Author's Note:
On my author page there is a poll regarding this story. Feel free to vote if you like.
Episode 12: Massaged
For some apparent reason, Master Hand has a hitch for massaging chairs. Nobody knows exactly why; the very sight of it makes the giant hand of doom feel unnerved. Who knew such a powerful being is so afraid of massaging chairs?
And since Master Hand is still on his "infinite vacation", Wario thought it would be a good time to buy a massaging chair and put it in the mansion. The fatso pushed the box containing the chair through the front door, and into the foyer, where he would take a short breather. He's not that acclimated to exercise, or physical activity in general; pushing a shopping cart is too much work for him. Wario opened up the box, and took the massaging chair out. Why carry the box upstairs when he's not physically cut out for it?
"What is this contraption I see before my eyes?" the Black Knight appeared and saw the massaging chair. He's seen rocking chairs, royal chairs, and even folding chairs, but massaging chairs were foreign for him. "Hard to believe you actually spent your money!"
"This thing right here is a massaging chair!" explained Wario. "It can recline, and massage your back, and your arms, and your..."
"Master Hand once spoke of these in a negative light! Why would you get one in the first place?!"
"He's nowhere to be found, and he probably won't come back for a few months, so I thought, why not?"
Wario: Aw yeah, sitting in the massaging chair is gonna be awesome! With Master Hand out indefinitely, I can enjoy it day in and day out, without interruption!..And no, I'm not gonna let anyone else sit in it! Do you not know who I am?
"Help me carry this thing upstairs!" Wario told the Black Knight. The former army general assisted the fatso in carrying the massaging chairs upstairs, and as they made their way through the halls, they were getting looks from the brawlers.
"Oooooh I'm telling Master Hand," said Falco. He's gonna tell Master Hand on Wario and the Black Knight? What does he think he is, a immature little child?!
"Have fun facing Master Hand's wrath!" Mega Man X called out. No love for Crazy Hand? Sure, he doesn't have any control over the Smash Mansion, but he's still pretty relevant!
"I'm not sure if this is a good idea..." the Black Knight murmured to Wario. "Master Hand could come back any given minute...and when he sees this massaging chair..."
"Master who, that guy is lame as lame can be!" Wario mocked. Guy has no idea who he's making fun of. "Creator of the Smash universe, and he's only a lousy hand...give me a break!"
The two finally reached Wario's room, and placed the massaging chair next at Wario's bed-stool. Ashley, Wario's roommate who wish she could have a better roommate -one that didn't waste food on the floor and leave suggestive magazines lying about - watched this unfold.
"Master Hand is gonna kill you if he finds out you have a massaging chair," the young witch warned Wario. If there's anyone she wants to see Wario get beaten and battered, it's Master Hand - the hand has executed several beatings to Wario plenty of times.
"I'd like to see him try!" snickered Wario, as he plugged up the massaging chair. Ashley inquisitvely looked at the Black Knight, in her mind scolding him for helping Wario upstairs. The knight simply shrugged.
Black Knight: In no way, shape, or form was I going to say no to Wario! You honestly think I wanna hear Wario's fat mouth for infinity?! Always yapping his mouth...got to feel for poor Ashley for having to put up with the guy!
The Black Knight scurried out of the room, and Wario plugged up the massaging chair and sat in it, before turning it on. The chair vibrated, easing whatever pains and aches Wario might have. It's not like he's that active, so there isn't that much tension in his body.
"Ohhhhh yeeaaaaah..." the fatso sighed happily. "This is the stuff..." If only Wario could sit in the massaging chair for all of his life...sounds boring when you think about it, but apparently that's what he wants.
"What's the purpose of getting a massaging chair, you're making yourself look like a lazy bum!" frowned Ashley. In her opinion, the massaging chair is a complete waste of money - just like The Rack, which is mainly used for working out, something Wario views as pointless and unfruitful. Understandably, he had no choice but to buy it, since Ryu put him up to it.
"Massaging chairs are solely meant for lazy bums, buying it makes sense!" defended Wario. "Now shut your trap, while I relax!"
Ashley was unable to stand Wario any longer. All the other days, she feels the same exact way, but today, she couldn't take Wario's laziness no more. So she grabbed her potions, her goblet, and her stuffed bunny, and left the room. It took Wario ten minutes to realize that the witch had left; goes on to show you how blindly observant Wario is. Either that, or the massaging chair is taking away his awareness with every minute it's on.
"Ashley? Ashley!" Wario called out Ashley's name. "Where'd ya go? You can't leave me all alone!"
"So long did it take you to write that love letter?" Peach asked Mario, as the two were folding up the laundry. Mario got all nervous - if you remember, Waluigi found the love letter online, after he claimed that Mario's original one was horrible beyond re-editing.
"Um...uh..." Mario struggled to come up with a response, but he had to make one up on the fly unless he wants his lover to grow suspicious. "It took-a me...eight hours! Yes, it took me that-a long, everything from-a the grammar, to the punctuation, and everything else-a in between, it had to be spot-a on!"
"Well I'm glad you dedicated that much time and concentration to the letter," Peach smiled. Because we all know how much dedication it takes to plagiarize and alter Celine Dion lyrics.
Mario: Wanna talk about how-a pathetic my original letter was? I had-a no inspiration until I saw that Titanic movie! Leonardo Dicaprio's was absolutely stunning... *wipes away a tear* He won an Academy award for the movie nearly twenty years too late!...And no, it-a wasn't for The Revenant, the box-a office and critical reception was a lie, a lie I tell-a you!
"You know, Peach, I've-a been thinking..." Mario readied himself for the next words that would come out of his mouth. "...wanna go out on a date?"
"I've been dying for you to say that!" Peach was in all smiles. Clearly she has been waiting for a long time. "Where are we going out? Have you picked a place yet, or at least found a reservation? Oh, Mario, please tell me you planned this date out!"
Mario soon found himself in a sticky situation. Should he be truthful, and tell the princess that he came up with the date on the fly and has done nothing to prepare? Fibbing wasn't worth it - who knows, someone might be spying on Mario, and would go to Peach and tell her the truth.
"Already been-a trying to look for reservations, but I can't-a seem to find one," the plumber replied. Seems like Mario is going down the fibbing route. Somewhere down the road he's gonna pay for it.
"Hope you keep trying the best reservation, our date must be perfect!" Yeah Peach, Mario is definitely going to keep trying.
Let's shed some light on another romantic couple - one that officially became an item in the previous episode. Pit and Viridi were in the cafe, and Viridi was feeding her boyfriend chocolate covered strawberries. Kind of stuff most couples typically do.
Pit: Don't know why, but I'm in mad love Viridi...it just transpired a week ago at Daisy's birthday party, one sip of the punch I was drinking, and suddenly my mind was telling me that I should love Viridi or else...every night before I go to sleep, I try my hardest to wrap my head around this whole thing, and find out about my strange infatuation with Viridi...
Like most old, senile guys, Snake looks down upon the young whippersnappers, mocking them for every little thing they do. Such as was the case with Pit and Viridi, when he just stared at the couple and wondered why they would act so romantic at the cafe. What a bunch of selfishes, can't they do this anywhere else?
"Your romantic behaviors are starting to creep me out," Snake told the lovebirds.
"Get lost, you old hack, you're just salty that Meryl Silverburgh wanted to marry a man better and more qualified than you!" retorted Viridi. Ooh, the goddess of nature is going in on Snake. Very prototypical of her to do so.
"Yeah what she said," Pit followed Viridi up, still trying to find out why he's infatuated with her. He's dumb, so he'll never figure out in time.
"Leave those kids alone, Snake, they're not doing any harm," said King Dedede, sipping his coffee. Knowing him, he probably forced one of his Waddle Dees to fix the coffee for him. Him and Wario are neck and neck in terms of overall laziness.
"Have it your way bub," Snake got up and left the cafe, just like most old, senile guys who can't take it anymore. All we need now is for Snake to shake his fist at Pit and Viridi, in order to solidify what he has become due to accelerated age.
"Don't mind Snake, he's still bitter that he's already a geezer and he's never been married," Dedede told the lovebirds.
"Um, King Dedede, did you ever have a romantic interest?" asked Viridi, hoping she won't offend or anger the penguin in any way.
"Does it look like they're female penguins in Dreamland? I don't think so..." Maybe King Dedede isn't looking hard enough for one.
"How many times do I have to tell you man, I'm not helping you with your rap career," Marth told Knuckles as he tried to walk away from the echidna in the hallway. The Hero King was one of the many brawlers Knuckles implored to help him launch a successful rap career. Viridi was supposed to help him in their coalition, but Knuckles severed it after doing the goddess of nature a huge solid.
"C'mon man, you look like a hip guy!" enticed Knuckles. "You got the short female-looking hair and a crown, nobody can come close to the high amount of swag that you possess!"
"If I knew what rap was, and how this hippy hop works, then maybe I would help you." Hippy hop? "But I'm not, however, so I insist that you leave me at peace." Marth entered a room, and slammed the door behind him. Knuckles snapped his fingers in disgust; he had no one to help him. Or does he?
The echidna made his way to the fitness center, and saw the guy he was looking for - Falco Lombardi, running on a treadmill like his life depended on it.
Knuckles: Falco seems like the right guy to ask. He's from Brooklyn, and that's were famous rappers like Jay-Z and Notorious B.I.G originated. Nobody else obliged to help me out with my career - not even my best friend Sonic, he even said I wouldn't have a chance to make it big in today's time because of "mainstream losers" like Young Thug and Rich Homie Quan. Guess I'll have to prove him wrong, and I can't do it alone!
"Hey Falco, buddy ol' pal," Knuckles approached Falco, acting as friendly as possible. It was the only way to good on the falcon's good side, for he's known to be hot-tempered and easy to anger.
"Sup Knuckles how's it going?" responded Falco, too focused to turn away. He just kept looking forward, like he was running an actual marathon and smoking away the competition. Many have asked Falco if he should ever do one, but the avian refused every time, saying that he never signs up as a way to show the marathon runners "mercy".
"Been asking others this question, and now I think it's time to ask you...you wanna help launch my rap career?"
Falco ran off the treadmill and landed on his bum. A few brawlers, such as the Wii Fit Trainer and Ryu, looked at the avian when he fell; Falco got up and rubbed his bum.
"Of all the people in this mansion, and you want to ask ME for assistance?!" he frowned. This is the hot-headed and angered Falco Lombardi we all know and love. "Sonic wasn't available?"
"He just pointed and laughed at me!" stated Knuckles. The way he said it, he sounded somewhat insecure. Knuckles builds himself on pride, so whenever anyone mocks or ridicules him...he tends to feel a certain type of way.
"And if I decide to help you? What's in it for me?"
"I can get Rouge to buy you a new edition Landmaster!" Knuckles proposed to Falco. Good thing he's come prepared - he should teach Mario on preparation skills. Falco stroked his chin, musing over Knuckles's offer. A new Landmaster, especially one that is a "new edition", could put Fox's and Wolf's flying vehicles to shame. It would be Falco as the only pilot riding a hip spacecraft through space.
"How much mileage does it cover?" Mileage is a very important attribute of spacecrafts; one that could travel at the speed of light would be best suitable for Falco.
"The mileage doesn't matter, what does matter is if you'll help me or not."
"Fine, I'll help you, but on one provision..." Falco looked around before kneeling down at Knuckles. He was about to tell the echidna some juicy info. "You have to get me a glucose monitoring system. Ryu recommended that I should..."
"For real?" Knuckles gave the avian pilot a snuggle bear look. A glucose monitoring system? It's not like Falco has an excess amount of glucose in his veins, what does he need it for?
"It's for a certain someone...you might know her as the clumsiest person here."
"Oooh..." Knuckles lightly nodded his head, knowing what Falco meant now. The pilot wanted to get Isabelle a glucose monitoring system to check her glucose levels. This is perhaps a way to repay her for his previous actions in episode eight.
Ryu: Glucose monitoring systems are the in thing right now! One can use the device to check their glucose levels, and if they're conceited enough, snap a picture of the results and upload it to Instagram! It's not worth it though; trust me, I had to delete my account due to the negativity my picture taking resulted. I had suggested to Falco that he should get Isabelle the device as a way to own up to his despicable actions. I would buy him the device myself, but after seeing how Wario treated The Rack, I felt as if it wasn't truly worth it!
Wii Fit Trainer: Care to explain why you even set up an Instagram account to begin with?
Ryu: It was so I could follow Chun-Li...but not in a way a stalker would!
"Meet me in the recording studio," directed Falco. "We shall work in there..."
Link and Sonic sat at a table in the gaming room, flanked by brawlers. Sonic challenged the hero of Hyrule to one of the dumbest challenges in the history of mankind - the cinnamon challenge. You know how it goes - you must swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon, and not drink any liquids for 60 seconds. Dangers of doing this challenge include vomiting, throat irritation, and even pneumonia. But Link and Sonic were willing to throw all those dangers away if it meant winning the challenge.
"You got this man!" Roy encouraged Link, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. Link had the same face throughout the challenge - frowning, eyes watering, lip trembling, face turning red. Why did he agree to do this...
"Even though you're an idiot for wanting to do this challenge and participating in it, I'm still rooting for you Sonic!" cheered Tails. The fox is what you call a true friend - supporting you whilst willing to ignore the fact that you're a complete numskull.
The cinnamon started to get to Link - the Hylian held his head down as he repeatedly banged the desk with his fist. In a matter of seconds, he coughed out a brown cloud of cinnamon, signifying his loss. The brawlers cheered as Sonic celebrated his victory.
"Oh, my Link!" Zelda ran up to her love, and saw Link clutching his throat while coughing and gagging - a few of the side effects of doing the cinnamon challenge. "What have you done to my poor Link?!"
"We did nothing, he did it to himself," Meta Knight, who feels less intelligent for spectating the cinnamon challenge. He should have been playing billards or throwing darts, but no, he wanted to watch one of the dumbest challenges in existence.
Meta Knight: The schlub that invented the cinnamon challenge (and I am thoroughly certain it was a male, no woman is dumb enough to invent such a dumb challenge) must be ranked among the dumbest human beings ever. Compared to that individual, George W. Bush is...no, I'm not stating any political biases, I was stating a mere fact! Whatever happened to the freedom of speech?!
"Who put Link up to this?!" Zelda frowned, intimidating everyone. "Tell me this instant!" Link should be glad to have a girlfriend that's always caring about him and his safety; when you look at the dangerous things he goes through during his adventures, he's should be very grateful.
"Sonic challenged Link to the cinnamon challenge the other day," explained Lucario.
"Why would you do such a thing?!" Zelda directed her attention to Sonic. The hedgehog casually rested his foot on the table, acting as if nothing serious - like Link coughing and gasping for air - was occurring.
"It's a long story," replied the hedgehog. "So I saw Link out in the garden, and I was like, 'Hey Link, you wanna go against me in a cinnamon challenge?' and then he was like, 'No way man, I'm not going to be a part of your stupidity'. Then I asked him a second time at the cafe and he was like 'Why can't you leave me alone?' and all that crap, and when I entered the bathroom while he was using it, I asked..."
"I have heard enough!" Zelda boomed. The surrounding brawlers were startled, they never heard Zelda that angry before.
"Aw, I didn't even get to the best part of the story!" Seriously doubt anyone wants to hear the "best part" of the story, given the setting...
"Let's go, Link, you don't need to hang out with them! You all should be ashamed of yourselves!" The brawlers held their heads in shame as Zelda helped her coughing boyfriend up on his feet and escorted him out of the gaming room. Once her and her love was gone...the brawlers, except for Tails, burst into laughter.
Fox was inside the computer room doing normal fox things, like playing solitaire for instance. When have you never saw a fox playing solitaire?
"Fox I am in-a dire need of your help!" Mario rushed inside the room, sounding frantic. He took a time to get himself a breather; all that flab is slightly slowing him down.
"Let me guess, it's Peach-related," assumed Fox. Even Fox is already on the know.
"I asked-a her out on a date, but I haven't made-a any reservations!" explained Mario. Fox facepalmed as he shook his head. His relationship with Krystal may be a little shaky, but at least he knows how to be prepared.
Fox: Mario is never prepared for ANYTHING. Hence the reason he named Link the so-called "party planner" for Daisy's birthday party. He just goes forth, without forethought, thinking nothing should be handled before setting off.
"Did you even look at any available restaurants?" questioned Fox. Mario giggled nervously; he should have at least done that. Not the most difficult task in the world. "Look, Mario, when it comes to relationships and dating, you gotta always be prepared, and ready for whatever. If you lack preparation, then you will constantly fail to impress Peach."
"Being a hero that-a I am, I usually don't-a think preparation is necessary," stated Mario. "So many heroic qualities I-a possess, which in turn..."
"But those heroic qualities don't mean a single thing with relationships. Instead, you gotta be focused - focused on the goal! The goal of continuously pleasing Peach! Now let's find a reservation for your date..."
Bowser walked through the mansion on crutches. When he was working in the Pokemon sanctuary, he got squashed by a Metagross, which nearly broke his leg. Instead of taking care of their father, Bowser Jr and the Koopalings were mocking their father's injured leg, and even played pranks on him. Bowser has raised his children to become too evil...
The Koopa King made his way to Wario's room, and on the door was a note that read, "Using the bathroom, back in around ten minutes". Oh, that poor bathroom. Inside, Bowser saw the massaging chair, left unattended. He thought over using the chair - since Wario isn't around, he can enjoy sitting in the chair until the fatso returns. So Bowser entered the room, and sat on the massaging chair, turning it on. The chair vibrated, and the Koopa King was feeling all cozy.
"Yeah this really hits the spot..." he sighed happily. It's the happiest he's ever been since the whole Isabelle incident.
Then in came Greninja, who overheard the sound of the massaging chair from the hallways. A ninja always has a keen hearing sense, very useful for sneaking up on unsuspecting people! The ninja Pokemon observed the massaging chair, very foreign to the recliner. Not a very common object in the Pokemon world.
"What are you looking at?" questioned Bowser. The koopa was feeling insecure, believing Greninja wants to use the massaging chair. "Never saw a massaging chair before, huh? Those Kalos manufacturers must be a bunch of punk losers!"
Greninja: *shrugs*
"If you want to try out Ashley's potions, they're on the shelf over there," Bowser pointed at a shelf full of potions. Some looked more poisonous than others, but Greninja is acclimated to poison so it's all good. "Now get what you need to get, and leave me at peace!"
Greninja didn't want to try out Ashley's potions - he wanted to try out the massaging chair. So he grabbed Bowser and threw him out of the room. He then sat in the massaging chair, and relaxed as his arms, legs, and the rest of his body were massaged to utter perfection.
"Oh no you don't!" Bowser ran back inside the room, but was repelled by a water shuriken that knocked him into a wall. A painting of Lucas and Ness fell on top of his head, due to the impact he caused.
"Gaaah!" Bowser grabbed the broken picture frame and threw it in destruction. His anger greatly upped his throwing power; the frame was flying across the hallway, nearly reaching the end. "This means WAR!"
Falco and Knuckles were in the recording studio, and Falco was about to instruct Knuckles in the way of rap. First they had to start off with the basic stuff, such as rhyming.
"Your rhymes must be furnished and on point!" stated Falco. Rhyming is a very important attribute of rapping; failing to rhyme can easily set you up for ultimate failure.
"My rhymes are already on point, and so is everything else about my rap game!" frowned Knuckles. "All I need to do now is launch my rap career!"
Knuckles: I have absolutely no time to waste! Gotta launch my rap career and be on the come up before some undeserving loser rises to the top before I do! A loser like...
Little Mac of all people entered the recording studio, sporting a smirk. Accompanying him was Doc Louis, who was slightly disappointed. His protege was about to indulge in his least favorite thing ever.
"Do we really have to do this Mac?" asked a disgruntled Doc. When Little Mac said he wanted a side career, Doc was hoping that it would have something to do with the candy business (and he thought that for obvious reasons). But he never expected the boxer to pursue a rap career, of all things. Who does he think he is, the modern day Vanilla Ice?
"It is my destiny to be a rapper - the modern day Vanilla Ice!" proclaimed Little Mac, raising his fist in the air. Figures...
Little Mac: In order to beat the best, I have to be the best! Roy Jones Jr is one of the best boxers around, and he's a pretty decent rapper, if not a great one! It was his "secondary career", as I call it. A rap career will establish myself as one of the best!
Doc Louis: Mike Tyson was one of the best boxers at the time, and his secondary career was an actor! You can become an actor, right?
Little Mac: Nice try, Doc, but nothing will deter me from my rap exploits!
Doc Louis: Of all people, and it just had to be you...
Little Mac stepped inside the recording booth, ready to record some epic bars.
Uh, my name's Little Mac,
Got all my cash lined up in a stack,
Indefinite rhyme is what y'all lack,
Gon' catch a whole lotta flak,
Haters can't hold me back,
Go harder than a running back,
Some off y'all need to cut the slack,
Cause y'all nothin' but a bunch of HACKS!
Falco, Knuckles, and Doc Louis stared at Little Mac in bewilderment. Actually, Doc wasn't bewildered - he's still very disappointed about Mac's "secondary career" choice.
"That...was...HORRIBLE!" exclaimed Falco. His ears were trying to decipher what they just heard. "All he did was use the same rhyme over and over again! Blasphemous!"
"Let me show him how it's done!" Knuckles entered the recording booth, shoving Little Mac aside. The boxer threw his hands up in the air, wondering what he just did wrong (which was spitting out crappy bars). "This is how you do it!" Knuckles cleared this throat...and unleashed on the mic.
Been working on my repertoire
Always working on my skills
Got more swagger than the Weeknd
Always running up the hills
Of glory, you can't fade me,
Can't disrespect me, can't walk over me,
I'll throw you into the dirt,
A world full of pain, agony, and hurt,
Tale of two worlds, and I'm on the one,
Wher it's all sunshine and I'm always getting it done
"HE KILLED IT!" Falco overreacted as he ran out of the recording studio. "HE KILLED IT!" he would run through the hallways, telling people this. Most of them is probably thinking a brawler had killed an innocent animal or something.
"And that's how it's done," Knuckles grabbed the mic, and emphatically dropped it in front of Little Mac, leaving the booth and exiting the recording studio. Wonder how Falco would have reacted to the mic drop - would have had a heart attack!
"You know, son, there's always room for wrestling!" Doc Louis told Little Mac, dissuading him from starting his rap career and venture into wrestling. It sounds much more physical, but to Doc, it's better than writing "whack poetry".
"Get me my cell phone..." said Little Mac. "I'm going to call a rap producer..."
"Mac, this is the very reason why I didn't want you to do this," Doc shook his head as he went to go find Mac's cell phone.
Viridi: Pit has been an awesome boyfriend so far! We talk, play games with each other, and do a lot of other things usual couples do! During our bonding, he said the sweetest thing to me: he said that even though he doesn't know why he loves me so much, it's his destiny to love me until the end of time! How sweet is that?
Pit: Why do I love Viridi so much?! I tried asking Kirby, but he just made some unintelligible sound that might not be able to be translated in any way. Then I asked Chrom - who claims he's not a romantic expert, contrary to popular belief - and he said that it could be due to innate factors that I cannot control. I must find a way to gain control of these factors, so I can see what's really going on!
Pit and Viridi were laying on the hammock outside, and Viridi was all up on the angel, getting comfy and resting her eyes. Pit eyed around suspiciously, wondering why Viridi is acting as such. Never had a girl laid on him, and the angel was paranoid that he might catch the cooties!
"Nice day it is, isn't it?" Mega Man asked the two lovebirds. The robot was playing Frisbee with his canine companion, Rush. The Frisbee was high-tech, and can travel as nearly as 500 miles. Not a problem for Rush, given he has Rush Jet.
"Say, Mega Man, hehe, did you ever have a girlfriend?" asked Pit. He didn't ask this question out of curiosity, he was trying to distance himself away from Viridi. But he feels as if he should remain with her at all times...
"Nope, can't say I did, though I wish Dr. Light made one for me," replied Mega Man, throwing the Frisbee across the horizon in a very far distance. He has constantly implored the professor to build a female robot to serve as his soulmate, but Dr. Light has told the robot time and time again that Dr. Wily will eventually find out, and make a female robot of his own - one that's stronger than Dr. Light's. But Mega Man always kicks Dr. Wily's butt, so there should be no concern.
"Mega Man, from a scale from one to ten, how would you rate us as a romantic couple?" Viridi then asked the robot. Mega Man thought over Viridi's question; he can can her a high grade, and get on her good side. Conversely he can give her a low grade, and unleash the goddess of nature's anger and wrath. So he decided to go with the latter, for obvious safety reasons.
"I'd give it a ten," he replied, just when Rush returned the Frisbee, which he found on an isolated island. "A lot of people have been shipping you two for quite some time."
"People like who?" asked Pit, unaware about the Kid Icarus fan base. If you ever played Uprising, you probably knew about his unawareness already.
"The Kid Icarus fans, silly buns!" smiled Viridi. "Silly buns" is just one of Viridi's many embarrassing pet names for Pit.
"...I don't get it." You never will Pit, and that's quite a shame (and a disappointment).
Cloud rested in his room, playing with his pet Chocobo, Cloud Jr. The Chocobo was the only true companion Cloud had aside from Isabelle; he never annoyed the swordsman to a certain degree, and is quiet so he's never really a nuisance.
Zelda barged inside the room with Link, who was feeling slightly better after that cinnamon challenge, despite a few setbacks. His throat was still sore, and his breathing was irregular.
"I want you to spend your time bonding with Link," Zelda told Cloud. The swordsman's always up for whatever - as long as it doesn't involve "dancing". "You can do that much, right?"
"Link and I have lots of things in common, so I don't how some bonding can't be a hassle," replied Cloud. He and Link were meant to be BBFs - best bros forever.
Cloud: To think that Zelda and Link were initially roommates when I got here...I asked Mario why they were rooming together, and he said that it was because of Link's shyness, stating that his shyness will make him less likely to "Netflix and chill". I think the chill part is the last thing Link would want to do...
Zelda sat Link on his bed, and waved to Cloud as she exited the room. Link cleared his throat, but clearing it won't do him any good.
"You feeling any better?" Cloud asked him, attempting to spark a conversation.
"Not quite, my throat is still irritating me, but I'm getting there," replied Link, his dry throat making his voice sound hoarse. Now who is Mario to call someone like Link "shy"? Dude just said a full sentence!
"Man, you look beat. Got yourself a strep throat or anything like that?"
"Sonic challenged me to a cinnamon challenge. I only agreed to do it if it would make him stop pestering me." Link cleared his throat yet again, he could really go for some cough drops right about now.
"Surprised you gave in, you seem like the type of guy who unwillingly says no to everything. You don't seem to care about any nonsense whatsoever."
"Yeah I used to get that a whole lot from Zelda. She used to say that it was because of my visage - called me 'stone faced' once."
Cloud chuckled at Link's little story. Cloud chuckling?! This Cloud must be a robot!
"You know, it's great that the two of us get to bunk in the same room together," remarked Cloud. "Think about it; we're the best swordsmen in the video game industry, and people usually pit the two against us in these fantasy battles...like that Death Battle from ScrewAttack...or even that rap battle..."
"Rap battle?" Link raised an eyebrow, unfamiliar with the video. "Did Knuckles create it?"
"Nope, just some dude on YouTube. You should go check it out, when you have the time."
"Over to the left...just a bit more..." Ganondord instructed Donkey and Diddy Kong as they were moving a painting of the Demon Lord on a wall in the hallway. A Smeargle painted the painting for Ganondorf, and the Gerudo paid the painter Pokemon in Pokemon dollars...fake Pokemon dollars, that is. Kinda makes sense, because giving a Pokemon actual money would be asinine.
"How's this for ya?" asked Donkey Kong. The painting was now positioned in-between picture frames of Link and Zelda. Having his painting anywhere near his arch-rivals was unpleasing to Ganondorf, and he showed how he felt with a frown.
"Take the painting down and lay it against the wall, I'll find an even better place to hang it at..."
Donkey Kong: Ganondorf is one picky dude. We tried hanging his painting in the foyer, but Ganon preferred the hallways, since people can pass by his painting and "admire his eloquence".
Diddy Kong: I suggested that we hang it up in one of the bathrooms, but Ganondorf was against it, saying that someone might get urine on his beloved painting. What bozo in their right mind would pee on a painting?!
Donkey Kong: Well...Link did pee in Lloyd's oatmeal once, so there's that.
Diddy Kong: Doesn't count, Link was lacking in available options, all the bathrooms were taken. You gotta be real stupid to urinate on a painting!
The Kongs departed, just when Bowser showed up. It took him forever to reach Ganondorf, given that he's limping.
"Ganondorf I need your help man!" said the Koopa King. "That darn Greninja is up to no good!"
"Ninjas are usually never up to any good," responded the Demon Lord. He has battled Sheik numerous times before, so he knows how irritable ninjas can be. "Take me to wherever Greninja is, and I shall investigate."
So Bowser guided Ganondorf to Wario's room, and showed him Greninja, still sitting on the massaging chair. He's been using the chair for an awfully long time, better be glad he's not draining the battery, since massaging chairs can last forever.
"I take it Wario bought the massaging chair?" asked Ganondorf. His eyes caught the Rack - the workout exercise thingy - and also a telescope and a guitar, which was all covered in dust. Wario isn't exactly the wisest person when it comes to spending money.
"Yup, sure did," nodded Bowser. "I was originally on the massaging chair while Wario was using the bathroom, until Greninja came in and threw me out of the room just so he could use it."
"And what do you want me for?" Ganondorf sounded confused. Finding the perfect spot to hang his painting was obviously more important than whatever Bowser has in store for him.
"I want you to get Greninja off that massaging chair so I can go back to using it."
Ganondorf gave the Koopa King a blank stare. Bowser may not be an expert at kidnapping Peach (when was he ever successful?), but he's an expert at wasting people's precious time. He previously wasted Shulk's time with his erroneous teachings, and now the Homs is appreciating life without Bowser's lessons.
"Do it just once and I won't bother you again."
So Ganondorf entered Wario's room and confronted Greninja. The ninja Pokemon looked up at Ganondorf, who was glaring him down, trying to intimidate him. However it didn't seem to work; Greninja was used to being intimidated by Pokemon such as Mightyena and Arcanine, who use the Intimidate ability, so he's used to...
"GWWAAH!" Out of nowhere, Ganondorf delivered a Warlock Punch to Greninja, sending the ninja Pokemon flying through the wall. Bowser was left speechless; he never imagined Ganondorf's Warlock Punch to be that strong!
"You're welcome," the Demon Lord told Bowser as he departed. The Koopa King sat back on the massaging chair, and sighed happily. Back to rest and relaxation...
Bowser: Wario has yet to return from the bathroom, and he said he would be back in less than ten minutes...bet you he's buying more useless crap for me to use!
Corrin stood outside the bathroom, holding his urine while doing the infamous pee-pee dance. Wario was apparently still using the bathroom, and who knows what he's doing in there for so long. Perhaps he's actually using the bathroom; he ate a bunch of refried beans the previous night, and his stomach has the same reaction to the beans as Mario's, although the effects are more catastrophic. Or he could be on his cell phone, either looking at hot pictures of Samus or buying a Lamborghini online.
"Inventing a new dance move, eh?" Jacky Bryant approached Corrin. The race car driver was combing his hair - even when he's not racing, his 'do has to look tight.
"Wario refuses to come out of the bathroom, and I can't seem to hold it any longer!" replied Corrin. His feet was moving up and down, up and down, up and down; it's the only way to do the pee-pee dance. No other method is possible.
"Um, you do realize there's other bathrooms in this mansion, right?"
"I am well aware of that." Corrin did not believe in using other bathrooms; he thinks everyone is delegated to one bathroom, and only one bathroom alone. Using more than one bathroom can "disrupt the sanitary values".
Corrin: My bathroom proposition was derived from the bathroom policy at Nohr. Father built one too many bathrooms in the castle, and so to make full use of each, he delegated one bathroom to each individual. If only I was living in Hoshidio...each person probably has three to five bathrooms for themselves! Oh, the wonders!
Corrin was unable to hold it anymore; his bladder leaked, soiling himself in the process. And now he was feeling awfully uncomfortable.
"Must...change...my undergarments..." the prince of Nohr inched away, trying to make his situation less awkward than it seem. But it was no use; as he made his way down the hallway, he was receiving questionable looks from his fellow brawlers, making him feel embarrassed. What's worse is that he'll feel that way once he makes it to his room, which is far, far away from where he is.
The sound of a toilet flushing was heard from the bathroom, indicating that Wario was finished (so he was using the bathroom...and he did a number two). The fatso came out of the bathroom, as noxious fumes exited the door and filled up the air. Nobody is going to use that bathroom anytime soon; perhaps Corrin's proposition should be amended...
"Man it feels good!" Wario grinned after relieving himself. Jacky held his nose, unwilling to inhale Wario's toxic fumes.
"Dude, how many burritos did you eat?" the race car driver asked. Burritos are Wario's second favorite food, and he puts ingredients inside his burrito that shouldn't belong, such as chocolate syrup, potato chips, butter, bacon, donut frosting, and virtually anything else high in fat. Your move, Wii Fit Trainer.
"No burritos for me, just buckets of refried beans. Absolutely delicious!"
"The refried beans meant for taco night?" Taco night is next Friday, and Wario's indulgences is ruining any plans for the night.
"Mario's rich, he can afford to buy some more beans...for me to eat," Wario uttered the latter part of his response under his breath. Don't do it, Wario, think about those poor bathrooms!
The doorbell rang, followed by some knocking on the front door. Geno went to the foyer to see who it was.
"Please tell me Wario didn't buy any more dumb crap..." the start sprite thought out loud. He had already seen Wario carry his massaging chair through the mansion with the Black Knight's help, and feared that more crud was coming on the way to the mansion. When Geno opened the front door, he was expecting some UPS or FedEx guy with a package, but instead he someone rather unexpected.
"Hey Geno, how's it going?" greeted a man wearing a blue hat with a happy expression on it. "Bet you don't know me, do you? Well my name is MC Ballyhoo, and I am the famous creator of the Star Carnival! Of course, you could have been a part of it, but that lousy corporate from Square Enix wouldn't budge, not one bit. But at least you made a cameo appearance in Superstar Saga, amirite?"
"So confused right now..." Geno shook his head in bewilderment. Who on earth sent Ballyhoo to the mansion?
Geno: This MC Ballyhoo fellow is really starting to creep me out. Everything from his eyes, to his green skin, to his ginormous mouth, to his giant blue hat on his head...looks like a rejected character from Breadwinners. And when you take into account the quality of that show...
"Who's that dweeb?" Samus walked across in the foyer, holding John Marston's bounty hunting book in her hands. So much information for her to digest.
"I am MC Ballyhoo, the emcee of the Star Carnival!" MC Ballyhoo rushed inside the mansion, handing Samus his business card. "Check out my lovely business card!"
"CEO of Super Star Records?" Samus read Ballyhoo's business card.
"Yeah buddy, I'm the head honcho! Little Mac called me earlier today, expressing interest in starting his rap career. I'm here to take him under my wing and put him on the right track!"
"Woah, woah, woah, let's clear some things up." Samus didn't know which was harder to comprehend - a weirdo like MC Ballyhoo owning a record company, or Little Mac hoping to become an aspiring rapper. "First of all, what possibly convinced you to start a record company?"
"It was an easy way to make money," Big Top, Ballyhoo's talking hat, spoke up. "Other ventures were available, but we..."
"And secondly..." Samus rudely cut off the Big Top. She doesn't care about anything. "...why does Little Mac want to be a rapper all of a sudden?"
"He has told me he wants to be like Roy Jones Jr, and in order to do that, he'll have to be a rapper, just like him! Where is the whippersnapper anyway? Yo Geno, do you know where he can be? Geno?"
The star sprite was nowhere to be found. Presumably he was unnerved by how MC Ballyhoo looks.
Mario and Fox finally found a reservation for Mario's and Peach's date. You won't possibly believe what is was.
"You sure you want to reserve a date at McDonald's?" asked Falco. He tried talking Mario out of it, but to no avail. "Sounds unprofessional if you ask me."
"A young-a lad had his prom date at McDonald's, so I don't-a see what the problem is!" defended Mario. The plumber wanted to go to a restaurant that was relatively well-known, without having to deal with any autograph signing or the like. McDonald's was apparently a viable choice for him.
"Dude was in high school, he didn't know any better. However YOU, of all people..."
"Mario, we have a guest in the mansion!" Isabelle ran inside the computer room. "Geno has informed me that an individual by the name of MC Ballyhoo is inside, looking for Little Mac!"
"Not that-a weirdo!" said Mario. The plumber knows the emcee well from his Mario Party 8 days; his voice still resonates in the back of his head. "Why is he-a here for Little Mac?"
Corrin reached his room...only to find out that he didn't have any clean underwear. So he had to uncomfortably make his way to the laundry room, where he would find his one of his underwear, and put them on. He had to do this when no one was looking, though. After he was finished, Corrin searched for the rest of his underwear in one of the many laundry baskets. Bowser Jr just so happened to enter the laundry room at this time, and he was getting the wrong idea after observing Corrin.
"Going on a panty raid?" he snickered. Panty raids are common among male college students, thinking that since they're living on their own without the authority of their parents, it's okay to visit women's dorm rooms and steal their panties for no good reason.
"Me? On a panty raid?" Corrin was offended Bowser Jr would ask such a question. "Can a man look for his undergarments in peace?!"
Bowser Jr: Who does Corrin think he is, a time traveler from the 1920s? Who honestly uses the term "undergarments" these days?!
Corrin looked inside one of the washing machines, and saw Greninja, asleep and possibly in a coma. There was also a gaping hole present. Ganondorf's Warlock Punch was strong enough to send the ninja Pokemon flying to the laundry room.
"Wonder how Greninja ended up here," Corrin wondered as he safely took Greninja out of the machine and gave him to Bowser Jr. "Take him to Lucina!"
"But Lucina is busy bonding with Chrom!" said Bowser Jr.
"Nice try, Lucina is in the lounge, reading Swordsman Weekly per usual. Now do as I say!"
Bowser Jr sighed and did as he was told. He was used to taking orders from Bowser. Now he's doing commands from Corrin. What he would do to live a single day without authority...male college students do it whenever they can!
Little Mac and Knuckles were in the recording booth of the recording studio, each taking turns delivering bars. Falco and Doc Louis sat outside, watching and listening.
"Why did my boy decide to become a rapper..." Doc Louis had his face in his hands. Get over it Doc, it's Little Mac's life, not yours. You have no control over his being.
"It might be a blessing in disguise," replied Falco, sounding as nice as possible while negating the fact that Mac's bars aren't that impressive. "He could make you a lot of dough, and get so rich, he can afford a mansion for himself!"
"Man do I look like I wanna live in a mansion separate from here?! You must be outta your mind!"
"Never said you should live with Little Mac to begin with..."
Doc Louis: Wherever Mac gonna live at, I'm gonna live there as well! Ain't no way he's living out on his own without a girl! That's why he's stayin' put here until he get married! With Fiora, this would be a lot easier...
There was a knock at the door. MC Ballyhoo came in, and Little Mac rushed out of the booth.
"MC Ballyhoo it's so great to see you!" the boxer shook the emcee's hand. His dream of becoming a rapper was nearly coming true, and Ballyhoo has the final verdict on Mac's life-altering choice.
"Glad I could make it here!" gleamed Ballyhoo. "So about this record deal, I was thinking..."
"Hold up just a minute!" Knuckles exited the recording booth and confronted Knuckles. The idea of Little Mac getting a record deal did not please him one bit. "How is he getting a record deal if his rhymes are wack as heck? I'm arguably a better rapper!"
"Let's hear what both of you have in the recording booth, and we will decide who gets the deal," said Big Hat. So Little Mac and Knuckles went back inside the booth, and spat out some bars. Little Mac used the bars he used previously in this episode, and Knuckles did the same. After hearing what both men had to prove, Ballyhoo pondered over which rapper he preferred, and soon he came to a forgone conclusion...
"Little Mac gets the record deal!" he announced. Little Mac cheered, pumping his fist in the air, while Knuckles, Falco, and Doc Louis just stood there agape.
"Mac's undeserving of the deal, did you not hear his rap compared to Knuckles'?" asked Falco. While Mac used the same freaking rhyme throughout, Knuckles at least changed it up every now and then.
"I did hear his rap, loud and clear! Mac's rap was more simpler, and did not include any double entendres! Knuckles would never make it big if his rhymes are unable to translate to the mainstream audience!" Is Ballyhoo insulting the intelligence and comprehension skills of the mainstream rap audience? Seems like it...
"Stay where-a you are, Ballyhoo!" Mario ran inside the recording studio, with Isabelle accompanying him. "We have-a to talk!"
"Ah, Mario, it's so great to see you again! Got some great news, Little Mac, who's aspiring to become a rapper, just earned himself a record deal, and he'll be coming with me!"
"No-a way Jose, Mac's staying right here where-a he belongs!"
"If you have it that way..." Ballyhoo pulled out a Bill Blaster and laid it in front of Mario. No one was prepared for this, not even Mario. "Either you let me have Little Mac as my client, or I'll blast you to bits!"
"Um, pardon me, but...isn't this for Little Mac to choose?" asked Isabelle, Ballyhoo's so focused about the record deal, he's completely overlooking it actually being signed. "I mean, this is his choice, after all..."
"Yeah, you're right!" Ballyhoo handed Little Mac the contract...and placed a Bill Blaster in front of him as well. Ballyhoo is one persistent - and dangerous - fellow... "Better sign that deal if you know what's good for you, Little Mac!"
The boxer just stood there, exasperated. What did he get himself into...
Bowser Jr arrived at the lounge with an unconscious Greninja, and saw Lucina sitting on a couch reading Swordsman Weekly. The koopa placed Greninja next to the swordswoman and ran off, hoping Lucina would not so far from Lucina was Pit and Viridi, and Pit was showing her a wrestling video on an iPad.
Pit: When you're in a relationship, you gotta share your interests with your lover, or so Robin says. He claims that doing so can get you and your lover mentally on the same page. So that's what I'm gonna do with Viridi...
"You seriously watch two human men touch each other in a stupid ring?" Viridi grimaced at what she was watching. Needless to say, she appears to be disapproving of wrestling; her disdain for humans might be a factor of this.
"They're not touching, they're fighting!" Pit defiantly defended. "Two different things!" Apparently Pit does not realize that wrestling is scripted, and he's always quick to defend wrestling whenever people call it fake. For instance, he once argued to Akira that the Undertaker is an actual undertaker in real life, and that he uses wrestling as a venture to unleash the anger he grows from his occupation.
"I'll be right back, my eyes are hurting," Viridi got off of the couch, unable to watch any more of Pit's wrestling video.
"You two are such a great couple," remarked Gilgamesh, who was fixing himself a drink. "I know I might have sounded cliche, but..."
"Nah man, you're good," replied Pit. "Though I still don't know why I love Viridi so much..."
"Me neither, it's not like Knuckles poured a love potion down any beverage you drunk to make you like her..."
"Knuckles did what now?!" Pit's eyes bulged. Gil covered his mouth in guilt - he saw Knuckles pour the love potion in Pit's drink at Daisy's birthday party while Waluigi was reading the love letter, and was considering calling him out for it. Viridi, who was just finished rubbing her eyes, looked at Gil suspiciously.
"Guys we have an emergency!" Geno barged inside the lounge. "Some guy named MC Ballyhoo is inside the mansion, and he has Mario and Little Mac held at gunpoint...sort of. We must stop him!"
"Why can't you do it yourself?" questioned Lucina. She finally saw Greninja, and tried to wake him up, but to no avail.
"Ballyhoo is too creepy, can't stand the sight of that guy." Excuses, excuses...
"No one is going to save Mario and Little Mac if they don't rush into action!" said Pit, feeling all heroic. "Let's go, you guys!"
So Pit, Gil, Lucina, and Greninja left the lounge to go save Mario and Little Mac. Geno stayed behind, not wanting to put up with Ballyhoo. Viridi also stayed behind - and she was dazed and confused as ever.
Cloud and Link were in the room, chilling as usual, when Kirby barged in. No, he wasn't going to make any silly faces for Cloud's and Link's amusement, like he did with Sonic, and speaking of the hedgehog...that's who Kirby spat out once he entered the room. That's the second time Sonic was trapped inside Kirby's stomach; poor guy can't seem to catch a break.
"No Zelda, I'm not going to apologize to Link!" Sonic said after he was spat out. Once he realized where he was, he saw Link, and chuckled nervously.
"So what's this about an apology?" Link raised an eyebrow, folding his arms. He can't wait for what Sonic has to say - if he has anything to say at all.
Sonic: Stuck in Kirby's stomach yet again...and still no chili dogs! What does Kirby have against chili dogs?
"Oh yeah, about the cinnamon challenge..." Sonic said nervously. His initial fear is that he'll find a way to screw up the apology, and greatly anger Link. "I'm sorry for putting you up to it. I was gonna ask Cloud originally, but I was unable to find him."
"Apology accepted," smiled Link, unsure whether or not Sonic's apology was genuine. Given that Zelda forced him to apologize, it probably wasn't.
"Great to see that you manned up to your mistakes," remarked Cloud. "Trust me, I've made some mistakes in the past..."
"My cinnamon challenge was not a mistake! Bet you were hiding from me because you were too afraid to lose!"
"Or maybe I was handling important business - like helping Luigi find a wedding date."
Sonic, Link, and Kirby were taken back by this. Why can't Luigi find a wedding date on his own? That wimp...
"So when is the date?" asked Link. Asking Luigi would be too much.
"He has told me specifically not to tell anyone the date, for now," replied Cloud.
"Listen up, boys!" Pit barged inside the room, sounding like an authoritarian figure. "Mario and Little Mac are in trouble; some Ballyhoo guy is holding them hostage. We must rescue them before it's too late! Sonic, do you have your cinnamon?"
"Got it right here," Sonic held up a canister of cinnamon for Pit to see. How is he able to carry that around, he doesn't even have any pockets! "Why do you need it for?"
Pit guided the group of Link, Cloud, Sonic, Kirby, Pit, Gil, and Lucina (who was holding an unconscious Greninja in her arms) to Wario's room, where they found Wario and Bowser fighting with each over on the massaging chair. Pit overheard that Wario bought the chair, and it appears the angel wants to use said chair in his master scheme.
"Just because my massaging chair was not being used doesn't mean you have a right to use it!" said Wario, poking Bowser in the eye.
"Maybe you should have hid it somewhere where it cannot be seen!" the Koopa King retaliated by slapping Wario. Their fighting caused the massaging chair to topple over; Wario nearly shrieked when it hit the floor.
"Break it up, you two!" Cloud intervened in the fight along with Link, separating Bowser and Wario from each other. They can fight another time, but now's not the occasion.
Wario: Bowser is gonna pay BIG TIME if he breaks my massaging chair! He toppled my precious thing over...Who are you to say that I'm also at fault?! Bowser weights much, much more than me...does he?
Pit looked up at Ashley's shelf and saw potions - one of those potions made him become infatuated with Viridi. He'll have to look for that particular potion for another time. He saw a max revive sitting on the shelf; he took it and fed it to Greninja. Doing so was hard - who knows where that frog's mouth was. In an instant, Greninja sprung back to life!
"Sweet!" exclaimed Pit. "Cloud, Link, get the massaging chair!" The swordsmen grabbed the massaging chair, and the group ran out.
"Hey, get back here with my chair!" Wario ran after the group. With his fatty self, he'll never catch them in time.
"Yeah, I wasn't finished relaxing on it yet!" Bowser also ran after the group. He has a better chance at reaching them Wario does.
Back to the recording studio...where nothing exciting is happening. Everyone is still in their usual spots. MC Ballyhoo was still waiting for Little Mac, nervous as he ever was, to sign the deal, and he simply couldn't wait any longer.
"Don't make me count down to ten," he threatened. Never has his patience ever been tested like this before. "You want to go big, right?"
"Well yes, but I don't appreciate having this Bill Blaster in front of me..." replied Little Mac. He can't sign the deal because of a lousy Bill Blaster? Some logic that is...
"You don't have to sign the deal, Mac, you can always try wrestling, or even..." Doc Louis said before Ballyhoo pointed at him. Unwritten Rule #17: if someone points at you during a time of peril, it's best not to act.
"Shut up or you'll end up having the same fate as Mario and Little Mac!" threatened Ballyhoo. He's real serious about that record deal!
"Why can't we just talk it out?" proposed Falco, hoping to bring this situation to a peaceful conclusion.
"Same goes for you, bird for brains!" Inside Falco was burning up in anger.
"Little Mac, just-a sign the deal, and put an end-a to this!" begged Mario.
"I...I don't know man..." said Little Mac. Already he was getting overwhelmed. "I want to sign this deal and become a rapper and all, but I don't want to leave this place..."
"Oh is that what it's all about?!" Ballyhoo fumed, his face turning red. This was his last straw! "No time for playing games, I'm firing this Bill Blaster RIGHT NOW!"
So Ballyhoo pulled out a remote control and pressed a button...but before any Bullet Bills could be fired, Cloud and Link swooped out of nowhere and destroyed both Bill Blasters with their sword. Everyone except for Ballyhoo was relieved; the emcee was looking around for answers.
"About time someone came!" said Knuckles, eating a bag of Doritios. Yes, he was eating Doritios this whole time. That's Knuckles for ya...
Knuckles *munch* *munch* It was all quiet in the recording booth *munch**munch* and no one was doing anything, so I went out *munch**munch* and got myself some chips. *munch**munch**munch* Little Mac sure knows how to waste some time...
"Someone better explain to me what's going on!" demanded Ballyhoo. Instead of an explanation, the emcee got cinnamon in his eyes - courtesy of Sonic, who ran past Ballyhoo in a speed of light. Then came Greninja and Kirby; Greninja sprayed some water on the floor, causing Ballyhoo to slip backwards, and Kirby coughed out the massaging chair. Ballyhoo landed back on the chair, and was trying to get the cinnamon out of his eyes. But there's no way to do that without some water - and Greninja was unwilling to help him out - so it was no use.
"So that's the Ballyhoo guy, with the hat on?" Pit asked Mario, after he and Lucina entered the studio. Mario was relieved to not be staring at a Bill Blaster for an eternity.
"That's-a him," nodded Mario. He saw a hand-shaped phone in Pit's hand, and grew mortified. Pit was about to do something unthinkable! "You're not doing what I think-a you're doing!"
"I'm not doing it, but she would," Pit motioned over to Lucina. "Would you like to do the honors?" Pit asked the swordswoman.
"With pleasure..." Lucina took the phone, and dialed a phone number. Then the unthinkable happened...
...Master Hand appeared in thin air. He materialized in front of the brawlers, who were all in awe.
"Who dares to call me forth during my indefinite vacation?" the hand boomed. He saw through his nonexistent eyes MC Ballyhoo, sitting on a massaging chair. "Bah! A massaging chair! You fool, why do you insist on bringing that chair inside my establishment?! Do you even live here?!"
"What who goes there?" Ballyhoo looked around, all confused. His eyes were too damaged to see anything - like the majesty of Master Hand.
"How dare you play dumb with me! Your punishment will be immense...I shall doom you...to Subspace!"
At the snap of his fingers, Master Hand summoned a portal to Subspace, and it sucked Ballyhoo and the massaging chair in.
"No! I can't go out like this!" Ballyhoo exclaimed, holding on to Big Top. His grip on the talking hat became loose, and Big Top flew away from the emcee and landed in the hands of Falco. "You will all be sorry!" These were the last words of Ballyhoo, as he was finally sucked inside the portal, which vanished immediately. The emcee was never to be heard from again.
"Glad that's taken care of," Master Hand remarked before turning his attention to Mario. "Ah, Mario, so good to see you again! I take it you're handling it well being the man of the mansion?"
"Yes, yes, I guess-a you can say that..." Mario gave a cheesy grin. His grin won't do him much, though.
"Isabelle, give me a grade report on Mario!"
"Mario has been...slightly underwhelming," stated Isabelle, displaying more honesty than Mario's grin. The plumber held his head in sadness. "But for the most part, he's greatly looked after all of us!" Mario immediately held his head back up.
"That's what I wanted to hear! Since I'm back here and all, I am now the man of the mansion - or the hand of the mansion, hehe..."
"Cloud Strife, nice to meet you," Cloud held out his hand to Master Hand, coming forth as humble and meek as he knew how.
"Likewise," Master Hand shook Cloud's hand with his finger. Sometimes when you're a giant hand, you have to improvise. "We shall have a discussion in the ballroom, everyone must be worried sick about me!"
Yeah, Master Hand, if you really think so.
All the brawlers gathered in the ballroom, where they would ask Master Hand a plethora of questions, like what he did on vacation, or more importantly, if he asked out any women. (Captain Falcon asked the latter question, he can't have a giant hand get the ladies.) Master Hand was having a special conversation with Cloud, Corrin, and Bayonetta, the three newcomers.
"You know, I used to rule a kingdom once," Master Hand conversed with Corrin. "I was arguably a great ruler - people gave me a huge hand!" He slapped Corrin on the back, hard.
"Must be cheeky being the ruler of the Smash Universe," remarked Bayonetta. She can't wait to brag to Jeanne about meeting Master Hand, Jeanne would have a fit.
Bayonetta: Who would have thunk that a giant hand is able to create an entire universe at the snap of his fingers? It's quite marvelous when you think about it, a being of his magnitude is able to possess such power, and might...
Ganondorf: Like me, of course!
Bayonetta: Don't make me blush, you still have yet to prevail over your arch nemesis!
Ganondorf: ...It's a work in progress, woman!
"So what do you have against massaging chairs?" Cloud asked Master Hand. If you remember correctly, maids, servants, and massaging chairs are irrelevant in the nonexistent eyes of Master Hand.
"Massaging chairs are an utter travesty, I sat on one once and it nearly destroyed the very framework of my being!" explained Master Hand. "So glad I got rid of that massaging chair and whoever the heck the guy that brought it was..."
"Yeah man, I feel ya..." Wario chuckled nervously, walking past by. He was already sent to Subspace before...never again.
"So what do we do with this hat?" Falco looked down at Big Top with Knuckles. Somehow he's more smiley than Toad, and that's not physically possible!
"Super Star Records is without his CEO!" stated Big Top for no reason. "Who will fill MC Ballyhoo's void?"
"Well...if nobody else is available...then I'm willing to take over the corporation."
"Really man you're sure about this?" asked Knuckles. Falco silently uttered Isabelle's name, and the echidna immediately knew Falco's purpose. He still has to help out, but in a much bigger way.
"I will name you CEO of Super Star Records, effectively immediately!" Falco is now Super Star Records CEO, and he knew what his first business move was.
"Too early to sign Knuckles to a record deal?" he asked Big Top. The talking hat gleamed with delight.
"Let's sign the deal right now!" he exclaimed. Little Mac approached Big Top - what does he want?
"I've been talking with Doc Louis just now..." the boxer began. "...and I've been thinking...can I be the second person to sign with Super Star Records? It would be nice to do my work in the comfort of the mansion, rather than anywhere else..."
"You got a deal!" said Big Top. Major props to Little Mac to getting Doc Louis on his side - must have taken a lot of chocolate bars to sway him over.
"Falco, I have spoken with Fox about the glucose monitoring system for Isabelle, and he has told me it will be a joint effort," Ryu approached Falco, carrying a punching bag over his shoulder. Training was more important to him than speaking with Master Hand, conversation doesn't keep you fit! "Are you working towards getting it?"
"Yes we are, and it will take more than just a joint effort," Falco replied, looking at Big Top, Knuckles, and Little Mac. Everything was in good hands...
...though the same can't be said for Pit and Viridi's relationship. Pit found the goddess of nature, sitting by herself in a chair isolating herself from everyone. It's almost as if she and Ashley switched bodies.
"You seem a little down," Pit told her. "Need to talk about something?"
Viridi didn't say anything; she just teared up and walked away. Guess she can't handle the truth...