A Changing Path
Finally, the kettle had heated, so Genesis put the tea bag in it and let it steep as he moved it and the cups to the coffee table. Kunzel looked up with a start, then forced himself to relax while Genesis worked, until he had poured the tea into the cup nearest the sixteen-year-old.
Once he'd poured it, he asked, "Do you take anything in your tea? Sugar? Milk? Honey?" Kunzel just shook his head and carefully lifted the cup with a trembling hand, blowing on it before taking a small sip, so Genesis poured his own cup and sat down across from the younger man. "I called Sephiroth, so he should be here soon with Zack. Just realize this—what happened was, in no way, your fault."
"If I hadn't accepted your proposal..." Kunzel answered softly, voice pained.
"So, just because someone might be jealous of you, accepting promotions you've earned is a no-go?" Genesis asked, his brow raised. Kunzel looked up at him in confusion, so he said, "Kunzel, you didn't do anything wrong, or anything to deserve what he was going to do to you. His only problem was jealousy, which was his choice, and is his problem to deal with. He chose to hurt you, so now he's going to get the punishment for his own choice to behave badly. That had nothing to do with you, and probably would have happened to anyone else in the Cadet program who ended up with a Mentor, especially this early on. So, you aren't allowed to blame yourself for something outside your control. You can be afraid and whatever else for awhile—but you're not allowed self-blame for something which wasn't your fault."
A faint smile curved his lips up a bit before his face fell again. After a pause, he asked tentatively, "Why is it impossible for you to have had me in your bed?"
"I'm asexual, for one—the doctors aren't sure that will stay throughout my life, but it's one strong point right there," Genesis shrugged, and Kunzel stared at him in surprise. "The other is a literal medical issue which has a side-effect of preventing arousal, and the medication pretty much kills sexual drive and interest, assuming I had that in the first place. So, it's impossible for you to be in my bed, or for me to have taken you on due to sexual favors. Lazard, Angeal, and Sephiroth all know that, hence why none of them particularly questioned my taking you on."
There was a long silence, then Kunzel gave a small nod and relaxed a bit more before saying, "It's kinda mind-boggling with both how flamboyant you are and all the flirting rumor says you do, but—I feel better knowing that. Thank you."
Giving the sixteen-year-old a nod, he agreed, "I thought that would be the case, hence why I told you something I normally keep private. You'd probably have needed to know soon, anyway, since you'd be bound to find my medication eventually. As for the flirting—it's part of my flamboyancy and makes people think I'm just like them."
Again, the Cadet across from him gave a small nod, but if he was going to say something, it was cut off by a knock on the door before it was pushed open and Sephiroth led in a strapping boy of about fourteen, who had spiky, black hair and blue-gray eyes. He was dressed in the Cadet uniform as well, and he seemed somewhat confused and worried as he looked around—but as soon as he saw Kunzel, his eyes widened and he was right beside the more slender Cadet a moment later. Zack's arms were around his friend, holding on firmly and gently rocking him a bit as Kunzel broke down and wept on his shoulder, clutching at Zack's shirt.
Rising, Genesis breathed a small sigh and motioned Sephiroth to follow him, leading the way to his room, where he left the door a bit open, then sat on the edge of his bed and said, "It would have easily turned into an attempted rape, but it was limited to something more like an attempted sexual assault, only because my warning signals went off and woke me even before Kunzel told the other Cadet to let him go."
Sephiroth leaned against the wall beside the door, gazing absently into the distance for a minute before saying, "This could not have happened last time, because you did not become a Mentor." When Genesis nodded, he asked, "And how do you feel after finding out actions you thought were positive had such a negative result?"
Letting out a puff of air, the older of the two said, "Part of me wants to do the same thing Kunzel initially did—blame myself for something outside my control—but the other part of me sort of knows we'd start seeing changes in the path the world would take as we change current events. It would be unrealistic to think all the changes would be good ones. On the other hand, this way, we now know not to give Kunzel's attacker a place as a SOLDIER, which is another benefit to this path, and my only regret is that it was Kunzel who suffered for it."
The other man gazed at him for several long moments before Genesis shrugged and added, "Things will still go better for him overall by having a Mentor who can teach him properly, and I'll be sure to teach him how to get out of an assailant's hold as well. I don't want to see him hurt, but even with Weiss, things sometimes happened, and I had to react to those things because I couldn't prevent the event itself. It was like you and Angeal dealing with the fallout of my suddenly getting the Blessing shoved onto me—none of us had any control over that, and it wasn't exactly a good thing, but we still had to react to it. This fits in that same category."
"...You have truly matured in a way which is positive," Sephiroth answered quietly. "The Genesis you had been at this age would have burnt the offender to a crisp and threatened to skewer all the rest, all while blaming yourself for not having realized this would happen. As even Angeal and I did not suspect this would happen, such blame would have been unrealistic, yet you would have done it. I believe your actions to be the correct ones."
"Thanks, Seph," Genesis agreed with a small smile. "To be fair, I did want to do exactly what you said, but it helped that Angeal walked in so he could help."
The silver haired eighteen-year-old gave a small smile, then both fell silent. Some minutes later, it sounded like Kunzel had stopped crying, and as they were about to go back to the main room, Zack's voice asked, "What happened, Kunzel?"
"Dante—he tried to make me—suck on his—penis..." the other teen answered quietly, haltingly. "It would have gone further, but—Genesis stopped him—he pretty much said—he would have—Geez, I'm so weak..."
"Hey, you're not weak!" Zack immediately protested. "I'd sorta thought there was something strange about Dante, some of his habits, and he almost always came back to the barracks just before curfew looking like he'd just gotten laid. I thought he had a girlfriend or something, but this sorta answers what he was doing, and it sure wasn't good. That's his problem, not yours. I mean—you were picked by Commander Rhapsodos! He wouldn't have taken you on if you were weak."
Kunzel had to give a faint, watery chuckle, but then answered sadly, "I don't mean my skills, I mean my mind—my emotions. I can't stop feeling shivers, and fear, and—I just..."
"Kunzel, look at me," Zack answered quietly. The two in the bedroom assumed the older of the two had done so when the younger one went on, "Remember how we define 'strength' and 'courage' in Gongaga, buddy? You remember that?"
After a silence, the older Cadet said tentatively, "Being afraid isn't what makes a coward, being afraid is what keeps people alive..."
"Keep going."
"...It's not the fear, it's whether or not you can face it...to do what you need to do anyway...'Strength' is being able to face the fear, and 'courage' is being able to overcome it...while 'cowardice' is being unable to face it, running away from it..."
"Right. So, you're afraid. And you've got a reason to be. But, that doesn't make you weak. You have a goal to work towards now—to overcome the fear, and to learn how to keep yourself from falling into that trap again. And hey, if you run away now, wouldn't that mean Dante won anyway? I don't think you want to give him that much power or the satisfaction of knowing he could do that to you, do you?"
Sephiroth stared in amazement at Genesis, who just gave him a smirk and commented, "Don't you think he'd be a good mentee for Angeal?"
Before the silver haired man could reply, Kunzel softly admitted, "That would really be just adding insult to injury, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah. So, what's your plan now?" Zack asked, his voice more cheerful than it had been. Right then, Genesis realized he was actually all right with the boy, just relieved.
"...I think...I need to learn to fight the right way for my build, and to use magic to support me."
"And where will you get that?"
"...Right here."
"So, you're sticking with it?"
"If he'll still have me here."
"Did he say or do anything to make you think he wouldn't, or was that your fear talking?"
"Um..." There was a silence, then Kunzel admitted, "He didn't seem to think badly of me...Even sent the General to get you because I was terrified of being left alone."
"See? If he did all that, he's not going to get rid of you."
After another moment of silence, the older teen asked, "Are you jealous?"
"Of what?" Zack asked, sounding genuinely confused.
"...Of my being chosen for the Mentor Program."
"That? Why would I be? I pretty much always knew you had magic in your blood, after you did that funky lightning thing back home. And if he can help your physical skills, you need that way more than I do, so why should I be?"
"...Thanks, Zack."
"Well, some of the others are jealous, I think. But they're more—generally jealous you were chosen, not by who. Dante actually wanted to make First as quickly as possible because he really wanted to get into the Commander's pants, remember?"
Kunzel gave a sudden snort and chuckle before saying, "Fat lot of good that would have done. His—violent reaction makes a lot more sense now, though." There was a pause, then a sigh. "Well, it doesn't really matter anymore, and I'll work towards making sure this doesn't happen again. Thanks, Zack."
"Sure. What are friends for if it isn't this sort of thing?" Zack replied cheerfully. "By the way, where did the General and the Commander go?"
Sephiroth gave Genesis an amused look as he stepped out of the room and returned to the main room, telling them, "Down the hall, letting you have some degree of privacy."
"'Some degree'?" Zack asked.
"SOLDIERs have enhanced senses, which includes hearing, sight, smell, and taste," the man explained, and Genesis decided to get dressed while Sephiroth was dealing with them. "By extension, we hear a great deal more than most people, and other than leaving the apartment entirely, it would have been impossible for us not to 'hear' what you discussed, unless you spoke in whispers and the door was closed. Needless to say, secrets in SOLDIER do not remain as such for long. In the meantime, Genesis and I also needed to discuss this situation, as it also affected him."
"Has he said—if I can stay on in the program?" Kunzel asked worriedly.
"He prefers that you do so he can teach you how to do the very things you have decided you need to learn," Sephiroth explained.
By then, Genesis was dressed, so grabbed his coat and headed into the main room as he pulled it on, calling ahead, "True!"
When he rounded the corner, Kunzel looked calmer and relieved, Zack looked happy—if he'd had a tail, it would have been wagging furiously, he was sure—and Sephiroth gave him a nod. "That's good to know, Com—Genesis," Kunzel said, and Zack nodded eagerly.
"See, I told you!" the younger Cadet said to his friend with a grin.
"Do you agree with the way Gongagans describe things like strength and courage?" Kunzel asked curiously. "I mean, since I assume you heard that, too."
"We did," Genesis agreed as he sat in the same chair he'd been in earlier. "And yes, I agree with it. I told you myself—you're allowed to feel all the other emotions the incident produced, but you aren't allowed self-blame for something outside your control. Now, once you've been trained, you'll normally be able to stop those sorts of incidences yourself, but you need to realize—no matter how good you are, there will always be someone stronger, or someone who will get lucky and be able to overpower you. It happens. What we're aiming for is to make you as capable as you can be, and normally, your opponents won't be trying to capture and torture you anyway, they'll just be aiming to kill—trust me, that's a better fate than suffering through torture."
Sephiroth raised a brow as both Cadets stared at him with wide eyes, but then Kunzel snickered and commented, "As much as that should have put the fear back into me, I think hearing a blunt reality like that helped put things into perspective just now. I guess I'm going to have a lot of people who are stronger than me, which puts me at a disadvantage, though."
"Yes, and no," the red haired man replied, gaze even. "They may be physically stronger than you, but that doesn't mean you can't beat them by learning how to fight the right way. As I said last night, when you fight, it's better for you to use your blade to deflect theirs rather than catch and hold it. That's no less true now. In combat, two things are the key factors in whether you win or lose. The first is how well you know your own skills, strengths, and weaknesses, because invariably, your adaptability through knowing those things is what will give you an edge over a stronger opponent. The other is luck and circumstance, something you can't do much about. Fact is, you could have been winning, but if you're on rocky, loose ground, the slightest stumble on your part could destroy you—and that's just pure chance. I personally know a couple people whose degree of 'luck' is God-like. Often, however, you can use far less of your own abilities to defeat a stronger opponent by fighting the right way."
"But if they know all your skills, wouldn't that mean they'd still have the advantage?" Zack asked suddenly, even as the door opened quietly to let Angeal back in.
Genesis held up his finger in a not-quite point as he said, "The idea is for you to know your skills and to use only as much as you feel is necessary to beat them. You might have Bolt, Bolt 2, Bolt 3, and Ultima available to use, but if people only ever see you use Bolt and Bolt 2, what will they think?"
"They'll think you can only use those two levels of Bolt," Zack blinked.
"And if they think you only have those two levels of Bolt, so challenge you thinking they'll win, what does that mean for your ability to defeat them?" the red haired man prompted.
"You have two spells at your disposal which they don't know about and haven't prepared for, giving you a strong advantage if it's needed," Kunzel answered that time, slowly and thoughtfully. "So...keeping skills in reserve rather than laying them all out for everyone to see is a tactical move which begins long before you enter combat. That's why you said those SOLDIERs who are truly skilled and advance in the ranks most quickly are the ones who developed their own fighting styles—by extension, that means the one who developed it is the only one who knows everything it's capable of."
"Exactly," Genesis agreed, then called over to the kitchen, "How long until the food's ready, Angeal?" Kunzel and Zack both jumped, then turned to the kitchen in surprise, seeing the larger man as he chuckled while preparing food at the counter.
"Probably half an hour for it to be edible," the man answered. "You're turning out to be quite good at Mentoring, Genesis."
"He certainly is," Sephiroth agreed thoughtfully.
"...So does our plan for today change, Genesis?" Kunzel asked tentatively.
"That depends on you," Genesis shrugged. "If you feel up to some training this afternoon, we will. If not, after the incident this morning, I have no objection to leaving you—and Zack—the day to calm down and adapt to what happened."
"...Can I give you my answer around noon?" the teen asked.
"Whenever you've decided," he agreed. "Just don't think every day will be like this."
The two Cadets had to chuckle at the words.
The rest of the morning was quiet, Zack mostly being a cheerful distraction for Kunzel as Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth put some plans into place for a few things they wanted to do in the future. Genesis vaguely remembered a situation that afternoon which would have resulted in the deaths of several Seconds, so he told them about it while the two younger boys were distracted by a Gongagan game. Last time, virtually everything had been being left to Sephiroth, including that same incident, so with the warning, they decided Angeal would head down to Lazard's office early to take the mission as soon as it came in and see if that changed anything.
Sephiroth, on the other hand, stayed to speak quietly with Genesis, asking him softly, "Do you know Cadet Fair from that future?"
"I do, actually," Genesis agreed quietly. "But unless Angeal doesn't decide to Mentor him on his own by the right time, I'll let that part play out on its own. He's a good kid. I don't want him to lose his innocence the way he did the first time through. Speaking of..." The red haired man paused, then leaned close to Sephiroth and said barely above a whisper, "My actual medical problem has been fixed, but Angeal has one as well. What will fix his is a transfusion of your blood, but we both know neither Hojo nor Hollander will allow that."
First, the silver haired man blinked, then blinked again and asked at about the same level as Genesis, "Why have I never heard of Angeal having a medical problem?"
"Because its progression was much slower...and I...Last time, my problem got out of hand and I started going insane. I took him with me, causing his problem to activate in full force suddenly. This time, that won't happen, but he still has the problem, and our greatest benefit to the situation is that we have a lot longer to get it fixed if I don't help push him off the deep end. For now, he's fine, but we need to find a doctor outside Shinra—and who won't report us directly back to them—to get the transfusion done, anyway," the older of the pair explained.
Sitting back in his seat at the kitchen table (the Cadets had appropriated the living room), Sephiroth gazed thoughtfully at the red haired man for a few minutes before giving a small nod. "Other issues are the priority, though it may be best to begin the search now, and take an opportunity should it present itself. Have you informed Angeal yet?"
"No."
"Why? This is of great concern to him."
"Yes, but—if he knows about this, he'll focus on it and drive himself mad long before he would have naturally deteriorated. Rather, my thought is for us to look for a doctor, make sure we have one available, then let him know so we can go right to the doctor soon after. If something happens and he needs to know sooner, I'll tell him. Please."
"...There is some logic to that for a process which is fairly simple to undergo. Very well. I hope things go so well in the meantime."
The two sat quietly for a minute, only for Zack to thump his arms on the table and ask plaintively, "So, when can we eat?"
"Zack! Don't be so rude!" Kunzel gasped in horror as Genesis and Sephiroth both blinked slowly at the fourteen-year-old.
After a moment, Genesis burst out laughing, cutting off whatever Zack was going to answer Kunzel with, and Sephiroth just sighed.
When Genesis stopped laughing, Zack asked curiously, "So...what was so funny?"
Shaking his head with an amused smile, the Commander answered, "Well, if you're both hungry, we have two options without Angeal—either we go to the cafeteria, or we send Seph to get some take-out. Which do you prefer?"
The two boys blinked, but then Zack muttered, "Don't got cash for take-out, but cafeteria food sucks...Geez..."
Kunzel sighed and shook his head, then said, "Maybe we should go to the cafeteria just for me to see if I can handle being around so many people."
"Do you feel ready for a test like that?" Genesis asked him curiously.
For a moment, the sixteen-year-old hesitated, then nodded. "I'd probably be in much worse shape if more had happened than what did, but I think—it might be worse for me later if I wait too long to find out. If I can't handle it, is there somewhere more quiet we could take our meals to?"
"SOLDIERs frequently take meals to the training floors, where there are several seating areas which are often far quieter than the cafeteria, though normally not completely unoccupied. You would be able to 'test' yourself without remaining in the press of people normally found in the cafeteria," Sephiroth offered.
Genesis nodded and said, "There's that. Have you decided if you want to try training this afternoon?"
"Maybe. If I can at least manage having a few people around me, I might be able to manage a bit of training, too."
"I'll train, too, if Kunzel wants to!" Zack agreed with a grin.
"We'll test it out, then," Genesis agreed, rising.
Sephiroth also stood, and the two led the way from his apartment to the cafeteria. Both older men realized Kunzel was more jumpy around more people, shying away from touch, but by the time they'd gotten to the training floors with their meals, where there were fewer people, he was holding his own better. They found a place to sit, eating leisurely as Zack first explored the room eagerly, ate, and began doing squats near the others, making Sephiroth send a mortified look at Genesis.
"Is he always so energetic?" the silver haired man asked in a strained tone, softly enough that only Genesis and Kunzel heard him.
"Yes," Kunzel answered in amusement. "Short attention span and all. You get used to it after awhile, though, and it starts to be more like...Same old, same old. He just grows on people that way, and once he's there, it's almost impossible to get rid of him."
"You make him sound like a fungus. Is that a good thing?" Sephiroth asked the younger man, giving his head a small shake in something like denial.
"One thing I now know for sure is that he's a true friend—he'll be there for you through thick and thin. I think putting up with his energy is worth it, since I don't think I'd be even as stable now as I am if he hadn't shown me I could count on him so surely," Kunzel replied, expression fond as he gazed absently across the room in Zack's general direction. There were three Thirds in the room who had also stopped a weapon comparison to watch Zack with mortified expressions, and the realization caused Kunzel to chuckle and add, "Even if he has a habit of attracting unwanted attention."
"This does not bother you, Genesis?" the General asked of the red haired man.
"Why should it?" Genesis asked in reply, gaze amused. "He seems to keep himself busy most of the time, so what he does isn't my business, and has no impact on me."
"That's true," Kunzel agreed. "So...training?"
Since Zack was done eating and Kunzel, Sephiroth, and Genesis were nearly, the red haired man gave a nod and said, "We can use—actually, if no one's in the VR room, we may be able to use it for some training. There's a scenario which mainly runs things like Kalm Fangs and Mus as opponents, and it would be valuable experience in fighting to deflect attacks. The main premise is that the one or ones on point would deflect and separate the attackers while the rest of the party would then target and kill the one or two opponents they'd be left with. It would also be useful for casting practice once I've shown you proper casting requirements for the basic spells. Seph, could you grab Kunzel a practice set in an Alpha?"
"Has he been assigned a set yet?" Sephiroth asked in reply.
"Lazard told me he can't give that authorization until Kunzel is officially a Third, so it has to wait until his tests and first infusion are done."
With a nod, Sephiroth pushed away the last bit of his meal and rose as he said, "I will return shortly, then."
"Oh, make sure one of his Materia is Lightning, would you?" Genesis asked as the silver haired man took a couple steps towards the doors. When Sephiroth inclined his head over his shoulder, the red haired man added, "Thanks!"