Hey everyone! I survived finals and the semester! Whoooooo's ready for some clone angst!!!
OneLittleSpark18: Thank you so much for the support! I don't forsee updating to be a problem, even with school, but I'm so grateful for your guys' understanding. Thanks for the Dark Disciple info, I need to read it. Your comments always make my day!
Omahawar1940: Lol, I thought you did it on purpose and it made me laugh.
nw150: Darn right we're getting the RC books in here. I consume a Clone Wars era (ish) media, and I am compelled to add it to my fic. As you will see in this chapter. And I can at least say a certain Jedi is involved...
jainasoloFel600: Thank you!!! I hope this one is just as good.
TW: implied/mentioned child abuse, implied/mentioned child death
Mando'a translations at the end!
Never before had Rex hated being around his brothers. Now he would rather be almost anywhere else than in this ship, surrounded by vod'e. Some paced, like Fives. Others sat and stared blankly, or buried their faces like Jesse. Still others just stood, waiting. For once there was no chatter, no jokes. Even those who didn't find the situation so bad were silenced by the heavy despair of most.
Many of the clones wore civvies. Only a few were in their armor and fewer still had brought their helmet like Rex had.
Rex wanted to join Jesse, to curl away from the situation. He couldn't. He was a Captain. He had a duty.
So he moved among the men, whispering words of comfort and asking names. Some reacted with anger to his consolation, others with attempted good cheer. Some brothers Rex held as they wept. One in particular sobbed that he'd be decommissioned the second he returned.
They had been provided with the exact amount of rations and water needed for the days long trip. Rex took charge of distributing it. He organized exercises to distract the few hundred troopers in their cargo bay. He separated the men into their battalions, so they could be with brothers they knew. He did everything he possibly could to keep his mind from wandering back to Coruscant. To the General and Chancellor. To the twins. To Ahsoka.
Then the trip was over and the ship's doors opened to a rain lashed walkway. Brothers in white and grey were waiting for them. Rex could see the faint lights of other ships landing on other platforms. He looked to the lights of Tipoca City. Was Cody already here?
They were marched into the city. Rex felt like a prisoner as they were led through the pristine white halls.
"Rex!" A voice hissed.
Rex glanced behind to see Jesse half supporting Fives. Fives' eyes were dazed and he was breathing heavily. Rex swore and slackened his pace to be side by side with his brothers.
"Fives?" Rex asked, taking his brother's other arm.
"Rex?" Fives muttered. His eyes got wide and he clutched at Rex. "Rex, you have to believe me. There are chips in our heads- "
"I know, Fives." Rex said in an undertone. "Fives, it's okay. The war is over, remember? I need you to focus."
"You know-? How could you know?" Fives asked. "Nobody knows. That's why Tup- he- he died."
Fives leaned more heavily on Rex.
"Fives, vod, you have to listen to me. The war is over. We've all come back to Kamino." Rex said hurriedly. They were approaching their destination and it would not be good for a Kaminoan to see Fives like this. "You need to concentrate."
Fives seemed to focus a little.
"Yeah." He said. "Yeah. All that happened a while ago."
He straightened some and Rex and Jesse were able to let go. Rex could tell his brother was still somewhat disorientated.
"Hang in there, Fives." He whispered as they shuffled into a single file. Up ahead Rex could see a biochip scanner being watched over by a Kaminoan. Each clone was being scanned in before being ushered into the next room. Rex held out his arm. The scanner made a slightly different noise. The Kaminoan looked down.
"CT-7567." It said. "Position yourself at the front of the processing chamber."
Rex grit his teeth and moved into the room. It was large, empty and white. The floor was covered in small grey marks equally spaced apart. Clones stood on many of these. The front row was empty. Rex took his place with his back to the others.
After a few more minutes and more shuffling, the Kaminoan came to the front of the room.
"Remove all clothing." The Kaminoan announced. "This includes armor issued by the Grand Army of the Republic. Place discarded clothing in front of yourself."
A moment of silence. Then Rex slowly reached up and began to undo his armor. He could hear the others do the same.
It was a strangely silent affair. There was none of the usual wisecracking about each other's bodies or comments on tattoos or scars.
Soon his armor, blacks and undergarments made a pathetic pile in front of him. Rex hesitated before placing his helmet on top.
It was only a piece of equipment. He shouldn't feel that stab of something close to grief as he considered that his armor would most likely be disposed of.
His jaig eyes seemed to stare at him. He unconsciously reached up to rub the tattoo of the markings on his shoulder. He at least would not lose them completely.
"Please proceed to the next room." The Kaminoan said.
They marched forward. Rex was already back in the mindset of Kamino. On Coruscant he'd have been embarrassed, conscious of his nakedness. Now he merely marched forward as if it was natural to walk about ciryc'sheb.
The wall slid open to a new room, empty as well. The Kaminoan didn't follow them in.
As soon as they were all in the door slid shut behind them. A mist descended upon them. With a cough, Rex recognized it as a sanitation spray. That meant-
Rex stared straight ahead as a droid scrubbed every inch of his body. It was none too gentle either. Rex winced as it passed over his lower body. He felt raw and scoured as it moved on.
A medical droid approached Rex. He continued to stare straight ahead as he was poked and prodded. He breathed when he was told to breathe. He turned and coughed when he was told to turn and cough. He did everything the machine told him to until it beeped at him in a satisfied manner. It moved on to somewhere behind him.
Rex stood at attention as he waited. The temperature in Kaminoan buildings was always calculated to be comfortable, at least for people wearing clothes. Rex found himself suppressing a shiver.
The noise he was dreading sounded behind him. A negative result for a trooper.
"You will follow the medical droid, CT-3057." The Kaminoan said over an intercom.
Rex chanced a glance behind to see the targeted clone trailing behind one of the medical droids. Rex could see he was trembling, either from fear or cold.
There was a chance the trooper had a temporary illness or defect that the Kaminoans determined worth curing. Rex clung to that hope as the hapless trooper was led through a side door.
The silence somehow became more oppressive as the door slid shut.
Rex focused on his breathing as the tests continued behind him. He knew breathing exercises that would help calm him. Ahsoka had-
The thought of Ahsoka suddenly was like a commando droid's fist to the stomach. He shoved her from his mind and focused on the breathing, not who had taught it to him.
Two more troopers were taken away before the Kaminoan came to the front and addressed them again.
"You are no longer members of the Grand Army of the Republic. You are soldiers of Kamino. You will report to Kaminoans and others we deem fit as leaders." The Kaminoan announced.
Rex didn't think it would ever hurt to be told he was no longer part of the GAR. He had thought that if it ever happened, it would be accompanied by relief. It was not the case.
"The Jedi allowed many things that will not be allowed here. As of now, you will be clean shaven with hair cut to regulation. There will be no alteration to your hair color."
Rex swallowed as the Kaminoan's eyes lingered on him. Maybe they'd let him shave his hair like when he was a cadet. He didn't want attention drawn to his 'defect.'
Ahsoka had said she loved his hair.
No! Rex thought to himself. He would not think of her. He needed no more distractions.
"You will receive phase III armor." The Kaminoan went on. "You will not alter it in any way. There will be no decorations. You will not tattoo yourselves."
The Kaminoan looked carefully at the crowd of naked, discouraged clones.
"Nicknames are prohibited. You are your number."
Rex froze. Even before, names were frowned upon, but not forbidden.
"You will speak Basic at all times."
Mando'a is forbidden. Rex knew that's what the Kaminoan was saying. It was another heavy blow.
"The Jedi have damaged you by allowing these things. In order for the army to be at maximum efficiency, these things must be done away with. There are no individuals. You are one."
Rex could almost feel the despair of the troopers behind him. This was worse than they could have ever imagined.
A new Kaminoan entered the room.
"CT-7567. Follow me." The new long neck droned.
Rex glanced one more time behind him, straining to see Jesse and Fives. He managed to catch Jesse's eyes. Jesse met his gaze and nodded slightly.
Rex moved to follow the Kaminoan. He was led into a new, smaller room with a few other clones, similarly stripped down. Rex had to suppress a shout of joy as he recognized Wolffe, Appo, and Howzer. And there was Bly, and Doom, and Thorn. Rex realized the room was filled with Commanders and Captains. Howzer briefly glanced at Rex and raised his eyebrow slightly. Wolffe also took a look at Rex and his eyebrows furrowed. Bly's shoulders were ever so slightly hunched and his eyes ever so slightly lowered. It was blindingly obvious in the room of straight backed at attention soldiers. Rex felt his heart sink as he moved to his place. Where was Cody?
Probably already processed, Rex told himself. Cody would have been there for a few days now.
"You are the former Commanders and Captains of the GAR." The Kaminoan at the front said. "You are a valuable asset. Your skills are now to be applied in other areas. The best must be used to train the next generation of clones. Each of you will be assigned to a squad of cadets as their trainers. You will be assigned one assistant."
Rex tried not to raise an eyebrow. The best of the GAR, the leaders, designated for training the littles? It seemed wrong to him. If the clones were to be redeployed, wouldn't they be needed?
"You will be called forward one at a time to receive your equipment, be briefed on your squad and introduced to your assistant." The Kaminoan said. "First, CC-3636."
Wolffe stepped forward into the next room. Rex hoped the cadets Wolffe was assigned to had thick skin. One by one Rex's brothers were called forward until Rex was alone.
"CT-7567." The Kaminoan droned, as if Rex was not the only one left. Rex walked into the next room.
Another trooper came in at the same time. He was lucky enough to be actually wearing plain grey and white armor. He was completely 'standard issue', his hair regulation and face bald. The trooper's eyes widened in recognition as he saw Rex, though Rex had no clues as to who he was.
There was a set of armor and fatigues on a table. Rex waited for the Kaminoan to gesture to it before moving to dress himself. He chose the armor rather than the fatigues. He never really liked the red outfits.
The new armor was good. Rex could tell immediately. It fit just as well as Phase II, but Rex could see similarities with Phase I. The helmet was even more removed from the Mandalorian base. Rex would have to explore its HUD later.
"CT-7567, this is your assistant, CT-1743." The Kaminoan said.
Boil. Rex's assistant was Boil. Rex nearly cracked a smile at the news. It was such a relief to know the brother he'd be working with. He hadn't recognized the 212th trooper without his mustache or distinctive armor.
"You are assigned to Kilo Squad." The Kaminoan said. "You may experience- complications. There was an unfortunate accident with their previous trainer and sixth member of their squad yesterday. The trainer is deceased and the cadet was decommissioned."
Rex blinked at that. He waited for an explanation and received none. Instead the Kaminoan handed Rex and Boil a data pad each.
"This contains their information and schedules. Follow me."
Rex and Boil followed him through the door and down another hallway. Finally they reached another door.
"They will be preparing for sleep." The Kaminoan said. "Do not disturb their routine."
"Where will our quarters be?" Rex asked.
The Kaminoan stared at him.
"There is a new policy." He said. "All trainers share quarters with their squad."
Rex blinked. That was certainly new. And gave Rex and Boil less chance of spending time with their close brothers.
He swept away, leaving Rex and Boil to their new fates.
Rex opened the door. It was a thin room, with eight pods embedded in the wall. There was very little extra space. Five cadets were bunched on the far end. At the sight of Rex and Boil, they huddled, one taking the front in a protective way. The boy, looking around six standard, had dark bruises discoloring the side of his face.
Rex stared at them. They stared back, eyes filled with fear. How could they be frightened of a brother? Looking closer, each bore bruises about their faces and necks.
Rex swallowed.
"Cadets," he started. "I am- I am-"
The dam broke. He struggled to push his raging emotions back in. This was not the place! He reached for his helmet, then froze as he was met with smooth, unmarked plastoid. It was not his helmet.
The helmet dropped to the floor with a clatter.
Rex was in hell, his own personal haran of rain and white walls and of long neck devils that declared his brothers less than sentient. This place where he had endured pain, humiliation, and loss, and seemed destined to endure it all again. His brothers would be destroyed for perceived sins that were often not their fault. They were no longer human. They were products.
Rex's legs gave out. He was on his knees, and he leaned over them. He barely heard Boil call his name. A distant part of him shouted. He could not break here. He needed to wait.
Tears began forming and Rex put his hands to his head.
And now he had to train these boys to die. Boys who had already been through pain. Boys who for some reason had reason to fear their own.
Ahsoka had been right about this place.
Ahsoka.
Oh Force, Ahsoka.
The twins, the Generals, the Chancellor, even his closest brothers. All had been torn away from him in a single blow.
He was weeping openly now. Silent sobs shook his shoulders.
Ahsoka.
The thought of her ripped at his already aching heart. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be home with her.
Small arms wrapped around his neck. Someone pressed against his mind in an attempt to soothe his grief. Ahsoka? No, it was different, less refined, and so subtle Rex could swear he imagined it.
Then little hands began to wipe away his tears.
"Don't cry." The young voice ordered.
Rex opened his eyes to look into the brown gaze of one of the cadets. His face was a solemn mask, but his eyes betrayed concern. Somehow, the fact that hands with bruised wrists would wipe away his tears made it all worse. The tears came faster. The boy was kind. Kind in a world where compassion was to be suppressed and erased. And Rex was a tool meant to suppress that kindness.
What other traits had these boys been born with that would be squashed by their fate? That Rex was supposed to crush?
The boy tilted his head as if confused, one hand on Rex's cheek.
"You're crying for us?" He asked.
Rex nodded slowly.
"You don't deserve this." He croaked.
The boy studied him for a moment, then glanced at Boil.
"They're good." The cadet said, slightly louder. "They're safe."
"Are you sure?" One of the others asked.
"Yeah." The cadet in front of Rex said.
He wrapped his spindly arms around Rex again. Rex should have been the one comforting these boys, but here he was, on the ground, being held by his vod'ika. How pathetic.
The thought allowed him to stop the tears, though he felt he could weep well into the night. Now he had a kriffing headache.
"Okay." Rex said, patting the cadet clinging to him on the back. Best not to acknowledge what just happened. He breathed a few more times through his nose before continuing. "It's late. We can start getting to know each other tomorrow."
The other cadets looked at each other.
"Come on, '01." The cadet with the most extensive bruising said slowly.
'01 let go of Rex and backed away. Boil helped Rex to his feet.
"Are you okay, vod?" Boil asked as the cadets quietly climbed to their pods.
"Yeah." Rex lied. "Let's just get some rest. It'll be better in the morning."
Boil hesitated, but nodded. Rex dragged himself up the ladder and to the topmost bunk.
He laid down in the pod and shut it. He was alone for the first time since he left Coruscant.
The tears came again. This time he embraced them until sleep finally took hold.
She found him drowning in despair. She carried him to a place of starlight and peace. She dried his tears and held him close, though her mere presence made him weep all the more. He begged to know if she was all right. She didn't bother asking him the same. She knew. Of course she knew. She soothed him as best she could in the short time and fragile connection they had.
There was as much pain as there was relief in her touch. He couldn't stand having only a ghost of her presence. It was a reminder of everything he was losing, her most of all.
He couldn't do this, haunted by her only in his dreams.
He asked her to break their connection.
She resisted. She needed him.
He needed her too, but all of her. He would break with this constant reopening of the wound.
Finally, she relented. She asked for just a few more moments with what they had. She wasn't quite ready to let go of his hand. He couldn't say no.
For a few moments that felt like hours, she held him in her arms as he tried to pull himself back together.
As wakefulness tugged at him, they parted, with a brief feeling of her forehead on his. Her goodbye echoed in his head as he woke.
Rex's headache persisted when he opened his eyes. He stared at the underside of his pod, gripping to the feeling of his dream. A sense of melancholy trailed from the memory of it. He couldn't remember the details, only that Ahsoka had been there. They had been able to say a proper goodbye. There had been a warm pinprick in his mind, something that had been so wonderfully Ahsoka. It was gone now.
He finally pulled himself to a sitting position and groaned. He hadn't taken his armor off last night, which was always a mistake. Everywhere ached. He glanced at the chrono inside the pod. 0430. A little time before the cadets would wake up. Rex took up the data pad he'd been provided with the night before.
He scrolled through the reports of the squad. CT-3335, CT-0227, CT-4644, CT-4645, CT-4514, and CT-7001. They were all three years old, six physically. Normal scores, with the occasional spike in results. Nothing out of the ordinary. Their trainer was a clone, CT-2517.
That gave Rex pause. The cadets had been beaten. There was no question about it. But to have a brother beat them? Rex himself had been punished physically during his training, but his trainer had been an unbalanced Mandalorian who saw him as defective. Not his brother.
Brothers were supposed to protect one another. There was rough housing, yes, and punching a brother in the face was not unheard of. There was often bullying within the ranks of cadets, and even sometimes amidst the troopers. But these were littles. Ad'ike! You did not strike brothers so much younger than you, let alone beat them black and blue.
What was wrong with this trooper that he had felt compelled to do so?
Rex did not expect the reports to detail the cadets' abuse, but he had expected them to be off. They weren't, if they were written by a Kaminoan. '17's use of the word 'it' in reference to the cadets and the subtly negativity of it all mirrored the long-necks' opinions of them.
Rex checked the chrono again. 0503. The cadets must have been sleeping in; Rex hadn't heard a sound.
He ejected the pod and was met with the sight of five cadets standing primly in a row. Boil was standing right below and glanced up as Rex popped out.
"There you are." Boil said in an undertone. "I got up a bit early, couldn't sleep, and they were like that at 0445!"
Rex raised an eyebrow. They were certainly disciplined. He tried not to think of the methods used to get them like that. Four of the five cadets had some level of fear on their faces. The fifth, '01 from the night before, stood as relaxed as one could be at attention. Rex slowly made his way down the ladder and stood before them.
He watched them. Perfect little soldiers. Rex couldn't help but think of himself at that age. He had tried to seem the same way. A warmth spread in his chest. He could care for his little brothers.
"Good morning, cadets." Rex said.
There was no response. Five pairs of eyes stared at him.
"At ease." Rex said.
They all relaxed slightly, but only '01 looked comfortable.
"I am Captain Rex, your new trainer." Rex said. "This is Boil, my assistant."
Confusion crossed their faces, but not one spoke.
"Starting here," Rex motioned to where '01 stood at the end of the line. "You will give me your number and name, if you have one."
"CT-7001, sir." '01 said promptly. He met Rex's eyes.
He was the only one to do so. The other four kept their eyes downcast as they stated their numbers. Not one had a name.
A few months ago, Rex would have found that normal. Now he found the fact upsetting. Another blow to their status as sentient.
"It's all right that you don't have names yet." Rex told them. He found himself speaking in a similar way to the tone of voice he used with the twins. His Captain voice seemed to escape him. That was probably for the best for these frightened boys.
"We'll help you figure it out." Rex went on. "Now, what do we do first, vod'e?"
The boys became more confused.
"What's vod-a?" '01 piped up.
Rex shouldn't have been surprised. '17 didn't seem like the type to teach his brothers Mando'a. But wasn't Vod'e An part of the flash training?
"Have you not learned Vod'e An?" Boil voiced Rex's question.
"No, sir." '01 said.
It seemed the Kaminoans were trying to remove any form of roots from this new generation. It made Rex's stomach churn.
"Vod'e is Mando'a for brothers." Rex said. "Mando'a is the language of the Mandalorians. Jango Fett was Mandalorian."
"But then why did you call us brothers?" A new cadet asked, '35, Rex thought. "We're not brothers. We're clones."
It was another blow to Rex's heart. He stepped forward and knelt in front of the line of cadets.
"We are brothers." Rex said, slowly enunciating each word. "It doesn't matter what the Kaminoans tell you. Every clone is a brother."
Five pairs of eyes were fixated on him.
"I don't know what your previous trainer told or did to you, but he was wrong." Rex went on. He was resolved. These boys would not have the same experience he had had. "We're brothers and we take care of each other. I'm going to take care of you."
He trailed his eyes over the line of cadets. '01 looked enraptured, the others apprehensive.
"All right." Rex said. "What do we do first?"
The morning went smoothly. All five cadets were the picture of obedience and routine. Rex had caught a glimpse of their bodies when they visited the sonics. The bruises were not restricted to their wrists and faces.
"What the hell was wrong with this guy?" Boil muttered to Rex as they waited for the cadets.
To Rex's disappointment, breakfast was only with cadets of the same age. The trainers were a mix of bounty hunters and other clones. Rex only vaguely recognized one brother, a Commander Levet, but they had never really interacted. The other clone gave Rex a nod, which he returned. Kilo Squad ate quietly and quickly in the corner of the mess. They didn't talk amongst themselves, let alone with the other squads. Rex gave a quick look over the other squads. Some looked a little roughed up, but only those under the care of a bounty hunter. Those with brothers had no marks on them.
"So," Rex said to the cadets as they finished. "Tell me about your training."
The cadets looked at each other.
"Sir." '35 said. "You have our record."
"I want to hear it from you." Rex said. "What are you learning?"
"The different planets!" '45 said eagerly. "Yesterday we learned about Coruscant!"
Then he straightened to attention in his seat, drawing his lips to a tight line.
"I lived on Coruscant." Rex said, encouraging. "Maybe I can help you get a better picture."
But '44 had nudged '45, shaking his head. '45 kept his stiff posture, avoiding Rex's eyes.
"Sir, it's time for our drills" '35 interjected.
"We have another ten minutes of meal time." Rex said.
"We have finished our meal, sir." '35 said. He was staring at a point past Rex. "There is no need to stay here, sir."
"Do the rest of you want to go to drills?" Rex asked. He remembered lingering with his batchmates at meal times.
All of them nodded, except '01. '35 gave his brother a sharp look. '01 stared back defiantly.
"I see." Rex said. "Kilo, move out."
He let '35 lead the way, trailing behind to listen.
"What are you doing?" '44 hissed to '45. "You can't talk to our trainer like that!"
"I know, I'm sorry." '45 said. "I just thought- well, '01 says he's fine and he seems really nice!"
'44 just scowled.
"Trainers aren't nice." He growled.
Rex pretended to not hear them.
'35 led the physical drills. He seemed to be the natural leader here. Rex watched them to get a feel for what they were doing. They were nearing the end of the first phase of training, it seemed. Soon they'd be working with blasters and ordnance.
Rex remembered the first time he'd dealt with ordnance. It had been a simulation, but Rex had cried. Then he had berated himself for his weakness. Now he wondered if that wasn't the appropriate reaction for a child when presented with explosions.
Lunch came and went. The meal was as silent and reserved as breakfast. Rex took the cadets to the auditorium 38b, where the squad's flash training would take place. Rex was unsure what he and Boil would be doing until the Kaminoan overseeing the cadets approached them.
"You are new trainers." He said.
Rex nodded.
"You are to spend this time keeping up your own skills." The Kaminoan said and directed them to the nearby training facilities.
Rex threw himself into the training with a vengeance. He had been busy with the cadets, now he had to be busy with himself. He could not let his mind wander. Luckily, Rex was in the practice of wiping his mind while in action. Most clones could devote their entire beings to whatever activity they were performing.
"This sucks, doesn't it?" Boil asked.
They had just been sparring, Rex beating Boil handily, and had paused for a water break.
Rex gave a non commital grunt. He didn't want to talk about how much it 'sucked.' He knew how much it 'sucked.' It 'sucked' so much he'd had a complete breakdown in front of five cadets and Boil.
"I don't know why they put me here." Boil grumbled. "What part of my record made them think I wanted to train kids? I don't even like kids."
Rex had to snort at that.
"Maybe they actually took a look at your record." Rex said.
Boil scowled.
"That was Waxer." He said sharply. "It was always- Waxer."
His voice trailed off at the mention of his vod'ika. Rex gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Waxer and Boil had always been close, even for vod'ika and ori'vod. Cody had been worried for Boil ever since Waxer died.
Rex couldn't help but feel responsible.
"Why do we even listen to them?" Boil's voice was suddenly sharp and low. "Why did we come here?"
Rex frowned.
"We were ordered to." He said aloud, then, under his breath. "You know why. Chancellor Amidala asked us to. The trouble we would have caused-"
"I don't care." Boil hissed. "What do we owe the Republic? We should just pack up and get out. How could they stop us?"
Rex was horrified.
"They'd send our own brothers against us! And then where would we go? We'd be fugitives! We would never be recognized by the Republic!"
"That doesn't sound so bad to me." Boil grumbled. "Who gives a shab about the Republic? There's nothing there I care about."
"Some of us do, Boil. Brother, please." Rex pleaded. "Trust Chancellor Amidala. It won't be long. Don't go around stirring up trouble. You'll get yourself reconditioned."
Boil snorted and looked away.
"Fine." He muttered.
Rex only relaxed slightly. How many other troopers felt this way? How many would be willing to risk the bigger picture for a taste of freedom?
"Hello, sir!" '01 greeted Rex when he and Boil went to pick up the squad.
"Hello, '01." Rex said. "How was flash training?"
"All right." '01 said. "Learning about the planets is interesting."
'45 looked like he wanted to say something too, but '44 glared at his brother.
'01 chattered about the planets they had learned about, Alderaan, Mustafar, and Corellia, over dinner. Rex encouraged his conversation and the others to join in, but only managed a pained look from '45.
Rex didn't know what to think of the day as they returned to the barracks. He had overcome the despair of the day before. He had gotten a better sense of his squad. He knew how he was going to treat these cadets. Most importantly, he seemed to have made a connection with at least one of them. On the other hand, the other four seemed determined to keep him at an arm's length.
He had at least kept himself busy.
Alone in his pod, however, the ache in his heart swelled. And he remembered what he was training the boys for. No matter how he treated them, if he loved them or beat them, they would be sent to die for the highest bidder.
It was a relief when at 0100, there was a soft tap at his pod. He ejected to see '01 hanging off the ladder.
"'27 needs help." He said simply.
Rex snapped his attention to the task at hand.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he swung onto the ladder.
"He's hurting." '01 said.
"Does he need the medbay?" Rex asked.
"Not on the outside." '01 said. "The inside. Like you do."
Rex nearly recoiled at the boy's discerning words. He quickly regained control and followed '01 to '27's pod.
Even before '01 opened the pod, Rex could hear muffled cries. It slid open to reveal a sobbing '27. '35 had his arms around his brother, trying to quiet him. '35 looked up sharply as the pod opened and his eyes widened at the sight of Rex.
"I'm sorry sir." '35 said immediately. "He's just- I'll get him quiet, sir."
"Udesii." Rex said. They wouldn't know the word, but hopefully his tone would get across the meaning. "You two go ahead to your bunks. I can help '27."
'35 stayed where he was.
"It's not necessary, sir." He said in a rush. "You don't have to-"
"That was an order, '35." Rex said.
'35 blanched. '01 tugged at '35's sleeve.
"It'll be okay." He promised.
'35 slowly let go of '27, who curled in tighter on himself, and left with '01. Rex sat carefully on '27's bunk. They were adult sized pods, giving Rex enough room to sit completely on it. He placed a hand on '27's back, and remembering soothing Leia and Luke, moved it up and down.
"What's wrong, vod?" Rex asked quietly.
'27 let out another sob and tried to scoot away from Rex. Rex kept his hand firm, keeping the cadet close.
"I'm not going to hurt you." Rex promised.
"'14!" '27 finally choked out.
Rex's heart fell. CT-4514, the brother who had been decommissioned two days ago. The grief must have finally overwhelmed '27.
"It's my fault!" '27 wailed. "'17 was mad at me! But '14 made him madder and '17 hurt him instead. He wouldn't stop- he kept hurting and hurting him and they took '14 away!"
Rex felt sick. He had assumed there had been some sort of training accident that took both '17 and '14. It seemed instead that '17 had lost control and '14 had been the victim.
But then, how did '17 die?
Rex gave in and bundled the little boy closer. '27 cried into Rex's chest until at last the sobs subsided into hiccups and whimpers.
"I think '14 needs a name." Rex said softly.
'27 looked up, confusion on his face.
"He protected you." Rex went on. "I think he's earned a name."
'27 looked at Rex, seemingly transfixed. He nodded slowly.
"What was he like?" Rex prompted.
"He-he was very brave." '27 said in a tiny voice. "He knew '17 would hurt him and he still tried to help me."
"How about Kotep?" Rex asked. "It means courage."
'27 nodded again.
"I'm going to teach you something very important." Rex said. "We say it every day for our fallen brothers, so we can remember them."
'27's eyes were so wide that Rex thought of an owl.
"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum." Rex chanted. "Kotep."
"What does it mean?" '27 asked.
"'I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal.'" Rex told him.
'27 looked at him with his round brown eyes, then-
"Ni su'cuyi-"
The words were nearly inaudible, but '27 repeated the remembrance perfectly.
"Thank you." He said after he had finished. The boy closed his eyes and leaned against Rex's chest. "You really aren't going to hurt us."
"No." Rex said. "You're my brothers. Ni kar'taylir darasuum, ner vod."
And Rex suddenly understood. He loved his brothers. Every Commander and Captain given a squad like this one would love his brothers. Any mistake they made, any rebellion, would risk the littles in their care.
The Kaminoans had a new way of controlling them.
Rex stayed with '27 long after the cadet fell asleep. Rex looked down at the boy's sleeping face. For once there was no trace of the soldier he was born to be. Tears still glistened on his round cheeks. A child. Rex reached down to run a hand through '27's curls, thinking of Luke and Leia. There was no difference between his ba'vod'e and these boys. There shouldn't have been a difference. These boys deserved the same love and protection Luke and Leia had.
Rex sighed. He knew how to love and he knew how to protect. Kamino was not an environment where it was easy to do either, but Rex was an ARC, Captain of the 501st. He would do what he needed to do.
The next morning Rex found the cadets again awake before him, muttering amongst themselves.
"Good morning, sir!" '01 chirped as he caught sight of Rex.
A moment passed, and then-
"G-good morning, sir." '27 said shyly.
"Good morning, sir!" '45 piped up.
'44 and '35 looked at each other and mumbled something that sounded like a greeting.
"Good morning cadets!" Rex said.
They didn't say anything else as they prepared for the day, but as Rex made to lead them out, he felt a tugging at his hand. He looked down to see '45 looking at him with shining eyes.
"Can you tell me about Coruscant?" He whispered.
Rex smiled down at him.
"Of course, vod'ika."
Mando'a Translations:
vod/vod'e: brother/brothers.
ciryc'sheb: naked. lit. Cold backside. There's no word for naked in mando'a that I know of, so I came up with the slang version.
haran: hell, cosmic destruction
vod'ika: little brother, can be used to refer to a special brother.
Vod'e An: Brothers All. Mandalorian war song, taught to the clones in flash training. It's rad. Go listen to it. I suggest any of Samuel Kim's versions, though I personally like the one where it is combined with the Clones' theme. I may or may not be able to sing it in its entirety.
ori'vod: big/older brother. Can be used to refer to a special brother.
shab: basically the f word.
Udesii: calm down, cool it. I use it more of as a 'be still'
Kotep: bravery, courage.
Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum: I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are forever. Mandalorian rembrance for the dead. The names of the dead are said after.
Ni kar'taylir darasuum, ner vod: I love you, my brother. Lit. I keep you in my heart forever.
ba'vod'e: niblings, nieces, nephew. There's no word for this in the current dictionary, so I extrapolated from ba'buir (grandparents), and ba'vodu(aunt/uncle).
This is a longer chapter, but I didn't think it worked as well if I split it up. I also really love this chapter. Lots of angst and a bit of fluff. And yes I added Howzer recently. Because I love him. We're continuing the trend of Rex and clones in general loving kids and their little brothers. Sad, abused little brothers. If it's not clear, Ahsoka and Rex met in a weird Force way because of their bond. Ahsoka severs it on Rex's request because he doesn't need the woman he loves literally haunting him.
Anyway, wear your mask if you're not vaccinated, remember to review, and have a great few weeks!