Okay, issues on what to call Kiritsugu in this thing. The wiki says EMIYA, but I already used that name for Fate/Stay Night Archer. And who knows, they might appear together in a future chapter. He's also not the normal Kiritsugu (named such) who appeared in the first chapter, so I'm going for the middle ground and just calling him Emiya. If you want to look up the character, look up EMIYA Assassin.
Requested by: Guest
Current Client: Kiritsugu Emiya (Assassin)
Irisviel: He seems like a real piece of work.
Emiya: *removes hood*
Irisviel: *goggles*
Emiya: Is this the complaint receiving center?
Irisviel: You – wha- you don't – I thought – aaah!
Emiya: I see. I was mistaken. *turns to leave*
Irisviel: WAIT!
Emiya: What is it?
Irisviel: K-Kiritsugu! It's you! You came again! Where'd you get that outfit? I like your tan.
Emiya: I don't know you, homunculus.
Irisviel: *sobbing* My own husband is calling me that now. Why, cruel world?
Emiya: I'm not married. Why would I marry a homunculus anyway?
Irisviel: You know, I never got a clear answer from you on that. Why did you marry me?
Emiya: You're one of the Einzburns, aren't you?
Irisviel: You know that! Kiritsugu, why don't you remember me? What about Illya, and all our good times together? What about the Fourth Holy Grail War?
Emiya: I worked alone in the Fourth Holy Grail War. I have no wife and no allies, nor do I need them.
Irisviel: OH. You're that Kiritsugu.
Emiya: You are delusional. You should not be holding this job.
Irisviel: No, no, I'm good. What did you come here for?
Emiya: I was told I could find information on targets here.
Irisviel: What? Who told you – *gasps* Mysterious Heroine!
Emiya: I'm currently seeking out the Grail's vessel. Do you know who it is, and where I can find them?
Irisviel: …
Irisviel: *pained squeaking*
Emiya: If you're not going to help me, just say so. There's no need to go on squeaking.
Irisviel: I don't know! The vessel could be anyone – anywhere! I really wouldn't know. Why don't you ask around? Ask around!
Emiya: What... are you doing?
Irisviel: AAAH! Ah, nothing, ha ha. Erm, would you mind helping me open the door to my secret underground bunker? Bit heavy, it is.
Emiya: Why do you have a secret underground bunker?
Irisviel: Oh, you know, nuclear fallout, Gates of Babylon, murderous amnesiac husbands...
Emiya: All I want is information. Stop referring to me as your husband already... although I am finding my eyes are strangely drawn to you. I wonder what this is.
Irisviel: It's either love or killing intent. Amazing how often those are mistaken for each other. Maybe I should just leave him to Caster. He's technically not my Kiritsugu.
Emiya: *pulls out knife*
Irisviel: But this is most certainly my dying day. PAPER NINJA! *starts throwing files at Kiritsugu*
Emiya: ?
Irisviel: UNLIMITED PAPERCUT WORKS!
Emiya: Well, she can't be the Grail's vessel. Even it draws limits on insanity.
Irisviel: Whew, successfully scared off my hubby.
Irisviel: I really hope that was the right one.
Yes, I do know why they married. But considering the exact reasons, I don't know if marriage was completely necessary. I'm glad they did marry, though. XD
