Requested by: KnightSpark

Current Client: Fiore Forvedge Yggdmillennia

Irisviel: Oh woe. It's the sister. And she's adorable.

Fiore: Excuse me, Mrs. Von Einzbern?

Irisviel: I bet she has magitech spider legs or something.

Fiore: Are you talking to me?

Irisviel: No, I'm talking to the little voices in my head. Pray give your complaint.

Fiore: *winces* Well, I don't like to call it a complaint...

Irisviel: Here it comes. Brother issues.

Fiore: It's about the Holy Grail.

Irisviel:...

Irisviel: I would have prefered brother issues.

Fiore: It's that – well, you see, due to a malfunction in my magical circuits when I was born, I've been crippled and wheelchair-bound all my life. So I thought that, if I happened to win the Holy Grail War, I would wish for my legs to be strong and healthy, but still maintain my magic circuits.

Irisviel: That is a gloriously simple and straightforward wish, and I don't see any way the Holy Grail could interpret that as global destruction.

Fiore: *goggles*

Irisviel: When you've been possessed by the very corrupt sentience of the Holy Grail itself, you learn a lot of things.

Fiore: Ah... yes. Um. Well, then I had a talk with my Servant, and he told me his wish was to be immortal again.

Irisviel: I've stared immortality in the face, and let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Fiore: He has been immortal before and he liked it, just so you know.

Irisviel: Eh, no accounting for taste.

Fiore: It's because it's something that his parents bestowed upon him. In this day and age, it is all he has left of them, and to lose it is to deny them and who they made him to be. Also, he was very devoted to his life's work of teaching heroes, and I think he misses that.

Irisviel: Okay, so you both have adorably sappy wishes. What's the problem?

Fiore: His wish is so... I don't know. Grand scale. Larger scope. If his wish was granted, he would be able to help and train so many people. I just want to walk. I feel so... selfish.

Irisviel: What does he think?

Fiore: Oh, he fully supports me – he actually thinks his wish is selfish. But at least it would benefit others. Mine only really benefits myself for whatever amount of time I'm on this earth.

Irisviel: So you're all depressed about that?

Fiore: Yes.

Irisviel: Here's how it is. I've talked with your brother, and he makes you sound like a wonderful sister. He said you were the head of your family, but you don't want to be, right?

Fiore: But someone has to! Caules doesn't want to be either, and he – he's not that good with magic.

Irisviel: So why be mages at all? Seriously, mage families are nothing but big ol' disasters. Take the Tohsakas. Or the Matous. Or mine.

Fiore: I can't just do that. I have obligations.

Irisviel: They may complain now, but you'll all be much happier for it, I'm sure. You'll all have a much lower chance of being killed in horrible ways. Is just being normal people really such a terrible concept?

Fiore: Er...

Irisviel: Think it over. Eventually you'll come to realize I'm always right.

Fiore: Weren't you the one who suggested to Caules that he marry Berserker of Black? Because I don't know if you were right about that.

Irisviel: Hey, I just told him what she wanted. It'd have penetrated his skull sooner or later. And I am gonna see one happy wedding before I die, dang it.

Fiore: And... how often have you tried?

Irisviel: Oh, you have no idea. There's Shirou and Saber, Shirou and Rin, Shirou and Sakura, Tristan and – wait, no, not them. Just Shirou then. Heh, I'm pretty obsessed, aren't I?

Fiore: I'm just... going to excuse myself.