RunningOutofPens: Not sure if this is a request or just a comment. If it's a request, please specify.
Guiseppe: I don't do Miyuverse, and Angra Mainyu has had his day.
Requested by: Tyomcha
Current Client: Kid Gil, ft. Gilgamesh
Irisviel: *snoring on her desk*
*door bangs open*
Irisviel: Aah! Oh, ah. Ahem. W-welco-
Irisviel: Oh no.
Gilgamesh: Out of my way, brat!
Kid Gil: What I have to say is more important! Quit shoving!
Irisviel: Oh my heck, they actually did it.
Gilgamesh: Meat doll! You will serve me again!
Irisviel: Um, what about the kid? I-I suppose I should offer my congratulations...
Gilgamesh: On what? Speak sense, homunculus!
Irisviel: On your marriage to Arturia...
Everyone: …
Gilgamesh: Has she... finally accepted my proposal!? What did you hear!? Tell me everything!
Irisviel: Hey, you'd know better than I, if you've already got a ten-year-old son...
Everyone again: …
Gilgamesh: YOU... DARE...
Kid Gil: Excuse me, he's not my dad. And Arturia's not my mom.
Irisviel: Oh! Uh, pardon me, I just naturally assumed –
Gilgamesh: If we are quite done...
Irisviel: Yes, yes. Ah, do relate your grievances.
Kid Gil: I'm a jerk.
Gilgamesh: I'm a brat.
Irisviel: *chokes on her coffee*
Irisviel: You sure you don't have it backward? Not that I'm calling the child a brat – you're much more agreeable than a certain other blond 'kid' I had in here recently.
Kid Gil: No, I'm him. He's me all grown up and with attitude problems.
Gilgamesh: And he refuses to show me proper respect.
Irisviel: But you're the same person!
Kid Gil: Hardly. He's a tyrant! I would never rule like that!
Gilgamesh: Keep it up, punk, and I'll make sure you never rule at all.
Kid Gil: I'll kill myself before I ever turn into you!
Irisviel: Gilgamesh, you do realize that if you kill your younger self, you will also cease to exist, don't you.
Kid Gil: We have different bodies, so I'll be the only one to die. And if I don't grow up, then I won't turn out like him, so you won't have two evil kings running around.
Irisviel: And now I have children talking about suicide. Don't. Please don't.
Gilgamesh: Well, you can see the problem. He's such a little goody-two-shoes. Everyone loves him.
Irisviel: Well, yeah. Look at him. He's adorable.
Gilgamesh: I am the King of Heroes! The Oldest Hero of history! I am the one they should love, and I am the one they should fear!
Irisviel: But you're just obnoxious.
Gilgamesh: Do I have to teach you some manners, meat doll!?
Irisviel: You tried that once.
Kid Gil: See! This is what I'm talking about! How did I get to be such a jerk!?
Gilgamesh: Childhood is a waste of time! Don't speak to me until you're all grown up!
Irisviel: QUIET!
Irisviel: Just face up to the facts! You! Gilgamesh! You're a jerk! And you know it! And you! Child Gil! Oh my gosh, you're perfect. Yep, that's pretty much what it is. You were perfect, and then you wrecked it. If you two can't make up, then just stay out of each other's way and stay out of my way! Out! Out!
Irisviel: *bodily shoves the Gils out*
Gilgamesh: I will not stand –
Irisviel: NEXT!