Hello everyone! Once again, I am updating instead of working on my finals!

Here's another warning that hiatus is probably incoming with the inevitable baby that's gonna happen in our family soon.

Paladin Stormwind: Thank you! Yes...hmmm who is that Mandalorian?

WHO'S READY FOR SOME FIVES ANGST

TW: Suicide mentions and intrusive thoughts

Mando'a translations at the end!

The apartment was quiet, with the only sound being Tech's tapping. Fives lay on the couch. He had done the small amount of flimsiwork Tech had allowed him and now he had nothing.

He missed Echo and Ahsoka, but Echo was far too important to stay home for his brother and Ahsoka was far too in love with Rex to stay home for her friend. He immediately felt guilty at his bitter thoughts.

What kind of piece of osik friend and brother resents them for living their lives?

He knew that Ahsoka was helping Rex recover and Echo was working hard for the rights of the clones.

He missed Rex too, but he felt that there was little chance he'd see his brother as he had been. Rex was as good as dead and Fives mourned him as if he were.

And you did nothing to try and help him. You kriffed things up. He's like this because of you.

Fives glanced over at Tech, who was engrossed with whatever new project he had. Fives supposed he was happy that Tech had figured out their aging. He didn't know if he would take the cure himself. Living another year seemed exhausting to him, let alone fifty.

"Incoming." He said aloud.

"How bad?" Tech responded.

"A two. Just a thought about how living is exhausting." Fives said.

Tech frowned and adjusted his goggles.

"That sort of thought has been increasing in regularity recently." He said. "You are taking your medication?"

"Yes." Fives said dully.

At least they were past the point where Tech watched Fives take each pill.

"Perhaps we need to strengthen the dosage." Tech said.

"Or you could let me do something." Fives grumbled. "Honestly, I hate flimsiwork, but it's the best part of my day."

"I am hesitant to put you back in a military situation." Tech said. "As part of your problem is your significant PTSD."

"We all have PTSD." Fives said. "We were kriffing child slave soldiers."

"Yours has been exacerbated."

"Kriffing-" Fives swore.

He lay back down and stewed. He needed to do something.

He had an idea.

He glanced at Tech. He was sure that Tech would never agree to it. Tech was still engrossed in his work. Fives was sure he could leave without him noticing.

He eased himself to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Tech asked immediately.

Fives cursed again and fell onto the couch.

"Nowhere." He muttered.

Of course he won't let you go. You're so stupid for thinking he would.

"Unlikely." Tech said. "Where were you planning to go?"

Fives sighed. Tech was irritating, but he was also trying his best to help Fives. Fives shouldn't lie to him.

"I want to go back to Grif's fighting ring." He said. "Punching someone without consequences sounds really good right about now."

Tech raised an eyebrow at him.

"I believe you were stabbed the last time you were there." He said. "I do not believe that was without consequences."

"That was over Ahsoka punching someone." Fives replied. "I got to punch people no problem."

Tech was silent. Fives lay back down. He assumed the conversation was over.

"Are there civilian clothes I might borrow?" Tech asked.

"What?" Fives asked.

"As we saw with Echo, going into the undercity in clone armor is not ideal. I should be able to pass as a nat-born if I am wearing civilian clothes." Tech said.

"You're going to let me go?" Fives asked.

"The fighting ring has a high chance of positively affecting your mental state." Tech said. "Now. Are there civilian clothes?"

Fives found himself on a shuttle down to level 1313 with Tech at his side. Fives' set of civvies were ill-fit, with the bottom of the trousers being a few inches short and the jacket hanging off of Tech's frame. Tech was taller than Fives and has lost a fair amount of muscle after the war. Tech didn't seem to mind. What he did seem to mind was the lack of his datapad and tech. He sat, bent forward, hands clasped in front of him, and bouncing his leg up and down constantly. Fives himself was nervous. He hadn't been down here since Echo had been attacked.

Would Grif even take him back as a fighter?

Echo nearly died because of you. And you've taken Tech down here too. If he gets hurt, it's your fault.

Fives adjusted his helmet as the shuttle made its stop.

"Come on." Fives muttered to Tech.

"I remember the way." Tech replied. "I have a photographic memory."

Of course he does. Fives thought as he disembarked the shuttle. Exceptional mind and all that.

Once they stepped into the hazy air of level 1313, Fives felt anxiety form a tight knot in his stomach. He was extremely glad that he had convinced Tech to leave his tech behind. That would have made them targets.

Like you let Echo be a target.
Fives relaxed somewhat as gazes passed over them without lingering. They were jostled and bumped as they made their way through the crowds. That was also good. They were just part of the crowd. Tech seemed used to the rough but thoughtless treatment.

Finally they reached the door guarded by the Karkadoan, Bul. His beady eyes narrowed as he saw Fives.

"It's been a while, Sinko." He growled.

Fives didn't like the way the guard said his fake name. He tried to remain as calm as Tech.

"Yeah." Fives said. "Things- came up. Do you think I could see Grif?"

Bul's eyes darted to Tech.

"My brother." Fives said. "He's just here to watch."

"You sure have a lot of brothers." Bul said. "But that's none of my business. Go ahead. The fights haven't started yet."

Fives waited to release the breath he'd been holding until he and Tech were halfway through the dimly lit corridor.

"I believe he knows we are clones." Tech said blandly.

"You think?" Fives snapped.

"Yes, I do." Tech said. "His allusion to you having many brothers-"
"I got it, Tech." Fives said. "Come on, we can't just stand here."

The fighting ring was emptier than Fives had seen it. Of course, he and Ahsoka always arrived well after the fights had started. They seemed to just be preparing now. Fives caught sight of the scrawny Zabrack kid, Pez, sparring with one of the human fighters.

Grif was arguing with a beefy Bothan.

"I told you, no death matches!" The Besalisk was nearly shouting. "If you want to get your fighters killed, that's up to you. But you're not getting mine murdered!"

"The kill fights make three times your puny ring does!" The Bothan said.

"Half of which goes back into hiring idiots willing to risk their lives." Grif said. "It's a waste of talent."

The Bothan scoffed and turned away. Grif snorted and caught sight of Fives and Tech. To Fives' surprise Grif's face split into a grin.

Fives had to suppress a shiver as the Besalisk lumbered up to him. While Grif was far from the sinister, violent character of Krell, Fives couldn't help but be reminded.

"Hey, Sinko!" He said. "Did your brother end up okay?"

"Yeah." Fives said, somewhat surprised that Grif cared. "Yeah, he's fine."

"That's good." Grif said and winked. "Would hate for him to miss any Senatorial Balls."

Fives froze. Idiot! Of course they would make the connection between the cyborg senator of the clones and broken cyborg Fives had dragged here. Tech had tensed behind Fives.

They know who Echo is. They're going to go after him. Echo is going to get hurt again because of you.

Fives was struggling with the intrusive thoughts when Grif laughed.

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. You're friends of Ashla, and we take care of our friends down here." He said.

Fives still didn't feel completely comfortable, but what was he going to do? Murder Grif to keep him quiet? If the news hadn't come out yet, he doubted it would now.

"So, what can I do for you?" Grif went on.

"I want to fight again." Fives said. "Punch someone, you know?"
"Oh, I know." Grif said with a grin. "I think I can help you there. How about your friend there?"

"I am here to observe only." Tech said.

Grif shrugged.

"No skin off my nose." He said. "We've got some matches in around an hour. I'm sure we can slip you in."

"Thanks, Grif." Fives said.

"It's no problem." Grif replied, then his expression turned concerned. "But tell me, how's Ashla?"

"She's-" Fives paused. "She's off world. She's helping a- friend get treatment. But she's fine as far as I know."

Grif nodded slowly.

"I worry about her." He said. "She's a good kid, but she has a habit of being reckless."

Fives managed to snort at that.

"More than you know." He said.

Another fighter had approached Grif. Grif nodded to Fives and turned to the newcomer. Fives beckoned to Tech and they made their way to the sidelines. They sat down and Tech withdrew a small data pad. Fives just waited. He found he couldn't wait to plant his fist firmly into some sod's face.

He glanced around the room. There were Grif's normal fighters of humans, Twi'leks and other various species. They all ignored Fives and Tech. Fives was just fine with that. Then Fives noticed the young Zabrack, Pez, staring at them. He'd finished his spar and was sporting an impressive black eye. To Fives' surprise, the young man grinned when he noticed that Fives had looked his way. Along with the grin, Pez gave him a friendly wave.

Fives looked away. He was here to hit things, not make friends with a scrawny spice addict.

Fives waited on the sidelines with Tech. He'd been in two fights so far, and was waiting for a third. His hand pulsed with pain; Tech had just had to pop the thumb back into place. His cheek was bruised, his knuckles throbbed, and his lip was bleeding.

He felt better than he'd had in months. The intrusive thoughts had quieted.

His comm beeped and he immediately felt that feeling, not quite good but close to it, flee. Echo had come home to an empty apartment.

He thinks you've tried to kill yourself again. You're an awful brother.

Tech looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"It will be better to answer it." He said. "Do not add to Echo's worries."

Fives clenched his jaw and raised the comm. He clicked it on.

"Hey E-"

"Where the hell are you?" Echo's furious voice cut him off.

Fives winced at the fear and desperation in Echo's tone.

"I'm fine." Fives said. "Tech's with me. I'm- I'm at my old fighting ring."

Silence on the other end. Fives took his chance.

"Listen, Echo, it's helped. I need something to do and Tech won't let me do more with the army-"

"Get back here." Echo's voice had gone dangerously cold.

The comm clicked off.

Fives let out a long sigh and slumped forward.

"I can't win, can I?" He asked.

Tech looked sideways at him.

"I will speak to Echo on your behalf." He said. "If this helps you, you must pursue it."

Fives stared at Tech.

"Why are you trying so hard for me?" He asked. "I've never gotten along with you guys."

Tech adjusted his goggles as he looked away.

"Echo is- dear to us." He said. "And you are dear to Echo."

Fives frowned. He'd figured as much but- the way that Tech had practically dedicated his waking hours to watching and helping Fives seemed to be too much for that.

"What else?" Fives asked.

Tech looked at Fives with an odd expression. Fives quickly became uncomfortable under his stare.

You're a burden to him too.

"We should go," Tech finally said. "Before Echo comes looking for us."

Fives nodded, though he was still thoroughly confused. He got up and went to find Grif.

Echo was pacing a hole in the floor when Fives and Tech finally got home. He jerked his head up as the door opened. An odd mixture of relief and anger was on his face. Fives felt guilty at the sight.

"About time!" He said. "What the hell do you think you were doing?"

Fives' guilt evaporated.

"Trying to kriffing feel better!" He snapped. "And being karking shouted at isn't helping!"

He didn't have the energy for this. He pushed past Echo and headed towards his room. What did Echo think he was doing? He'd told Fives he wanted him to feel better but the second Fives tried to help himself, Echo went off the deep end.

Echo had been through hell and back and you yell at him? What kind of brother are you? He'd be better off without you causing him worry

Fives flinched as a hand grabbed his shoulder. He whirled around to meet Echo's eyes. He was surprised to see that the anger had drained from them.

"You're right." Echo said. "I'm sorry."

Fives stared back at Echo. Echo took a deep breath.

"But Fives, you can't just disappear like that." He said.

Fives frowned.
"I promised you I would stay." He said.

"I know." Echo said. "But it's not that."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Omega and I have managed to make a couple of enemies in the Senate." He went on. "We don't play their games and they don't like it. I wouldn't put it past them to hunt you down to get at us."

"I'm an ARC trooper." Fives said. "I'd like to see them try."

"Still." Echo said. "I'd prefer it if you at least told me where you were going."

It was a reasonable request. Fives tacked on a smile and patted Echo on the shoulder.

"I can do that." He said. "And- I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to worry you. I just didn't think-"

"You've never been one for thinking." Echo said with a slight smile. "You just do."

"You should have seen me on Umbara." Fives said. "I was making all sorts of plans!"

Echo laughed a little.

"Would've paid to see that." He said and then he sobered. "You really think that fighting in that ring will help?"

"Yes." Tech cut in. "Fives needs to be preoccupied. The fighting ring is something he enjoys and is relatively risk free."
Echo frowned.

"You're telling me an underground fighting ring is risk free." He said flatly.

"I have done research on the man running the ring, Grif." Tech said. "His casualty rates, as in life threatening injuries, are 20 percent lower than other non-lethal fighting ring groups."

"Grif's a good guy." Fives put in. "He'll keep an eye on me. And today proved that I can go down there without being a target."

Echo folded his arms and sighed.

"Will you at least take a tracking beacon down there? Just in case?"

Fives hesitated, but nodded. He wasn't a huge fan of being tracked, but if it would let him do something, he'd deal with it.

"Good. I only ask because- well, there was an attack on the Senate today." Echo said. "On- me."

Fives' chest constricted with fear.

Someone tried to kill Echo and you were only thinking of yourself.

"What? Why didn't you lead with that?" Fives demanded.

Echo glanced back at Fives and gave a reassuring smile.

"Nobody got hurt." He said reassuringly. "But Hunter wants to up security. Thing is, Cross and Omega are leaving for Kamino in about a week. Tech, do you think you could come along on those days? Just to keep Hunter from losing his bucket."

To Fives' surprise, the idea of Tech being gone for a few days made him feel a sharp spear of panic. His face felt numb as Tech quietly considered.

"Just for a few days." Tech said and Fives went colder. "Fives, I will keep in contact with you, if you wish."

Fives gave a tight nod. If Echo needed the protection, he couldn't keep Tech from helping him. He expected those days to be hell.

Tech found himself agitated on the speeder ride back to the apartment. The day had been productive, but now he had no distraction, besides Echo's political musings and Wrecker's bored groans, to keep his thoughts from both Crosshair and Omega on their way to Kamino and Fives alone at home.

Fives had asked Tech why he was so dedicated to helping him. It was not anything complicated.

Tech had had a- complex view of the regs throughout his life. To him, they had merely been sources of torment for him and his brothers. He didn't quite see them as having emotions like he and the rest of his squad.

Regs like Echo, Rex, and Cody were clearly exceptions. The rest were not like Tech and his brothers. It was just how things were. In addition, due to his deviant nature, certain things were simply not- real to Tech if he had not experienced the proof. Outside his three exceptions, Tech had not seen the emotions and deeper nature of the regs. Therefore, they did not exist to him.

So when Tech had heard the statistics of the rates of suicide among regs, he had found that they did not seem real. He believed that they were accurate, but there was a disconnect.

And then- Fives had made the attempt. Tech had witnessed first hand the despair and isolation one of the regs was going through. He had witnessed the disastrous emotional toll from not only Fives, but the people who cared for him.

It had become real and it had moved him.

Not only that, but Tech had recognized the isolation Fives was feeling. Tech, as deviant as his brothers were, was different from them. His mind worked differently. He knew what it was like to be alone when surrounded by those he loved.

Tech wanted to help. And like so many other things, he had become fixated on that desire. He would do what was necessary to achieve that goal.

When they entered the apartment, Tech quickly discerned that Fives was not in the living room or kitchen. His subsequent scan told him that Fives was in his room. This was not a good sign. Fives tended to self isolate when he felt worse.

Tech left the others and knocked on Fives' door.

"I'm here." Fives' tired voice said.

"That is good." Tech replied.

He removed his pack and set it on the ground before sitting at the base of the door. Fives would prefer it if Tech did not come in.

"It was a bad day." Tech said for clarification.

"Yeah."

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

"No." There was a pause. "Thanks, Tech."

"Of course." Tech replied. He hesitated a moment. "It was good that I went today. We were able to apprehend another attempted attack on the Senate."

Another moment of silence.

"That's good." Fives said. "Is Echo okay?"

"Yes." Tech said. "Though Wrecker had to carry him physically from the premises as he refused to leave."

He was pleased to hear Fives give a chuckle at that.

"Fives." Tech said after a moment. "I have been thinking. Perhaps you should go to Mandalore as well. If it has had a positive effect on Captain Rex, it should be beneficial for your own mental health."

Fives was silent. Tech wondered if he'd made an unintentional error in suggesting it.

"Would you come too?"

Tech blinked, surprised at the question. He had always got the impression that Fives was irritated at his presence.

"I do not know." Tech said. "I do not think it would be wise to make myself unavailable to Omega and Echo."

"Then I shouldn't." Fives said. "I doubt Skirata's clones would like me much, and Ahsoka will be busy with Rex. And- I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable?" Tech asked. "I believe she considers you to be one of her closest friends."

"She used to." Fives said so Tech could barely hear. "But- I crossed some boundaries, and then made it worse by- by my attempt. I wouldn't blame her if she left in part because of me."

Tech mulled the information over. He knew that things were somewhat awkward between Fives and the Commander, but he had not considered it relevant information at the time.

"Are you aware of how she reacted directly after your attempt?" Tech asked.

"Yeah, she was upset." Fives said.

"That is an understatement." Tech said. "She had a complete emotional breakdown after you had been taken care of."

"And then she avoided me." Fives said dully. "We barely spoke."

"Perhaps she did not know what to say." Tech said. "It was also unfortunate timing. In any case, you will not mend your friendship by continuing to have no contact with her."

Fives was quiet.

"I'll stay here with you." He said. "I can't- deal with that right now."

"If that is what you wish." Tech said. "Though I doubt sending her a message would be too much trouble."

Fives needed more connections than just Tech and Echo.

"Maybe." Fives sounded doubtful.

Tech heard the sounds of Wrecker laughing in the kitchen and Hunter's scolding voice. They were probably making dinner.

"Would you like your food in your room or would you like to join us?" Tech asked.

"In here." Fives said. "I'll get it myself, though."

That was an improvement. There were nights where Fives refused to leave his room at all.

As Tech pulled out his data pad, he was sure he heard the sound of Fives typing on the other side of the door.

Tech had an incoming message. It was from Crosshair, and it was simple.

Arrived on Kamino.

Mando'a:

osik: crap

Okay, starting from the top! Tech is doing his best here. He can do the research, but in the end, he's not an actual doctor, so there's going to be some gaps. Not to mention he himself has known nothing but the military, so he's stunted in his own ways. But he's gonna do his best by Fives. One of those ways is having Fives report any suicidal thoughts and rank them by severity. We also felt that Tech would stop the vigorous exercise needed to keep up him muscles when the war ended, and he forgets to eat a lot, so he kinda got skinnier.

Cameo from my sister's OC, Pez, again! She's finally overcome a huge roadblock in editing her story, so we might be getting the next chapter soon!

Boo intrusive thoughts! Nothing like your own brain pointing out all your flaws and making everything about how bad a person you are.

Tech's explanation on why he's so focused on Fives comes from my own life. At least for me as an Autistic person, I find it difficult to comprehend things that I cannot look at, feel, or experience for myself. I kinda translated that to Tech, who is on the spectrum. He does very much care about Fives and is doing his best.

Honestly, the Tech Fives dynamic has come out far better than I anticipated. Something about Tech's lack of sugarcoating works well with Fives.

Dun dun duuuuuuuun we gonna get some Omega and Crosshair content! (Don't worry, the Rex and Ahsoka show will resume soon enough)

Anyway, stay safe, remember to review, and have a great week!