Hello everyone! This is the first in a series of unrelated Doctor Who one-shots. I do not own any of the characters, only the ideas, and if you read a story similar to mine and I have copied them, please tell me and I'll edit my story accordingly, or at the very least, give them credit. If anyone has any crack!one-shot requests, please review and tell me.

-OnyxvanGem

In which…

A Dalek Wants to Have the Doctor's Children

"Pond, Rory, River, run!" the Doctor ordered, holding up the satellite dish to block the attack of the stone Dalek. He backed away from the Dalek, waiting for the inevitable firing of the Dalek's ray gun. To his surprise, it never came.

"DOCTOR," called the Dalek. The Doctor paused for a moment.

"Doctor, what are you doing!" called Amy, ignoring the prodding of River to jump down a hatch into the museum.

"Move along, Pond. I can handle this," the Doctor said and Amy huffed, finally consenting to River's prodding.

"DOCTOR, I-HAVE-WAITED-TO-MEET-YOU-FOR-2,000-YEARS," said the Dalek, moving towards the Doctor. The Doctor frowned.

"You wanted to meet me?" he asked, lowering the satellite dish completely.

"YES, DOCTOR. I-AM-YOUR-BIGGEST-FAN," the Dalek said and the Doctor almost fell over. The Dalek was his biggest fan? What?

"What? You like me?" he asked and the Dalek's eye-stalk moved up and down rapidly. The Doctor blew out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"DOCTOR, I-WANT-YOU-TO-LOVE-ME," the Dalek said and the Doctor tensed up once more.

"Excuse me?"

"I-WANT-TO-HAVE-YOUR-BABIES, DOCTOR!" the Dalek said, moving quickly towards the Doctor. The Doctor held up the satellite dish once more.

"Stay back," he warned, backing quickly towards the hatch.

"DOCTOR, I-WANT-TO-BE-WITH-YOU-FOREVER. LET-ME-HAVE-YOUR-CHILDREN," the Dalek said and the Doctor quickly looked between the Dalek and the hatch.

"Erm…gotta go!" he said, quickly jumping and sonic-ing the hatch shut.

"What took you so long?" River asked once the Doctor had finished sealing the hatch. He looked between River, Amy, and Rory, frowning. The Doctor shook his head.

"You don't want to know. Anyway, about that Pandorica…" the Doctor said, walking quickly away. River and Amy exchanged a glance before they both shook their heads and followed the Doctor away.