Author's Note:
This installment of Smash Life contains some spoilers - Super Paper Mario spoilers, that is. You have been warned...
Oh, and I have this review to answer from Glamorous Cat, who may not be Glamorous Cat anymore...
"Decided to change my name since it was originally Glamorous-cat. What do you think?"
I think that's a stellar name - it sounds somewhat original, and originality is the key to success (maybe not in life, but in other things for sure).
Episode 33: Dimensions Part 1
Suppose you want to clean around your house, and you want a place to keep some of your more old, unwanted, and presumably useless mostly useful stuff at. You could take the high road and sell this type of stuff at a garage sale and make a quick buck, but if you truly value your memories, that wouldn't be the most wisest thing to do.
Or say, for instance, you want to make more space in your home, and the only way to do that is by having someone move out of their bedroom. Where do they go, where should they go to sleep? The dining room? Nah. The living room? Way too big. The kitchen? If you can stick a bed inside a kitchen without causing any trouble - short-term or long-term - then you're a freaking wizard.
There is only one solution to these practical problems, and the solution is one measly room you can find underneath the roof of your house (if you even have a roof to begin with) and it's called...the attic. The Smash Mansion has an attic, and only Mario and Master Hand were the only two that knew about it at the time - once Toon Link and Takamaru discovered this room, the word soon spread, and now everyone knows where the attic is (much to the chagrin of Master Hand, for whatever reason).
In this attic, the brawlers found a bunch of things they thought were missing, but instead were filling up with dust in this very room. Mario found the blood pressure machine he used to have under his Dr. Mario persona. Dunban found his eyepatch, which he only uses for "special occasions". And Ganondorf found...a pair of denchers. Truth be told, he only got these denchers so he can be fully prepared once he becomes an elderly Gerudo. It's best to get the necessary senior citizen tools required, before you gain dementia due to old age and forget every little thing.
And now it's time for Ness and Lucas to take a look-see inside the attic, and see what stuff of theirs Master Hand stored inside. They waited patiently near the ladder to the attic - built by yours truly, Mr. Game and Watch - as Captain Falcon climbed down, carrying a George Foreman grill in his arm.
"Hope you kids love some juicy sirlon steak!" Captain Falcon told Ness and Lucas after he finished climbing down the ladder. Can someone tell this dude that Ness and Lucas are teenagers? This is one of the two most forgettable things concerning the brawlers, the other thing being Marth's martial status. "I'll be grilling with this bad boy all weekend long!"
Captain Falcon: Been a good while since I last used this bad boy... *pats his George Foreman grill* Had I found my grill earlier, I could have saved everyone from eating Luigi's horrid awful hamburgers, those patties looked like a bunch of monstrosities...poor Villager even got attacked by one...
"Let's see what crud is up here that belongs to us," Ness climbed up the ladder, and Lucas climbed up after his best friend. The two arrived in the attic, and looked about, amazed at some of the belongings stored. However, one particular item caught the teenagers' eye - the Paper Mario storybook, sitting atop a desk.
"This book sure does look interesting!" Lucas remarked, making his way towards the desk - only to be stopped in his tracks by Mewtwo, who teleported in front of the PSI whiz with his arms folded. "Aw, come on, Mewtwo, what gives?!"
"The book you see before you is not meant for your eyes, or anyone else's," stated Mewtwo. "Only exceptions to this rule are Mario, Luigi, Toad, Bowser, and his only biological son, Bowser Jr." Seems fair, since the individuals Mewtwo mentioned are the only ones familiar with the storybook, as their paper counterparts are featured in the mystical book of sorts.
"What if I have a paper counterpart in that book, I wanna see for myself!" Lucas attempt to sneak past Mewtwo, but Mewtwo, being the Psychic-type Pokemon he is, was always one step ahead of the curve, blocking Lucas' many attempts to get past him. After his attempts all failed, Lucas finally gave up. "Dang Mewtwo, you're way too good for me..."
"Well they don't call me the strongest Psychic-type Pokemon for nothing, what did you expect," Mewtwo cockily smirked. Mewtwo, the strongest Psychic-type Pokemon? To be fair, he does have a point, being tied with Lugia for the highest base stat total out of all Psychic types.
"Yo, Lucas, get down here, there's nothing up in the attic for us to see," Ness called out to his friend from the bottom of the ladder. Seeing that he nor Lucas had anything of theirs in the attic, Ness evidently decided to leave the attic for good.
"I'll be seeing you around," Lucas gave these parting words to Mewtwo as the young boy - um, teen - exited the attic through the ladder. Mewtwo smirked and turned around to face the desk - only to see that the Paper Mario storybook was gone! Did it disappear, or did it vanish, or did it do both? (Kinda impossible, since they both mean the same thing.)
"The storybook, it's gone!" Mewtwo panicked, wondering what Mario and the others would think of him. "How could it have disappeared like that?! Unless a certain someone might have stolen it..."
Ness and Lucas made their way back to their room - with Ness holding the Paper Mario storybook in his arm. With Lucas keeping Mewtwo occupied, the baseball cap-wearing PSI whiz managed to snatch the storybook, without being detected. Popple the Shadow Thief would be real proud of this fine, young lad.
Ness: Obviously the storybook appears to be very powerful, especially if Master Hand stored it in the attic where no one would bother finding it and reading it. Still, a book that tells every story in the Paper Mario universe has a great ton of intrigue.
Once inside their room, Ness and Lucas looked through the storybook, taking hold of all the characters inside. Lucas happened to touch a particular picture - a picture of Goombella, a second-year student at the University of Goom - and just like that, the female Goomba sprung up out of the storybook like magic.
"Where the heck am I?" the goomba analyzed her surroundings as Ness and Lucas both looked on, starstruck as ever. "And who the heck are you guys, and why are you looking at me like I'm crazy or something?" Goombella then asked the two starstruck teenagers.
"H-How did you come out of the storybook like that?!" questioned Ness, still in utter disbelief. "My friend just touched a picture of you...and there you are!"
"Maybe it's because that storybook there is magical, genius." Even in the real world, Goombella still packs a ton of sass and spunk. It's the most defining trait of her personality, it makes her endearing to Paper Mario fans everywhere. "Why don't you knock yourselves out, and touch more pictures and see what happens!"
And so that's exactly what Ness and Lucas did, flipping through the pages of the storybook and touching every character in sight. Some of the characters they brought to life included the following - Francis, the socially awkward otaku who apparently owns a fort by himself; Bombette, the pink bomb who can explode at will; Doopliss, a ghost that not only can steal bodies, but also has the ability to take the letter "P" out of his name; Squirps, an absolutely annoying alien who is lowkey a prince of a space kingdom; and Tutankoopa, a koopa with a known pharaoh complex. His status as a ghost is debated to this very day.
"Squirps feels so ALIVE!" Squirps exclaimed after realizing he was out of the storybook. "Though Squirps misses the wonders of space, squoorp."
"Alright, you are all free, go out there and enjoy your freedom!" commanded Ness, and the Paper Mario characters did as they were told, heading out of the room to enjoy what the Smash Mansion has to offer. It can't be more fun than what's inside the storybook, can it?
"We should probably return the storybook to the attic, before Mewtwo tells Mario on us," Lucas warned Ness, but Ness was slightly unconcerned about his friend's fear. Mewtwo isn't the type of person that tells on others, he feels as if that's a sign of childishness and immaturity.
"Even if he does, Mario won't do a single thing, he'll come to Master Hand about it and let him solve everything," responded Ness. "Although he refuses to admit it, Mario's afraid of Master Hand, and he tries not to show it too. Let's go grab a snack, we'll leave the storybook on my bed."
Ness and Lucas exited the room, closing the door behind them. Moments after the teens departed, a particular jester sprung up out of the storybook, sporting a smile on his face. This jester was none other than Dimentio, and he's supposed to be dead - but due to his presence in the storybook, the jester lives on, despite his fatal fate.
"All it took was for two bums to summon the other storybook characters - like a blackjack player picking out what cards to draw on his next hand - to bring me out of that wretched book..." remarked Dimentio. "Now that I'm here, my reign of terror shall continue evermore!" With Dimentio out of the storybook, the entire world - no, wait, the entire universe - is essentially on life alert.
Mario: First-a time I proposed to Peach, it was an absolute-a failure, and I know-a why...I proposed-a to Peach out of the blue-a because of Bayonetta, who put-a me up to it. I didn't work-a my way up to the proposal, and had I done-a that, the proposal would-a have felt more genuine, and-a Peach wouldn't have cried-a her eyes out. So I just-a have to work my way up, and propose-a to Peach when the time-a is right! With the Pure-a Heart now in my possession, the process will go-a more smooth than planned, and I kept-a the Pure Heart where no one will-a find it - Donkey Kong's large-a cooler, which he hardly uses anymore! *pauses for a very brief moment* Gotta go check-a on the cooler and make sure-a Donkey Kong hasn't used it for anything... *quickly gets up and bolts for Donkey Kong's room*
"Mario we have a serious crisis on our hands!" Mewtwo teleported to the cafe, interrupting Mario's and Peach's alone time. "Ness and Lucas have the Paper Mario storybook from the attic, and with it they might cause some trouble..." Mewtwo stopped momentarily when he saw Mario and Peach snuggling with one another; perhaps he arrived at a bad time.
"Oh, sorry Mewtwo, were-a you saying something?" Mario stopped his snuggling and faced Mewtwo, before the Psychic-type Pokemon lost his patience. Mewtwo had to repeat what he just said to Mario, and was the plumber's response, you might ask? "Ah well, it's just-a Ness and Lucas, no harm-a can possibly be done!" Seeing these two PSI masters as minor threats, though they're many steps below minor, Mario sees no reason for Mewtwo to feel concerned.
"But Mario, we may never know what those two are capable of!" exclaimed Peach. "Have you forgotten what the storybook can do? One simple touch of any character in that book, and the character instantly comes to life! That means an evildoer like Grodus could be summoned..."
"Hey Mario!" Goombella popped out of nowhere in the cafe, scaring the plumber and prompting him to hide behind his woman. He can't expect to successfully propose to Peach soon if he hides behind his future wife to save himself from some harmless paper Goomba.
"See, told you there would be some trouble!" Mewtwo said to a cowering Mario. "Granted this goomba is practically harmless, but the same can't be said for anyone else that might be summoned! Could be an evil villain of some sort!"
"No evil villain hasn't been summoned yet, maybe except for Francis...but like any other otaku, he won't hurt a single soul." Goombella suddenly took hold of Peach, who was surprised to see the pink goomba standing before her. "Oh hi Peach, how's it going?"
"Everything is going just dandy!" smiled Peach, feigning her worry over Goombella being in the real world, and not in the storybook where she rightfully belongs. "Anyone else aside from Francis walking among us?"
Over the course of the week, Samus and Zero were working on a giant, mechanical robot. It had everything that a prototypical giant robot needs and more - arms, legs, a sustainable torso, a rocket arm for firing ammo, and even a ventilation system, to keep it cool. Only one crucial part was missing, and it was the most important part too - the head. Zero had promised Samus he would build a heat for the robot, but apparently he slacked off on his job.
"X kept distracting me from working on the head, always wanting me to check on the security system and junk!" was the robot's excuse, when it's only X who is allowed to interact with the system; everyone else is barred from even laying a single finger on the system. So Zero has nobody else to blame but himself.
Zero: We saved the robot's head for last, and for one good reason - the head has to look LEGIT! Head looks hideous and ugly, and the rest of the robot's body will look the same way. Our robot doesn't necessarily have to be handsome or anything, it just needs to look...tolerable for the eyes. Would you like it if you were walking across a street, and saw a grotesque robot staring at you? You must be insane to say yes to that!
"That robot is looking mighty fine, squeeep!" the annoying alien known as Squirps approached Samus and Zero, complimenting them on their creation. "But it's missing a head though, squinkle, and that simply won't do!" Samus and Zero exchanged questionable looks, trying to figure out what the heck Squirps is and why he was even bothering them.
"Let's sell that thing on eBay and see how much money we can get in return!" Zero suggested to his blonde bounty hunter partner. Like anyone would pay their hard-earned money for a talking paper cutout of some ugly alien (as Paper Bowser had called Squirps) that will annoy the buyer to no end...
"Or we can have him serve as the robot's head," Samus countered Zero with a suggestion of her own - a more rational suggestion. "Sure he's made out of paper, but we can give him a helmet so he won't get hurt."
"Actually preferred the blonde robot's idea, squook, but Squirps supposes your idea will do!" exclaimed Squirps. Squirps was content with being sold to a random stranger online for cold hard cash?! Dude's a freaking weirdo... "Squirps would be more than happy to be a part of your wonderful contraption, sqeeep!"
"Then it's settled, we'll go get the connector cords and the helmet so we insert you inside the robot."
"Hoo boy, not now Squirple, Squirps has got to go..." Squirps moved about in place, indicating he has to either do a number one or a number two (hopefully it's a number one). "Squirps knew he should have used the bathroom after being released from that storybook..."
"So THAT'S how you're here, in our world!" exclaimed Zero, before a logical question was conjectured in his head that led him to asking: "But if you're made out of paper, then why do you have to use a bathroom? Are your feces made out of balled-up paper or something?"
"Please, Zero, let's not get into any unnecessary details..." grimaced Samus, pleading the robot not to discuss Squirps's urinary movements, bowel movements, or any other bodily movements. Squirps is an alien, after all, he could possibly do more than just urinate and defecate.
Samus: Zero was already endearing enough throughout the whole process of building the robot, what with his "LET'S MAKE THE ROBOT A GIANT KILLING MACHINE!" crap, and by the looks of it, this "Squirps" character looks to be just as irritating. Those boys do one little thing to throw me over the edge, and I'm completely done with life.
So Samus and Zero went to the nearest bathroom, so Squirps can take care of his business and serve as the final component to the giant robot. Once the three arrived at a bathroom, a problem suddenly arose...
"Squirps doesn't trust this bathroom, squook, let's go try another one!" Squirps had to say about the first bathroom he arrived at. Is the alien dude seriously doing pick-and-choose with the bathrooms? Samus may be closing in on being done with life...whatever that's supposed to mean. Will she stop breathing and eating, and all that good stuff if she's done with life?
"But it's just a freaking bathroom, what's so wrong with it?" argued Zero. "Bathrooms are all the same, they have a toilet, a sink, a shower or bath, and even a window for perverts to look at unsuspecting women!" Wario and Captain Falcon have made good use of the window aspect, and because of that, both men have been barred from lingering near a bathroom window, unless they want Master Hand to give them a loitering ticket at their own residence. Yes, Master Hand can give out loitering tickets to the very residents that live at his mansion, what did you expect from the Smash Universe creator?
"That's what Squirps is the most concerned about, squiggle, can't have the ladies check Squirps out!" In all brutal honesty, what woman in their right mind would want to check out Squirps? A desolate person like Shadow the Hedgehog could get a girlfriend arguably faster than Squirps ever would.
"Apparently we only have one bathroom without a window, and it's downstairs," stated Samus. "Hopefully we get there quickly, before you have an accident..."
Unlike the other Paper Mario characters, all of whom have remained inside the mansion, Dimentio decided to head outside, and for one reason - to look for Luigi. Believe or not, Paper Luigi is the host for the Chaos Heart, an artifact used to destroy the universe, and Dimentio had used this version of Luigi in his diabolical plan to destroy the universe, although his plan was derailed by Mario and company. Dimentio plans on carrying out a similar plan with the real-life Luigi, using the same tactics he did the first time around.
"This Luigi now lives by himself, and his brother Mario has yet to do much with Peach it seems," remarked Dimentio. "Can't help but feel a sense of irony foreshadowing this..." Dimentio neared the front door of Luigi's home, ready to put his plan into action.
Dimentio: Ah, finally I have the chance to meet the real-life Luigi, like a Charmander receiving the opportunity to meet his Pokemon trainer, the player of the Pokemon game, just dying to meet him! Both meetings will be fun, joyful...and a tad bittersweet.
Inside the Luigi household, Pit, Viridi, and Kirby were watching television in the living room, while Daisy was in the kitchen washing dishes. There was a knock at the door, with Dimentio patiently waiting outside.
"Can one of you three go answer the door for me?" Daisy called out to Pit and Kirby, and Pit sprung up to action, opening the front door. He saw Dimentio floating before him, and the angel, taking notice of the jester, was able to tell that he was evil and wicked, and like any other person, Pit knew EXACTLY what to do in this given situation...
"Nope, nobody important!" Pit instantly slammed the door on Dimentio, walking back towards the couch he was sitting on. "Must be a Jehovah's Witness person or something." Since when did Jehovah's Witnesses wear jester get-ups? Don't they wear formal suits, as a form of presentation?
"You dare to close the door on me?!" Dimentio opened the front door through the use of his magic, and rudely entered the house uninvited. "That is no way to treat any stranger, whether they be young or old, black or white, shady or honorable..."
"Okay, okay, we get it, no need to go on a tangent," said Viridi, before taking notice of Dimentio's paper form. "Wait, are you...from that Paper Mario storybook?"
"Glad you asked, for I am a character from the famed storybook! Name's Dimentio, a jester of ultimate magnificence; I am but a marquee player in the storybook, like Rawk Hawk of Glitz glory!" Pretty outlandish comparison - Rawk Hawk completely pales compared to the mighty likes of Dimentio, no one is more powerful than the jester himself. "I am here looking for a man in green, the man known as Luigi!"
"You're looking for my husband, Luigi?" asked Daisy, unaware of the trouble Dimentio put the paper version of her husband through. "He's taking a shower right now, you should wait...until...he finishes..." Dimentio totally ignored Daisy, as he floated past the princess of Sarasaland and to the master bedroom's bathroom (try saying that over and over again), where Luigi was washing away his cares.
"La la la lee, la la la doo..." Luigi sang in the shower while scrubbing his armpits, channeling his inner Popeye, Popeye the Sailor Man.
Daisy: No, I don't feel nervous about letting some Dimentio person see my precious Luigi, I mean what's the worst some jester is gonna do? Perform some silly juggling act or do some card tricks? Luigi needs a little more excitement in his life, and I seriously think Dimentio can take care of that.
Luigi turned off the shower, dried himself off a bit, wrapped his towel around his waist, and exited through the shower curtains...only to see Dimentio sadistically smiling at him. The plumber shrieked out of terror, for he clearly knows what Dimentio is fully capable of.
"Ah, here I am, facing the green-clad Luigi, like how a roaring lion faces his prey!" exclaimed Dimentio, noticing how shaky Luigi was. "What's more is that you're shaking more than a tall tower situated on a poor foundation, like a small rock...no wonder you and your paper counterpart have so much in common, you're both wimps!"
"W-Why are you-a here Dimentio?!" questioned Luigi, ready to call in help if he has to. Dimentio sensed that the plumber would eventually call for help, so for good measure, he pulled out some duck tape, and taped Luigi's mouth, preventing him from speaking. The only noises Luigi could make were in the form of mumbling sounds.
"My devious plan in the Paper Mario world was a failure, all thanks to Mario and company," Dimentio then pulled out a Floro Sprout, a type of seed meant for mind control. "Time to see how my plan shall work in the real world..." Dimentio smiled even harder know, as he neared an extremely frightened Luigi...
"Dude you're dating essentially a female version of Robin, if you screw this date up, then your romantic life is done for," Fox discussed with Chrom in the Star Records room, where Falco, Doc Louis, Little Mac, Lucina, Robin, and Big Top were all present. Chrom finally found himself a woman, and her name is Raven - a female variant of the mage we all know and love, Robin. Since this is the Prince of Yliesse's first date, he has butterflies in his stomach, and he's depending on Lucina and others to erase the butterflies right away.
"But I've never met this person before, it would be a blind date for me and I'm unsure how well I would do in a blind date," responded Chrom, shaking his head in dismay. Francis crept inside the Star Records room undetected, and was in awe at the brawlers he saw before him.
"A-Anime characters...a-and a h-hot anime chick...?" the nerdy otaku chameleon sweated profusely, doing his best to keep his composure. "N-Not to mention the St-Star Fox characters that are present! This is so...so...SO HI-TECHNICAAAAAL!"
Everyone in the Star Records room watched Francis' entire nerdgasm, paying attention the moment he opened his mouth. A nerd fawning over video game and anime characters...just what they needed.
Francis: My time at this mansion hasn't been going as well as I anticipated - Donkey Kong slapped me, Rosalina pepper sprayed me in my eyes, and Ashley gave me the cold shoulder! All my video game heroes and more disrespected me, and just when I thought things weren't going my way...I got to see real-life anime characters, and a smoking hot anime chick to boot! Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming!
"I've always wanted to meet an actual anime girl, nerr nerr nerr," Francis walked up to Lucina and took her hand, petting it seductively and sweating like he was in a sauna. The fact that he was sweating tells you everything you need to know about his romantic game, and perhaps his life in solitude.
"Father, this reptilian fellow is starting to give me the creeps..." Lucina said to Chrom, feeling some concern for her life. A few more pets on her hand and Lucina might catch Francis' nerd disease. Symptoms include a decrease in social skills, obsessing over anything anime, using geeky slang words, and creating robotic maids to do your bidding. DO NOT create robotic maids, it's not worth it.
"Maybe if you let him pet your hand a few more times, he'll stop and go away," suggested Robin. So Lucina waited...and waited...and Francis refused to let go of her hand, angering Robin very much. "Okay, that's enough, back away from the woman, mister!" The mage whipped out his Bronze Sword and his tome, ready to cast a spell on poor Francis.
"Woah Nelly, timeout, timeout!" Doc Louis rushed in between Robin and Francis, making Robin put his tome and sword away. "We don't need to hurt this chameleon fella; by the looks of it, he could be of great use towards Chrom's cause!"
"What makes you think that Doc, he doesn't look like the trustworthy type to me," said Little Mac. Most of the time, the boxer is on board with his trainer's ideas, but this time he's rather judgmental.
"Do y'all not see how this man is flirting with Lucina? No offense Chrom, but he's doing a better job than you would ever do!" Chrom nodded his head in modesty, Doc has a valid point. Chrom can't even flirt with a woman on a dating site. "This nerd could help you so you won't feel so nervous on your date!"
"A d-date?" Francis sweatdropped. "Oh, I'm not so sure if I would be beneficial, I'm very unfamiliar with this dynamic of romantic dates..." Of course, you bum, you hardly ever interact with anyone that's not a robotic maid, and the shows you watch are barely romantic. "...though I do have this dating simulator device, called Swoon-exe...used it on Peach, hehe..."
"Do you have this device with you?" asked Falco; Francis pulled the Swoon-exe out of his shirt pocket in a jiffy. "Eh, why did I even bother asking you, I knew you would carry it with you, bet you probably have a collection of manga books in your possession right now."
"I'm not so sure if we should do this..." remarked Chrom, feeling uneasy. Having to use a dating simulator doesn't seem to appease the prince.
"Well it's the only surefire plan we have, we have no other choice," stated Fox, having some similar doubts.
Fox: Yeah, I'm doubtful about bringing the chameleon dude on board. (He said his name is Francis...typical nerd name.) But apparently he has a dating simulator device, which will come in handy. Only thing we gotta do is find the perfect victim...or candidate, to test this simulator with Chrom.
Doopliss scoped the entire mansion, searching for a potential host. Unless you haven't played The Thousand Year Door, then you might be familiar with Doopliss's special ability to steal another person's body, due to his species as a Duplighost. Doopliss would find an eventual candidate in Link, who was in the printing room printing up several Hyrulian reports online for Zelda; the ghost was spying through the ceiling.
"He looks like he has a great body to steal...don't you guys think so?" Doopliss asked the four Pac-Man ghosts - Inky, Blinky, Cindy, and Clyde - who responded by moving about making their trademark ghost sounds. "Screw you guys, I'm about to go in!"
Doopliss leaped down from the ceiling and sneaked up behind an unsuspecting Link, who was shuffling through the copies. When Link turned around, the Duplighost disappeared and scanned the Hylian from head to toe with a green sensor bar. Link was able to see this sensor bar as it rolled down his eyes.
"Wha...what was that just now?" the hero of Hyrule wondered. "Hmm, that was very weird..."
All of a sudden, Link fell to the ground unconscious, and Doopliss reappeared...in Link's body, with Link now just a mere shadow. Doopliss moved Link's fingers, limbs, and everything else in his new body - first time he's someone with flesh, bones, and pumping blood.
"Man do I feel good!" the ghost exclaimed before laughing manically. "Thanks for the body, Slick!" Doopliss ran away laughing, though he did run a bit awkwardly due to him not being used to operating human legs. All Paper Mario had was just his feet!
"Did he just...steal my body?" Link suddenly woke up, watching as Doopliss ran away with the Hyrulian's body. The ghost encountered Toad in the hallway and did a scary face, frightening him and scaring him away. "I better do something about this, who knows what he might do to Zelda..."
Sonic invited Tails, Knuckles, and Amy over to his room to play a game...a game of Twister. You know how it goes - you spin a wheel, and whatever color the arrow lands on, you have to put your foot or hand on that color with the hand or foot prescribed. This kind of game can leave you in very uncomfortable positions...
"CRAMP, CRAMP, CRAMP, MY LEG IS CRAMPING!" Knuckles complained, his leg bent in an awkward state, but not awkward enough to result in a serious injury. Has anyone ever seriously injured themselves playing Twister? Imagine the lawsuits!
Sonic: Sucks that I couldn't get a Twister mat that can compliment me and my buddies' small statures. Sometimes being short has its many disadvantages, like having tall dudes such as Captain Falcon reach into a high cupboard for a box of cereal. I'm freaking Sonic the Hedgehog, not some lousy kid that needs the adults to get me the stuff I want!
"Sonic can we please play a party game that isn't so...painful and uncomfortable?" Tails asked his blue hedgehog friend, nearly on the verge of losing control in his legs. "Playing this game was a horrid idea..."
"It's not my fault there isn't a Twister mat that is complimentary towards our size!" was Sonic's response. He had sent a letter to Milton Bradley Company, the maker of the Twister game, demanding that they manufacture a smaller mat, and instead he received a smaller wheel. Talk about customer dissatisfaction... "Amy said she didn't want to play a board game, so this was our only option!"
Tutankoopa happened to stop by Sonic's room and witnessed the main Sonic protagonists playing the Twister game. The pharaoh was understandably confused by how this game worked; seeing the four put themselves in cramping positions, all over the mat, unnerved the koopa, causing him to question how people entertain and enjoy themselves in today's modern times.
"This game that you're playing is absolutely appalling, no rational person would want to put themselves through this torture!" Tutankoopa shook his head at Sonic and company, interrupting the game. Dude better keep his mouth shut, or he'll be the Twister mat! But he's not that colorful in terms of looks so we won't see that happening ever.
"Don't get your panties in a twist man, quit being such a Debbie Downer and let us have our fun!" retorted Sonic, continuing the game much to the chagrin of his friends.
"I DO NOT WEAR PANTIES, FOR I AM TUTANKOOPA!" The pharaoh koopa raised his arms into the sky when he bellowed this...but nobody bothered to pay attention. So he did what he had to do...he took the wheel for the Twister game and ran off with it, using it for who-freaking-honestly-knows-what. Not much you can do with a colored wheel without the game itself.
"That paper koopa just stole the wheel!" said Amy. "But as long as we don't have to play this game anymore, I'm fine with it." Sonic certainly wasn't fine, for he sported a very angry expression on his face. The hedgehog wanted to have some fun, and Tutankoopa was being a party pooper because he never got the attention he deserved.
"Alright, you guys, game over!" announced Sonic; Amy, Tails, and Knuckles all fell to the floor, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. "Nobody's doing anything else until we get that wheel back from that pharaoh dude!" ...and the sighs of relief have now turned into heavy groans.
Daisy: Luigi hasn't returned downstairs yet since he finished taking his shower...Dimentio must be keeping him entertained, being the jester that he is. I just hope that Luigi's safe and sound...
Pit, Viridi, and Kirby continued to watch television in the living room of Luigi's home, when there was a knock at the door. Both Viridi and Kirby looked at Pit, sporting wry smiles; Pit groaned as he got up and walked towards the front door.
"Bet it's another Jehovah's Witness person..." the angel sighed as he opened the front door. The person behind the door was a penguin adorned in red and white royal garments, and carried a giant hammer while being flanked by underling Waddle Dees. This was none other than King Dedede - not a Jehovah's Witness in the slightest.
"Yo, Pit, have you seen some jester dude anywhere today?" Dedede asked Pit, he and his Waddle Dee goons entering the house looking around and analyzing the surroundings. "I saw him making his move towards this home, and I fear that he's up to no good..."
"He came inside this home without warning, said he's looking for Luigi," explained Pit; he's starting to regret not stopping Dimentio and question his actions. "He went upstairs, and we haven't seen him ever since!"
"Heh heh heh...the Luigi you know and love...is no more..." echoed a presumably evil voice. Everyone looked around, wondering where this voice came from. Then the sound of footsteps, which lasted until Luigi appeared at the bottom of the staircase...
...except Luigi looked a bit...different. The famous plumber was now wearing a black jumpsuit, a green bandanna around his neck, dark gloves, dark boots, and a black mask to conceal his face, not to mention that hat now has a black background with the L reversed.
"Luigi, is that supposed to be you?" Daisy asked her husband, finding his new attire somewhat laughable. "Where on earth did you get that black jumpsuit?"
"This Luigi person that you speak of is long gone!" said an obviously brainwashed Luigi, who just did an awesome pose - something that the regular Luigi could never do, no matter how hard he tries. "For I am the Green Thunder...MR. L!" Yup, that's right, Dimentio had used that Floro Sprout on poor Luigi, and brought back the Mr. L persona that was present in Super Paper Mario. Speaking of Dimentio, where is that guy...?
"Basically your alter ego consists of a letter than perfectly summarizes your entire life," said Viridi. "Not gonna lie, that's genius!" Daisy stared at Viridi, who held her head down in guilt. She should have known better than to say that near Luigi's loving wife.
Dimentio: Floro Sprouts are truly one of a kind when it comes to mind control - the only known way to break someone who's under control of a Floro Sprout is to kill them off, like I had done to Mr. L in the World of Nothingness! I would have used more Floro Sprouts on Luigi's fellow brawlers, but alas I only brought one sprout with me, and killing everybody once my plan has been fulfilled would have been too much work...pity me.
"Now that I'm back in business, I must complete my mission...acquire the Pure Heart before anyone else does!" Mr. L said as he walked through the kitchen and living room and exited through the front door, leaving everyone perplexed. Was this a new and improved Luigi, or was he just brainwashed?
"Oh, Luigi, whatever happened to you..." Daisy looked on as she watched her husband head off to the mansion through the opening of the front door. Her precious Luigi has now gotten some sort of personality and swagger face lift...and the princess of Sarasaland doesn't like it, not one bit.
One of the many things Mario did to flirt with Peach was drinking lemonade, and the two lovebirds did just that in the mansion's backyard, resting in the hammock.
"HOPE YOU TWO ENJOY...YOUR DELICIOUS LEMONADE..." said R.O.B., the trusty robot who made the lemonade for Mario and Peach. This robot's usefulness knows no bounds, he could mow the lawn for you if you asked him to.
"R.O.B., would you mind playing some...romantic music?" asked Peach. Mario was about to ask a similar question, but his girlfriend beat him to the punch. Credit to Peach for wanting to elevate the mood. "Nothing fancy or anything, just want something relaxing, that's all..."
"ONE ROMANTIC TRACK...COMING RIGHT UP..." R.O.B pressed a button on his chest, and a music player popped out from where the button was started playing some calming, romantic music - the type of music you would typically hear if you were at a spa. Do they even play calming, romantic music at spas?
R.O.B: IN ADDITION TO ROMANTIC MUSIC...I CAN ALSO PLAY RAP MUSIC...AND FRANK SINATRA...YOU CAN CALL ME... *flexes his arms, as if he was flexing his muscles* ...THE UNIVERSAL MUSIC PLAYER...DON'T TELL FOX NOR FALCO I EVER SAID THAT...
Mario sighed happily and looked to his left...to see Goombella just standing near the hammock. The plumber shrieked at the goomba for the second time, falling out of the hammock, lying on the ground for a few seconds before slowly getting back up. Goombas are supposed to look scary looking, but they're not supposed to be that scary, they shouldn't make you shriek like a little schoolgirl.
"What-a is your problem woman, can't you just-a leave an honest man-a be for once?!" Mario snapped at Goombella, who appeared to be somewhat entranced. Hearing Mario speak was a surprise to her ears...her nonexistent Goomba ears. Just as nonexistent as her nose.
"Not fair, how come you get to talk, but Paper Mario doesn't?" frowned Goombella. "Well, the only time Paper Mario talked was when he Doopliss stole his body, but that doesn't really count, since it was Doopliss who was speaking. Anyways, some giant hand named Master Hand wants to see you in his room. He was gonna sent someone else to tell you this, but he chose me instead since I wasn't doing anything in particular."
"Guess then I'll-a be on my way," Mario headed to the mansion, wondering what Master Hand wants to do with him now. "It always has-a to be me, huh, why-a not anyone else..." the plumber muttered under his breath. Is Mario Master Hand's personal lapdog or something, similar in regards to Pit and Palutena?
"Goombella, do you mind if I ask you a quick question?" Peach asked the pink goomba; Goombella neared towards the Mushroom Kingdom princess. "Mario has devoted more of his time to be with me, and I'm starting to get the feeling that he plans on strengthening our relationship so when the moment is right...he can propose to me. But I'm not so sure about marriage - so many risks, and so many responsibilities, and I already have my fair share of those as a princess of a mighty kingdom!"
"You two already have some sort of built-in chemistry with one another, so I find it hard to understand what the issue may be," Goombella offered her take on Peach's situation. A sassy lass like herself can be one of great advice when it comes to this thing called love. "Mario must be dreaming of having you as a wife, and he won't let that opportunity waste away in a minute!"
"Yes, I know that Mario has been dreaming of that for a considerable amount of time, but I don't think I'm ready yet for the challenge of love that is marriage...then again, Daisy is married to Luigi, so that can be some form of motivation for me..."
"Wait, did you seriously let your rival wed before YOU?!" Now Paper Daisy has never appeared in a Paper Mario game (not yet, at least) which may bewilder some of you as to how Goombella is familiar with Daisy, but taking into account how much from the standard Mario universe is carried over to the Paper Mario universe, Paper Daisy's existence can mostly be implied.
Peach: *smiling* Daisy and I aren't exactly who you call rivals, rather we're just friendly...companions that compete for the same goal!...I just described what a rival is, didn't I?
"I know you're ready, and I'm positive Mario is anticipating the moment you say that magical word," said Goombella, trying to raise Peach's confidence level. "Besides, you wouldn't want to marry Bowser again, would you?"
Peach couldn't help but give Goombella a stern look when the Goomba mentioned this wedding, which was arranged at the hands of Count Bleck. Goombella wasn't even invited to this wedding, how does she know about this wedding to begin with?! And on top of that, how does she know Paper Daisy?!
Samus, Zero, and Squirps were waiting outside a bathroom - a bathroom that lacks a window, much to the pleasure of Squirps, who's apparently perturbed about the possibility of women peeping at him through a bathroom window, even though he's ugly as heck (no offense, but Google Search him and you'll know it's the truth). So why are the three waiting outside this bathroom? Because someone is currently using it of course, and thankfully, it's not Wario for a change...
"The pain, I can feeling it pulsating in my lower body!" Captain Falcon bellowed from inside the bathroom. "Somebody get me a roll of toilet tissue!" Indications may seem that the race car driver may be taking a dump, and a really heavy dump at that!
"Ooh, Squirps can't hold it in much longer, squeerple..." Squirps moved about in place, doing his best to hold in his bodily fluid and/or waste. "Squirps might have an accident on the floor..."
"Zero, toilet tissue, NOW!" Samus commanded her robot companion, not wanting to clean up Squirps's mess - though it might be in the form of paper, who knows. Zero quickly rushed to action, heading down the hallway to the nearest closet to fetch a roll of toilet tissue, when he encountered Bombette, simply minding her own business.
"Excuse me sir, but it seems that I'm lost," Boombette said to Zero. "Can you show me around so I'll know where I'm going?" Zero looked at the pink Bob-omb before him, stroking his chin. Why fetch Captain Falcon a roll of toilet paper, when he can just use Bombette to blow up the bathroom door and see if Falcon is genuinely using the bathroom or not? (Mr. Game & Watch can always replace the bathroom door.) So Zero snatched Bombette against her will, and brought her to the bathroom door, where Squirps was about to make a horrid mess on the floor.
"Did you bring the toilet paper?" Samus asked Zero, who pushed the bounty hunter aside and placed Bombette near the door.
"Blow up that stinking door or you'll never walk again!" Zero commanded Bomette - commanding much? Bombette groaned, and did as she was told, blowing up the bathroom door...revealing Captain Falcon inside sitting on the toilet seat, scrolling through his phone, with a roll of toilet paper next to him. He wasn't even using the bathroom at all!
Zero: *facepalming* Happens every freaking time...Captain Falcon announces to everyone that he has to use the bathroom (like we actually care about what he does), and he spends an eternity in the bathroom, spending time on his phone. It's one of the underlying reasons the mansion's cellphone bill is outrageously high.
"Hey, you found me!" Captain Falcon looked up and grinned nervously at Samus and Zero, who were glaring him down. Samus walked inside the bathroom, and snatched Falcon's phone out of his hand.
"What are you even looking at..." Samus looked at the phone, and saw a picture of her wearing a bikini. She scrolled down, and saw another picture of her, this time in a pool. The bounty hunter kept scrolling and scrolling, and all she saw was flirtatious pictures of herself...Captain Falcon's life kept flashing before his eyes with every scroll Samus did, the more scrolls the more Samus's brow furrowed, until it strongly resembled a death glare. Zero back away a little bit; there's no telling of the punishment Samus will likely dole out to Captain Falcon. "Where on earth did you get these pictures?!" the now angry Samus asked a nervous Captain Falcon.
"Funny you should ask...I got them from an unknown source..." Captain Falcon made his case while Samus continued to angrily glare him down. "Totally not like I took those pictures like we were on vacation or something..." Congratulations, Captain Falcon, you just played yourself - now run as fast as you can before Samus tries to kill you. Fortunately that's what Captain Falcon did, speeding out of the bathroom at the speed of light.
"Squirps can't hold it in much longer, squooorp, Squrips is about to blow!" exclaimed Squirps, Zero quickly rushed the young alien inside the bathroom, and he and Samus ran out of the bathroom real quick, instantly closing the door behind them. After a few minutes, and the sound of a toilet flushing and water rushing down the sink, Squirps exited the bathroom, feeling greatly relieved. We may never know how the little fella reached the sink, it's like the Empire State Building compared to his short stature.
"Ah, Squirps feels so relieved, squoork!" the alien exclaimed happily. "Squirps now wants to try out that giant robot thing!" Gotta get the connector cords and the helmet first!
Doopliss, gracing the body of Link, made his way to the gaming room, touring the entire mansion and looking for brawlers to mess with. Plenty of brawlers were inside the gaming room - the more the merrier!
"Yoo hoo, Link, over here!" a feminine voice called out; this voice belonged to Zelda, who was seated by herself at a couch. Doopliss, sensing that this was Link's woman, strutted towards Zelda, doing some sort of pimp walk. He was certainly getting looks...looks of concern and uneasiness. Nobody can seem to stomach Link acting cool for any purpose.
Zelda: I had Link print me out several Hyrulian reports for me as a part of my Hyrulian studies...as my role as princess of the Hyrule Kingdom, it is fully integral that I know about the history of Hyrule, and learn the ins and outs of what makes Hyrule such a prestigious land. I should entice Peach to conduct research on the Mushroom Kingdom; she can't race in race cars and play golf all the days of her life.
"Something wrong with you, Link, I can't help but feel that you're acting...different," Zelda remarked as Doopliss continued to strut towards Zelda, with his ugly pimp walk. "And where are the reports I asked you to print out for me, how do you expect me to further conduct my research without them?"
Then all of a sudden, Doopliss did the impossible - he slapped Zelda cold-blooded, catching everyone in the gaming room off-guard as they looked at Doopliss, inside Link's body, with utter shock. Zelda held her face in her hands after being slapped, sobbing a little bit. Link slapping her is one of the most unorthodox things the princess expects to happen - but it wasn't Link who committed this act.
"Watcha doin' outside of the kitchen woman, go make me a sandwich if you know what's good for ya!" Doopliss angrily said to a slightly sobbing Zelda. So not only is the Duplighost a jerk, he's also a sexist...not a very good combination in the slightest.
"Woah, Link, mellow out man, that's no way to treat your woman!" scolded K.K. Slider, who had to stop his performance in wake of Doopliss's despicable actions. Doopliss got on the stage, and did yet another despicable act - he snatched K.K.'s guitar, playing it like a madman, before slamming it on the stage floor like most zany guitarists do. The shock inside the room just keeps building up; if only they knew the truth...
"Enjoy your wack guitar now, Slick!" Doopliss handed the remnants of the guitar to K.K. Slider, before walking away snickering evilly. "Consider your music career TOAST!" K.K.'s career can't be ruined because of one terribly broken guitar, he can always find another one to call his own.
"But this was the only guitar I've ever used, and I promised myself to only use this one, for the rest of my life..." K.K. said somberly, looking at the pieces of his guitar, holding the pieces in his hands. Okay, so maybe K.K's career may be toast, unless he wises up and decides to purchase another guitar.
Link: Man, walking around in this dude's body is off the chain! I can feel actual human flesh, and I can do my superb pimp walk - walkin' like a real G! My deeds in the gaming room have been fulfilled; next stop, the beauty parlor that green-haired chick said she's going to. Plenty of ladies will be present, and I can "use" them to make the dude's girlfriend even more ticked... *rubs his hands evilly*
Link's best friend, Cloud, witness what just went down through the entrance of the gaming room, stroking his chin. The Link he knows would never slap his girlfriend, or break a musician's instrument and somehow hinder his career. Evidently the Hylian is possessed, and Cloud sought to find out about this for himself with Doopliss exited the room.
"Link are you feeling okay?" Cloud interrogated his buddy, who was really Doopliss hacking Link's body, as the Duplighost exited the gaming room in the Hyrulian's body. "I saw what you did to K.K. Slider's guitar, that was seriously uncalled for..."
"Feeling just great Slick, thanks for asking!" responded Doopliss. Not a knock on Link, but he's not cool enough to be addressing anyone "Slick"; this was a tell-tale sign to Cloud that his friend is being possessed. "Now if you excuse me, I have to make some amends...with the ladies..." Doopliss said the last part of his response in a romantic tone, before strutting away with his strange pimp walk. Another tell-tale sign for Cloud - Link isn't cool enough to pull of a pimp walk, either. But Link is cool in his own right, in his own special way - we'll just leave it at that.
"Psst, Cloud, can you hear me?" a voice whispered. Cloud looked behind him, and saw Link...or at least a shadow version of Link. "That was the dude that stole my body, was it? I've been looking all over for him..."
"I had a feeling that wasn't you in the gaming room..." stated Cloud, a bit uneasy about the fact that Link is nothing but a mere shadow. The blonde swordsman has been frightened a few times in the past (see: Jenova), but to have a friend rendered to a shadow...that's the most frightening experience anyone could ever have. "The guy that's in your body told me he's heading off to the beauty parlor; who knows what he's up to..."
"C'mon Rosalina, it will be oodles and oodles of fun!" Little Mac said to Rosalina as the young boxer guided the mother of all Lumas to the dining room, with the woman's dear Luma tagging along. "It will be absolutely painless!"
"You said that about the zumba classes you once held in the fitness center," stated Rosalina. "Practically every single one of your participants ran out of breath once the lessons were over, and some of them even had to be sent to the E.R!" Sent to the emergency room due to a severe loss of breath from a zumba class? Wonder how they explained that to the paramedics.
Little Mac: "Zumba is mainly geared towards women," they said... "Why would some lousy boxer want to hold zumba classes in the first place," they said...Do they not know that zumba is a great exercise for men and women everywhere, for boys and girls of all ages? What's so bad about zumba anyways, it's a combination of dance and fitness! Think of it as a mixture of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, except it tastes exactly how it should!
At the dining room, Chrom sat at the far end of the table, with Francis instructing him on how to use Swoon-exe on his computer. It has several different commands - Look, which includes things to look at; Speak, which includes topics to discuss about; Think, which includes things to ponder over; Disappear, which Chrom can't manually do; Smooch, which hopefully won't be used at all; and Inventory, which includes items that Chrom can pull out during his flirting. Francis engineered his dating simulator so that it would fit Chrom's and Rosalina's needs and specialties.
"Just press a command for any necessary situation, and you'll be good to go!" Francis said to Chrom, still uneasy about utilizing this Swoon-exe simulator. Francis saw that Little Mac and Rosalina were on their way to the dining room. "Ooh, here she comes, don't mess this up buddy!" Francis gave Chrom a pat on the back as he ran to a hiding spot, where Fox, Falco, Lucina, Robin, Doc Louis, and Big Top were all present. Little Mac and Rosalina entered the dining room, and Chrom gave Rosalina a comforting smile. Will this "experiment" be a rousing success, or will Chrom somehow mess things up?
"Please take a seat, my fair lady," Little Mac sat Rosalina in a chair adjacent to Chrom, before heading to the hiding spot. "How long do you guys give Chrom until he cracks under the pressure?" the young boxer whispered to those in hiding.
"Five minutes," answered Lucina. C'mon now, Lucina, you're supposed to have more faith in your dad than that!
"Twenty minutes," answered Fox. Okay, that sounds a bit more reasonable.
"A full hour, given that Chrom keeps his head straight," answered Doc Louis. Chrom is still pretty nervous, so that's a huge given.
"He won't crack until midnight!" answered Big Top. Yeah, because we all know flirting is supposed to last until the nighttime hours...
"Well, Rosalina, you certainly look beautiful today, as always," Chrom started off with this cliche remark. He looked on the Swoon-exe application on Francis's laptop, and selected "Speak", and then selected "Talk to Hot Babe". Why does Francis even have these commands in the first place... "So how is life, how's life like at this mansion?"
"Eh, life here could be much better than usual," responded Rosalina. "The living conditions do outweigh the food quality, I will say that. And although Master Hand can be quite the headcase, he can be very interesting when you get to know him." So far, so good - Chrom can't ruin his progress now.
Francis: Nerr nerr nerr...my precious Swoon-exe is the schweetest thing there is...I'm the only person on that owns one...
Falco: Hold up, is an actual website?! *Francis nods his head* Bruh...
Chrom looked on the computer, and saw that his charisma leveled up...the prince ignored this, and selected "Luma" under the "Look" command.
"That Luma of yours is following you everywhere you go..." stated Chrom, as the butterflies were now flying out out his stomach. "Where are the other Lumas?"
"Back at the Comet Observatory, Lubba is keeping a close eye on them," responded Rosalina. Lubba, while humorous at times, is a very dedicated leader, and is probably doing a great job right now looking over the Comet Observatory. Only problem he would have would be feeding the Lumas star bits, and having to watch them morph into planets. It's the circle of life among the Luma species.
Chrom went back to the computer (he does this when Rosalina is looking away), and saw his Falchion listed under "Inventory". The prince shrugged, and selected his sword, pulling it out just when Rosalina looked towards him.
"Say, Rosalina, have you ever taken a good look at my sword?" Chrom asked Rosalina, showing off his Falchion. Rosalina picked up the Falchion and held it in her hands as she and Luma marveled at it, even though it's hardly worth anything to marvel at.
Suddenly trouble soon loomed for Chrom when the Demon Lord Ganondorf entered the dining room and stood near the table, glaring down Chrom and Rosalina with his arms folded. The two sitting at the table, as well as Luma, didn't see the King of Evil, but those in hiding certainly did, growing nervous for Chrom's well-being.
"Ganondorf is about to abuse that man, somebody has to get Chrom out of there!" Fox alerted the others. But before anyone could save Chrom, the prince of Yliesse was grabbed by the neck by Ganondorf, and lifted into the air. Most times, Ganondorf does this in battle as a way to inflict damage and knock someone out, but this time, he was choking out of anger and wrath.
"What business do you have near Rosalina?" Ganondorf asked a nearly suffocating Chrom, while Rosalina and Luma looked on, afraid. So is Ganondorf and Rosalina still a thing? By the looks of it, it seems to be so... "Answer me right now, craven!"
"It's a very long and complicated story, it was just an experiment, that's all..." Chrom chuckled nervously, but Ganondorf, his glare forcing the sweat to pour down Chrom's face, didn't buy the prince's claim, not one bit...
"Four hundred and ninety eight, four hundred and ninety nine...five hundred!" Diddy Kong had just finished counting the amount of bananas he and Donkey Kong collected, and had these bananas piled together on a giant pile that might tumble soon. You're probably wondering why the Kongs are counting their bananas, are you? They're preparing early for winter - a time when Master Hand keeps the food in the mansion locked away, just to mess with the brawlers (he returns the food eventually, only after enough complaining).
Diddy Kong: While everybody else is starving till Christmas time - that's when the complaints usually rev up - Donkey Kong and I will be eating our bananas and keeping our bellies full! We'll be one step ahead of the curve, leaving the others eating crumbs off the floor like peasants! *pauses, looks around, lowers head towards the floor and licks it for food crumbs*
"Put those bananas in this here sack, my dear nephew!" Donkey Kong held out a sack wide open, and Diddy Kong threw the bananas inside the sack at rapid speed. During this time, Mr. L entered the Kongs' room, but for what reason?
"Sup dudes, sorry if I'm interrupting what you're doing, but I came here to take care of some important business!" said the plumber turned mercenary. Donkey Kong tied up the sack after Diddy finished his task, and threw the sack in the closet before turning around and facing Mr. L, taking huge notice of his new attire.
"Woah Luigi, you look better looking than you're supposed to be with that black getup!" remarked Donkey Kong, and Diddy nodded in agreement. Ooh, Luigi just got burned...but the real Luigi is nonexistent right now, so that doesn't matter. "What's the occasion, dressing up for Halloween in early August?"
"There is no occasion, for I am..." Mr. L did a fancy pose by standing on one foot and pointing his finger in the air. "...MR. L! And I'm gonna wipe the floor with both of your scrawny behinds!" Donkey Kong and Diddy looked at each other for a brief second, before bursting into laughter.
"Yeah in your dreams pal!" Donkey Kong laughed away, wiping a tear before holding his fist out to Mr. L for a fist bump. "That's definitely worthy of a fist bump, great joke you pulled off there!"
Instead of a fist bump, Donkey Kong instead received a beatdown at the hands of Mr. L. Diddy tried to run away, but Mr. L made sure the spidermonkey got his beatdown. With both Kongs down for the count, Mr. L went inside the closet and moved the sack of bananas aside, revealing a giant cooler. The mercenary opened the cooler, and pulled out a heart...the Pure Heart.
"You made a terrible mistake bro..." Mr. L smiled evilly, referring to his brother Mario. Did Luigi knew about the Pure Heart beforehand? Or was Dimentio able to detect the Pure Heart himself?
"The Paper Mario storybook has been taken out of the attic!" Master Hand discussed with Mario in the hand's room, with Isabelle writing everything down. "It was taken by Ness and Lucas, as Mewtwo had told me. Those two boys likely took the storybook to their room and left it there...Mario, it is your duty to retrieve that book before anything bad transpires!"
"You can count-a on me, Master Hand!" Mario saluted Master Hand as he exited the room...
"Oh, and one more thing - you know that jester, by the name of Dimentio? Word has it that a jester was once in the mansion for a brief period of time, and that jester must have been Dimentio. If you see him anywhere, take care of him quickly, he's a very strong fellow as you may know..." Mario nodded assuredly as he exited the room, and made his way to the room where the storybook rests.
"Um, Master Hand, do you have a minute?" Isabelle came before Master Hand, feeling quite nervous. "I have something to tell you...it's about the statue outside..."
Speaking of the statue, which was just finished last week, Dimentio hovered before it, conjuring evil plans in his demented mind.
"Like a headless cockroach lasting an entire week, I remain undeterred..." Dimentio remarked, his gaze fixated on the Master Hand statue before him. "I detect an extremely strong force behind this statue...a force even stronger than I..."
...It's safe to say that the universe is officially screwed.