I'd gotten to know the Cullens over the last few hours. It's almost 7pm and they're about to go on separate parties for hunting. Currently, I'm with Emmett, Alice and Jasper. Having already been told Jaspers history, I felt more related to him. He was reserved but you could tell that once you get through his shell, he's loyal with no faults.
We are walking through tall trees hiding the sight of the moon. Rapid heartbeats of birds lingered far east. To fill the not so awkward silence, I asked alive about her past.
"I don't remember much about my human life. According to Carlisle, I was institutionalized by my family. No one came to visit me. Why? I don't know. My records reported that I believed to have to ability to see the future. I caused so much trouble doing that apparently." She sighs and Jasper places a hand on her shoulder. They look at each other and gradually pulled each other into a hug. The movement looks so simple but intimate. They part and she continues.
"I received electroshock therapy but that wasn't what made me forget. As you change into a vampire, memories of your past life are almost completely gone. You're lucky if you even get glimpses of what used to be." Pause. "I still got my premonitions. They're more concrete as a vampire than they were when I was human. Like when you were human, your shield was strong but now you've developed a physical shield as well. Because of my bettered ability to see the future, I found Jasper." She smiled lovingly at the tall scarred vampire. Love bounced from them and spread to me. My heart swelled in my chest and any feeling of stress left my being.
"I'm sorry, Alice. How did you feel when you found out?" My heart went out to the small girl (not that we're that different in size). Her own family dumped her in an institution because they thought her visions were a mental illness. Somehow she had the most bubbly demeanor even after all that's happened. Then again, with he shock therapy, she had a reset and her change made it permanent.
"It's ok, I was hurt at first of course but I hardly remember any of it. There's barely anything there except my younger sister-Cynthia. She had a daughter that currently lives in Mississippi. I've decided to let her live a normal life without the supernatural. She doesn't need what happened to me to happen to her." Alice walks ahead. Jasper followed closely while Emmett walked at my side with his head down and hands in his pockets. I'm sure he heard this story before but the grief on his eyes showed it cut just as deep as it did me. I hardly knew them.
"But you couldn't help it. You were-are gifted." I was annoyed. Life wasn't fair to this happy creature.
"Sure, but there's no way to convince people of that now. The vampire world has to be discrete. There are laws the people that hurt me aren't here anymore." She says. I learned about those laws when I first turned. The Volturi. They forbid exposure to the human world. They don't know of my existence as far as I know and as far as Maria told me. I pass for a human apart from my rabidly beating heart.
"I guess that's true. It's good that you found your happiness. You deserve it." I make eye contact with her. I felt for her.
"Thank you, Bella." She stops as do I. I'm suddenly in her arms. Instinctually I stiffen up but relax instantly wanting to comfort what part of her she wouldn't show that hurts when having to relive her story. (AN: I'm not lying I wanted to cry whole writing this. I hated how sad Alice's human life was when her story was heartbreaking.)
Jasper watches with approving eyes. His love sat there for Alice as well. His smile is soft as he does a nod of approval. Emmett also watched with soft eyes. They were dark and emotional. He smile was sad but proud. He kept watching me as I detached myself from Alice. My nerves were shot on both a pleasant but nervous way. As I mentioned before, his size makes him intimidating despite his friendly demeanor.
"Alright. Enough pouting. Let's go find us some dinner!" Emmett exclaimed while rubbing his stomach. The mood immediately gets light and we find out selves racing to find something to hunt. My speed was amplified but nothing compared to theirs. Emmett slowed down for me as Alice and Jasper sped forward.
"Wanna get a bear?" He asked.
"You trust me enough to be alone with me?" I ask. At if I was the threat between the both of us.
"Please." He jokingly rolls his eyes but I can tell he knows he could top me.
"Fine." I huff. Alice and Jasper don't even turn around when Emmett and I turn left. Allowing myself to disregard my instincts could be the death of me. He seems harmless enough-these feelings of nervousness need to go.
We run for a while before I get a sweet, musky scent. It was thick. A large huffing animal moved in front of us. Emmett perched himself on a boulder next to me.
"I was hoping it'd be a black bear." He sounds disappointed.
"Do they test better?" I ask. The bear sniffs the air. For a second I thought it knew we were here but it began sniffing the ground.
"Nah. Grizzlies are definitely better. I just have a little vendetta with black bears." He says with a little smirk. "How about you take this one. Prove you're good enough to ride with the big guy." A competitive glint shines in his eyes.
"I'm sure I can take down a bear." I laugh. This one was a grizzly-generally almost 10 ft y'all if he were standing. Even at all fours he almost goes about my head.
"Then work your magic." He teases.
I roll my eyes and step forward. The bear doesn't notice me yet but by the time I'm a foot away its ears twitch. I prepare to pounce and strike when he's about to fully turn towards me. I latch my arms around hi large neck and squeeze. He stands at full height despite being suffocated. He seats his large paws around roaring into the sky. It powerful and strong. He's turning his head side to side to get me. I bite into his neck and begin to drink.
His thrashing causes me to let go and readjust. He's somehow able to sway at me, clawing my abdomen. The shirt I'm wearing tears. I decide to break his neck to end his suffering. With one swift squeeze his neck snaps and he falls ungracefully. I latch on again this time able to finish my feeding. He was large enough to fill me up in one go. Fluid sloshed around my stomach. I looked down and saw claw marks lined the front of the shirt. Still thankfully missing my girly bits. The bear carcass lays in front of me. Blood say on my chin and hands.
"Good job. A little messy-but you made quick work of him." Emmett emerges from the thick brush. His eyes are dark and he's licking his lips as his eyes dance across my features.
"Let's see you do the same thing." I say mockingly. Knots form in my stomach with how close he was getting to me. His eyes were hungry but not in a "fill my belly" kind of way.
"Hope you can keep up." He brushed his shoulder against mine. Leaving the feeling of electricity going through me. He takes off and I turn to follow after dazing slightly.
Our hunting session lasted three more bears in. They were all just as big as mine. Since I was full, Emmett took the rest. I learned he liked to play with his food. He let them swat close enough but doges at the last minuet. His face was different. He enjoyed this in a scary way. His eyes held fire once he fonishes his dance with them, the slams them and snaps their necks. Through it all, how clothes remained intact.
"Emmett. What was your human life like?" I asked. We walked quietly back to where we separated from Alice and Jasper.
"You really wanna know?" He asked. His hands were laced behind his head in a relaxed way.
"Of course." I say.
"Well. I used me be a hunter. Or so that's was Rosalie said. She found me after being Mauled by a bear. She was hunting at the time and saw me bleeding out right next to one. A gun sat a few feet away. My entire body was marred with deep cuts. She carried me 100 miles to save my life.I'd been part of the Cullens ever since. Memories of my past life are gone." That makes sense as to why he takes his time with his prey. He knows they can't kill him now.
"You guys have such interesting back stories. None of you really remember who you were yet it seems like that's a good thing." They all went in times where their lives were either the lowest or in danger. At least from the ones I've heard of.
"Yeah. It's good that we forgot them, huh?" He look to me with a smile.
"I guess so." I respond. We watch each other as we walked letting outs senses help us avoid fallen branches and over grown roots.
"You're interesting." He says. "You're more interesting than a normal vampire. More awkward than a human. What was your life like?" Emmett asks. Sadly I remembered my recent past all too well.
"I was just an average teen. My mom was excitable and my dad, Charlie was quiet. Like me. I even favor him more than mom. We lived a normal life. Vampires weren't really something anyone cared to believe were real. Last January, that changed. I was in town with mom. We were looking for a gift for dad." My heart clenches in my chest. "While shopping for a watch in a small men's store, Maria crossed paths with me and I was anware. I asked mom if I could wait outside and she let me. Once I was out a burly vampire such as you grabbed me and threatened my life if I screamed. I was forced to comply with going to Maria's camp. I was meant to be a meal but because of my mental shield as a human I was able to block out the mental abilities her soldiers had. She promised to leave my parents alive if I changed and served under her. I agreed." I clench my fists and look down. "I changed. She killed them." A son sat in my throat. "I had no choice but to stay after I was changed. I was scared and had no one. The things done to me…" the sob came out.
"Bella." Emmett's voice is soft.
Tears sit in my eyes. I stared at my arms. My ugly arms. My ugly torso. Ugly. Broken.
"No…" I say shakily. Both of my hands grab at the sides of my head as the feeling of an anxiety attack approaches. My chest tightens and all I can do is cry. My breaths come in gasps as I try to cool the fire in my throat.
"Bella, please…" Emmett tries to sound calm but I can hear it laced with growing worry. He's grabbing my hands and putting them down. He quickly pulls me to his chest and I'm immediately at ease. His scent invades every part of me and I lean my body into his. The tight feeling in my chest goes away slowly. Emmett rubs my back gently with one hand and cradled the back of my head with the other. Even thought he's big as all get out, he was the best hugger.
I'm not sure how long we stood there. In that random area of dirt, leaves and moss. Emmet had continued to rub my back. I was so dazed that I thought I fell asleep. My guard has never been this far down.
"Bella?" Alice's voice came. I could hear her and jaspers foot falls.
"Is everything okay?" Jasper asks. He's radiating enough calm that I can think clearly.
"I think so. She had sort of a panic attack. She was telling me about her life before-you know. Her situation is still heavy for her." Emmett says. His chest vibrates. Against my the crown of my head. My face still pressed into him.
"Oh. Let's go back, Bella. We have to get you cleaned up and fresh clothes." Alice said gently. I had calmed down but Emmett's chest out me into a deep state of serenity. It took me a second to finally remove myself. He hadn't pushed me away. The band ok my back slid down and toward my hip. It stayed there for a moment before he agreed.
We took off.
Jasper hovered slightly. He felt my anxiety when I had the attack but they were too far away to reach Emmett and I in time. I let him know it was fine. I left out the fact that Emmett became my new safety vampire so quickly.
I had showered for the cond time seeing that the bears blood soaked through my shirt. Alice reluctantly gave me one of Emmett's giant grey hoodies. One he offered up himself. She gave me another pair of leggings this time being dark blue. The plan is to go shopping tomorrow. Something I didn't necessarily want to do. I asked that my episode during our hunt ring session was not brought up. Once asked why I just told them I wasn't comfortable.
I had situated myself on the Cullens couch and turned on the huge television. They all sat randomly though the home. Edward and Rosalie sat in their room. Carlisle was in his study and Esme was in their room painting. Alice and Jasper sat with me in a large chair that matched the sofa. Emmett was taking a shower. One I couldn't help to be curious about.
Jasper cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow. I looked down and swallowed. Him knowing how I feel makes me slightly uncomfortable. Then again, as someone who can not only manipulate emotions, he can feel them too. Surely, his life is just as hard I more ways that my one.
"Your feelings." He mouthed.
I gasped and focused on the random movie on the tv. It was about some cats and a bald guy talking about family. It was nice but seemed extreme with the helicopters doing physically impossible things.
Emmett eventually joined us downstairs and hopped over the back of the couch to join us. I blushed and tucked my legs in under it bringing them closer to my body. Did I get cold? Not really but this eas something I did when I wanted to cuddle up and feel warm as a human.
My new handsome bear of a friend sat next to me, arm behind me on the back rest. He almost worse the same thing as me. Except he wore joggers.
"Thank you for the hoodie." I say quietly almost shy.
"Anytime. Plus you get to smell like me." He winks. And I start blushing furiously.
Esme and Carlisle along with Edward and Rosalie come into the house through the back balcony door. Their clothes were untouched. You'd have thought they went on a simple date night.
"How was your first time hunting?" Edward asks. Less tense than earlier. Maybe he accepted my talent couldn't be fought against.
"Bella took down a big grizz. No help. I got three. He made a mess out of Jaspers shirt though." Emmett says with a hint of humor. He seemed so proud of me taking down a bear and I'd be lying if I said him being proud didn't make me the happiest girl on earth.
"Does the diet seem like it'll work for you? I know you can eat but I assume you'd still need blood to be strong." Carlisle says. He was right. It's still necessary for me to drink blood. Human food only does so much.
"Yes, thank you. The bear I hunted was pretty good. Not really like human blood but it passed the flavor meter." I smiled.
"Good. If there is anything you need please don't hesitate to ask us. Your bed should be ready soon." Carlisle says kindly.
The way these vampires just took me in with hardly any hesitation both creeped me out and made me happy that I would be able to rest for a while. I knew realistically, I couldn't stay. I can't.