Let me just say, I have no idea how this guy talks, so I'm basically bluffing my way through this chapter. I does me best.
Requested by: hyperomegasonic26
Current Client: Lev Lainur Flauros
Irisviel: It's too much to ask that I get a normal client. He looks fairly normal, but if experience has taught me anything, it's that everyone in this place is crazy, whether they wear it on their sleeve or no. Hello, sir, and what can I do for you.
Lev: Hmm, you do look familiar. Have we met somewhere about Chaldea?
Irisviel: Maybe, but it wouldn't have been me.
Lev: Indeed.
Irisviel: So, what is it? Your Servant thinks you're a jerk? You have complaints about another Master's conduct? You're trying to destroy humanity but it won't lie still and let you do the job?
Lev: Mm, am I correct in assuming anything we say here remains in the strictest confidentiality?
Irisviel: Mostly. I won't talk if you won't.
Lev. Excellent.
Irisviel: I got chills when you said that.
Lev: It's not so much as a complaint over what did or did not happen. I merely seek an answer which has eluded me through all my research.
Irisviel: Research on what, may I ask? That's become an inherently sinister word in my line of work.
Lev: Why do humans wish to live?
Irisviel: Uhh...
Lev: Specifically, why do they wish to live even when their very existence was a futile effort from the start?
Irisviel: Are you freaking kidding me.
Lev: I beg your pardon.
Irisviel: You know, I had this other client...
Lev: I thought you and your clients spoke in confidence.
Irisviel: Mostly.
Lev: Well, now you've just piqued my curiosity.
Irisviel: Let me guess. You tried to wipe out humanity, only for them to, shall we say, enthusiastically push back against your plans, and now you're confused at this show of resistance and don't understand why they rejected the, ahem, "salvation" you had to offer them.
Lev: My stars, she's psychic.
Irisviel: No, I've just seen a thing or two. You wouldn't happen to know a certain demonic gentleman by the name of – the name – named – you know, I never actually got his name. But he was an... interesting-looking soul.
Lev: Could you mean Goetia? That is certainly something else.
Irisviel: Maybe. But he talked a lot like you. Couldn't understand why humanity couldn't just roll over and die.
Lev: Well, why couldn't it?
Irisviel: If you want a philosophical discussion on existentialism, this is not the place. I'm essentially what amounts to this place's HR department.
Lev: Human Resources?
Irisviel: Homunculus Resources.
Lev: As in mana donors?
Irisviel: I should have thought about that a while longer before I said it.