Author's Note:
One guest reviewer, Philippe, posed a question concerning episode 30 (the one with the brawlers dressed as Marvel characters, the episode/chapter also being a personal favorite of mine for a myriad of reasons):
Ummm... in the Avengers movie... didnt Iron Man still stay awake after tanking a hit from Thor's lightning?
Yes, that did happen in the movie...we'll just say that the armor suit Mario wore works differently, especially since the suit belongs to Master Hand. He may have done some lowkey stuff to the suit that we don't know about.
Episode 40: Blackout
Throughout the entire course of Smash Life, you have seen Mario and his fellow brawlers do a lot of things throughout the day. You've seen Wolf O'Donnell filming a horror movie. You've seen Cloud and Link attempt to kill a spider in the living room. Heck, you've even witness Sonic trying to commit suicide at the front of the mansion, and thankfully it was aborted.
But you've never seen them doing things during nighttime, haven't you? Sure, there was Lucina's stand-up comedy gig (briefly interrupted by Sephiroth), and K.K. Slider held a few concerts during the nighttime hours. However, we never seen the brawlers go to work at a particular timeframe - past midnight.
One day, everything that transpired at the mansion was pretty mundane, a rarity in its own right. Mario planned for his wedding with Pac-Man's assistance, Samus worked in the workshop refining her power suit, Red the Pokemon Trainer trained his three Pokemon, Wii Fit Trainer exercised, Pit was making an idiot of himself, same goes for Lloyd Irving...so forth and so on. Understandably, the camera/production crew was mostly angry, because there was nothing exciting or engaging going on.
So what did the camera crew do, you might ask? Instead of leaving the mansion around eleven o'clock - the time they usually leave - they stuck around past that time, just to see if anything remotely interesting was going on. Just when it seemed like the crew was about to regret their decision, they were surprised to see Mega Man X roaming about the mansion, doing things like checking the temperature and ensuring that the security system was functioning properly. Some camera crew members would find the brawlers up and awake in their rooms, evidenced by the light that came out of underneath their doors, but we'll get to them later on.
X: Do I ever go sleeping? Nah, I'm a robot, I don't really need to sleep. Sleeping is overrated anyways - it results in dreams that always play with your head. One moment you're in the sky, flying with the clouds, and the next you open your eyes and wake up, and find out that your brain has been playing tricks on you. And you don't think there's nothing wrong...
After checking on the mansion's security system, X made his way down to the kitchen - not to grab a bite to eat, you know robots can't eat physical human food you silly goose - to check on the refrigerator. Many times before, the refrigerator stops working, and X is here to ensure that doesn't happen...
"Luigi why are you inside our kitchen, shouldn't you be at your own home?" the pacifist robot asked Luigi, who was strangely going through the fridge grabbing random food items and eating them while in his pajamas. The plumber doesn't seem to be aware of his own actions, as evidenced by the fact that he hasn't even replied to X's question. "Can you even hear me?" Luigi looked at X for a brief second or two, staring at the robot like he's looking into his own soul...before he returned to licking the mayonnaise out of a container of mayonnaise. So mysterious, yet so very weird at the very same time...
"Very strange to see Luigi in our kitchen this time of the night," Rosalina appeared in the kitchen, wearing her nightgown. "Usually he comes around this time to alert us about a baby cockroach in his room, not to raid our fridge." Rosalina wasn't restless or anything - in fact, she has been staying inside her room with the light on, doing miscellaneous things. Surely you have done the same plenty of times before.
"I've tried calling out to him, but he won't answer - he just looked at me, but that's pretty much it. You think he may be sleepwalking?"
"Only one way to find out..." Rosalina walked up to Luigi, and grabbed him by the shoulders. The green plumber looked into Rosalina's eye, in a fixated glance - and he had no idea what was going on. Rosalina slapped Luigi once, twice even, but the plumber didn't react in any way. Instead, he let go of Rosalina and went back to raiding the fridge. "Yes, he is definitely sleepwalking, no form of response whatsoever. Seems like he's in a bit of a trance."
"Should we get Mario to wake his brother up? I don't wanna take any chances with Luigi, sleepwalking can make him very predictable." Not only that, but it would be hard to snap a person out of sleepwalking. But Mario, the man who has braved many of Bowser's treacherous castles and saved dozens of galaxies from destruction, can make the impossible seem possible.
"It may be the only choice we have. Doubt Daisy would have a hand in the issue - she might even be fast asleep, for all we know."
"Any word about Snake and the whole cocaine incident?" Aerith asked Mario inside their room. Mario shares the same room with Cloud's girlfriend...awkward. "Still can't believe he grew those coca plants in the gardens without any permission...must have been an act of pure desperation."
Aerith: Snake growing coca plants in the gardens and forcing Ashley to help produce cocaine just sounds too good to be true, it's far from realistic. The Snake I know would never even think about making cocaine, for any reason whatsoever. Perhaps he did it for financial reasons, what with him selling the cocaine to Big the Cat of all the individuals I could think of...but what exactly is he raising money for?
"Isabelle said-a that Snake will-a be going on trial in a few days-a or so," Mario responded while watching a TV program on his television from his bed. "Haven't heard any word about-a Big, it would-a be hard to see a lovable oaf like-a him behind bars?" Since when was Big ever lovable? The only person that likes Big would be that one dude who fought for the character to be playable in Sonic and Sega's All-Star Racing. "We'll-a know more about Big and-a Snake eventually."
"Mario, your twin brother Luigi is sleepwalking in the kitchen, and he's going through our fridge, like he's some bear stuck in someone's home," X stopped by the room to alert Mario. "So how about you get off of your flabby butt and wake your brother up or else we won't have anything to eat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner?"
"No worries X, I'll take-a care of Luigi at once!" Mario got off of his head, grabbing a previously concealed stun gun from underneath his pillow, and headed out the door to wake up Luigi. The very presence of the stun gun left X quite perplexed...
"Mario had a stun gun this whole time?" the robot asked Aerith, who shrugged out of confusion. Not even she knew the answer to this question.
"Lloyd, please get off of the floor, it's not like the floor is clean," Zelda, reading a Hyrulian book while tucked in her bed, said to Lloyd Irving, planking on the floor like it's nobody's business. Apparently his "life skill" is being applied to this very day...
"No, I refuse to give up my life skill, it can only lead me to success!" Lloyd defiantly said while shaking his fist in the air, his voice muffled by the floor. "When will you ignorant people ever understand?!" Planking was a thing five or six years ago...does that mean Lloyd is a bit late to the party?
Lloyd: Ability to use a bow and arrow? That's Link's life skill...Expertise in science and alchemy? That's Shulk's life skill...Consistently looking like a woman on a day-to-day basis? That's Marth's life skill...And what's my life skill, you might ask?...No, being an idiot is NOT my life skill, that's Pit's, and he's irrelevant right now. My life skill, since you're so uninformed, is the ability to plank! I'm the Muhammad Ali of planking, no one can ever come close to my prowess!
"Your dumb planking has gotten you nowhere, it has validated many of your fellow brawlers' understandings about you making a complete moron of yourself," said Zelda. "Unless you want to salvage your dignity, or whatever's left of it, you should..."
All of a sudden the lights went out, as the lamplight Zelda was using to read her book dimmed out. Lloyd shrieked at the top of his lungs like a little girl (admit it, if you were scared of the dark you'd do the same thing) as Zelda took out a candle and lit it with Din's Fire. The flame of the candle illuminated the room, shedding some light on Lloyd, seated in the corner of the room sucking on his thumb in a fetal position.
"I'm too young to die, I'm too young to die, I'm too young to die..." the swordsman would repeat himself whenever he didn't have his thumb in his mouth, likely under the assumption that an apocalypse is on the way. Zelda exited the room and into the hallways, entering into a pitch black environment. (Understandably so, considering it's past midnight and everyone is in their room, but many brawlers may still be awake at this time.) The princess cautiously walked through the halls with the candle in hand, hoping no scary person or thing like the Slender Man or Freddy Kruger would pop out of nowhere and spook her. But Zelda hasn't been frightened yet, so far so good...
"BOOOOO!" Just then, Bowser Jr. jumped out of nowhere in front of Zelda, making the princess scream and nearly drop her candle as he drew back from the young koopa. "Ha ha, spooked ya real good didn't I? You scream just like a girl!" Hmm, we wonder why...
"Maybe it's because I am a girl?" In her mind Zelda might be questioning herself as to why Bowser Jr. was asking her such an asinine question. "Also, shouldn't you be in your room, what are you doing out here?"
"Some people can't use the bathroom these days, can't they?" Bowser Jr. frowned and folded his arms at Zelda's question. "I was heading back to my room, then I saw you with the candle and wanted to scaring the living daylights out of ya! And I was successful!"
"Yeah whatever...wanna walk with me to the garage so where the circuit-breaker box is? I can't afford to go by myself..." The princess has a point, what if someone like the Slender Man and Freddy Kruger ambushed her FOR REAL?! That's were Bowser Jr. comes in...he can take the beating from either man while Zelda makes a run for it. Excellent plan by the princess herself.
"Awww, the poor little princess is too afraid to go all alone!" Bowser Jr. taunted Zelda, garnering a soul-shattering glare from the Hylian. "...I'll accompany you to the garage, if you don't mind." As demonstrated by Zelda just now, the glare can prove to be very effective, only if it's executed right.
Sonic: Sweet, the lights in the mansion just went out, which means that Tails and I can have fun in the dark! Let the games begin... *whips out a red laser and flashes it in Tails' eyes as he slept*
Tails: *wakes up out of anger* Gah, Sonic, get that light away from my face, I'm trying to sleep here! *pulls covers over his head*
Sonic: Why are you in the bed already, it's not even twelve yet! Man you're so boring, it absolutely hurts! *knock sounds at the door* A visitor this late? Wonder who it can be...
Suddenly intrigued, Sonic opened the door to his room, and found no one standing by. That is, until the hedgehog looked down and saw a Charmander down at his feet, smiling. The flame on his tail was bright enough to light the vicinity.
"Hey there, funny seeing you out of the sanctuary!" Sonic greeted Charmander. "Got lost, little fella?"
"Charmander, char, char!" the lizard Pokemon exclaimed. Sonic would leave Charmander in the dust, but the Pokemon's cute, adorable face was too much for the hedgehog to turn down. So he did what he had to do...
"Sonic, you can't just take that Charmander inside the room, you gotta return him to the sanctuary where he belongs," Tails said to his best friend as he welcomed Charmander inside his room. An excitable Pokemon like Charmander would be high maintenance for Sonic, and that in turn can disrupt Tails and his sleep - something the yellow fox cannot have by any means.
"Why, because he might get hurt?" scoffed Sonic. "What's gonna hurt him? That desk over there? The lights falling down from the ceiling? Some monstrosity coming out of the television and swallowing Charmander whole?! Not gonna lie, that would be pretty awesome...but Charmander will be safe and sound in our room!"
"Yeah, well, you two keep the noise down while I get some shuteye," Tails turned over his head on his pillow as he went back to sleep. "Goodnight Sonic." The fox closed his eyes and went to sleep...though it didn't take long for the young whippersnapper to awake once again, when Charmander jumped atop Tails. "Sonic, get this Charmander away from me, I'm trying to sleep!"
"Tails I'm ashamed of you, why would you yell at poor Charmander like that?" Sonic scolded his best friend as he took the lizard Pokemon away. "Have some dignity for once!" Tails rolled his eyes and shook his head as he went back to sleep, hoping never to be disturbed again.
Mario was in the kitchen where his brother Luigi was done raiding the fridge, and now raiding the cabinets. Boxes were littered all over the kitchen floor, as Luigi was now scarfing on a box of Froot Loops in his sleepwalking state.
"Mario you better wake up Luigi real quick, otherwise we're gonna run out of snacks real quick!" said Proto Man, who was ordered by Mario to shed some light on the situation with a flashlight, no pun intended whatsoever.
Proto Man: Had no idea Luigi has a sleepwalking disorder...must be a side effect from all that stuff he had to go through during the events of Dream Team. Did Mario know about his brother's condition beforehand, or is he like everyone else and doesn't give a crap about Luigi's ailments and whatnot? You'd think that with a twin brother you should know everything about your twin, everything from the eye color down to their shoe size.
"Put the light-a on Luigi and see if-a that will do anything," instructed Mario, and Proto Man did as he was told, shining the flashlight on the green plumber. Once the light was on him, Luigi looked at Mario and Proto Man like a deer in headlights, before returning to chowing down on the cereal.
"Shining light on Luigi just won't cut it, we have to be more aggressive if we wanna wake up Luigi," stated Proto Man. This robot is not the kind to get aggressive, unless Dr. Wily is involved. But the old man is either in jail, or recovering from Roboneza in the hospital (he's the only known human to catch this disease), so Proto Man has nothing to worry about...for the time being. "What if hitting him can wake him up for good? Let's hit him in the head with a broom!"
"No, no, and-a no! We would give-a poor Luigi a concussion, would-a you want that?" Concussions aren't really that big of a deal...if you're NFL commissioner Roger Goodell! Ayoooo!
"Of course, Luigi would be put into an even deeper sleep, and once he wakes up, he'll awake from his sleepwalking! It'll be a huge payoff, though Luigi might suffer from significant memory loss depending on how hard we hit him. But we sometimes forget that he exists, so everything will be evened out!"
"I won't let-a you hit Luigi by-a any means, we'll just have to wake-a him up another way!" Mario continued the conversation with Proto Man, unaware that Luigi was now urinating inside a box of saltine crackers. As if they couldn't get any more salty...
"Um, Mario..." Proto Man caught Luigi on the act, and Mario soon saw his brother's actions with his own eyes. He ran towards Luigi, but the green plumber ran away at the nick of time, as Mario slid unto the floor, his face rubbing against the kitchen floor. So close, yet so far...
Luigi: *looks at the camera with intrigue, his face closing in on the lens, until he nose hits said lens causing the plumber to fall backwards onto the floor*
"Told ya we should have whacked Luigi in the head with a broom," Proto Man said to Mario, as the plumber slowly raised his head off of the floor. "The night is still young, we oughta wake Luigi up before he causes any more ruckus."
"We will-a wake up Luigi, one-a way or another..." Mario vowed. "...and we are-a NOT using a broom." Proto Man was completely on board with Mario right up to the moment he said the latter part of his response.
"Just exactly what we needed, the lights in the mansion to go out..." Samus mumbled as she took Pikachu and Pichu to where the motherboard of the mansion's security system was located, carrying a mini flashlight in her hand. The bounty hunter expects that the security system drained the mansion of its power, thereby causing the lights to go out. "Knew I should have been the one in charge of the system, X can't do a good thing by himself..."
"Hey good lookin'...what's cookin'?" a certain racer by the name of Captain Falcon greeted Samus once the light shone on him. "Couldn't miss a pretty face like yours i the pitch-black darkness...hey where are you going?!" Samus ignored Falcon, like he was just a grain of rice on the floor, as she continued on her way. "Wait up Samus, I gotta speak with you for a hot minute, it won't be long!"
"Like I would believe in any of your perverted lies." Why is it that Samus is constantly the target of Captain Falcon's affection, what's so about her that makes her pleasing to Falcon's eyes? Samus is but a highly modest individual, never did she consider herself to be "hot", "smoking", or any other adjectives thirsty men would use to objectify girls.
"No, Samus, it's something serious..." Samus groaned and came to a stop, as she turned around to face Captain Falcon. "...I think I know the main reason as to why the mansion's lights went out." Will Samus buy Falcon out, or will be continue to have her doubts about him?
"If this is a lousy attempt to woo me over, then you'll have to suffer from a few consequences..." But just when it seemed like things were heading in the latter direction... "So fill me in about this 'main reason' you speak of..." ...it looks like Samus could actually trust Captain Falcon, for once in her life.
"Don't know about you Link, but I got a seriously bad feeling about this," Cloud said to his Hylian friend as the two swordsmen were walking deep into the woods, for reasons unknown. But there was one reason...earlier in the day, Link and Cloud were told by Fox and Falco to meet them in an open field, following along a trail in the woods. And the duo are on the trail, doubtful about what may transpire.
Cloud: Fox sent me and Link a text message, telling us to meet him in an open field. He said to "be there, or be squared"...but we're not afraid, Fox isn't that big of a threat, right Link?
Link: *looks around nervously* What did you say? Oh yeah, Fox, he's not that tough, he's a softie, softer than a marshmallow...
Cloud: Says the guy who's not even aware of his own surroundings...sure you aren't scared of Fox?
Link: *snorting* Me, scared of Fox? Why would I be scared of a guy who can't live five minutes without his blaster?
Cloud: And you can't last over a minute without your Master Sword or your shield.
Link: *gives the camera a pained facial expression*
After a long walk, Link and Cloud would arrive at the open field, seeing Fox and Falco standing apart from one another, hands behind their backs. A third figure would walk up to the pilots and stand between the middle of them...Wolf O'Donnell. What would a guy like him be doing with Fox and Falco.
"You've finally made it...we sure hope you're ready," Wolf said to Link and Cloud, bracing themselves for what Fox and Falco may have up their sleeves. "Just as my comrades are ready..." Suddenly Wolf's troupe - Panther Caroso, Leon Powalski, Pigma Dengar, and Andrew Oikonny - appeared, as they walked up to join Fox, Falco, and Wolf. What exactly are the Star Fox pilots planning...?
"Knew they were planning something sneaky!" Link gritted his teeth as he did the most predictable thing he could ever do - pull out his Master Sword. Hard for the Hylian to imagine life without his trusty weapon. "C'mon Cloud, we can take them on!"
"Gimme that..." a now irritated Cloud grabbed Link's sword and threw it behind him, like it wasn't even worth a penny. Link would go fetch his sword, but that would make him a wimp in the eyes of Wolf and company...now's not the time to make any bad impressions.
"Alright boys, let's get 'em!" Fox said as he and his crew marched towards Link and Cloud, both men getting on the offensive. Falco grabbed Cloud and threw him to the ground with much force, while Pigma grinded Link's face in the dirt. Oh how the tables have turned.
"You like that, you like that?!" the pig taunted Link, smearing the Hylian's face all over the ground. Panther, Leon, and Andrew proceeded to give Cloud a Boyz In Da Hood beatdown, kicking him repeatedly while the swordsman covered his head with his hands.
"Back away from him, I say, back, back!" Fox ordered the three pilots, who did as they were told backing away from Cloud. Fox lifted Cloud up to his feet - and threw him against a randomly placed car, Cloud's head crashing through the car window. "Don't think we're done yet, boys!" As Master Hand would say...what in the name of Masahiro Sakurai is going on?!
Speaking of Master Hand, the creator of the Smash Universe found the power outage as an excuse for him to scare unsuspecting brawlers. He had found Pit walking in the halls, using his cellphone as a flashlight, returning to his room. Master Hand sneaked up on the angel, and when the time was right...
"BOO!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, causing Pit to shriek and drop his phone, likely cracking the screen in the process. Nothing like a quick visit to his wireless provider to solve the malady. "One down, only many more to go!"
Master Hand: This absolutely blows, why did the power outage have to happen when everyone's in their rooms? How do the residents expect me to scare them when they least expect it? That's how horror movies are huge box office successes, right?
"Aw man, now I have to change my pants, thanks a lot Master hand!" Pit grimaced as he walked off, albeit uncomfortably. A highly distinguishable smell penetrated the surrounding area; you know what happened. Master Hand continued on his way, aspiring to scare more people, when he came across Luigi, who was looking at him with intrigued eyes.
"Luigi you did it completely wrong, I'm the one that's supposed to approach you, not the other way around!" said Master Hand, assuming that Luigi was trying to spook the giant hand. "Also, why are you looking at me like that, that stare of yours is more unnerving than your death glare!"
Luigi was still sleepwalking, so he didn't answer Master Hand at all. Instead, he walked past the giant hand to inspect a vase, holding it in his hands before dropping on the floor. Whether he did it on purpose or by accident, we might never know. However, it won't save him from the wrath of Palutena, who opened the door to her room after hearing the sound of the vase breaking.
"Who dares to break my lovely vase?!" the goddess of light frowned, and saw Luigi, the perpetrator, standing near the evidence and not doing a thing. "Luigi, why would you break my vase, do you not know how much that vase meant to me?!"
"To be honest that vase has little to no significance, it's like all the other vase, its only importance is to serve as home decoration," Master Hand pointed out, only to receive a glare from Palutena. You have to admit, the Smash Universe creator presented a very valid point.
Palutena: The vase near my room was a lovely gift from Wario. I would want to say that the nice things Wario has been doing for me lately is creepy, but everything he has done - handing me gifts and showing courtesy - just seems so genuine, so I'll hold my suspicions kept under the rug unless Wario tries to pull something funny.
"Apologize for breaking that vase!" Palutena demanded of Luigi - who ignored Palutena and walked away from the goddess of light and the remnants of the vase. We could either say that Luigi either a boss or a savage, but sadly the plumber is still in his sleepwalking state, and won't even remember the actions he did this night.
"Gotcha!" Just then, Mario leaped out of nowhere and into Luigi, knocking his twin brother to the floor. Master Hand and Palutena watched as Proto Man came over as Mario held Luigi down, and handcuffed Luigi. It was like deja vu from what transpired in the last episode, with Snake and the policemen.
"Nothing to see folks, just making Luigi pay for his mindless wrongdoings," Proto Man said to Master Hand and Palutena as he helped a now handcuffed Luigi to his feet. "Carry on." The robot walked Luigi away, with Mario following him.
"Know anyone that would be worth scaring?" Master Hand asked Palutena once Mario, Luigi, and Proto Man were out of sight. His bloodthirst for scaring others cannot be tamed by any means. "Your little lapdog in Pit was hardly a challenge for me..."
"So that's why Snake was producing cocaine in the gardens?!" Samus said in a response filled to the brim with shock and surprise. "He was trying to make money by selling cocaine to others?!" The bounty hunter was involved in a conversation with Captain Falcon, with Pikachu and Pichu serving as attentive ears. It would be Snake's intentions of making cocaine to sell for money that would even leave you in utter shock.
"That's what Snake told me prior to him getting arrested," replied Captain Falcon. "He also gave me another reason as to why he did it - he overheard that Mario's wedding budget skyrocketing dramatically due to the wedding being held at Safeco Field, so he wanted to help out Mario as much as possible by selling cocaine to others for money that can be contributed to said budget. That's also may why we have a power outage - Mario overlooked the light bill on purpose so he can save money for his wedding budget. It all makes sense, don't it?"
"Guess that perfectly explains everything...why don't we pay the light bill ourselves? Or better yet, get Wario to do it for us? He's pretty rich, and it's not like he uses his money for anything meaningful." The massaging chair from episode twelve, anyone?
"Doubt he has that much money on him now - he's been spending a lot of his cash to woo Palutena, getting her things like a foot massager, some jewelry, a purse, and a bunch of other cliche crap to buy for girls..." By the sound of it, Captain Falcon is coming off as very salty.
Captain Falcon: Wario has something that I don't, and that's being filthy rich! While Wario is buying all these gifts for Palutena, I'm stuck making monthly payments for my Blue Falcon, in order to use it outside of the F-Zero Grand Prix! They don't force NASCAR drivers to go through such unnecessary labor!...Though I don't think NASCAR drivers use the cars they drive in racing in their everyday lives, so I just made a slightly terrible comparison...
"Well if Wario isn't available, who else are we gonna get to pay the light bill?" questioned Samus. "Wario is the only one that has a surplus of money..." An interesting idea conjured in Samus' head. "Not to mention Zelda and Peach." The two princesses are pretty affluent, being rulers of their respective kingdoms, though no one really ask them for money.
"We can't ask Peach, it would devastate her if she found out that Mario didn't pay the light bill," stated Captain Falcon. "Why don't we ask Zelda instead?"
"Flipped all the switches on this dumb box and nothing seems to be working..." Zelda shook her head, configuring the circuit-breaker box in the garage. Bowser Jr. was with the princess to provide moral support and to serve as a possible fall guy. You'll never know when you might need one. "I know Mario paid the light bill, he pays it whenever possible!"
"Perhaps the transaction didn't go through," suggested Bowser Jr., not knowing how paying bills works. Can't fault him for being relatively young. "Give it some time, and eventually the lights will come on!"
"There you are Zelda, we've been looking all over for you!" Captain Falcon entered the garage, having to maneuver through the loads of unused crap the brawlers own, but never cared for because it's mainly in the garage. "You're just the gal we needed to see!"
"I hope you haven't forgotten that Link and I are still in a relationship." Zelda is clearly under the assumption that Falcon is trying to woo her over to his side. "And who are you referring to when you said 'we'?" Zelda would breathe a silent sigh of relief when she saw Samus, Pikachu, and Pichu enter the garage, having to maneuver through the garage junk as well. For a moment there, the princess of Hyrule was under the assumption that Captain Falcon had brought some dudes over and introduce them to her.
"This is a mere yes-or-no question that we need you to answer," said Samus. "Do you have any funds necessary...to pay the light bill?" In that very moment, Zelda's worst fears were instantly realized...
...meanwhile, back at the field, Link and Cloud were still getting beat up by Fox and company, with Fox kicking Link against a tree, and Leon beat Cloud senselessly with a baseball bat, enough to make the swordsman bleed. Now with Leon, his actions aren't much of a shock, for the chameleon is one deranged weirdo. Fox's actions, however, are inexcusable, what would Krystal make of her boyfriend's behavior?
Fox: Our senseless beating of Link and Cloud actually has a purpose...but the purpose won't be revealed until the time is right. For now, the bloodshed shall continue until further notice...
"You boys had enough already?" Wolf questioned Link and Cloud, pummeling their faces on the ground. Both men were bruised and battered, taking the beatdown of a lifetime (or at least in a very long time).
"Yes, please, just put us out of our misery!" Link pleaded for mercy. The Hylian was wishing for his torture to end; Cloud possessed similar sentiments, but he wasn't as whiny as Link was.
"Aaaaaand scene!" Knuckles exclaimed as he and Slippy Toad - the unlovable amphibian carrying a digital camera in his hand - came out of a nearby bush, as Wolf let go of Link and Cloud. "Excellent work boys, just the kind of stuff I needed for my first music video!"
"Music...video?" Cloud raised an eyebrow in perplexity as he and Link slowly got up. "You wanted us to come here and get beat up...for some lousy music video?" Oh, how much Cloud and Link regret listening to Fox and Falco...
"Yeah, Knuckles had this super wicked idea for a music video, it's supposed to be about these dudes getting beat up and whatnot, and Fox chose you chumps as the perfect candidates for said video!" explained Falco. "You certainly met our expectations, and for that, our filming is a rousing success!"
"What, did you seriously think we were gonna genuinely beat you up for real?" snorted Andrew. "Bunch of suckers you are!" Pigma, Panther, and Leon glanced at one another, not sharing Andrew's sentiments.
Leon: To be brutally honest with you...I would want to be paid twenty-five grand to pummel Link and Cloud, and any other sorry swordsman - want to see how strong and efficient they really are without their precious swords!
Pigma: I got my money on that Lloyd Irving kid, he's too stupid to fend for himself...remember at the wedding, when he did a split at the wedding after-party with TWO DRINKS in his hand? What rational person in their right mind would have two drinks at the same time?
Panther: Ah yes, good stuff, good stuff indeed...what a moron that boy is...
"And we got it all on camera!" Slippy chirped, petting the digital camera. "All there's left to do is go to the mansion and edit everything, and we'll have a somewhat finished product!"
"We tell NO ONE what went down tonight," Cloud said to Link, who zipped up his lips with an imaginary zipper. The swordsmen may not tell the others, but what about Fox and company?
Tails soundly slept away, cozy on his pillow while Sonic and Charmander...did stuff together (hard to hang out with a Pokemon when you're a somewhat inexperienced trainer) when the smell of smoke infiltrated the fox's nostrils. The smoke prompted Tails to wake up, and he saw Charmander, using his flame breath on blueprints that Sonic had given him. Bear in mind that these blueprints happen to be Tails' - and they're likely to be no more.
"Sonic why are you making that Charmander set my blueprints on fire, I have yet to use them!" Tails scolded his best friends, dismayed that Sonic makes a myriad of poor choices in his life. Inserting a portal to the Underworld in the ball pit room, washing clothes in the kitchen sink, filling the mansion's swimming pool with liquid lead (hence the reason why the mansion no longer has a swimming pool to this very day) - these are some of the many poor choices Sonic has made, and may continue to make until he learns a lesson or two.
"You kept telling me you would use the blueprints to make stuff, but you kept falling back on your promise time and time again," replied Sonic. "Also, it was getting chilly in here, so I had to start a fire to keep myself warm. Don't worry, I'll put the fire out once I go to bed!"
"It sure does feel kinda chilly in here..." In that moment, Tails suddenly realized something. "Isn't the smoke detector supposed to go off or something, since you're making a fire and smoke is...why hasn't anyone come inside this room yet to investigate, shouldn't the smoke be spreading?!"
"Um, Tails, the smoke detecting system is electrical, which means that the detectors aren't working! A real genius would have figured that out by now! Hmm, not that smart I see, kinda knew you were slightly dumb..." Sonic must feel like the proudest person in all of America, making that jab at Tails.
Sonic: Charmander has been nothing but high maintenance for me - he's like an adorable baby, every second he demands attention, and I have to give him that attention or else he'll burst into a crying fit! That's one of the reasons I don't plan on having kids...Amy wouldn't mind that, right? *flashes a nervous look* ...Right?
"I'm telling you Mario, Sonic is our best option for waking up Luigi, we could have whacked Luigi with a broom but apparently you're against that," Proto Man said to Mario, carrying the flashlight, as the robot opened the door to Sonic's and Tails' room. Once the door was open, Mario gasped when he saw the fire burning ablaze, prompting him to take out his F.L.U.D.D. and douse the fire with it.
"Another fire taken care of!" said the F.L.U.D.D., before turning its attention to Sonic and Tails. Whenever Sonic does something wrong and Tails is present, Tails has to share half of the blame, most of the time. "Now why would you two bozos start a fire in the middle of the night, when everyone's in their rooms? Have you got any sense?"
"Don't blame me, blame Sonic, he's the one who brought that Charmander inside the room and start a fire!" Tails pointed at the blue-furred perpetrator, Sonic. "I've been trying to sleep for the longest now, and Sonic's antics keep waking me up!" Mario and Proto Man both made funny faces, even they found the idea of Tails going to bed after eleven to be asinine.
"Why is-a that Charmander even-a here...?" questioned Mario. "Ah, no-a matter, it can be-a of great use-a to us. Sonic, would-a you mind bringing Charmander with-a us?"
"Yes, my name is Princess Zelda, and I would like to pay the light bill for the Smash Mansion," Zelda spoke on the phone with whoever supposed to handle the light bill, in a room with Bowser Jr., Captain Falcon, Samus, Pikachu, and Pichu. Why Pikachu and Pichu are even here, who knows why. "I believe that a certain man by the name of Mario was supposed to pay the bill..."
"Oh yes, Mr. Mario was supposed to pay the bill last week or two," said the person on the phone. "But he said that he'll pay the bill 'in due time', and refused to clarify what he meant by that." This did nothing but make Zelda and company grow more suspicious.
"Is it fine if I pay the light bill now? The lights had went out a while ago, and it had never occurred to me that the light bill was neglected." Zelda will likely have a word with Mario, if what Captain Falcon had told her was indeed true.
"Yes ma'am, we can take care of the transaction right now, just give me your billing information and we shall go from there."
Zelda: If Captain Falcon's theory about Mario and the light bill is true, and I'm afraid there will have to be A LOT of explaining from Mario. You can't just forsake one of the more crucial bills that need to be paid in order to save for your wedding! (I'd honestly be fine if it was the cellphone bill instead, it's not like any of us ever go out or anything.) But still, now's not the time for Mario to be making any unadvised risks.
In a matter of minutes, the transaction was done, and Zelda paid off the light bill with whatever funds she had.
"They should be turning on the lights sometime soon, once they process the bill," said Zelda. "Now we need to go look for Mario..."
"To be honest with-a you boys, I thought-a Luigi's sleepwalking issue was-a resolved, but unfortunately it still-a persists to this day," Mario said to Proto Man and Sonic (holding Charmander) as the three walked through the hallways. "It's been a bit-a of a recurring problem..."
"Didn't Bowser once mention some dude named Dr. Snoozemore that specializes in dreams and all that good stuff?" asked Proto Man; Bowser alluded to this fellow back in episode six. "Perhaps he could provide a remedy to Luigi's sleepwalking disorder."
"I had consulted Dr. Snooze-a more in the past, not even he-a could...oh no, where-a did Luigi go?!" Mario and his two companions arrived at the room where Luigi was...or at least he was supposed to be. Only thing left in the room was a chair, and a bunch of chains in said chair. The green plumber was chained down to the chair, but miraculously he escaped - in his sleepwalking nonetheless! "He was supposed-a to be chained down-a to that chair!"
"Whaddaya know, Luigi is a lowkey Houdini!" Sonic complimented the plumber's escape artist abilities. "You learn something new every day...or night...whatever."
"Told you we should have whacked Luigi with a broom while we had a chance..." Proto Man mentioned to Mario. Why not use his charge shot on Luigi instead? Is it that whacking someone with a broom would be as funny as it would be effective?
Link, Cloud, Knuckles, Slippy, Fox, Falco, Wolf, and his gang arrived at the Smash Mansion, all caught by surprise when the walked into complete darkness. Link and Cloud suddenly grew weary, hoping there wasn't another setup in which they might get beat up.
But immediately the lights in the mansion came back on, and dancing in the middle of the foyer with Mr. Game and Watch was none other than Luigi, who was twirling the 2-D man around like a ballerina in his sleepwalking state. And it had to be Wolf's cronies to witness this.
"Dancing with another man, what a dork this guy is!" Andrew snorted as he, Leon, Panther, and Pigma mocked Luigi. "Even after he got married, he's still a dweeb at heart!" Link, Cloud, Fox, Falco, and Wolf understandably felt embarrassed for Luigi, when the plumber ever gets ridiculed by Wolf's groupies, he'll never know why...
Slippy: Andrew has a seriously valid point though...Luigi is indeed a dweeb. The fact that HE got married before his obviously cooler brother is just baffling to me.
Just then, Sonic came around the corner, tackling Luigi to the floor and holding him down. Mario, carrying Charmander, and Proto Man, carrying a broom, came over to make sure Luigi was held down for good.
"Proto Man, put-a the broom away," Mario ordered the robot; Proto Man groaned and went to go put away the broom. So much for senselessly whacking people in the head...
"Luigi is getting away!" alerted Sonic as the plumber tried to crawl away from the hedgehog. And nobody did a single thing. "Um, I said Luigi is getting away! You guys just gonna stand there like bums?" Mario (dropping Charmander gently on the floor), Link, Cloud, Knuckles, Fox, Falco, Wolf and his gang leaped to action, jumping in on Luigi and keeping him down on the floor to keep him from advancing. Slippy would join, but he can't possibly put the digital camera in danger, he captured some great film with it and cannot go to waste by any means whatsoever.
"I see Mario has yet to wake up Luigi..." X said as he and Rosalina showed up, witnessing Mario and company holding down Luigi to the best of their ability. "I feel like a fool for thinking he would waken his brother up by now..."
"Give Mario some time, it's not like you expected Mario to complete his mission as soon as possible," Rosalina stood up for the plumber, only to receive a questionable look from X. The robot did expect Mario to wake up Luigi in due time - Luigi is his brother, after all.
"There he is!" Captain Falcon appeared, pointing at Mario, and soon his group of Samus, Zelda, Bowser Jr., Pikachu, and Pichu appeared as well. "Looks like he's pretty busy doing...whatever the heck he's doing with those fellas. How are we supposed to get his attention?" Pikachu and Pichu looked at one another and nodded, for they knew what to do...
"Pika...CHHHHUUUUU!" Pikachu unleashed his signature move, Thunderbolt, on Mario and company, and his pre-evolution buddy Pichu would do the same, shocking the plumber, Star Wolf, Fox, Falco, and Knuckles in the process. It was an electric spectacle (no pun intended there) that left everyone in awe.
X: One thing I will say about Pikachu's "Thunderbolt"...it's not the best electric-type out there (Bolt Strike), but it's still pretty effective and can give you quite the shock...Team Rocket knows that very well.
"Ooh...what-a happened?" Luigi rubbed his head as he slowly got up. Luigi was now out of his sleepwalking state, but it didn't take the plumber that long to recuperate when a singed Wolf (everyone who was electrocuted was singed) grabbed him by the collar. That's no way to treat a person who just woke up from sleepwalking.
"Who do you think you are, shocking me like that?!" Wolf interrogated Luigi, who believes the plumber inadvertently shocked him. In case you may remember from Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, Luigi wields the element of electricity, hence his nickname the Green Thunder. Too bad we never get to see him use his electric powers.
"I would-a never electrocute you in-a any way, I respect-a you too much to do-a such a thing!" Wolf didn't buy Luigi out, instead he strangled the plumber out of rage. And Mario didn't tolerate this one bit.
"You leave my-a brother Luigi alone, he-a meant no harm!" frowned Mario, sticking up for his bro. "Besides, why would-a he shock you, when he rarely uses-a his electrical abilities?" Luigi's powers would have been useful in turning the mansion's lights back on...if the people in charge of the lights allowed it.
"Yeah, listen to the man, Luigi probably doesn't even know what's going on!" said Link, siding himself with Mario. "He might have been sleepwalking, for all we know! Right Mario?" Mario, who has full knowledge of the situation, nodded his head.
"Oh yeah? Fight me!" And apparently that's exactly what Link did, as he and Wolf started fighting one another - much to Zelda's chagrin, as the princess facepalmed and turned away. The fight would escalate when Mario tried to restrain Link, and Luigi tried to restrain Wolf. Leon, Pigma, and Andrew did not appreciate Luigi holding back their leader, so they tangoed with the green plumber. With Luigi getting bullied by the three Star Wolf pilots, Wolf went back to work with Link, only to be stopped by Cloud and Knuckles, and eventually those three would be duking it out, with Link joining in, and Mario joining in as well against his will. While this went on, Slippy recorded the brawl, hoping to upload the video to Worldstar or something like that. The bullfrog can't resist passing up on an opportunity like that...
"Thank goodness we don't get visitors around this time," Samus remarked as the brawling went on, while the others watched, not risking jumping into the fray and stop the violence once and for all. Charmander, Sonic's Pokemon buddy, didn't like what he was seeing and as a result...
"CHAAAAARRRR!" the lizard Pokemon unleashed a Flamethrower attack on Mario and company, and for a second time the men were all singed. On another note, the fighting did stop...so that's a huge plus.
X: Oh, and another thing I left out - Flamethrower isn't technically the strongest fire-type move, but it can...wait a sec, how was that Charmander able to use Flamethrower in the first place? What level is he supposed to be?!
"Mario, Mario, it's absolutely terrible!" Master Hand showed up, clearly in a state of distress. "The lights are back on, meaning that I can no longer scare unsuspecting brawlers in the dark! I was so close to scaring Ganondorf..." Master Hand stopped when he saw Mario and the fighting men, covered in black soot. "Anyone care to explain what transpired here?"
Inside Master Hand's room, Mario would explain to the creator of the Smash Universe about Luigi sleepwalking, the fight he was engaged in, and how Charmander burnt him to a crisp. And as a notion by Zelda and Captain Falcon, who were both present in the room with their arms folded, Mario would also have to tell Master Hand about the light bill...
"You purposefully neglected to pay the light bill just to save money for the wedding budget?!" Master Hand boomed, but not loudly enough to disturb anyone asleep (*cough Tails *cough*). "You know this is why I was against Safeco Field being the wedding venue, bigger and better venue means more money to be spent!"
"But that's not all, Master Hand - Snake knew about the high wedding budget, so he sold cocaine all of last week to help out with the wedding budget," stated Captain Falcon. "So Mario has some blame, regarding that matter..."
"I see...Mario, in wake of these revelations, I want you to make as much money as possible so you'll fulfill your silly wedding budget. Maybe you and Pac-Man could actually join the workforce for once, and make some bucks, or you can get your friends some jobs and go from there - just don't neglect paying any bills and getting your fellow brawlers arrested! Do I make myself clear?"
"Y-Yes sir, it won't-a happen again!" Mario sheepishly said as he gave Master Hand a thumbs up and exited the room. He would see Slippy sitting at Master Hand's doorway, watching the film of Link and Cloud getting beat up on his digital camera and smiling to himself like it was some lewd film; Mario glanced at the bullfrog before shaking his head and walking away.
"Yo, Slippy, are you gonna bring us the digital camera or not, Wolf and his pals want to review the film we got!" Knuckles called out from afar. He wants his first music video to be legit, although he hasn't even recorded a song yet. How backwards is that?
"I'm coming!" Slippy called out as he stopped the film and got up, quickly heading to the recording studio.
Sonic: There's a famous quote that rings true to this day - "If you love something, you set it free". And alas, I have to return my buddy Charmander to the Pokemon sanctuary, as ordered by Master Hand. Charmander and I had a lot of fun together in our room, and some of our activities were frowned upon by Tails (but Tails is a weirdo who goes to bed at eleven ON A FRIDAY, so he wouldn't know the definition of fun even if Spongebob Squarepants had to teach it to him). But I'll cherish the short moments we had together...
"What are you waiting for Sonic, just walk Charmander into the sanctuary where he belongs," X ordered Sonic, though the hedgehog was reluctant to do so. Sonic knelt down at Charmander's feet, making this farewell bigger than it's really supposed to be.
"I'm gonna miss you pal, stay safe in there..." the hedgehog petted Charmander on the head, before slowly getting up and letting out a sigh. Then he walked the lizard Pokemon into the sanctuary, and after the deed was done, he came out with a face written with grief.
"You do realize you can see Charmander another time, right?" X was hoping Sonic hadn't forgotten this, it's not like brawlers are restricted from entering the sanctuary. Sonic's response may or may not surprise you...
"Yeah I know, I'm just a little salty about having to put up with Tails until then. Hard to get along with a kid who goes to bed early on the weekends." If that's the case, then why can't Sonic just switch out Tails for Knuckles as a roommate?
But who knows, Tails may be in the right - for all we know, he might be saving himself from ever sleepwalking. You wouldn't want to be sleepwalking all over the place like Luigi did, would you?