Episode 22: Sweetness
The Great King of Evil. The Dark Lord. Ganon of the Enchanted Thieves.
No, these are not generic nicknames for generic evil villains (well, except for the third one). These are monikers for the mighty Ganondorf - the man who can alternate forms between a built Gerudo and a freakish, demonic boar, a form that is thankfully hasn't been used in present time. He embodies traits that every prototypical villain should have - malice, hatred, arrogance, and the lust for world domination. In some ways, Ganondorf feels as if he's complete, in every sense of the word. However, he feels as if he needs one thing - just one thing - in order to fully feel completion...
...and that would be a love interest. Right now you're probably thinking, "Why would Ganondorf want a girlfriend for, he's evil beyond words, and he's ugly as well!" But don't mistake it, Ganondorf still has a sweet spot for women, and now's the time for him to make his move. He may be old and all, but that doesn't stop him from finding his true love!
"Hello, who is it?" asked Captain Falcon when someone knocked on the door to his room. He was expecting a female brawler to be standing at the door, holding a basket of chocolate-covered strawberries to feed to him like a baby, so when he saw Ganondorf staring at him with a deadpan stare and his arms folded, he was all disgusted. "Hey you're not a girl, what business do you have?!"
"I came here...for romantic advice," Ganondorf replied with a rather heavy sigh. "I want you to teach me how to be romantic." Why is Ganondorf asking Captain Falcon of all people, has he ever seen any of his failed attempts at asking girls out?
Ganondorf: Of course asking Captain Falcon for romantic advice has its shares of risks, but who else could I have gone to? Mario has a bit of an on and off relationship with Peach, and his brother Luigi is a textbook example of a fraidy cat. Ryu would have been a viable choice, but he's too straightforward, not to mention his affair with Chun-Li is...very murky. Does he even like that girl? I've always asked him that very question, and the only response I get is in the form of sweat and tears...
"Looks like you came to the right guy!" gleamed Captain Falcon. "So, why is an evil dude like yourself desiring to be romantic all of a sudden? You got feelings for a certain gal?"
"Why yes I do..." Ganondorf responded, unsure of giving his response to Falcon's question. "...But I'm hesitant to tell you the name of the person I like."
"How about you give me some clues about the girl, and I'll guess who it is!" Nothing like some guessing game to raise Captain Falcon's intrigue, while keeping him at bay for the moment.
"Let's see...she's tall, has long hair, usually stoic most of the time, not that many people know her real age..." Got any idea who Ganondorf is describing? Captain Falcon nodded his head with each clue he received, and soon he came to a forgone conclusion...
"You're in love with LUCINA?!" he gasped, completely in utter disbelief. Lucina certainly fits the bill - she's tall, has long hair, mostly stoic, and people to this day still debate about her real age. "Chrom's not gonna like that, not one bit! He wouldn't want a demon lord to be his son-in-law!"
"I don't like Lucina, you half-blooded twit!" Ganondorf slapped Captain Falcon very, very hard - so hard he knocked the racer's helmet off. "Do you not realize how young she is?!"
"Like it's supposed to be my fault she's beautiful and smoking hot..." What if Chrom walked by the room and heard this? Captain Falcon would never heard the end of his little rant. "Alright then, what other girl fits your criteria?"
"Apparently it seems like I have to show you. Follow me, and don't be extremely surprised or astonished when I show you who it is. We don't need you making a scene..."
One of the more finer aspects of the Smash Mansion's gaming room is table tennis. Unlike regular tennis, which requires a great amount of focus, hustle, and athleticism, table tennis is less frenetic, and requires only focus and...well mostly focus. Mario and Ike were embroiled in a highly intense table tennis match - the ball going back and forth like a swinging pendulum in a clock - while Proto Man spectated, finding nothing else to fulfill his boredom.
"Hiyah!" Mario served the ball to Ike, and the ball traveled so fast, it zipped past Ike and through a wall, leaving behind a gaping hole. Not a huge problem for Mr. Game & Watch to fix, he's had bigger problems to deal with.
"Nice serve!" commended Ike, in awe of Mario's awesome strength and reflexes. Nobody was keeping the score; either Mario and Ike are just playing for fun, or Proto Man, the spectator, is too lazy to keep up with the score. We'll just go with the latter for now.
Proto Man: Table tennis is overrated in my eyes, don't really understand the fascination behind it. Just two dudes overexerting themselves at some lousy table, serving the ball from one side to another, when they can just stand there in place and not have to run about all the time. It's like juggling while jumping in place - you're using up your energy levels for no good reason.
Also present in the gaming room, standing against a wall with his arms folded and reflecting upon life was Heihachi Mishima. He was a man of a few words - a few English words, in spite of the fact that he can't even speak English at all - and would rather let his fists do the talking.
"Sore ga tsudzuku ma, anata no chīsana tēburutenisugēmu o tanoshimimasu! Watashi wa anata no izureka to taisen shita baai, watashi wa zettai ni jinsokuna-ryoku de shihai surudarou!" Heihachi told the table tennis combatants.
"Proto Man, can you translate-a that for me?" Mario asked the renegade robot. You would figure that a robot like Proto Man would be able to translate what Heihachi just said, but apparently it seems like the complete opposite, as he shrugged while shaking his head. But at least Google Translate is always abound, right?
"Naze anata sukoshi... Ā, watashi no atama," Heihachi began to clutch his head, grimacing in slight pain. Yet Mario, Ike, nor Proto Man paid him any attention.
"Got em!" Ike served the tennis ball past Mario, and the plumber furiously grunted. He was en fuego, he kept serving the ball past Ike, and Ike couldn't copy that momentum against Mario. So much for the plumber's hot streak.
Suddenly, Heihachi Mishima collapsed to the floor with a heavy thud. The thud was so loud that it caught the attention of the three men. They saw that Heihachi wasn't moving a single inch, centimeter, or anything below that, and feared for the worst. What's wrong with the kung fu fighter?
"Oh crap, something's wrong with Heihachi!" panicked Ike, pulling on his hair. He's seen situations like these on drama shows on television - a character loses his/her consciousness, and the surrounding characters do their best to help that person recuperate. Never would the swordsman expect to be in anything like this. "What are we gonna do?!"
"I'll go get some help!" Proto Man said, running out of the gaming room. In reality, he's not getting any help - he's running as far as possible from the current situation, not wanting to be associated with any consequences that may result from it.
"Heihachi, how are-a you feeling?" Mario knelt down at Heihachi's side, putting him up against a wall and checking on him. The kung fu fighter mumbled some Japanese words that Mario is unable to decipher. "I think he needs a glass-a of water!"
"Where on earth are we gonna find that?" asked Ike. His level of worry and concern is really taking quite a toll on his overall intelligence.
"To my office!" responded Mario. He and Ike carried Heihachi out of the gaming room, and to safety.
Pit knocked on the door to Link's room, in a dire need to ask the Hylian some questions. These questions pertain to his relationship with Viridi, and he's only in a relationship with her to get a Metal Gear Solid game - even though the series is already done.
Pit: Love is very confusing...so I was with Viridi in a hammock, and she wanted me to "serenade" her with a romantic song! Why can't she just sing a song herself, it was her idea to sing one! Does she think I'm some Justin Bieber knockoff?! At least Bieber makes it easy and cool to sound like a girl...somewhat.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Link responded after Pit continued to knock on the door. He opened the door, and Pit was still knocking - knocking on Link's forehead. The Hylian sported a giant frown on his face.
"What do you want?" Link asked apathetically. You're probably thinking, "Why is Link acting all salty, it's not like he's doing anything important!" Actually, he is doing something important - he's finishing up the invitations for Luigi's wedding so he can send them out later in the day. Marth was supposed to complete this task, but the Hero-King followed Wii Fit Trainer's advice, and decided to take a week-long break.
"I need you to give me some advice on staying in a relationship," replied Pit, looking around nervously to see if Viridi might be lurking by. It would break her heart to see Pit stoop as low as needing romantic advice, for she thinks he knows how to be romantic from their previous relationship.
"Would help you, but I'm kinda busy...sorry man. Perhaps you can ask Cloud for romantic advice; sure, he may not look like the romantic type, but he's better than asking Captain Falcon. If you were to look up thirst in the dictionary, I can guarantee you Falcon will have a picture of himself next to the term."
"Captain Falcon actually drinks a very liberal amount of water, so I don't get your point, or how this relates to romance..." Pit just utilized another vocabulary word! The booking reading session from Viridi must be working wonders!
"You're slow, so you won't get it. Now go to Cloud, and leave me alone while I finish the rest of these invitations!"
"Invitations for the wedding? Am I invited?" No Pit, you're totally not invited, it's not like your a good friend of Luigi's or anything.
"You live here at the mansion, is that correct?" Pit nodded his head excitedly. "Then of course you're invited, now do me a favor and LET ME BE!" Link slammed the door in Pit's face.
"See ya at the wedding!" responded Pit, walking away to go consult Cloud. He would have preferred Link since he's already in a relationship, but he'll take whatever he gets.
Sonic, the speeding hedgehog who can run faster than your dad's Ferrari - if your father even owns one - is feeling rather jovial today. For the first time in a good while, he doesn't have to give Master Hand a hand massage, for the Smash universe creator is paying a visit to Crazy Hand. May we wish Master Hand the absolute best as he copes with this kook.
"What to do, what to do..." Sonic strolled through the mansion, trying to figure out how to spend his time now that he's off the hook, for today. So many things he can do, but he must pick one activity to ease any boredom he might have. His eyes immediately caught Olimar, carrying a large container in his hands. "Hey Olimar, what's that you got there?"
"A discovered alien from a faraway planet," explained the astronaut. "Hocotate Freight has been doing a lot of space discovery missions, and the alien inside here is one of their finest discoveries."
Olimar: Apparently whenever Hocotate discovers a new alien, they always send an alien species to my address. But thankfully only my family gets the aliens, since the aliens are shipped to my home. Now Hocotate has found out that I live at the Smash Mansion, and they changed the address so Master Hand gets them, and he gives them to me...Question: Does Dr. Wily still accept aliens?
"An alien is inside that container? How cool!" exclaimed Sonic. "We should keep it as a pet!" Think of the normal pet activities Sonic can do with the alien creature - petting, playing Frisbee, running laps around a fire hydrant...though that's what dogs usually do, and not their owners. You would have to be a mentally insane person to run around a fire hydrant.
"No, we can't keep it as a pet, it might be very dangerous!" stated Olimar. Think of the dangerous things the alien might do - shredding expensive furniture, destroying the walls of the mansion, swallowing Wario whole...in all sincere honesty, nobody would give a single darn about Wario getting eaten. Everyone would greatly appreciate the alien if it ever ate Wario.
"Pit bulls and rottweilers are pretty dangerous, yet people keep them as pets! Your logic is criminally flawed!"
"Not as flawed as you wanting to keep a foreign alien as a pet, when we don't even know what it's capable of..."
"Anyone care to explain what's in the giant container?" asked Samus, who happened to walk by. Of all the people she had to pass by, it had to be her two least favorite people - Sonic, for obvious reasons, and Olimar, whom she can't stand for reasons unknown. It could be his appearance, or lack of overall personality.
"Inside is an alien that Hocotate Freight has sent to me in a package," explained Olimar. Holding the container in place while standing was making the astronaut frail, he has to put it down somewhere before he collapses from the weight.
"And we're gonna keep the alien as a pet!" exclaimed Sonic. Samus rolled her eyes and shook her head at the hedgehog's idea - even she thinks keeping the alien as a pet is ludicrous.
"What if the alien starts attacking you and the others, would you still keep it?" questioned Samus, hoping Sonic would put on his thinking cap and say no. But a rash individual like Sonic lacks a thinking cap, and he has been lacking one ever since his 1991 introduction.
"Of course, why not, most kids growing up attack their parents, it's a part of adolescence! Kids become rebellious at a young age, and it has never been more prevalent during this current generation!"
"Where are you taking the alien?" Samus instantly asked Olimar, not wanting to deal with Sonic's silliness anymore.
"To the printing room," replied Olimar. "I'm hoping Mega Man can inspect the alien and come to a consensus regarding what to do with it."
"Will he agree to keep it as a pet?" asked Sonic. Samus and Olimar both exchanged looks of worry and concern for Sonic's well-being.
After finishing his Chaotix mixtape, Knuckles decided to take an "indefinite hiatus", using this time brainstorm some new ideas for his first album. This gave Little Mac more time to add the finishing touches to his mixtape, for he feels that it's not "well-furnished" quite yet. Fox and Falco sat in the recording studio, listening to Mac's bars via headphones.
"How's it going, Little Mac?" Doc Louis entered the recording studio, chewing on a chocolate bar. Typical/vintage Doc Louis right here, folks.
"Not now Doc, dude's trying to record here," Fox said to the boxing trainer. Doc didn't seem to care; he just waltzed into the recording booth while Little Mac was doing his thing, and interrupted his protege's flow.
"Dang it, man, you messed me up!" Little Mac threw a fit after Doc Louis interrupted him. He saw two chocolate bars in each of Doc's hands. "Are you seriously eating multiple chocolate bars at the same time?!"
Little Mac: When I told Doc about the money Star Records made off of Knuckles' successful mixtape, I promised to buy him an infinite amount of chocolate bars, for it would be the only way he'll allow me to stay at the record company...Now I'm starting to regret telling him about the money. Chocolate is practically the only thing he ever thinks about, aside from his birthday, and me. What does he want for Christmas every year? Chocolate. What does he want to be served at every Thanksgiving dinner? Chocolate. And what does he expect people to prank him with on April Fool's Day? Do I need to say any more?
"The more, the merrier!" Doc Louis grinned, taking a gaping bite out of one of his chocolate bars. Little Mac, Fox, and Falco all looked at the trainer with great disdain as he chewed. Must be illegal, almost inhumane, to love chocolate like this man Doc Louis does.
"Dude, you really need to stop eating abnormal amounts of chocolate, I'm sure it's not healthy," stated Falco, worried for Doc's well-being.
"Eating a lot of chocolate isn't unhealthy, it can improve your health, improve your blood flow, and lower your blood pressure! I should know, I do research on chocolate on a daily basis!"
"That only applies to dark chocolate," Fox pointed out, debunking Doc's research. The fox does research on chocolate and other sweets, though he's not as obsessed and dedicated like Doc is.
"Applies to all chocolate! Quit being such a hater!" Doc you're a grown man, you're too old to be using terms like "hater" in your language.
"Doc Fox is telling the truth, dark chocolate is the only healthy chocolate out there," stated Little Mac. But Doc Louis refused to listen to his protege.
"How dare you backtalk your trainer and life coach like that! You're dead to me! In fact, you're all dead to me! y'all don't know anything about chocolate, chocolate can solve all sorts of problems! Now if you excuse me, I'll be spending some time alone, with my lovely chocolate..."
And with that, Doc Louis stormed out of the recording studio, with the bars of chocolate in his hands. Everyone in the studio just looked on, exasperated.
"Doc's love for chocolate has to be tamed..." said Little Mac. "I can't stand to see him like this!"
Ganondorf and Captain Falcon went to the lounge, where the girl Ganondorf supposedly likes is at. Inside the lounge were three women - Palutena, Peach, and Rosalina.
"One of those three women is whom I like," Ganondorf whispered to Captain Falcon. The racer scanned each woman, making sure they fit Ganondorf's criteria - tall, stoic, long hair, and an unknown age. Peach, who is already in a relationship with Mario, doesn't fit these qualifications, so she's eliminated. Now it's down to Palutena and Rosalina - which one is it?
"Yes, I can see now..." Captain Falcon was about to come to a conclusion. "Your crush...is Palutena! But she isn't stoic though, she shows a lot of her emotions every now and then..."
"You bozo, the girl I happen to like is Rosalina! I harbor a crush on Rosalina!"
Captain Falcon looked at the Demon Lord, distraught and surprised. Were his ears deceiving him? Ganondorf and Rosalina sounds like a very odd couple, but the Demon Lord is content that it will all work out fine.
Captain Falcon: A Ganondorf-Rosalina pairing simply won't do! What if Rosalina isn't the romantic type, and refuses to return any romantic feelings to Ganondorf? That would make poor Ganon lonely and dejected inside...and I'm the only one that's supposed to feel that way!
"So you like Rosalina? I never would have guessed!" Captain Falcon said after dropping his surprised visage. You can't deny the fact that Falcon might feel pretty jealous and salty if Ganondorf is able to get along well with Rosalina, and he doesn't. "Now that you told me who your woman is, it's now time to make your move!"
"Make my move?" Ganondorf raised an eyebrow. It would be too early for the Demon Lord to confess his love to Rosalina, he needs some practice so he won't be so nervous and awkward. "Can we just practice what I should say before..."
"No time to lose! Go out there, and be a man!" Captain Falcon pushed Ganondorf outwards, and towards Rosalina. The Demon Lord soon found himself standing near the couch Rosalina is sitting in. The nerves were starting to get to Ganondorf, as sweat rushed down his face and his heart was beating faster than usual. Happens a lot when you're making your move on someone.
"Look mama, it's Ganondorf!" exclaimed Luma, who accompanies Rosalina at all times. It's his life duty. "And he looks sweatier than usual!"
"What brings you here, Ganondorf?" asked Rosalina, intrigued as to way Ganondorf is consulting her of all people. They hardly interact with one another, mind you.
"I have something...important, that I must tell you right away," Ganondorf replied nervously, as a rush of thoughts ran through his head. What if Rosalina rejects him after he tells her he loves her? How will he be able to handle a negative response, and how can he bounce right back?
"Ooh, this is very interesting," Palutena sat back in the couch she was sitting in and watched attentively. This made Ganondorf even more nervous.
"Although I'm not sure how you'll react to these words, I shall tell you anyway...I love you, and I want you to be my lover."
Rosalina held her hand to her chest with her mouth agape, unsure how to take this news in. Never has anyone ever confessed their love towards her - not Mario, not Luigi, and not even Bowser, who never had qualms about kidnapping Rosalina and taking her to his castle, expecting someone to rescue her if they can (though it would be wise for him to stop, since his plans always fail one way or another).
"Wow, I've heard heard anything like that before spoken to me..." Rosalina finally had the courage to speak. "If you wish...then I can be your girlfriend." Ganondorf eyes were bulging out of their sockets, and Palutena looked on with disgust and shock.
"Are you serious?" asked Ganondorf, surprised that the confession went a whole lot better than he expected. Rosalina nodded her head with a smile. "Great! Meet me in the gaming room later today, so we can do...romantic things. I'll explain more later on!" And with that, Ganondorf departed with a confident smirk on his face.
"You can't possibly be serious..." Palutena told Rosalina quietly. "Do you not see the person you're starting a relationship with?!"
"Ganondorf may be an evil villain, but he might have unexplored secrets and depths that nobody knows," responded Rosalina. "I just gotta know him better." Palutena is hoping that Rosalina knows what she's getting herself into...
Palutena: Got a sneaky feeling that Ganondorf has an ulterior motive up his sleeve...And no, it's not because I think he's not as romantic as he seems. Sure, Ganondorf and Rosalina may not talk to each other that much, but why did he choose this time as the time to tell Rosalina how much he loves her? Rosalina's been living at the mansion for a considerable amount of time!
Ganondorf walked towards Captain Falcon, who immediately greeted the Demon Lord with a congratulatory hug. Nobody EVER hugs Ganondorf and gets away with it, and Falcon learned that the hard way when the Demon Lord pushed him to the floor with great force.
"Don't you ever hug me again," frowned Ganondorf, folding his arms. Captain Falcon, who might have broken a bone or two, nodded his head and gave a thumbs up.
"If you need any more assistance..." the racer slowly got up, "...I'll be in the fitness center, doing usual athletic things..." He then limped away.
Meanwhile, in the fitness center, Cloud was doing aerobic exercises, such as jumping rope. When you're as athletic as Cloud, you can jump rope at a very fast pace, and that's exactly what Cloud is doing.
"Sup Cloud?" greeted Pit, accompanied with Kirby, walking towards the swordsman. Cloud did his best to hurry up his jump rope exercise, not wanting to speak to Pit. With every step Pit made towards him, Cloud jump roped even faster, enough to the point of exhaustion. Eventually he reached that point, and collapsed on the floor, losing his breath.
"Ooh wah!" Kirby walked over to Cloud and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. What a genuinely nice person, that Kirby...he's not doing it for show, is he?
"Whatever you want, please make it snappy so I can continue my exercising," stated Cloud. His jump roping was just the beginning.
"Link told me that you possess substantial romantic advice that I can apply to my relationship with Viridi," explained Pit. "I would greatly appreciate your assistance, if you're willing to help out..."
"Why is Kirby here?" The pink puffball continued to wipe Cloud's face - although all the sweat is gone. Maybe he has a forehead fetish, and likes to rub other people's foreheads, since he essentially lacks one.
"Little guy usually follows me around everywhere I go, he's the best buddy a guy could ever ask for!"
Cloud: Now why would Link honestly think I have romantic advice, I've never even been on a date before! Tifa nor Aerith (before she got killed by Sepiroth) have asked me out on a date! I would ask Tifa out myself...but things are difficult, and...um...let's just put it that way.
"Regardless of whatever Link might have told you, I don't have any 'substantial' romantic advice, though I can't help but feel you might be exaggerating," said Cloud. "But if you like, I can give you a tip. Only thing you gotta know is...whatever Viridi tells you to do, you must do at once! So if she wants you to buy the latest perfume, you better buy that perfume unless you want to make her depressed and stuff."
"Really, do I have to do stuff like that?" moaned Pit. He doesn't have the money to buy things like perfume, he already wastes it on needless candy.
"That's what great boyfriends do. Now go get her, champ!"
Ike and Mario were in Dr. Mario's office, where Mario assumed his doctor persona. Heihachi Mishima was resting on the patient bed, still incapacitated with his eyes closed.
"Can you diagnose whatever's wrong with Heihachi?" asked Ike, all panicky. The swordsman would have never expected Heihachi of all people to be in an unconscious state. Why could it have been at least someone who knows an ounce of English, Heihachi might tell Ike he needs something, and Ike won't know because he hardly knows Japanese! So many problematic issues!
"Unfortunately I can't, I'm-a not a licensed doctor!" replied Dr. Mario, sounding distressed. Ike crinkled his nose at the doctor; why does Mario assume a doctor persona when he's not really that much of a doctor to begin with, since he lacks a license?!
"Hey, Dr. Mario!" Toon Link walked into Dr. Mario's room, holding some medical records. These records come from Doctor Toadley, the doctor who wears a face veil in his profession for reasons unknown. "Can you verify these records for me? Also, what's wrong with Heihachi, he doesn't look that good..."
Toon Link: Reason why I came to see Dr. Mario is because these reports from Doctor Toadley seem bogus. He answers everything in questions - *holds doctor report up to camera* "What is the patient's name? Toon Link." "What is the patient's sex? Male." "What is the patient's Social Security number?" Yeah, like I'm gonna say that one out loud...and now that I think of it... *quickly retracts report from camera*
"Heihachi's just-a fine!" assured Dr. Mario, clearly bluffing. "..Isn't that right, Heihachi?"
"Um, yeah, I'm feeling alright, just got my eyes closed," replied Heihachi...except that it wasn't Heihachi. Rather, it was Ike, who's hiding beneath the patient bed, speaking in a heavy voice and moving the kung fu fighter's limbs to convey that he's capacitated. Only time will tell if Toon Link can buy into this.
"Wow Heihachi, I had no idea you're able to speak English!" exclaimed Toon Link. Kid can't be this gullible, Heihachi hasn't spoke a single English word a day in his life, and evidently he doesn't plan on doing so anytime soon.
"Ike has been giving me English lessons, and he has been a great teacher so far!" Ike tried to make Heihachi's hand do a thumbs up, but if he does that, he would have to form that hand signal by using his own hands, and Toon Link can't see the swordsman's hands, otherwise the cover will be blown.
"That's odd, usually Takamaru is the only person taking English lessons from Ike..."
"Ike teaches me during nighttime hours, past midnight, for I learn much better past twelve o'clock!" Hasn't been proven yet, since nobody wouldn't want to be learning at a very late time like that, but it can be possible.
"But Ike is in the bed after twelve o'clock, sometimes he goes to bed even earlier to 're-energize' himself."
"Oh, that's um...that's a ghost you must be referring to! A humanoid ghost that looks exactly like Ike! He sleeps in Ike's bed, keeping it relatively warm until the swordsman is ready to hit the sack!" What was Ike thinking there, nobody wants to sleep in a warm bed - unless it's cold outside.
"See-a kiddo, Heihachi is just-a fine!" assured Dr. Mario, but Toon Link had some suspicions. The young Hylian inched towards Heihachi, until Dr. Mario stopped him in his tracks. "Heihachi doesn't want anyone near-a him, he needs his-a beauty sleep!"
"But he was talking to me a few seconds ago." Nice going, Dr. Mario, now Toon Link will see through the facade. Way to screw things up!
"I was sleeping for five seconds, but now I'm awake!" exclaimed Heihachi...erm, Ike. The kung fu fighter's eyes were not open, will Toon Link see through this? Evidently he did, as he zipped past Dr. Mario and to the patient bed, where he found Ike hiding and controlling Heihachi's arm movements. "Gah, you found me!" the swordsman frowned, sporting his regular voice, after his cover was blown.
"Alright, can somebody please explain to me what's going on?!" asked Toon Link, tired of being duped.
"Long story short, Heihachi was in the gaming room, and he collapsed, and we were figuring out what to do to bring him back to his senses." Toon Link nodded his head as he digest this information. Will he berate Dr. Mario and Ike for not rescuing Heihachi already, or will he help them out?
"I think I know how to wake up Heihachi, it's a product Snake uses," replied Toon Link. So he wants to help them...not a bad choice. "Just follow me!"
Ike: Toon Link hopefully knows what he's doing, using stuff from Snake seems very untrustworthy. He owns a lot of dangerous stuff, like grenades, rocket launchers, missiles, and the all-time worst, a Kevin Federline CD. May sound harmless, but when you blast the songs through loudspeakers, it's absolute, endless torture. Pinning John Cena in a wrestling match was the only positive thing in that dude's career...
Speaking of Snake, the former FOXHOUND agent (must that agency name always be capitalized?) is helping Little Mac, Fox, and Falco curb Doc Louis' abnormal and inhumane obsession with chocolate. The four were hiding in the cafe, in a spot where they cannot be seen by human eyes, and they had a trap laid out. A chocolate bar is lying in the center of the cafe, and above it was a cage that is meant to entrap Doc.
"When that fatso Doc Louis grabs the chocolate bar - which is actually a granola bar disguised in a chocolate bar wrapper - Fox will lower the cage and trap him inside," explained Snake, the master of sneaky tactics. He mapped this potential trap out vigorously, using individuals like Toad and Villager as "test dummies" in the basement. Thank goodness the tests were prototypes; getting Toad and Villager out of the cage was a real struggle. "Then we'll let him out, but only if he signs this document, vowing to eat chocolate only once a day!" Snake held up a document that had a lot of words and whatnot, despite the terms being slightly minimal.
"What if Doc Louis dejects the document, and goes full psycho?" asked Falco. There always has to be a solid backup plan, for situations like Doc Louis going ham.
"Good question - you'll serve as the guy that gets beat up by Doc!"
Falco clearly didn't agree with his role, as he folded his arms in disgust. Hey, any role is better than having no role at all.
It was now time for the men to initiate their trap, as a person entered the cafe. All they heard was footsteps, since they are unable to see who this person is from where they are hiding. Footsteps were heard, and when the sound of a granola bar being unwrapped was heard...Fox lowered the cage.
"Think we got him!" the fox exclaimed as he arose from the hiding spot - and found Greninja stuck in the cage, eating the granola bar in peace. No wonder it was so quiet in the cafe, it was only Greninja. Ninjas make little to no sound at all, it's a very important protocol especially when performing sneak attacks on unsuspecting people.
After the first attempt failed miserably, the four had to try out their trap for a second time. Footsteps were heard in the cafe, and these footsteps were louder than the ones made by Greninja. Then a loud yawn.
"That has to be Doc Louis, only he yawns loudly like that!" exclaimed Little Mac. You know you spend too much time with your boxing trainer when you're able to distinguish how loud his yawns are.
Fox: Little Mac knows how loudly Doc Louis can yawn. If that's not creepy, then I don't know what is.
More footsteps, and the sound of a candy bar wrapper unraveling. Fox lowered the cage, and looked up to see if he nabbed Doc Louis. Instead, he got Shulk, who's really feeling it thanks to the granola bar.
"Thanks for the lovely granola bar, Fox!" thanked Shulk, who saw the Fox frowning in failure. Good thing Snake has more granola bars at his disposal...
The trap was set up again for the third time. It has to work for the four now - three strikes, and they're out!
"Well, I'd be, a conspicuous chocolate bar lying in the cafe, just dying for someone to eat it!" uttered a familiar voice. "Today must be my lucky day!" Judging by the voice, it sounds an awful lot like...
"...Doc Louis!" exclaimed Falco. Their plan can't possibly fail now. "He just needs to pick up that granola bar and..."
"Hey guys!" Isabelle greeted the men from behind, particularly Fox and Falco. They all jumped up and screamed, albeit softly, so they wouldn't blow their cover. Think of it as screaming, but in a library.
"Oh hi Isabelle, surprised to see you here, what brings you here?" asked Fox, chuckling nervously. How did Isabelle manage to find him and the others?
"Just wanted to ask you and Falco a question...about the glucose monitoring system you bought for me last week. Why did you buy it in the first place?"
"Let's just say that...we wanted to own up to you for trying to invade your privacy and stuff," explained Falco. The Star Fox pilots certainly learned their lesson after that episode. "Our persistence to learn about your secrets kinda snowballed from there, and we eventually learned about your diabetes. So, to own up to our mistakes, we bought you the glucose monitoring system, under the suggestion of Ryu. Only reason we went bonkers is that we used the money from Star Records to buy the device, and since we're stuck on how to spend the money, it's all for naught..."
"You guys didn't have to buy that glucose thingy, I wouldn't really needed it anyways. And as for the money...why not contribute it to Luigi's wedding?"
Isabelle: When I was going over the wedding budget with Mario and Luigi, Luigi apparently wanted a budget of around $30 to $35 million, to "compensate the guests and venue"...like I told him before, he is NOT Prince William! Granted he may or may not become the prince of Sarasaland when he marries Daisy, but as of right now, he's just a regular bum, and nowhere close to a prince!
(Geno, who was eavesdropping on Isabelle's talking head segment, quickly scurries away unseen)
"Yeah, that seems like a really good idea, haven't really thought of that," nodded Fox. Luigi's wedding could really use some financial backing - although $30 to $35 million is COMPLETELY out of the question.
"That's good and all, but...have you men forgotten about why we're here?!" questioned Snake. Little Mac looked up from the hiding spot, and frowned when he saw that Doc Louis and the granola bar was nowhere to be found.
"Dang it, we missed our golden opportunity!" Mac would snap his fingers in bitter disgust, but you can't do that wearing boxing gloves. Why does he insist on wearing them anyways?
"Nice going Isabelle, you ruined our plan...how will we ever curb Doc Louis' chocolate obsession now?"
"Don't you have any ayurverdic herbs that might regulate his obsession?" inquired Isabelle, garnering a glare from Snake. The former spy thought he hid the herbs from everyone, but evidently he didn't do such a great job at doing so.
"I might have some left in my cabinet..." Snake stroked his chin, musing over whether or not these ayurverdic herbs - mainly used for stopping addictions, especially smoking addictions - should be used. "We might as well use them, it's not like we have no other choice..."
Sonic, Olimar, and Samus were in the computer room, where Mega Man was inspecting the package containing the alien sent from Hocotate Freight.
"Dude, you've been checking out the package for who knows how long, when are you gonna open it?!" frowned an impatient Sonic. He's dying to keep the alien as a pet, regardless of its type of species and overall safety.
"I'm waiting to see if it will unleash out of the package and attack us," explained Mega Man. The robot has been using the same old excuse a gazillion times already.
Samus: Personally, I think Mega Man is buying himself some time so he can send that alien to Dr. Light. That smart-aleck beardo is gonna "upgrade" the alien, just like he did with that extraterrestrial robot Duo, and eventually it will be a pawn of Dr. Light - just like every freaking Robot Master that man has in his disposal to take up an incredible amount of his spare time.
Sonic: Got something to let off of my chest...Dr. Light is the biggest loner in human history! What grown man wants to spend his entire day with some girly robot doing his chores for him? Where the heck is that dude's girlfriend, and why hasn't she shown up yet?!
"Now should be the perfect time to open up the package, nothing has happened yet," announced Mega Man, much to the relief of Sonic, Olimar, and Samus. The robot cut the package open with the use of Metal Blade, and out popped the alien...
...the alien by the name of Deoxys. The DNA Pokemon rose up, and everyone feared for the worst...everyone except for Sonic, who was unusually giddy in this situation.
"Aw yeah, Deoxys would make for a great pet!" the hedgehog rubbed his hands together. Clearly he is not aware of what the DNA Pokemon is capable of.
"This Pokemon wrecked havoc in the Hoenn region, and you want to keep him as a PET?!" questioned Olimar, in utter disbelief.
"Ugh, what is it with you people basing things off of movies? Deoxys is a changed Pokemon; it has learned from its mistakes, and is willing to correct the wrongs it has previously made! And besides, there are many different Deoxys, and the one in Hoenn was a violent one. Maybe this Deoxys is relatively peaceful!"
Deoxys escaped via Charge Beam, using the electric-type move on a wall, leaving behind a gaping hole and going through said hole. The brawlers better watch out for Deoxys!
"See what I mean?" Sonic said to the three, who were still peeved off at his suggestion of keeping Deoxys as a pet. "If it was a truly violent Pokemon, it would have blown up the mansion in a snap!"
"This is not good, a legendary Pokemon other than Mewtwo is in the mansion, and could be wrecking havoc!" panicked Mega Man. Like most legendary and pseudo-legendary Pokemon, Deoxys has a whopping base stat of 600, and a base stat like that easily makes you a deadly Pokemon. "If Master Hand finds out..."
"Find out about what?" said a majestic voice from behind. That voice obviously belonged to Master Hand, who scared the crap out of Mega Man and the others.
"We didn't want you to...find out about this giant hole in the computer room!" replied Olimar, referring to the hole in the room and downplaying Deoxys' presence.
"Oh well, nothing like a hard job for Mr. Game & Watch to do...anyways, I just returned from my visit to Crazy Hand's residence on early notice, he has become too insane for me to stay any longer."
Master Hand: Crazy Hand's house...was a jumbled mess. The guest room was cluttered, the wallpaper was tearing off the walls, and worst of all, there was a washing machine and a dryer in the stinking kitchen! Why does Crazy Hand even need that for?!
"So Sonic, are you ready for some more hand massaging?" Master Hand asked the hedgehog. Only two more weeks until Sonic fulfills his duties.
"I would massage your hand, but um..." Sonic struggled to come up with an excuse. "I gotta help Olimar...return this package to Hocotate Freight!"
"Why would you want to return an empty package?" Master Hand saw that the box was open. Samus, Olimar, and Mega Man all facepalmed at Sonic's lousy excuse, which may eventually lead to even more questions.
"Hocotate Freight may be running out of boxes, and so we have to return them in order to counter a possible lack of boxes for delivering!" Way to turn a negative excuse into a positive one, Sonic. Now if only he can keep it up...
"I don't mind if I ask, but what was in the box anyway?"
"...A digital microwave!" Samus blurted out before Sonic could say anything. "We're planning on saving it for Luigi's wedding as a wedding gift, isn't that right boys?" The three dudes nodded their heads nervously.
"Hocotate Freight delivers appliances such as digital microwaves? Hmm...I should order an appliance right away!"
Rosalina: Ganondorf told me to meet him in the gaming room, and honestly I feeling quite nervous...after all, Ganondorf is still technically evil, unless he might be turning over a new leaf...
Luma: Don't worry mama, if Ganondorf lays a single finger on you, I'll kick his sorry butt!
Rosalina: Now, now, I don't believe we have a designated hospital for Lumas like yourself...no offense intended.
Rosalina arrived at the gaming room, and found Ganondorf sitting coolly on the couch, with his arm resting on said couch to project himself as a cool person, when in reality he's far from cool...just kidding.
"You finally made it," said the Demon Lord as Rosalina took a seat next to him. He was trying his best to maintain his composure. "So are you looking forward to having a great time?"
"I'm always looking forward to that," replied Rosalina. What would soon follow afterwards would be some small talk. It hasn't even been five minutes yet, and it seems like this get-together is primed for awkwardness. This is what happens when you don't converse with one another that often.
Elsewhere in the gaming room, K.K. Slider was playing his guitar, and Jigglypuff provided vocal accompaniment, per usual. Also present in the room were Pit and Viridi, who were hanging out just like what many lovebirds do. Viridi was all smiles, glad that she can continue her relationship with Pit. The angel is still relearning this whole relationship thing; it's a gradual process that he'll eventually get the hang of.
"Is there anything I can get or do for you?" he asked Viridi, following back on Cloud's minimal advice.
"You still owe me a song!" replied Viridi. Pit gulped - his singing prowess is not the best, but it's worth a shot. What can possibly go wrong?
"'Cause all of me, loves all of you, loves your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections...'" Pit sang this famous John Legend song, albeit scratchy and totally out-of-tune - bad enough to garner the attention of everyone in the gaming room. K.K. Slider and Jigglypuff both stopped performing. "So how did I do? Great singing, huh?" Thank goodness American Idol is over, because if he ever auditioned, he would be an absolute flop.
"What in the world..." K.K. shook his head at Pit. His ears are still trying to digest the atrocity they just heard.
"Wow Pit, you sound like a sad drunk billy goat crying for his mother to come back," remarked Gil, who was playing disc hockey with Young Link.
"Can you please put us out of our misery and stop singing?" implored Young Link. His ears couldn't bear to hear any more of Pit's singing.
"Don't listen to them Pitty, they're just jealous!" assured Viridi. Sometimes love can make you delusional, such as was the case with Viridi just now.
Hunched from the doorway was Captain Falcon (watching Ganondorf with Rosalina) and Cloud (Pit with Viridi), observing the two individuals they were observing and making sure they don't screw things up.
Captain Falcon: Ganondorf is getting nowhere with Rosalina! Small talk isn't going to keep his relationship going!
Cloud: And Pit looks uncomfortable with Viridi. Don't think he's cut out yet for love, still has much to learn...
Captain Falcon: Why did Ganondorf consult me of all people, I can't snag a single lady in my stinking life!
Cloud: You think that's bad, Aerith could have asked me out on a date if it wasn't for that scumbag Sephiroth killing her.
Captain Falcon: By the time I finally go on a date, I'll be an old, wrinkly man in hospice care!
Cloud: Why am I even talking with you...?
"Cloud, Falcon, are you two available?" Tails ran up to the two, clearly in a hurry. His face was sweaty, like he was running a marathon and he was restricted from using his tails for flight, for that would be cheating. "A legendary Pokemon has been released in the Smash Mansion, and he's causing a whole lot of trouble!"
"That's Mewtwo's problem, not ours," replied Cloud, not wanting to get himself involve in Deoxys' matters. "He's a legendary Pokemon too, he can reason with Deoxys and expel him from the mansion."
"Mewtwo can't do it all by himself! And besides, Zelda, Peach, and Lucina are in grave danger! Deoxys has them in his possession!"
"In that case, we must save them from the clutch of that wretched Pokemon!" proclaimed Captain Falcon. When any woman is in dire trouble, the racer is always on the move. Shows you how much he cares about women, even though women don't care for him. "Let's go!" He grabbed Cloud's and Tails' hands, and ran off to action.
"The things I have to do around here..." Cloud groaned as he was taken to wherever Deoxys was against his will. His times of relaxing at the mansion, which he values considerably, are very, very limited.
Dr. Mario, Ike, and Toon Link arrived at Snake's room. Ike threw Heihachi on Snake's bed as Toon rummaged through the former spy's cabinet for the product that can bring Heihachi back to his senses.
"Ever heard of anything about valuing one's privacy?" asked Bayonetta, Snake's apparent roommate. The Umbra Witch was lying seductively on her bed, reading a beauty magazine. She acts and poses seductively doing the littlest things!
"Heihachi is unconscious, and we need something to regain his consciousness!" responded Toon Link. Eventually he found what he was looking for - ayurverdic herbs. He stuffed some in his pocket, and the men ran off...
"Your lover Peach is in trouble, she's being held hostage by a Pokemon by the name of Deoxys," Bayonetta told Dr. Mario, stopping the men in their tracks. "I would say she's in dire need of your help..."
Bayonetta: I would go to Deoxys and save Mario's precious Peach, but I feel that the plumber can get the job done. He's been in this situation many times before, it's almost clockwork for him...
"Peach is-a in trouble?!" panicked Dr. Mario. He ripped off his doctor get-up, revealing his plumber attire (he seriously wears that underneath his lab coat?!), and putting on his classic plumber's hat. "You boys stay here and get Heihachi back to his senses, I'll go rescue my woman!"
"Heard ya loud and clear!" Ike gave Mario a thumbs up as the plumber went to go save his woman. A few moments later, the group of Fox, Falco, Little Mac, Snake, and Isabelle arrived, and saw Toon Link and Ike stuffing ayurverdic herbs down Heihachi's throat. Seems almost as if they're purposely attempting to choke the kung fu fighter.
"You're doing it wrong," Snake shook his head, kneeling down at Heihachi's side and grabbing a few herbs. "You're supposed to make Heihachi chew by moving his mouth to make a chewing motion. Whatever the heck you were doing is not effective by any means!"
"A B-grade medic is what you're making yourself out to be?" Bayonetta smirked, resting the palm of her hand on the bottom of her chin, as she watched Snake do her thing. Needless to say, the old geezer (no offense) was agitated by the Umbra Witch's comments.
"Shut yer trap, lady..." grumbled Snake. He grabbed a few ayurverdic herbs, and gave them to Fox and company. "Make sure Doc eats these, his chocolate addiction has to be curbed immediately."
"Will do!" Fox nodded his head as he and the group departed. But where could Doc Louis be?
Link had just finished up the last of the wedding invitations when there was a knock at the door. He opened it, and saw Doc Louis, exasperated.
"Let me guess, somebody stole your chocolate?" assumed Link. Usually someone has to pay (cash, credit, or just for accepting consequences) when Doc's chocolate goes missing.
"Your girl is held under hostage by Deoxys!" replied the boxing trainer. Link's eyes lit up in shock and fear. "She's in the ballroom, where Deoxys is trying to mess with the wedding cake!"
"Whaddaya mean, you no longer sell kitchen appliances?!" Master Hand boomed into the phone, held by Dark Pit. Given the hand's majestic voice, whoever is on the receiver will most likely have busted eardrums.
"Last time we sold appliances, we got sued by a person who dared to put his long hair into cake batter inside a mixer," replied the person on the phone, a representative from Hocotate Freight. "So until further notice..."
"Hang up the phone!" commanded Master Hand, and Dark Pit did just that. Hocotate Freight doesn't sell appliances anymore? What is this sorcery?!
"Master Hand, we got some big trouble!" Donkey Kong confronted the giant hand, in a hurry just like Doc Louis. "Deoxys is in the mansion as I speak!"
"Pfft, a Pokemon like Deoxys can't be that big of a deal," scoffed Dark Pit. "...can it?"
Ness: So here we are in the ballroom, Deoxys has Peach, Zelda, and Lucina in its grasp, and refuses to release them until it tastes the wedding cake Marth is supposed to be guarding. And if it doesn't get its wish, it'll threaten to kill off the three ladies and pretty much anyone else it can use as hostages. Mewtwo is reasoning with Deoxys, and Pikachu and Pichu are keeping the Pokemon at bay in the event he does something stupid, which can happen at any minute...
Master Hand, Dark Pit, and Donkey Kong arrived at the ballroom, where many brawlers, including Marth, Sonic, Olimar, Samus, Mega Man, Captain Falcon, Cloud, Tails, Proto Man, Pikachu, Pichu, Mewtwo, Ness, Lucas, and many others, were present.
"What in the name of Masahiro Sakurai is going on here?!" boomed Master Hand, his frustration never more apparent than it is now - so apparent that he had to use the Super Smash Bros' creator's name.
"Apparently Deoxys wants to eat the cake," Mewtwo explained to the giant hand. The DNA Pokemon muttered some unintelligible alien language that Mewtwo is able to decipher. "It claims it detected the pastry when it first arrived in the mansion via package. Only way it will release the girls is if it's allowed to consume the cake..."
"Who is that thing trying to kid, it doesn't even have a mouth!" But it can consume all kinds of potions and supplements if it has to.
Soon Mario arrived, and saw his woman Peach in Deoxys' grasp, trying to pry her way out. But nothing she did was able to do anything.
"I'm coming to save-a you, Peach!" Mario proclaimed, running past everyone and to Deoxys...only to get repelled by Psychic and thrust into a wall, being slammed against it hard.
"Mario, are you okay?!" shrieked Peach. Mario, though he was down, slowly gave a thumbs up. Link entered the ballroom, with Doc Louis tagging along. He saw Deoxys with his woman, and unsheathed his sword.
"Let her go this instant!" the Hylian came running towards the DNA Pokemon, only to suffer the same fate as Mario - thrust against a wall.
"Not my dear Link!" fretted Zelda, seeing her man dazed and confused from the impact. Then Chrom entered the ballroom, and saw Lucina...you probably know what's gonna happen, do you?
"Gaaaaaah!" the prince screamed as he...well, since Deoxys knew what Chrom was gonna do, he sent the prince flying to the wall. So predictable...
"Oh, father..." Lucina facepalmed and shook her head at Chrom.
Sonic: And everyone feared that Deoxys would be violent...you call throwing people against a wall violent? I used to do it to Toad all the time, until he got severe bruises over his body and had to be taken to the emergency room. What's worse than that is that I got punished for "harming" Toad. Like it's supposed to be my fault the dude's fragile!
"Just give it up Deoxys, you'll never have the cake!" Marth said defiantly. (Luigi would be helping out the Hero-King, but apparently he's afraid of Deoxys.) Seeing this response as an incentive to ante up the stakes, Deoxys warped away to capture more hostages, and came back with the new hostages in his tentacle arms - Rosalina, Viridi...and K.K. Slider? Must have grabbed him by mistake instead of Jigglypuff.
"This is not groovy, not groovy at all!" the dog panicked, not only being held hostage by Deoxys, but being also the only male captured. "But I will admit, the view from up here is outtasight!"
"Where is Pit?" panicked Viridi, unable to spend more than a single minute without Pit (on most occasions). "Release us at once, you vermin!"
"Now Viridi, you don't want to call Deoxys names, he might kill us in cold blood..." advised Rosalina. Deoxys ascended higher, high to the ceiling - falling from here would result in instant death.
"Mario and Link are down for the count, and Deoxys is at an altitude where he cannot be reached by any means..." Master Hand analyzed the situation. "Who is going to come here and save the day?"
"Anata no basho o shitte iru, anata wa, pokemon no hisan!"
In came a rejuvenated Heihachi Mishima, who came running towards Deoxys. Suddenly the unimaginable happened - the kung fu fighter rose up to Deoxys' level, and punched in square in the face. Snake, Toon Link, and Ike were standing by the ballroom doorway when this transpired.
Snake: Funny thing about ayurverdic herbs...the herbs that I possess are not normal herbs. In addition to stopping addictions, the herbs can also bring back consciousness, and even grant you the ability to jump at high altitudes! Unfortunately I can't get such perks, due to accelerated age...I seriously hate my life.
The DNA Pokemon came crashing towards the floor, releasing the ladies...and K.K. Slider, from his grasp. Who will save them?
"I'm on it!" Donkey Kong rushed to action, grabbing Peach, Zelda, and Lucina one by one. Viridi and K.K. Slider were still falling...until Pit flew right by and grabbed the two.
"Duty always calls!" the angel remarked. Something in his mind told him that his love was taken to the ballroom, and that's when he sprung to action.
"My hero!" Viridi gave Pit a kiss on the cheek, making him blush. K.K. would commend the angel's heroic efforts with a salute.
But what about Rosalina? She was still falling, screaming in horror as she was nearing the hardwood floor...until she landed in the arms of a certain demon lord by the name of...
"...Ganondorf," Rosalina looked at the Gerudo in slight disbelief. Ganondorf had followed Pit to the ballroom. "You saved me..."
Captain Falcon: Why couldn't I save Rosalina, why did it have to be Ganondorf?! Life is so unfair...
Cloud: *folds his arms* Keep on crying...
"Just doing my job," Ganondorf smiled as he gently placed Rosalina on the ground. She was then reunited with Luma, who popped out of nowhere and embraced Rosalina, who smiled as she petted her. Ganondorf looked towards Deoxys lying on the floor a few inches away from the cake. "Pokemon such as Deoxys certainly don't belong here..."
"Deoxys is defeated, this calls for a victory snack!" Doc Louis dug into his pocket, and pulled out a chocolate bar. But before he could pull off the wrapper and eat it...
"Doc Louis, just the guy we needed to see!" Fox rushed inside the ballroom, accompanied with Falco, Little Mac, and Isabelle. He held out an ayurverdic herb to the boxing trainer, and Doc looked at the herb all funny. "Eat this, trust me it tastes just like chocolate!"
"I see what you're trying to do, you're trying to kill off my love for chocolate! Well I'll tell you something..."
"Pichu!" Pichu squealed, indicating that something bad was transpiring.
"Deoxys is nearing the cake!" Lucas announced, as the DNA Pokemon made its way towards the wedding cake, inch my inch. Doc Louis looked at his chocolate bar, then at Deoxys, then at his chocolate bar, then at Deoxys, then at his chocolate bar...when is he gonna make a decision already?!
"Hey Deoxys, stop right there!" he told the DNA Pokemon; Deoxys did as it was told as it looked up at Doc Louis, who was talking towards it. "I know what you want, you want some sweets to ease your aching loneliness, is that correct?" Deoxys nodded its head. "Why not have my chocolate bar, it's just as sweet as that cake!"
Doc offered the chocolate bar to Deoxys, and the DNA Pokemon accepted it and ate it; how it was able to remains to be seen. After consuming the entire bar, Deoxys seemed to look...rather happy. Rarely does it feel that way.
"Told y'all chocolate can solve problems," Doc Louis glanced at Fox and company. Deoxys rose up from the floor, fully capacitated and well, and muttered some alien language for Mewtwo to translate.
"Deoxys want to say it's sorry for all the trouble it caused, and wants to extend thanks to Doc Louis for giving it the gift of chocolate," deciphered the Psychic Pokemon. "It also wants Olimar to write a letter to Hocotate Freight, demanding that they stop capturing aliens and sending them to employees. That is it's only wish."
Olimar: The President of Hocotate Freight is going to be hearing a lot from me in the letter...not only does he mistreat employees like myself, he also mistreats aliens by capturing them against his will! And he wonders why the company's appliance vector went out of business...though it wasn't necessarily the company's fault to begin with.
Deoxys flew up out of the mansion, rising towards the ceiling and breaking through it, leaving behind a hole.
"Kare ga zokushite iru basho deokishisu ga kūkan ni tomaru koto o negatte imasu," Heihachi remarked as the brawlers watched the DNA Pokemon make its ascent back into space.
"He would have made for a really great pet..." Sonic sighed as he shook his head, thinking of what could have been. Everyone rolled their eyes at the hedgehog for his screwed up rationale.
At the fitness center, Mario, Link and Chrom - accompanied by Peach, Zelda, and Lucina, respectively - were lying in beds, recuperating from the injuries they sustained from Deoxys. The injuries were slightly minor, but each man had to be tended to by the Wii Fit Trainer, their de facto nurse.
"I'll be back with some painkillers!" the trainer told her patients as she departed. Link laid against his pillow, , relaxing after a hard day's work.
"So did you finish all the wedding invitations?" Zelda asked the Hylian.
"Sure did, took a lot shorter than I expected," replied Link. Luigi's wedding has a grand total of over 100 guests, save for the brawlers, and Link was able to finish the invitations without breaking a sweat.
"I'm glad that the wedding cake hasn't been tampered by Deoxys. It was also sweet of you to come in and save me, although your attempt was fruitless."
"My attempt to save-a Peach was better, at least I got-a closer to Deoxys!" bragged Mario, even though he had nothing to brag about.
"Silly Mario, just because you got closer to Deoxys doesn't mean anything, what matters is that you were heroic when you needed to!" smiled Peach. Must be grateful to have an awesome dude like Mario as your boyfriend.
"Speaking of heroics, did anyone see Ganondorf save Rosalina's life back there?" asked Chrom. "What was that all about?"
"Not sure if any you are aware about this, but Ganondorf and Rosalina are kinda...an item," replied Lucina, saying the last part nervously and wearily. Everyone except for Lucina exchanged weird glances with one another, as Lucina bit her lip.
Peach: Never would I imagine Ganondorf to be in love...and with Rosalina, of all people...opposites attract, am I right?
While she was searching for painkillers in the fitness center, she saw Ganondorf and Rosalina, quietly discussing with one another. She stayed behind, eavesdropping on the discussion.
"Are you sure you want to keep the relationship going?" asked Ganondorf. Rosalina held her head down, unsure of what to say to the Demon Lord. Her words can make or break Ganondorf's chances at love.
"As of right now...I'm not really sure, especially considering what the others may think of us," Rosalina replied. "But someday down the road, we can reunite and pick right up from where we left off...though where we left off is quite small."
"I'm perfectly fine with that, what matters the most is that you're content. Well, I guess I'll be seeing you around..."
"Yeah, same here..." And with that, Ganondorf and Rosalina both went their separate ways. Wii Fit Trainer simply shook her head.
"Seems like everyone is falling in love around here..." she muttered under her breath as she continued her search. Who knows, Wii Fit Trainer, maybe you might fall in love one day.