Hello, my dearest readers!
Today, I decided to try a little Companion!Bashing! (The past four companions, to be specific). Here's basically what I'm trying to display with this chapter:
Rose is a needy, winy person; Martha will abandon you for Mickey (which I never quite understood anyway...); Donna is controlling, irritating, and obrusive; and Amy is just an unobservant idiot.
Mind you, I like the companions as people, I just find them irritating at times. Now that you know what I'm trying to display with this fic, enjoy!
OnyxvanGem
In Which…
The Companions Are Idiots
Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, and Amy Pond sat around a table at Outback Steakhouse sipping on glasses of pink lemonade (except for Donna because she only drank Caribbean rum).
"So, Pond, you're the Doctor's newest companion. Why did he pick you over us?" asked Donna, swirling her rum and taking a large gulp. Amy shrugged.
"I don't know. I mean, he could have chosen several other people, and he just so happens to choose me. I'm not complaining, though. It is rather fun," she said, her Scottish accent never deviating except for on the word 'several'. Rose let out a sob.
"I want my Doctor back…I need my Doctor!" she cried over the other loud patrons of the Outback. Martha rolled her eyes.
"You have a Doctor, Rose. He's your Meta-crisis Doctor. I mean, I left the Doctor and I was perfectly fine," Martha said, shrugging. Donna slammed down her glass and raised her finger to Martha.
"No, you don't get to speak! Who leaves the Doctor? And you hooked up with Mickey of all people!" Donna said, her arms gesturing wildly as she took on her usual obtrusive manner.
"I want my Doctor," Rose said again, pouting. Amy, meanwhile, had absolutely no clue what was going on, due to her extremely unobservant nature, and was staring at the butter on the bread tray.
"Did anyone order any more bread? I'm starving," she commented out of the blue and Martha huffed.
"If you don't calm down, Donna," said Martha, ignoring Amy, "then I'm leaving."
"Oh, so you'll leave us just like you left him is it! Oi, well that isn't going to happen, little ms. U.N.I.T.!" Donna cried, attracting the attention of the patrons who were sitting nearby. An elderly couple looked over, rolled their eyes, and went back to eating their steaks.
"I want my Doctor!" Rose cried again and Martha stood up.
"You know what? I'm leaving!" she cried, storming off to be with Mickey.
"Oi! No you don't! If you're leaving, so am I!" Donna shrieked, standing up and stumbling out the door (she'd clearly had too much rum-as per usual). Amy looked up at Rose and then around at the now empty chairs.
"Where'd everybody go?"