Chapter 49

Part 1 - 11/22/2023

Each breath is quicker than the last. Each step makes the next one more difficult. Each movement makes the pain worse. But as much as it hurts, everything else feels better than 2 months ago. The sunny blue sky along with the fully bloomed trees and the peacefulness of this place brought back the familiarity, the normality, the way everything should- "uhh…sss"

"Kato! no!" Nadia commanded but failed to get Kato to stop chasing the squirrel. Running after it is definitely a bad idea. Waiting for it to come back didn't take long but long enough to misunderstand why it came running back, barking. Thank goodness it listens to Amy and thank goodness that guy is smart enough to run not walk. "Who's that?"

"no one"

No one could mean it's just another guy looking for a date but what was he apologizing for? "What does he want?"

"nothing, just talking"

That could be true. That guy could be apologizing for bothering her after getting rejected. But it's daytime not night time. Kato doesn't bark at strangers unless it thinks they're a threat. "Do you know him?" Nadia asked, knowing how crazy it is to think that Kato would understand but getting 1 bark could mean that it does. Dogs are smart. Cocoa was the same way, barking to indicate yes. "Is he a bad guy?" It might not recognize him but dogs do have powerful sense of smell. Two barks is a definite yes. "I think we should follow him." He's very far away but it's not too late. "He could be stalking us." It's not impossible so why doesn't she think so? Even Kato wants to.

"Stop…sss, Kato, sit"

Just like Cocoa, Kato seems to be a sensitive one too. It's moaning like it's apologizing for earlier. Holding on to the leash earlier might have injured her palm but it didn't injure her knee so why does she need to sit down on the bench like an elderly. "you okay?"

"Yeaa, just sore"

For someone who jogs every morning, knee pain is inevitable. Leg pain is too. But if it hurts, then why was she jogging earlier, not fast but still. "Let me see" Nadia said, then realized she was right after Amy tried to prevent her from looking at her leg. This time, it's not difficult to tell that Amy is hiding something since she's wearing long pants in this 80 degree weather which didn't seem odd before but now does. Fear of getting sunburn and attracting creeps are logical but those aren't the only reasons. "What happened?"

(Sigh) The scratches on the palm and the bruise on the knee can be explained with a simple lie but the bandage around the leg would be difficult. Amy had no intention of letting anyone know but now there is a reason to let Nadia know in case she lets Lucy know. Accidents happen but Lucy might not see it that way since she's the one who wanted to take Kato back from Uncle Nick because having a dog adds to the security. It's not Kato's fault but she's still not sure how it started. A walk around the neighborhood suddenly turned into a dog fight. Kato also got bitten but wasn't seriously hurt. The apology from the owner a moment ago was to make sure no police report was filed and he's not getting sued since his dog wasn't on a leash and he couldn't control his dog. "so don't tell her, she will break his leg and she'll kill his dog."

"But…this is just, she wouldn't."

"It's not a chihuahua. It's an infected Cujo." That's exaggerated but it is a dangerous guard dog that Lucy will have no regrets on killing it. "And she will blame herself"

It is crazy to think that Lucy would. That's because Nadia doesn't know about Ezz. Not much is known about her since Lucy refused to talk about it other than taking the blame for her death. But Faith knows, not much but she knows that Ezz is Lucy's forgotten ex and she passed away during an unsuccessful brain surgery that is no fault of Lucy's. But Lucy blamed herself for not remembering her because if she had a year ago, she would've been able to get her the best surgeons. The delay of treatment made it worse. That's true but who's to say that the outcome wouldn't be the same? It was Ezz who chose not to do anything about it because her mother had the same illness. Surgery and chemotherapy couldn't heal her mother. It was Ezz who knew that some day she could die like her mother did so she chose to spend more time with her son rather than take the risk. It was Ezz who chose not to tell her brother until she could no longer hide it. Despite the reasons given, nothing could make Lucy see that there was nothing she could've done to change the outcome. But Faith was right. Forgiveness is crucial and so is support, understanding and a whole lot of patience. Thanks to Will who is still in a coma but showing signs of improvement. So as long as that continues and no one else is getting hurt, Lucy will stop thinking that she's bad luck. Nadia doesn't need to know about Ezz or Lucy's issues. All she needs to know is that more problems won't help with Lucy's memory.

"Don't tell anyone, not even Holly" That needs to be said now that Holly has moved in. As long as she doesn't say, keeping it from Holly won't be difficult. The only one who already knows is CJ. Keeping it from her was impossible. But getting her to understand why Lucy can't know wasn't. It is just an unfortunate incident. CJ didn't find anything suspicious about the owner and agreed that there was no need to tell anyone. "But if she asks, you can tell her." It would be wrong to ask her to lie to Holly. Besides, she's not good at lying.

-next day-

Nadia is good at a lot of things. Cooking, swimming, making others feel better when she had not experienced it herself and apparently, she's getting better at lying too. It must be the previous lies that led her to realize that she wasn't given the entire truth because why else would Lucy be here when she was specifically told not to tell her yesterday.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Nadia asked but didn't get an answer so it must have been a long time. She didn't plan on this but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that Amy's reason for living separately from Lucy temporarily could be another lie. The first time she heard, it didn't make sense but Amy said Lucy was able to regain some parts of the past during her time in Iceland so living apart is to see if it will continue to help. It's important that Lucy does. It could help Max and Will so she believed the explanation given. More problems. More worries. Worries will lead to failure. That makes sense. What doesn't is being asked to keep this from Lucy too. "I didn't tell her about this." Nadia smiled before heading to the bathroom. The promise is not to tell Lucy about the dog bite. She didn't.

Thank you so much. Nadia. Amy said in her own mind since this isn't the right place or time to tell her how she really feels. It wasn't a lie. Living apart is to see if it could help with Lucy's memory but mainly, it's because Lucy wanted to be left alone. If it would help, she would tell Nadia everything but it won't and because Faith said don't tell anyone else, don't ask what happened, don't push her but also don't agree with her which is very confusing advice. Anthony's suggestion to give Lucy space and time to deal with it alone wasn't. He's right. Faith isn't wrong either. The process of healing starts with forgiveness.

"Does it hurt?" Lucy asked after taking a seat next to Amy.

As odd as this question is, it's better than an apology. "Sometimes"

"How many?"

"one" Amy again responded while wondering what exactly did Nadia say to her. Doesn't she know it's just a simple procedure?

"I had all mine out. Couldn't feel a thing. It hurts a little afterwards but just a little. Just don't spit, don't use straw, don't eat sticky foods, no pasta, that will prevent getting a dry socket, that's painful, they say…" Lucy continued to describe her experience when she got all her wisdom teeth taken out.

It has been two months without contact. According to Anthony, she's doing fine. According to Faith, Lucy will never be able to let it go which was disheartening to hear. But that doesn't mean life can't continue on. There will always be a scar but at least now, her heart isn't severely broken. Life will be different. There will be change. That day will come and she'll realize what's more important. Is today…the day?

"…you won't even feel the injection so don't be scared, it's a simple procedure."

"I'm not scared." Amy said, regretting it afterwards since she just realized what Nadia might have told her. "Just nervous" Scared and nervous aren't the same. Anyone who hasn't done this before would be nervous. Anyone who has their love ones here and their hand held would feel better. It has been a long time, so long it feels like it's the first time. As much as she would like this feeling to continue, a patient just came in and it's time to go.

"I'll go in with you."

As much as she would like that, it's not allowed. Even if it is, it's not a good idea because "I don't want him to get distracted. This…will distract him." Amy said in a whisper against Lucy's ear before placing a short kiss on Lucy's face before following the dentist assistant inside while aware that others can see. Even if they can, so what. There are many more things to worry about. All she wants is to let Lucy know that nothing has changed since that night she agreed to leave her alone.

Lucy sits back down, then places her palm against her face. It's just a light kiss, one of many that she got from Amy but instead of being reminded of those moments, it brought back that moment when Ezz did the same on that same spot. Why? To this day, she's still not sure why Ezz forgave her. It wasn't love. It was a paid arrangement, a non-serious rebound fling. She still can't remember but with the details given that night, denying that it ever happened is no longer possible because there were moments that did feel familiar and Ezz's explanation isn't entirely impossible because the mark near her sensitive area did remind her of Brooke. Her strong personality, fearless attitude, wild and unpredictable behavior are similar to that of Brooke's. It happened because of Brooke. As much as she doesn't want to believe it, having no recollection of Ezz proved how she felt years ago. It was a mistake, one that her mind willingly wanted to forget and successfully removed that part of her past. And now, she wished it didn't.

She also wished that everyone would stop treating her like a patient. The surgery took less than an hour. Coming back here wasn't the plan. She had no regrets but now regretting to have told Nadia and CJ what she has been doing everyday since Nadia is more than willing to take Faith's place.

"Enough, that's enough. Thank you."

As good as the head massage feels, too much makes her dizzy. Meditation, deep breathing, yoga, massage and various relaxation exercises was Faith's suggestion to help with memory loss. There's no harm in trying. There's no improvement but it did help relieve the stress. But the guilt still exists.

"I have to go."

Better get going before CJ starts asking questions since she has been very quiet, just staring like she's waiting for the right moment. Nadia doesn't know about Ezz but it's possible CJ does if Bryan didn't keep it to himself like he was told to.

"Why?" Nadia asked but got the same response. It's only 4:00. She was looking at the phone a few times but what's there to do? Is there a need to continue with this living arrangement? Isn't two months long enough to prove that it's not working? Does Amy know she wasn't planning to stay? The answer became obvious a few minutes later after Lucy left. Amy might not have asked where Lucy went but she made the mistake of looking inside the kitchen cabinet longer than she should. No doubt, she must be upset with Lucy. If talking doesn't disturb the healing process, she probably would have a lot to say like CJ who has been very quiet earlier but now thinks there's something wrong. Relaxation exercises help with stress, anxiety, sleep, blood pressure, and many other issues. There's nothing wrong with that so to say that Lucy has been brainwashed is ridiculous.

"You better go after her before she gets too deep."

"too deep in what?" Nadia asked since Amy didn't and is looking confused too.

"Didn't you notice the way she looks?"

Nadia turned towards Amy to see if she noticed anything. Nope, she's still confused. Lucy isn't as thin as she used to be but a little weight gain actually made her look better. The two front desk ladies at the oral surgery office were staring at her. The young guy behind the desk who was making copies also stopped what he was doing to look at Lucy. Amy, no doubt, must have felt the same way since she couldn't resist giving Lucy a kiss on the cheek even when she knew that others could see. So what's wrong with her eyes? "She looks fine."

Can't blame Nadia for not noticing but Amy should since she used to be an agent. "meditation, massage, deep breathing? that's what cults do, that's what desperate ones do, she's desperate to remembah" CJ said, holding the urge to tell them how she came up with this because they both would be pissed if they knew what Holly did to help Lucy to remember years ago. "Jesus Christ" That's what Lucy always say. It got her saying it too. That's because Nadia and Amy still don't get it. "How long have you known Faith? You trust her? What's next? What do you think she's-" Okaaay. There's no need to tell them about Holly since the former agent understood but why is she going upstairs?

Amy quickly took the phone out of her handbag. Anthony can be trusted but Faith? She did that night but not as much afterwards. Faith has been helpful but sometimes, her comments seemed like she has another motive because she once said Lucy will eventually realize what's more important which was comforting to hear until she said:

"Brooke did. Brooke realized being with her is more important than her own life."

Getting information about Brooke was necessary to understand what Lucy is thinking but that comment was so inappropriate, it did make her wonder if that was deliberate. She wasn't sure then but now is. Faith, after all, was Brooke's personal nurse and she did say Brooke had always treated her like a friend not an employee. So it's possible she wants Lucy for herself or she's doing this for Brooke. Why else would she say that living apart for awhile would be good for Lucy? It might not be her suggestion since Lucy did say she wanted to be left alone. But two months without contact? CJ is right. Lucy is desperate and will try anything to help get her memory back.

After getting a dial tone, Amy realized it's a bad idea to call since she won't be able to talk clearly with the gauze in her mouth. Nadia would be able to. Nadia won't be able to persuade Lucy but she'll be able to get Lucy to be aware of Faith's intention.

"It's Nadia. No, nothing's wrong. Are you driving? Can you pull over?..no problems, just pull over. Okay?"

Nadia's sweet voice hasn't changed and it seems that her brain still hasn't learned that an innocent face like Faith's can still have bad intentions because why else would she be asking what she should say?

"Tell her don't believe everything Faith says. Tell her you can-" Amy didn't continue since Nadia refused to do as asked. It did seem that way until she said:

"She wants to talk to you." Nadia said.

There's no reason not to take the call at this point. There's a reason to wait to say what's on her mind though. "mhm" Amy hung up while knowing that her one word response would confuse them. That's because there's no need to tell Lucy about Faith because CJ is wrong. "She's going to get her clothing." That's what Lucy said. She's surprised to hear it too. There was also a question after that. It's only 3 simple words but it made her realize that Lucy has changed. Is that…okay? Hearing that question made her beat faster at that moment. Of course it's okay. She had wanted to say but a simple mhm was enough.

"She's coming back?" Nadia asked just to make sure since Amy's expression is the same as before. There's no smile. Her left side of the face look swollen with the gauze in her mouth so it's hard to tell.

"mhm"

"Yes!" Nadia said, clapping a few times before giving Amy a hug.

That is good news. There's no need to get this excited though but it did make her wonder if that's what Lucy did after hanging up. There's no need to start preparing for dinner just for Lucy either. "mm-" Amy covered her mouth, then quickly headed to the bathroom instead of telling Nadia that she's not sure if Lucy will come back for dinner since Nadia already left to go downstairs and her mouth is filled with saliva which happens every time she talks. The extraction is painless as Lucy said but she didn't say this would happen. Hopefully, the hole doesn't take more than a week to close because not being able to brush for a day and use mouthwash already feels disgusting. Why today? But if this didn't happen, would she have? If Lucy didn't say what she has been doing, would CJ still think there's something wrong with her?

"Anthony's not there, for a few days now. Did you know?"

No. But so what? That doesn't mean anything happened between them. Lucy asked for permission because of Brooke, because she slept with Brooke which she had always denied it as cheating until that night. Lucy was blaming herself because she believes that's what killed Brooke. That's what Faith said. So to say that Lucy could have made the same mistake with Faith is absolutely absurd. Lucy is desperate but she also can't be easily persuaded. Besides, Anthony would never hire Faith if he doesn't trust her. CJ obviously doesn't since she's texting Bryan to find out more about Faith. It's good to know that Bryan had nothing bad to say about Faith. Not only him, Holly doesn't either and surprisingly found Faith to be easy to talk to, perceptive, talented and funny. Faith is easy to talk to but funny and talented?

"She can sing too." Holly described the time when Faith brought in an electric piano to play for Will. "She said if Will knows how to play, she'll be able to tell the difference." Holly shrugged after Nadia asked how since that makes no sense to her either. Music can help but what difference does it make if the music is played from the computer or live? What also doesn't make sense is why all of a sudden, everyone is interested in Faith, everyone except CJ who doesn't look like the type that reads books especially when she had been spending a lot of time watching movies in the last few months according to Nadia so it's odd to see that she found another hobby. Amy is acting strange too. It's just an extraction. She can still talk yet she doesn't want to because she's afraid it would take longer to heal so she wrote the questions on a piece of paper and now she's looking oddly at CJ who's not paying any attention to anyone except the book. As for Nadia, she loves to make new dishes but not today. The lemon soufflé is delicious though but what's the occasion? "What happened?" Holly asked in a whisper into Nadia's ear after taking a bite of the soufflé that was fed to her while knowing that she might not get an answer since Amy is nearby so she's surprised to get one and is not I'll tell you later. "Really? When?"

When? Good question. Lucy didn't say today but Amy assumed that it is. All she had to do was call like CJ said but for a crazy reason, she doesn't want to. It's already 8pm. Does she still think it's today now that she knows Lucy is with Will and Faith is there too? Or is she waiting just to prove that CJ is wrong? It is preposterous to think that there is something going on between Faith and Lucy. But CJ is right about a few things. Why didn't Lucy say it's today if it is today? Why can't Bryan say where Lucy is 4 hours ago? Where did she go? Why did Faith agreed to stay to take care of Will when she wasn't happy? That's what Amy said. Even she was surprised to learn that Faith didn't quit. Is it because of Lucy? "tomorrow" Nadia said since it's not looking like it would be today.

"haa"

Did she just-It might be just a short laugh but it sounded like CJ did so intentionally. It seems that Amy took it that way too since she's going to sleep. If it was intentional, that's not nice. "What so funny?"

"He finally succeeded in quitting caffeine, now his butt's backed up." CJ laughs.

What? She's texting Bryan, not reading the book?

"Anything he can do? He doesn't want to take medicine or drink that fiber crap."

Sometimes it's hard to tell if CJ is being serious. She's laughing at her own comment. But Holly took it seriously. She's on the floor, showing her how.

"Hold it like this for 30 seconds, then the other, then hold both-"

"oh shit"

It doesn't look like CJ is joking around this time. She's going up the stairs in a hurry. Why? There's a bathroom down here. She's calling for Amy. Why? Whatever it is, Amy already knows and is all dressed, ready to go alone if CJ allows her to. "What happened?" Nadia asked again after being told to lock all doors.

"Will's awake." Amy said.