One Piece: Strawhat Theater

"Our Mrs. Monkey"

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-based work of prose. One Piece is the property of Toei Animation, Funimation, and Eiichiro Oda. Please support the official release.

A short chapter for the Thanksgiving week. Hope you enjoy!

Just after the final battle in Skypeia

Nami stood on the deck of the Going Merry. She looked around, a feeling of anxiety gnawing at her chest.

"Luffy? Zoro? Sanji? Chopper? Usopp? Robin? Anyone?"

She wandered around the deck, calling their names. No one answered. Her anxiety escalated as her heart pounded in her ears, hard and fast.

"Everyone?! Where are you?! Where is-?!"

She saw Luffy. He was staring out at the sea on the prow. She smiled in relief.

"Luffy! Luffy, what's going on? Where is everyone? Do you know?"

Luffy turned around. His eyes were shadowed.

"Luffy?" She asked, uncertain.

"Do you really think I'll be there for you?" Luffy asked, quiet but icy. He looked up with a brazen grin.

"I want the ultimate freedom," he said, "What room is there in that dream for you?"

Nami took a step back, shocked.

"L-Luffy, what are you-?"

"When I get my dream... What use do I have for you anymore?" Luffy asked dangerously. "You know what the One Piece will make me..."

He lifted his hat. A cold, superior look adorned him. His eyes were icy and dismissive.

"I'll be a God... And what use does a God have for a wife?"

The

Merry fell away, piece by piece. She held onto the railing, and looked down at the deep abyss below. She looked back frantically at Luffy.

"LUFFY! LUFFY PLEASE!" She screamed. "I LOVE YOU! DON'T! PLEASE!"

"You know how selfish I am," Luffy grinned, "What makes you think I won't become a monster? Just. Like."

Eneru's face filled hers.

"HIM."

He snapped the railing, and Nami was sent plunging into the abyss with a scream-

"Nami! Nami, wake up! Wake up!"

She felt warm arms around her as she struggled. She shot up, breathing hard. The celebration was still ongoing, the Skypeians and the Strawhats partying around the bonfire some distance away.

"L-Luffy?" She asked.

Her captain nodded.

"Hey. You fell asleep, so I took you a little ways away so you could rest. Then you started screaming and I got worried."

Nami stared intently at Luffy. She reached up and touched his face, running her fingers over it. Luffy laughed.

"Hey! That tickles!"

"I... I'm sorry."

"Don't! I like it!" Luffy chuckled. He then frowned again.

"You okay though? You looked like you had a bad dream."

"I..." She looked aside. "You... It's nothing."

She felt his concerned look. Weird how easily she could sense when his eyes were on her now.

"It's... Stupid..." She sighed.

"I-I mean... It's a stupid nightmare-"

"Tell me about it."

Nami stared at him for a while. She bit her lower lip before she continued.

"Luffy... If... I mean, when you get the One Piece... What will you do afterwards?"

"Hmmm?" Luffy blinked. He then frowned, and got into a thinking pose that was so serious it did almost make her laugh.

"I guess I'd like to still be free," he laughed, "Still go on adventures. There's still so much to see and do, after all! And hey: You're not gonna finish your world map in one go, right?"

"I... No, there's... There's a lot more," Nami admitted.

"Like these sky islands!"

"Definitely," Nami agreed. Luffy chuckled again.

"So yeah... Even when I'm Pirate King, I wanna keep going! Keep seeing and adventuring!"

She pouted a bit at her hands. He took them in his with a bright grin.

"I mean... You wouldn't mind if I went along, right?"

"Uh?" Nami tried. Luffy nodded vigorously.

"Yeah! I mean, when I achieve my dream, I'll help you achieve yours! Ooh! Maybe we can map the moon! That's where Ener-whatever was going, right? Wow, pirates on the moon! That'd be so awesome! Maybe we can go there next after we get the One Piece! You think it's big enough to make a flying ship out of gold? So we can go too?"

Nami listened to her captain's ramblings, the anxiety and fear from her dream vanishing like warm water flowed over her. She chuckled, and hugged him.

"Y-Yeah... Yeah, maybe," Nami said softly.

"Hm? What's up?"

"I was... I was just being stupid," she admitted.

"Oh," Luffy nodded, "Is that why we haven't been cuddling a lot? Or kissing?"

Nami flushed.

"I... That's part of it," she admitted. "I... I did need some space, after all that."

"Why? Don't you like hugging and kissing me?"

"I do, Luffy, I really do," Nami insisted, "I just... It's complicated. I guess... I guess I was worried about something."

"What?"

Nami chuckled at his innocent look, and nuzzled him.

"Something stupid... But I'm better now. Thank you."

"You're welcome! ... Whatever I did."

Nami beamed.

"And I'm holding you to that... That we keep going after the One Piece. We stick together."

"Of course!" Luffy laughed. "I couldn't do it without you! I love you!"

Nami heard a gasp. She looked back and saw Conis approaching them, holding some sake bottles and cups. She flushed, and quickly walked up to deposit them in Luffy's hands.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, I'll uh, I'll just go," she said quickly.

"Thanks Conis!" Luffy called at her as she headed away. He held up the bottle of alcohol reverently, and set the three cups down on the moss-covered stone tile of the ground. With great ceremony, he poured the alcohol into the three cups. He picked one up, and handed it to Nami. He took the other for himself, and left the third on the ground.

"What's this?" Nami asked.

"Well... Uh... I wanted to do this after Arlong... Or Crocodile... But now feels like the best time," Luffy grinned, "When me and my brothers became brothers, we drank some sake in cups! To promise to always be family! And uh... Since you're my wife, we should really do it, don't you think?"

"I'm not..." She trailed off into a sigh, and just smiled warmly at him. She toasted with him, clicking their cups together, as they both drank.

"Mmm... Not bad," Nami said with a chuckle.

"Pretty nice," Luffy agreed.

"Who's the third cup for?" Nami asked. Luffy still smiled, but it became almost... Solemn.

"My third brother, Sabo," Luffy explained quietly. "He... We lost him."

Nami frowned deeply. She pressed her forehead to his.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. Luffy smiled back at her.

"Thanks..."

"OI! BLUE SEA MAN!" Wyper shouted from the crowd around the bonfire. "SHOW US HOW YOU DANCE WITH YOUR WOMAN!"

"I'm not his-!"

"OKAY!"

Luffy yanked her onto her feet and pulled her along, dancing happily like an eager monkey. More booze was poured and consumed, and Nami and Luffy danced. Luffy naturally wasn't the most graceful dancer, but his enthusiasm more than made up for it and they were soon laughing and jumping around to the drums.

Seeing the fire reflecting in his eyes... Well... She kissed him brazenly, wrapping her arms around him. He returned the favor. Much hooting and cheering was tossed at them by the Skypeians, and the crew.

"I'LL MURDER HIM!"

And Sanji needed to be restrained, but he still had a good time.

Set a bit after returning down from Skypeia

Going Merry, the Men's Dorm

"Come on! Spill!"

"Nope."

Sanji groaned as Luffy kept grinning at him from his hammock.

"You smug... I taught you everything you know, damnit! I'M why you're married in the first damn place! At least tell me about you two-!"

"Thanks Sanji! Still no!" Luffy chuckled. Zoro sighed in his hammock nearby.

"Doesn't that mean your own methods, used by you, don't work? I wonder why that is?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, MOSSHEAD!" Sanji roared.

"Hmph. I don't see what all the hullabaloo is about anyway," Usopp commented, sketching something in his journal. "Aside from all the mushiness, ugh."

"Yeah, I don't get why humans are so obsessed about that sort of thing," Chopper commented, swinging in his hammock happily.

"You know though... It does make sense," Zoro observed. "You marrying the witch and all."

"Eh? It does?" Luffy asked, looking down at his first mate from the hammock above. Zoro smirked.

"Listen... You're going to be the Pirate King, right?"

"Yup!" Luffy grinned.

"Which means you'll have the One Piece."

"Uh huh!"

"Which means," and here Zoro paused, "You'll be the richest man in the world."

"Yup!"

"And what woman is more obsessed with money than Nami?"

Silence hung in the air. Usopp broke it.

"Wow! Hey, you're right!" Usopp laughed. "Nami would only go after the richest man in the world! So yeah, Luffy, of course she'd marry you!"

"She made the perfect choice," Zoro nodded.

"It all makes sense," Sanji sobbed, "Oh, my sweet Mellorine~! I'm not tough enough, or rich enough for her!" He began to weep.

"Hopefully she won't bump you off to become the richest widow in the world, it has happened!" Usopp added with a friendly grin and wink at Luffy.

"Yeah, that would make sense," Chopper said with a nod. "The richest mate is the best in the wild! I mean, if animals used money."

Luffy frowned. He got up and walked out of the dormroom.

Out on deck, Nami was keeping watch. She jumped a bit when Luffy came up behind her.

"Luffy! Geez... You scared me," she said.

"Hey, Nami," Luffy began, "You aren't just gonna kill me for my money, are you?"

Nami blinked.

"Wh-What?!"

"When you asked me to marry you," Luffy said, "When I get the One Piece, you're not just gonna bump me off and take all my money, are you?"

Nami worked her jaw up and down a bit. She then broke into laughter, and pulled Luffy into a tight hug.

"You idiot... I'll control the money, and you can be my hot trophy husband," she chuckled.

"Trophy husband?"

"Means you don't have to do any work except look good, eat, fight, and go on adventures with me," Nami assured him.

Luffy grinned.

"Oh! Wow! You are the best wife ever!"

"And you'd better not forget it!" Nami laughed.

Omake: Buggy Stream

We see Buggy sitting uncomfortably on his couch, grimacing with some bandages on his head.

"So... Turns out ducks cannot really cut with their beaks, just grind. Did you know that? I KNOW THAT NOW!"

Alvida slid into view, bend down, and kissed the top of Buggy's forehead.

"You're a Warlord, you're not going to let a mere duck get you down, are you?"

Buggy flushed and rubbed his cheek with a finger.

"Aw... Well... I-I suppose not... Eheh..." He scowled and shook his finger at her. "But I'd better get my cut of the profits of that smut book!"

"It's not a 'smut book' when it's for woman, you pig," Alvida chuckled, skating off-screen with a final pat of his head. Buggy glared after her, but he shook his head and cleared his throat.

"Anyway!" He clapped his hands together. "Our special guest for this stream has just arrived! He's quite an... Interesting character-"

"CHARACTER?!"

The camera snail's view expanded, revealing Spandam on the other couch. He was sneering at Buggy and the camera in equal measure.

"I am SPANDAM! A fearsome agent of Ciper Pol Zero! The most formidable intelligence agency of the World Government! Treat me with the proper respect, you pirate scumbag!"

"HEY!" Buggy shouted. "I'M A WARLORD OF THE SEA! SHOW SOME FLASHING RESPECT YOU HALF-FACED GOON!"

"HALF-FACED-!? I EARNED THESE SCARS IN BATTLE, YOU RED NOSED PUNK!"

"DON'T YOU DARE MENTION MY NOSE YOU-!"

STREAM INTERRUPTED... PLEASE STAND BY...

Buggy was sitting on the couch, looking much calmer. Spandem was covered in bruises and sulking.

"Sorry about that, Buggy Fans," Buggy said cheerfully, "Anyway! This is Spandam, an officer of CP0! He's here to talk about-"

"I'M TALKING ABOUT THOSE DAMN STRAWHATS!" Spandam roared, throwing his hands up and shaking them, "THOSE DEGENERATE BASTARDS! NOT ONLY DID THEY INVADE ENIES LOBBY! NOT ONLY DID THEY TAKE BACK NICO ROBIN! THEY-THEY-!"

"Did that to your face?" Buggy asked.

"YES!" Spandam roared. "THAT DAMN CYBORG FRANKY DID THIS TO ME!"

He growled.

"But even worse... The utter desecration... Strawhat and his wife... No respect...!"

He held up some photos.

"LOOK! LOOK AT THEIR DEGENERACY!"

Buggy frowned as they zoomed in on the photos.

"They're... Kissing?"

"RIGHT IN THE HALL OF JUSTICE!" Spandam roared. "LOOK HOW-HOW LEWD THEY KISS! RIGHT IN THE HALL OF JUSTICE!" He shook his spare fist. "They probably RUTTED like a pair of mangy cats in heat after they trashed everything and ruined my career! THEY DID THIS TO GET ME! TO RUIN ME!"

"And rescue Nico Robin, apparently," Buggy observed dryly, "Though I'm sure that was a minor consideration for them."

"EXACTLY!" Spandam ranted. "My former subordinate Khalifa hit me with sooo many sexual harassment complaints, but the World Government won't even charge these two with public lewdness?! I DEMAND JUSTICE!"

Alvida skated by and grabbed the photos.

"Yoink!"

She skated off camera. Spandam shook his head.

"HEY! DAMNIT THAT'S MY PRIVATE EVIDENCE! GIVE IT BACK!"

Spandam got up and ran after Alvida, who skated away laughing. Buggy sighed.

"I knew this was a bad idea..."

Khalifa appeared via Soru, and clothelined Spandam. He fell on the floor, knocked out.

"Sorry, he is not allowed to be in public without taking his medication first," the beautiful blonde woman said, adjusting her glasses, "Thank you for humoring him."

"Er... No problem?" Buggy managed.

"However, I do not work for free," Khalifa stated, holding out one gloved hand. Buggy blanched.

"HEY! My taxes pay your salary! That's bribery-!"

Alvida skated up, and handed her a copy of "Strawhat the Harem King". Alvida grinned.

"I think you'll like the Enies Lobby chapter especially~."

Khalifa's cheeks flushed and she nodded.

"Acceptable."

"Wait," Buggy said, "You did this for an advanced copy of Alvida's smut book?!"

"Romance novel," both women corrected him.