
Sieg: I think so. I like her.
Irisviel: Then I'd say focus on your relationship with her. If you two love each other, you don't need the rest of the hard, cruel, hating world.
Sieg: Er, you seem to be assuming certain things –
Irisviel: If you need any advice on courtship, I'd be more than happy to oblige.
Sieg: I think I lost her...