Apparently Irisviel is indestructible.
Requested by: The Last Order
Current Client: King Hassan
Irisviel: Note to self: install underground bunker for protection against anti-world Noble Phantasms. Now, to get the rest of this place cleaned up...
Hassan: Speak.
Irisviel: Well, Illya, I see you've gone against your mother's wishes and gotten a mecha. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: if I say no to mechas, then it's no mecha. You realize this means the end of your allowance.
Hassan: What dost thou mean?
Irisviel: Oh, don't play innocent with me. Either that's a mecha, or you're hoping that I've forgotten Halloween is still several months away. Don't go looking to get any free candy out of me. You try this every year, you know, and I'm not as foolish as you think.
Hassan: Dost thou believe my true name to be Illya? Such insolence. Now, hand over thy head.
Irisviel: I'm not warning you again, Illya! Knock it off!
Hassan: I AM NOT –
Irisviel: Oh, wait a minute, you're a client, aren't you? I beg your pardon, I'm not feeling very well right now...
Hassan:...
Irisviel: Well, don't just stand there. Please, tell me what you want.
Hassan: Dost thou seek to diminish mine authority here? Such utter disrespect. I command thee: hand over thy head.
Irisviel: Well, I suppose I don't need to try and get myself killed again... please forgive me. I did not intend any disrespect. I mistook you for my daughter. Please show mercy. I would really very much rather keep my head.
Hassan: Thou appearest to be truly repentent. I shall be lenient, just this once.
Irisviel: Thank God for small mercies. Now, how may I help th- you?
Hassan: Mine children hath failed me. I hath watched them fall, each and every one of them. There is nothing left to the Hashashin.
Irisviel: Aw, I'm sorry. Would a cookie make you feel better?
Hassan: What?
Irisviel: Never mind.
Hassan: I feel, perhaps, that the time is ripe for a new Hashashin to rise.
Irisviel: Well, why not?
Hassan: Is thou questioning me?
Irisviel: No, no, not at all. Just agreeing with you. Please, go on.
Hassan: I desire to ask thee where I might find new children to follow mine path.
Irisviel: Hmm, well, I can't say I do. But there's a lot of strange characters walking around lately. You might try asking them.
Hassan: I see. I believe that shall be sufficient.
Irisviel: I'm glad I could help, then. Good luck with your Hashashin thing.
Hassan: Farewell, homunculus.
Irisviel: And to you.
Irisviel:...
Irisviel: Why can't I ever meet anyone normal?
When you mistake a giant, skull-masked man for your nine-year-old daughter, you know you're screwed.