OVA 6

~As Expected, Haruno Remembers The Time They Shared~

After reading a particularly entertaining exchange between Hikigaya-kun and Shizuka-chan, I took the selfie that I was planning looking absolutely adorable in the Destiny Land Pan-san headband if I do say so myself. And after setting it as the background, I scrolled idly through a few of his recent pics before placing his phone back on the table.

It's still a bit of a mystery how he knew that I would love that hilarious image he sent to me of Hayato-kun. That expression on his face was absolutely priceless and with the cruel caption 'I won.' it was hard for me to stop laughing!

Hmm, did Yukino-chan let something slip to him, perhaps while talking in that little after-school club of theirs?

Taking a sip of the drink in front of me, I looked over to Hikigaya-kun. He was standing in the smoking section of the park with a cigarette, not far from where we were having lunch. Despite the summer heat, he was dressed in a black suit, similar to the ones I was used to seeing him in, only without the sunglasses he normally wore. Those dead eyes of his were giving off a familiar thousand-yard stare.

Oh, I could tell that he hated it here…

I knew that he hated crowds, and he said that this place reminds him too much of the Fucking Mouse.

Piff—!

Well~, you didn't have to bring me here Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun~.

Your onee-san would have totally gone paintballing with you again~, Y'know~.

But then again, he did look really cute with that matching headband I forced him to wear!

I discreetly took his picture using my smartphone.

I'll definitely have to show this to Shizuka-chan later!

'That THING you picked up is something that distorts our reality and should not exist. I'd advise that you throw it away, and do your best to ignore it, lest you become even more warped yourself, nee-san. Just the thought of you two together has already given me a nightmare…'

Hmm, I wonder if Yukino-chan will ever find out how right, she truly was.

Not only are the unique particular set of circumstances surrounding his existence truly bizarre, as they are hilarious: Piff—! A transmigrated former soldier turned high school student and pop songwriter!

But he really did end up distorting our reality Yukino-chan…

I was so disappointed when I found out that, that childish-minx, Mio-chan, had got her claws onto him first and had absconded with him to her own birthday party. Though now I suppose, I should feel disappointed that he dared to skip out on his 'scary as hell' onee-san's birthday party altogether.

However, whether he realized it or not, Hikigaya-kun really did end up giving me such a wonderful gift for my birthday…

I can still remember that night clearly, even now.

At first, I thought that I was just having a nostalgic lucid dream about the time on my eighteenth birthday when I forgot my school bag in the music room of the special building.

Just as I was climbing the school's gate, which felt very real in my hands, a voice I was familiar with and that wasn't supposed to be there, called out to me.

'Oi, just what the hell do you think you're doing…?'

I looked over my shoulder to find Hikigaya-kun standing there, staring blankly at me. As my eyes met his, it was as if he wasn't surprised at all by what I was doing, so with a mischievous smile that I knew he found a bit find unnerving, I stated the obvious.

"Ara~, isn't it obvious~? Breaking and entering~!"

'Yeah, I can see that, but what I meant was what the hell are YOU doing in high school uniform? I mean aren't you a little old to be wearing one Haruno…?'

Oh, did you not know Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun~? Now, this was going to be fun!

"Piff—ha-ha-ha~, Wow~, you're so rude~! I'm still in high school y'know~, but I could ask the same thing about you~, suspicious-stranger-kun~. So why are you wearing a Sobu uniform when I've never seen you at school before~, hmmm~?"

Whoa, now that was a reaction! It almost made him seem real. But this was still all just a dream Y'know~. It's not as if you're a time traveler or something, now wouldn't that be absurd? Hey, don't go to space on me Hikigaya-kun, your onee-san hasn't finished teasing you~.

"Hello~…, Earth to suspicious-stranger-kun~."

'Ehm, r-right well…, happy birthday and good luck with whatever you were doing Yukinoshita-san.'

Well, that was nice of him, even if it was a mistake on his part to give away that he knew it was my birthday.

Still looking a bit shaken, he turned on his heel and began to walk away, looking more like a delinquent as he fished out one of his cigarettes in his Sobu uniform.

I guess even if it was a dream I was having, he still didn't want to be a part of it… Not that your onee-san would ever let you get away that easily Hikigaya-kun~.

I hopped down the gate and rushed to catch him before he could leave.

"Hey~! Hold on a moment delinquent-kun~! No need to run away~!"

My mind was running through so many different scenarios to keep him in my company that I really did end up missing how real he felt when I ended up grabbing onto him. Though, I did note that he was still a gentleman that wouldn't smoke in my vicinity, that kind of consideration was something I liked about him, and something I really did wish Shizuka-chan would learn.

"You're not busy right now~, right delinquent-kun~? Whoa~ that super-annoyed reaction~! Ne~, ne~, would you mind doing me a favor and help me out with a little prank delinquent-kun~?"

'It wouldn't happen to involve a line marker and the school quad, would it?' He deadpanned like he was expecting all along that, that was how this night with me would turn out.

'Hmm~, now that IS an idea~! See~! You're helping out already~! And I really do like that in a person y'know… So let's go delinquent-kun~!'

Taking full advantage of the fun opportunity he presented for me, I linked my arm with his and dragged him towards the gate.

After helping me over the gate, we were soon standing in front of the unlocked equipment shed which he didn't even bat an eye when I produced the key to unlock it. Listening to what could only be described as a mission briefing, I couldn't help but wonder if he would ever realize just how much of this prank of mine he actually ended up leading. And although I could agree that 'I Am Here' was a nice sentiment, why he felt that it needed to be in some kind of code instead Japanese or English was a bit beyond me. Even so, it was still very assuming to watch him work as I gave him directions.

Upon completing a prank that felt like it came straight out of an anime, and putting the equipment we used away, it wasn't long until I was leading him toward the special building walking arm in arm.

'Um…, Yukinoshita-san…'

"Ara~, you can call me Haruno~! Just like you did when we first met~! We seemed sooo much closer back then y'know~?!"

I teased as I pressed into him.

'Ha-ha-ha…, so Yukinoshita-san…'

Piff—! That super-annoyed expression!

"You're stubborn, aren't you? How cute~."

'Yukinoshita-san, was there a reason why you were out here so late pulling a prank?'

Were you worried about your onee-san Hikigaya-kun~, how cute~.

Well, instead of giving him something boring like the truth, I settled for a half-truth that fit the mood.

"Who knows…, when you live a life where you're forced to negotiate and compromise all the time, sometimes you can't help but try to find a release from it all…"

'I see.'

"Oh and thanks for wishing me a happy birthday by the way~! No one else did… It seems as if everyone totally forgot about it~!"

Not that I blame my friends at school for something I didn't make clear, as for my family, well, it couldn't be helped if they weren't here. Still, it really was nice to hear…

'It's not a problem.'

Oh, it looks like you realized your mistake Hikigaya-kun~.

"So~, do you have a name delinquent-kun~?"

'It's John Smith.'

"Piff—HA~! So lame~!"

Are you serious?! I could have sworn that, that was from an anime. Maybe the time I spent with Shizuka-chan has warped my subconscious brain…

'Well…, any name I give you will just sound like a lie at this point anyway.'

"So you're living a lie hmm~… how interesting~…"

Now, was that something I could certainly relate too…

"Well, wait here for a sec delinquent-kun~, I'm sure we can sort out your whole identity crisis in just a bit~!"

'Yes~, yes~.'

Detaching myself from him, I unlocked the music room that I frequently used and entered to look for the bag I left.

I was a bit surprised to see him just casually enter a room that Shizuka-chan would occasionally describe as having a horrible atmosphere. Naturally, I knew about the room's atmosphere so I wasn't really expecting him to follow me in there. But there Hikigaya-kun was, looking almost bored as he went to sit at the piano I donated to the school like it was something of a habit for him.

And just as I was about to pick up the school bag I left in the room, I froze as I heard him play the piano in the room…

Now THAT was a song I never heard before…, nor was it something that I would compose.

It was different.

He was different.

At that moment, all the little details I had been dismissing as too absurd, came clearly into focus.

Lucid dream or not, Hikigaya Hachiman was Here and he was Real…

WHAT THE…?

I instantly clamped down on the shock I was feeling and dismissed the dozen or so hypotheses about how or why this was happening.

Right then, they were unimportant to me, instead, I focused on the melody his right hand was now playing.

At first, I tried Japanese then quickly switched over to English to match words to the song he was playing.

It wasn't long before I realized that he might actually be trolling his onee-san!

Still, I had to admit the rude tune was catchy and that he did seem to have a talent for this…

Oh~, she's sweet but a psycho~ A little bit psycho~ At night~, she's screamin'~, I'm-ma-ma-ma out my mind~

Oh~, she's hot but a psycho~ So left~, but she's right though~ At night~, she's screamin'~, I'm-ma-ma-ma out my mind~

No, he was defiantly trolling his onee-san with this one!

Grab-a-cop-gun kinda crazy~ She's poison but tasty~

"Yeah, people say~, Run~! Don't walk away~!"

"'Cause she's sweet but a psycho~ Oh~, a little bit psycho~ At night~, she's screamin'~, 'I'm-ma-ma-ma out my mind~'"

I winced as Hikigaya-kun botched that last chord.

"Ne~, Ne~, that was a very interesting song you played just now~, delinquent-kun~!"

'I-Is that so, Yukinoshita-san?'

"Yes~, I had no Idea you could play the piano~! And you're pretty good y'know~!"

I felt Hikigaya-kun go rigid as I clapped my hands on his shoulders and leaned into his back as I began to whisper into his ear.

"'Oh~, she's sweet but a psycho~ A little bit psycho~ At night~, she's screamin'~…,' Say~, who were you thinking about when you created that song delinquent-kun~?"

'Ahem, um j-just about a s-scary onee-san I know, Yukinoshita-san…'

"Just a scary onee-san~, hmmm~…"

He reflexively jerked his head away.

'Um, Y-Yukinoshita-san my ears are sensitive, so…'

"Piff—Ha-Ha-Ha~! Wow~, so you know a SCARY onee-san huh~?! That's hilarious~!"

'Oi, Oi! Stop shaking me! Did you find what you're looking for? We're still trespassing here, you knooooow~.'

"Ah~! Sorry about that~. I guess we should leave right~?"

'Affirmative.'

Grabbing the school bag I left, we exited the special building and headed for the gate at a run.

"Ne~, was that scary onee-san your girlfriend delinquent-kun~?!"

'Negative!'

"Ara~, but you thought she was hot though~!"

'P-probably…'

"Heh~! I bet you and that onee-san totally dated delinquent-kun~!"

'That doesn't change the fact that she's scary as hell Yukinoshita-san!'

"Piff—HA~! You totally just admitted it delinquent-kun~! And I don't mind if you call me Haruno y'know~?!"

'Shit! —We're at the gate! Climb To fucking Glory Haruno-san!'

"Piff—Ha-Ha-Ha~! Hey~! You totally sounded like a soldier there~!"

'It's not a problem!'

Vaulting over the school's gate we continued our run until we neared the first intersection.

"Ha~, well that was fun soldier-kun~!"

'Tch.'

'So you caught on to that huh…'

"Well~, I could tell just by looking at your mannerisms y'know~."

'*Sigh* Of course you could…'

"So are you finally going to tell me what you're doing out here wearing that Sobu uniform~, suspicious-delinquent-soldier-kun~?"

Don't think your scary as hell onee-san would let you run away without a proper explanation Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun~.

'Ahem, well…, I…, um, just came back to…, Japan. And I was going to go to school, here, tomorrow… Only now that, I Am Here, I realized that in the end, there really was no place for me here… After all, none of my names are fuckin real, Haruno-san…'

Now that certainly was a very interesting and true explanation Hikigaya-kun…

At that moment I could tell by how those dead eyes of his were hardening into a cold edge from the thousand-yard stare he was giving, that he was planning on leaving. And if I didn't stop him now, he would somehow return to fight on another battlefield, and by doing so, all of this would come to an end…

And that would just be too boring for me to accept.

"Ne~, if you don't have anywhere to go~, then why don't you just come to stay at my home~?"

'Huh?'

Once again I link my arm with his as I decided to kidnap him. After all, I couldn't just let him go after he dared to call me a scary as hell onee-san!

"If all of your names aren't real soldier-kun~, we can just come up with a new one so you can stay here~!"

'What's wrong with John Smith?'

"No good soldier-kun~! That name just doesn't suit you~!"

'Um, then what about Sagara, Haruno-san?'

"Sagara-kun hmmm~… I guess that does fit you a bit better so it'll have to do~!"

'Wait, how will you explain this to your parents Haruno-san?'

"Piff—Ha-Ha-Ha~! I'll just tell them the truth~! That I picked up a former child-soldier on the way from school~!"

After settling him in a guest room, I went to bed half expecting the dream to end. Only to wake up the next morning to the fact that it didn't.

Three years…

We shared three wonderful carefree years without consequence in what I can only now describe as a closed-off reality that realistically mirrored the past.

The whole surreal experience makes me question if the world we're living in was an even bigger lie than I originally thought it had been…

Of course, my father instantly caught on to what he was, and it wasn't long before daddy took full advantage of him. I learned then that you really needed to be careful about the orders you gave him.

Poor Yukino-chan hated him, although their interactions with each other were extremely entertaining to watch.

And I found it hilarious how absolutely terrified he was of my mother, especially when the person he really should've feared the most was THAT woman.

Sometimes I had to wonder how a total airhead like him ever made it in the Army as a soldier. It would only be at the start of the following year after I had recklessly antagonized some of the local Yakuza for fun, that I found out…

*CHack-CHack.*

I was tied up in a chair and held in a back room of a night club that was being renovated.

*CHack-CHack.*

I noticed a strange sound that was quiet at first but grew steadily louder.

*CHack-CHack. CHack-CHack.*

'Gah! Where the hell are those punks with the van?! Heh, you're lucky your father is a Diet Member girly…'

*Bang! Bang! Bang!*

Three loud knocks sounded from the door behind me.

'About fuckin time!'

'WH—!'* CHack-CHack!*

Along with the nauseating smell of iron mixed with gunpowder Hikigaya-kun, dressed in the standard black security suit and wearing his usual sunglasses, was holding a silenced pistol as he cleared the room with a brutal efficiency that was unnerving.

'Winter Land this is Urzu Seven, inform Winter King and Ice Witch that the Principal is secure and that I'm commencing with extraction. Be advised, clean up is required, my location, over.'

There was blood on his cheek…

'Rodger that Winter Land, will proceed to rendezvous point Alpha. Urzu Seven, out.'

As he cut the ropes that bind me I couldn't help but ask him…

"Where did you get that gun Sagara-kun?"

'это секретно~.'

Later when I asked him about the Russian he spoke, all he only said was that he picked it up to piss-off the terrorists.

The thought that everything concerning that incident had ended there, only proved to be naïve a few days later…

[This morning several Yakuza members were arrested in connection to the suspected Al-Qaeda terrorist bombing that had occurred in Chiba city late last evening. We go now live to Mori Sayuri who's on the scene reporting…]

'Always remember that any problem can be solved with the right amount of explosive ordnance, Haruno-san.'

And he said that I was scary… There was no hesitation in the utterly ruthless actions he ended up taking, and although the callous disregard for the lives he took was a bit worrying, I never once felt that he was dangerous to me or my family. After all, in his own way, he was still good person and we weren't the enemy…

I'm sorry Shizuka-chan…, but good deeds really should be rewarded, and after he saved me like that… well; let's just say that would end up making for a particularly memorable experience come graduation day…

Following that, there would be many other fun little adventures that we would share together, and I did find it rather amusing how he seemed to believe that he could just slip back into the life he was living, especially after all the chaos he ended up causing.

Piff—! Hikigaya-kun really is an airhead, isn't he…

"So what do you want to do next Haruno?"

Snapping my attention back to the present I looked up to Hikigaya-kun who was now staring at his smartphone.

Piff—! With that super-annoyed expression of his, coupled with the Pan-san headband he was wearing made him look absolutely adorable!

Hmm, it just might be a waste to let Shizuka-chan have him… Just kidding~! I could never be that cruel to Shizuka-chan~…, although, maybe she wouldn't mind sharing him~!

Clearing away that particularly amusing idle thought, I Stood up and locked my arm with his.

"Ne~, how about we try that roller coaster over there~?!"

"Yes~, yes~, Rodger that, Haruno."

Now, just what other fun and interesting things will you show your onee-san~?

"Hmm~, hmm~, sweet but a psycho~ A little bit psycho~…"

"Geh! That—"

"Is something the matter~, Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun~?"

"N-Negative. Ahem, um, let's hurry up before the line gets longer."

I really can't wait to see them~, Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun~.

Author's Note:

I'm sure it will be fine Jerry, that's a public building, so it's not like you'll get charged for 'insurrection' just for entering… that would be silly!

Look, all you need to do is slip that paper into the next Omnibus Bill so we can get some funding, and don't worry about it Jerry, after all, it's not like those idiots in Congress can read!

Ah! I didn't see you there Reader-san! H-How did you get in here anyways…?

What?! Congress?! You don't need to worry about Reader-san! More importantly, I hear there may have been some confusion with the whole time travel thing! So let's see if I can clear that up for you!

So Isekaigaya did, in fact, time-slip and got stuck in the past for three years. And only after saying some cryptic bullshit to fuck with his past self and said past self skipped Tanabata, did Isekaigaya wake from his 'nightmare'.

Why the confusing time travel? You are reading a story about transmigration or whatever, so the supernatural element is already there Reader-san!

Now about this OVA…, oh and please don't un-Follow and un-Fav for an OVA Reader-san! It's not an Episode~!

Anyways, I'm not honestly sure if I should have released this one…

Hey! Stop touching things death-chan! And stay the hell away from my computer!

Ahem! Writing from Haruno's perspective is really super difficult, so I'm not quite sure if it turned out so well…

I Know! A poll! You like polls right Reader-san?!

Option A: You should delete this garbage, you Hack!

Option B: Nobody cares and stop talking to me…

Option C: Fire Engine…?

So just fill that out, and don't forget to sign this non-disclosure form before you go! And how about taking Morgan Freeman with you Reader-san?!

We really, really, can't afford him, especially not after losing those tea-totaling Bothans I poached from Spiff-Co!

As always thank you for your Follows, Favs, and reviews!

Oh and shout-out to THOTSLAYER9000! This hero made it all the way to Chapter 9 before setting this trash on fire!

I mean yeah, there was that guy who was all like 'Nah', but he seemed kinda polite. But seriously though, where is the hate ya'll?! Where are the trolls?! And here I was beginning to think that Sexalonenious lied to me about the internet... This is a Fan-fic with an OC you knooooow~!

So THOTSLAYER9000, be sure to report to your nearest firing squad, so I can salute you!

Oh, and Special thanks to Terdwilicker-sensei! If you have time, hop over to mediaminer to check out his awesome works!

And what up?! CrazyxEnigma-san, Enver-Pasha-san, Rando-Guest-san, and all the others in the reviews!

Hackman8 out!

…

No wait, why am I leaving…?

Get out of my house Reader-san! And take Morgan Freeman with you!

The pool is closed! Option C: Fire Engine…? for the win! Well shit… Ahem! Next Episode coming soon! Believe it! Probably…

[App Fren-ly End Space]