Author's Note:
As advised from Darth Sigma 86, I shall return to updating this story on Fridays, rather than Thursdays. (Now that I think of it, I haven't posted a chapter on Friday since chapter 51...) Regardless of the release date, this won't prevent me from answering guest reviews...
"Question, which Zero are you using in this fic? Megaman X version or Megaman Zero version?"
The Zero in this story is the Megaman X version. Next up, we have Kirby 629:
"I'm sure you own a Mii Fighter of yourself so why don't you add yourself to the story."
Joke's on you, my friend, I don't even have a Mii Fighter! Hahahahahaha...but even if I had a Mii Fighter created in my likeness, I would never add myself to this story. I don't do self-inserts. Smasherfan88 has returned, and with a whopping seven requests:
"1. we see a Kirby character (who I thought should've been playable in smash 4) the one of a kind...Bandana Dee! (as fans call him, Nintendo just calls him Waddle Dee)
2. It seems Ike has not appeared a lot, so could we see more Ike?
3. More CRAZY HAND
4. King Boo was at luigis wedding, it just seemed off to me of him not doing anything villainous, could we maybe see some kind of evil plot from the king of ghost?
5. I suggest Corrin go to comic-con(or maybe even Star Wars celebration 2017 when that happens this year) where Ian McDiarmid is (the actor of Emporer Palpatine/Darth Sidious/Sheev Palpatine) and Corrin thinks he's not the Sith Lord, Emporer Palpatine (mostly a suggestion since I think this would be funny)
6. Can Yooka-Laylee(aka Yooka and Laylee, from the game Yooka-Laylee, since it's made by playtonic, which is made up of old rare employees and people who made Banjo-Kazooie) make an appearance? (or Banjo and Kazooie...or both)
7. Remember when Link and Mario found their old T.V. Shows? Can we see Kirby and Sonic finding their respective shows? (Kirby right back at ya, and um...one of the various sonic cartoons)
1. I'll see what I can do with Bandanna Dee.
2. Expect to see Ike featured in this chapter, and in future chapters.
3. Hopefully Crazy Hand will make an appearance prior to Mario's wedding.
4. Of course, you just gotta be patient...
5. Hmm, sounds intriguing.
6. Yooka-Laylee, yes, Banjo-Kazooie...we'll just have to see about that.
7. I got something planned that might be even better...
Last up is Derick Lindsey:
"I just wanted to know who you were rooting for [in the Super Bowl]...I'm only rooting for the Patriots just because Salty Falco would be funnier to read about then Bragging Falco..."
I'm a Buffalo Bills fan, and since the Bills play in the same division as the Patriots, I was rooting against the Pats by default. I do agree that Salty Falco would be funnier than Bragging Falco - perhaps Tom Brady and a few Patriots players discovered "Smash Life" during halftime, and read about Falco's fanboying over the Falcons, and engineered the comeback in the Super Bowl so the Falcons would lose and they would get to see Falco being salty in this chapter. But that's a theory for another day...
Episode 60: Valentine's
Valentine's Day. The one day of the year in which a lover expresses their love for their boyfriend or girlfriend, either through chocolate, candy, or even a love song. Can't go wrong with either one of those methods, just as long as you know what you're doing. One bad mistake could put your relationship in a shaky state.
Even though Valentine's Day was on a Tuesday this year, Master Hand wanted to celebrate the day earlier than usual, since unlike Halloween last year, the giant hand had an actual plan he wished to carry out, and pretty much everyone in the mansion will be a participant in this plan, whether they like it or not. Master Hand would ask every resident to do one thing, and one thing only...
...find a significant other as soon as possible, lest you wish to face any consequences.
For folks like Mario, Lucina, and Ganondorf, their significant others were always nearby in the mansion. For folks like Ness, Knuckles, and Bayonetta, they could just contact their significant others and tell them to come over to the mansion. But for folks like Meta Knight, Cilan, and Snake, finding a significant other would be hard.
Some brawlers also gave up their pride in order to meet Master Hand's commands. The male and female Inklings, despite being best friends, decided to become lovers, but only for a day. The Ice Climbers Nana and Popo, though we don't know if they're friends, siblings, or lovers, opted to go with the latter just for a day as well.
"Waiting for your girlfriend to arrive too, Roy?" Knuckles asked the swordsman, the two standing around in the foyer waiting for their girlfriends to arrive. Out of the two, Knuckles was the most nervous; his girlfriend was Rouge the Bat, and Rouge had a tendency to be very, very unpredictable...and flirtatious. She could make a tough guy like Shadow the Hedgehog blush.
"Yeah Lilina should be coming very soon, Lilina's a childhood friend of mine," responded Roy, prompting Knuckles to look at him like he was crazy. "What, I'm not allowed to to have a childhood friend as a girlfriend? At least I don't let Lilina steal stuff from me in my sleep!" On that remark, Knuckles stopped looking at Roy - he knew what the swordsman had said was too true.
Roy: What's funny is, everyone was under the assumption that my lover was Lyn, probably due to Bowser's incessant ship-teasing (why a grown man like him even does that is beyond my level of understanding). So when I told my buddies that Lilina will be coming over as my Valentine, everyone looked at me like I had gone insane, and assumed I was cheating on Lyn! Good thing my man Marth was there to clear things up.
Knuckles: Rouge stealing my stuff is nothing new, she has been doing it for the longest now. What she would do is stop by the mansion when everyone is in the bed, hack the security system (she's a master hacker, in case you didn't know, and that makes her hotter), and with the security system down, she sneaks her way inside my room and steal my stuff, before turning the security system back on once she's done and high-tailing out of the roomy like nothing ever happened! Last night, she stole my Air Jordans, AND my television, AND my Barbie Bridal Set, all without a single peep whatsoever! To make matters worse, my idiotic roommate Yoshi, who had stayed up all night "perfecting" some of his newest pairings, like Cilan and Wii Fit Trainer... *points at his open mouth to signify the how bad the pairing was* ...claimed that he didn't see Rouge stealing my stuff at all! Must not have been that observant then...oh and for the record, just pretend you never heard anything about that Barbie set. But if you must ask, that set was supposed to help me prepare for a future wedding, when I marry Rouge. I have to admit, the girl's a keeper...a keeper of my stuff.
Knuckles and Roy continued to wait in the foyer, until a certain white bat swooped down and landed behind Knuckles, smiling devilishly. This was none other than Rouge the Bat, who sneaked up on her man Knuckles...
"Happy Valentine's Day, my lovely Knuckles!" Rouge yelled at the echidna, making him shriek and jump into Roy's arms, sucking his thumb. Though he was a tough guy, the cunning nature of Rouge was enough to make Knuckles act the exact opposite. "Why hello there Roy, long time no see, how do you do?"
"I'm doing awesome, thanks for asking Rouge!" Roy happily answered the bat's question. How come Rouge greeted Roy much differently than her own boyfriend, what's up with that?!
A knock was at the front door, indicating that Lilina must have arrived. With Roy still holding Knuckles in his arms, Marth walked by and opened the front door, and saw four Fire Emblem ladies together - Nowi, Raven, Lilina, and Marth's wife, Caeda. Expect Caeda to turn a lot of heads today.
"Greetings, ladies, come right on in and make yourselves at home," Marth let the four ladies inside the mansion, and upon entering the foyer, Lilina saw her man Roy, still holding a frightened Knuckles. The moment Roy saw his woman, the swordsman dropped Knuckles to the floor like he was worthless trash and ran up to Lilina.
"Lilina!" Roy screamed in the name of love as he hugged Lilina and lifted her up in the air, spinning her around. Rouge and company looked on, feeling happy for the two; the only one that wasn't looking was Knuckles, who was now in a fetal position sucking his thumb. "Did you get here safely? Nobody harmed you or anything? How are you feeling today?" Roy would ask Lilina after putting her back on the floor.
"I'm doing fine Roy, quit being such a worrywart," Lilina smiled. "You kinda sound like a very overprotective father." A very overprotective father like Chrom? The man is always asking his daughter about her morale and well-being, like she was some hospital patient on the brink of death.
"I guess...that's what happens when you don't see your lover in such a long time. We haven't talked that much ever since our last date...you do remember the date, do you?" It was a rather embarrassing date for Roy; he and Lilina wet dining at a Japanese restaurant, and Roy made the dumb mistake of drinking a glass of lemonade prior to his date...and as you would imagine, it got the swordsman's bladder going. So when Roy had to go, he made a mad dash for the restroom, and he relieved himself...at the time he reached the restroom door.
"Yes I do remember, but I only remember the positives...just for your sake. I was just as humiliated on that day as you were, Roy." Lilina placed a reassuring hand on Roy, who flashed a smile. Gotta give Lilina some credit for being such a great girlfriend to Roy, able to sympathize with him and stuff.
Rouge: Don't tell anyone this, but I was hiding up in the ceiling of the mansion's foyer since last night. I turned the security system off...and then turned it back on and waited in the foyer for my moment to pounce. Whoever installed the security system didn't do that great of a job, considering I never was detected all night long... *strikes a seductive* ...or maybe I was too sexy to be detected by the system at all.
"I have been preparing something for you Caeda, it has been something I've taken a bit of pride in," Marth said to wife, involved in a conversation with a woman most residents assumed was just an imaginary woman. "I would show it to you right away, but I know you wish to settle down before..."
"No Marth, it's fine, I'm already settled," replied Caeda, who was now at the Smash Mansion for the first time - which meant there was a lot for her to explore. "Now that I'm here...would you mind showing me your room? You did say that you were roommates with Ike in that letter you wrote to me, did you not?"
"Why are you so interested in Ike, do you wish to see him?" Marth suddenly found himself scratching the back of his head, irked that Caeda would mention Ike of all people. The princess of Tayls was smirking at the hero-king, waiting for an answer, and there was an answer that the fair maiden preferred. "Fine, I suppose we can go see Ike, but I better not see you trying to flirt with the man..."
"A married woman like me flirting with others? Give me a break Marth, I'm not a skank..." And Tayls wouldn't want a skank in their mighty throne, would they?
So Marth, heeding to a command that he did not wish to carry out, escorted his loving wife Caeda to his room, and on the way, the hero-king and the pri"ncess were suddenly approached by Meta Knight and King Dedede. Never did Marth expect to see the two denizens of Dream Land together in such an instance.
"Marth we need to speak with you right away!" King Dedede grabbed the hero-king, and pulled him inside a nearby room, with Meta Knight following after; Caeda just looked on, wondering when Marth will be done.
"Alright you two, what do you want, can't you see I'm trying to spend some quality time with my wife Caeda?!" Marth frowned after being thrown inside the room. Both Meta Knight and King Dedede were genuinely surprised when Marth said that the woman walking next to him was his wife.
"We need your help finding us a woman before Master Hand punishes us," explained Meta Knight, who never had a romantic partner before. A mysterious, stoic swordsman like him wouldn't need a woman anyways. And a greedy, selfish king like King Dedede wouldn't need a woman either. "Will you find us one before it's too late? Who knows what Master Hand would do to us..."
"Since I refuse to let Master Hand harm anyone, I suppose I can put off my time with Caeda and lend a helping hand. We all have yet to learn why we would need a significant other, but whatever floats that giant hand's boat..."
King Dedede: Meta Knight, you never told me that Marth was actually married! This whole time, I thought him being married was just a lousy rumors, and you, one of the few who knew Marth well, never told anyone that...
Meta Knight: I did tell you that Marth was married, you lazy buffoon! You just never bothered to listen to me!
King Dedede: Don't feed me your lousy excuses, I understand if you may be somewhat envious of Marth having a hot babe as his wife, I bet you fantasize her feeding you grapes and wine! Don't try and hide it from me, bub!
Meta Knight: So what you're saying is Marth's wife feeds me even while I'm wearing my mask...I believe you're fantasizing right now.
King Dedede: *snaps out of a minor trance* ...am not, you're just imagining things!
"C'mon Falco, get over it, the Falcons lost, and the Patriots won," Fox said through the locked door of his room, accompanied by his girlfriend Krystal. Falco was in the room, and he had the door locked; the avian pilot, a huge Atlanta Falcons fan, was feeling pretty salty all week along about his team taking an L to the mighty New England Patriots, and hearing all the chatter about Tom Brady being the GOAT (at least when it came to quarterbacks) didn't help the bird that much. "Just be happy that the Falcons made it to the big game and fifteen other teams in their conference didn't."
"Hey guys, what's up?" asked Ema Skye as she approached Fox and Krystal, wondering why the couple was standing outside Fox's room. "Let me guess - Falco is still reeling after the Super Bowl and is continuing to sulk in the privacy of his room."
"Yup, you got it right Ema - the man can't stay in this room forever," replied Krystal; the blue vixen got to know Ema very well at the Christmas party, and some would say they became best friends on the spot. "There has to be some way to get him out."
"I need Falco to be my valentine for today, if it will please Master Hand. Falco may not be the best candidate, but hey, I'll take whomever I can get. Have you ever tried mentioning the Falcons choking in the Super Bowl to Falco?"
"Krystal and I decided against doing that, we thought that it would be..." Fox started off, only for a deviously smirking Ema to near the bedroom door, and yell the following to the oh so bitter Falco Lombardi...
"THE ATLANTA FALCONS BLEW A 25 POINT LEAD!" the forensics expert yelled at the top of her lungs. The remark was enough to get the now hot-blooded Falco all riled up, as the avian pilot opened the door in a snap and grabbed Ema by the collar. The forensics expert wasn't intimidated at all - in fact, she was grinning! She never expected Falco to go ham like that.
Fox: But that Super Bowl though...man that was an awesome game. What sucks now is that we now have to put up with Tom Brady fanboys claiming their beloved quarterback to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, only for the time being. Safe to say Falco hasn't been taking the loss well; really, the only time we see the guy is for breakfast and dinner. He'll have conversations with his fellow brawlers, ignoring any mention about the Super Bowl whatsoever, and then head back to his room and sulk. It's a good thing he didn't burn his Julio Jones jersey, even though that thing still stinks up the room to some extent.
"Do you not realize how much that factoid haunts me, do you know the torture I have to undergo as a sports fan from now on?!" frowned Falco, shaking Ema silly. "Whenever I tell someone that I root for the Falcons, they'll be all like, 'Oh, so you root for one of the biggest chokers in sports history, how troublesome!' And deep down I know you're gonna be that type of person! So what do you have to say to me? Say it now, or forever hold you piece!"
"...you wanna be my valentine for today?" asked Ema, unfazed by Falco shaking her. Falco, who had a strong, firm grip on the forensics expert, immediately released his hold on Ema, making Fox and Krystal surprised that Falco cooled down that quickly. In most cases, it would take the two several minutes to resolve his state of mind.
"Eh, I don't see why not, it's not like I have a valentine either," a now resolved Falco shrugged. Fox and Krystal were left dumbstruck as Falco walked past the couple. "What's up Fox and Krystal, why are y'all looking at me like that? You know it's rude to stare at others with your mouth agape, right?" Fox suddenly fainted to the floor, unable to comprehend what he had seen.
"Kohaku for the last-a time, you can't have-a Rotom as your valentine, he's a Pokemon and-a you're a human!" Mario tried to tell the young girl, who was profusely hugging the plasma Pokemon in the living room of Luigi's home. Mario, Luigi, and Hisui looked on, wondering whenever Kohaku would stop with the unnecessary hugging. "If you-a want, then I can ask-a Ike to be you valentine, he's-a single!"
"But Rotom is so cute and adorable, how can you not like him?" asked Kohaku, as she stroked Rotom's chin, or where the Pokemon's chin would be. Rotom giggled, enjoying the treatment very much with its arms folded behind its head. It could never recall Daisy or even Yuffie cuddling him like Kohaku was. "I could care less if we're not the same species, it doesn't take away from how precious Rotom is!"
"I do have to admit, when given the chance I can swoon plenty of charming ladies," remarked a grinning Rotom, now being filled with strange delusions of attraction due to the treatment Kohaku was giving it. Rubber would meet the road when the "charming ladies" find out that Rotom has no gender whatsoever.
Yuffie: Master Hand stopped by Luigi's home around twelve o'clock to "remind" me that I needed a boyfriend "real soon", or else he'll find a way to punish me, all while telling me the importance of this deed. If it's so important, then why did Master Hand bother telling me at the last minute, shouldn't he have told me earlier this week if he was planning extensively for some big shindig at the mansion? Sometimes I will never fully understand that guy...I can call him a guy, can I?
"So Hisui, who's your valentine-a going to be, have you found-a one yet?" Luigi would ask Hisui, who was chilling on the couch with one leg on the floor and the other leg resting on the furniture. To some, Hisui might not look like the ideal romantic type, but you'd be surprised - the teen sure loves to flirt with the ladies!
"I do indeed have a valentine, it's a friend of mine," answered Hisui, looking cool as he looked up at the ceiling. "Her name is Lithia Spodumene, she used to reside in Kohaku's Spiria for some time. I've tried to hit on the girl, but she would always play hard to get." Either that, or Hisui wasn't trying hard enough. "She should be arriving soon, don't know who'll be taking her though..."
Suddenly there was a sound of someone knocking on the screen door of Luigi's home. A curious Luigi headed to the back of his home where the screen door was and opened said door, letting a mysterious man inside. The man had long black hair and a red coat, and looked stoic as ever, probably even more so than Cloud.
"Thank you for letting me in Mr. Luigi, much greetings to you," the man thanked the plumber as he took a step inside the home. He followed Luigi to the living room, and suddenly found himself surprised when Mario, Kohaku, Hisui, and Rotom were all present, looking at him. This man was none other than Vincent Valentine, a Turk who underwent genetic modification from Professor Hojo, preventing him from aging. Basically he was like Captain Falcon's girlfriend Nowi, but only a thousand year younger. "Well well well, so much for making a stealth entrance...no doubt I haven't seen a few of these faces before..."
"Ah, Vincent Valentine, haven't seen-a you since Luigi's wedding!" exclaimed Mario, inside wondering why his brother Luigi would let a guy like Vincent in his house through the screen door in the back. To any stranger, Vincent would look an awfully lot like a completely shady individual, his deadpan stare promising to commit some devious deeds. "You have never met-a the Hearts, did-a you? The girl with the long black-a hair is Kohaku Hearts, and her brother, Hisui Hearts, is the young-a lad resting on the couch!"
"Who's the strange, red thing smiling at me?" The strange, red thing Vincent was referring to was none other than Rotom, who was smiling and waving to the Turk. The plasma Pokemon was very close to checking out Vincent, but upon further inspection he learned that Vincent was a guy who happened to have long hair.
"That would-a be my pet-a Pokemon Rotom," explained Luigi, confusing Vincent a little considering that Rotom looked an awful lot like a standard Pokedex. "It can assume-a many different forms, and the form-a you see before-a you is its Pokedex form!"
Vincent Valentine: I could be with my woman Lucrecia Crescent, but she's in the lab in Nibelheim working on something for Professor Hojo, so I had no other choice but to give her the space and time she needed. So instead of having her as my valentine today, I have...
"Vincent you finally made it!" Yuffie, who had just came downstairs, exclaimed as she saw Vincent standing in the living room. The Turk quietly moaned as the ninja girl came running up to him, giving him a big hug. "Knew you would come around eventually!"
"Yeah, well you better be glad Lucrecia's busy right now with Hojo..." remarked Vincent, pushing Yuffie away from him. He was definitely not the kind of guy who would willingly accept hugs from others. "Was it too hard to ask Barret to be your valentine?"
"He's probably spending some time with his adopted daughter Marlene, so I didn't want to distract him from his 'father-daughter bonding' - the type of stuff Chrom and Lucina do. That kind of stuff means a whole lot to Barret, you know."
"Chrom is the father of Lucina?" Vincent raised an eyebrow, in utter disbelief he did not know this information before. "Here I thought they were siblings..." Mario chuckled at Vincent's ignorance, while Luigi and Hisui did their best to stifle their laughs.
Diddy Kong: Thanks to the wonderful help of Cilan and Palutena, I have prepared the most epic banana split known to man, and monkey! It's 4.5 feet long, and five meters wide, and it has the works - ice cream, bananas, chocolate, whipped cream, cherries, and caramel to top it off! My lady friend and potential girlfriend Dixie Kong will be arriving soon, and I plan to share my beloved banana split with her and eat it together! I practically stayed up all last night to ensure the banana split was without blemish, and now my time has come! Nothing can stop me now, this is an opportunity I simply cannot squander by any means, any means at all!
Unfortunately for Diddy Kong, the spidermonkey would squander his opportunity - moments after the talking head segment was completed, Diddy took the large bowl that had the banana split and carried it through the hallway, but the bowl was too heavy for him and eventually the spidermonkey dropped the bowl onto the floor, wasting its contents. Now in a furious state of panic, Diddy Kong tried to clean up the mess, grabbing a dustpan and a small broom and sweeping up the ice cream and whatnot, but to no avail. Donkey Kong came near and saw his nephew cleaning up the mess, pitying him as time went on.
"Need some help cleaning that up?" the gorilla asked Diddy Kong, who was too busy to even pay attention to his uncle. "Allow me to fetch one of the maids for you!" So DK retreated, and later came back with Flora. The maid gasped as she was taken back at how big the mess was; she knew that it would take more than just one individual to clean the mess up.
"Stand back Diddy, let a professional like myself handle this!" Flora went inside a nearby closet, grabbed a large broom and a giant dustpan, and effortlessly swept the mess the banana split left behind.
"Hey woman whaddaya doing, I was doing just fine by myself!" frowned Diddy, ticked that he was suddenly pushed to the side. "How about you scram and clean someone else's mess, and leave me be!" Donkey Kong was about to scold his nephew, before he saw that Flora was slowly starting to tear up. Diddy just told the maid to stop doing her job, and she was unable to handle it; if someone were to tell Flora to stop cleaning up the kitchen, poor girl would have a panic attack in a heartbeat. Flora, a maid with severe self-esteem issues, took a great amount of pride in her work as a maid, and to have someone like Diddy to tell her to stop the one thing she felt she was capable of doing was devastating.
"B-B-But I was only just trying to help you...I don't mean any harm whatsoever..." stammered Flora, as Diddy suddenly realized what he had done. To make things worse for the spidermonkey, Dark Pit showed up, and saw Flora about to cry.
"Diddy what in the heck did you do to Flora, why'd you upset her?" the doppelganger frowned at the monkey as he went to console Flora, preventing the maid from breaking down into tears. "Let's go Flora, we don't need bums like Diddy making you cry!" Dark Pit, holding onto Flora, walked the maid away from the scene, glaring down Diddy as he and his presumed woman made their exit.
"Well we have all the cleaning supplies we need, now let's clean this mess up before someone like Master Hand sees it!" Donkey Kong grabbed the broom and dustpan Flora was using and cleaned up the mess, while Diddy Kong just stood there, feeling some regret for his previous actions.
Dark Pit: Flora's self-esteem issues are more grave than you think...one day she came to me while I was owning Pit at video games, and she asked if she was the prettiest female in the mansion. Wanting to keep it real while making her happy, I told Flora that she looked pretty, but not pretty enough to be the prettiest, and just like that, on the spot, she ran away crying her eyes out. And I was this close to saying that she looked "alright" I would have lied to her and told her that she was the most beautiful face the mansion has ever seen, but that would fill her up with way too much confidence, and too much confidence can break ya down. *cockily smirks while pointing thumb at himself* But if you're like me, and know how to use your confidence correctly, then it's smooth sailing!
While he cleaned up the banana split mess, Donkey Kong suddenly felt the need to use the bathroom, and so the gorilla ran to the nearest bathroom to take care of his business. When he came back, he saw the Duck Hunt Dog and Pit licking the ice cream and stuff off of the floor. The Duck Hunt Dog had every right to lick the mess, since he was a dog and probably couldn't help himself (he had to make sure not to taste the chocolate though), but Pit had little to no excuse to do what he was doing.
"You two get away from the mess, I have to clean it up before somebody gets reprimanded!" Donkey Kong angrily grabbed the giant broom, and used it to repel the Duck Hunt Dog and Pit away. As Pit tried to run away, Donkey Kong grabbed the rascal by his wings and dragged the angel towards him, meeting him face to face. "Now why is a guy like you licking up the ice cream just now, you trying to be a dog or something? Have you forgotten your role?"
"Oh I'm sorry DK, it's just that what the Duck Hunt Dog was doing looked pretty cool, and so I wanted to join in on the action," stated Pit, which made DK frown. The gorilla looked around, and saw that Diddy Kong was nowhere to be found - was he seriously going to clean up the mess his nephew created by himself. "Hey, where did Diddy run off to, he spilled the banana split so he should be cleaning his mess up!"
"He said he wanted to clear some wrongs he committed against Flora and Dark Pit. If I were him, I would tell Dark Pit that he's a jerk and doesn't deserve to have Flora or any other chick. How that guy acquired a girlfriend is one of the mansion's many mysteries that shall never be solved!" Like you're the one to talk Pit, we may never understand what Viridi sees in you...
Once Pit told Donkey Kong what he needed to know, the gorilla instantly assumed that Diddy was now looking for Dark Pit and/or Flora, and wished to apologize to either one. DK ran off in search for his nephew, not wanting Diddy to do things (well, certain things) by himself.
"Would you like another cup of soda pop, Felicia?" Corrin would ask the maid in the lounge, holding two cups of soda in his hands - one for him, and one for Felicia. The maid in question should be doing her mansion maintenance duties, but Corrin "enticed" her into taking a short break. We may never know how short the break would be, for all we know, it could last forever!
"Yes I would, thank you so much Corrin!" Felicia happily accepted the cup of soda from Corrin, who looked behind him at Robin, who was seated on a couch with Lucina, the princess of Yliesse reading the latest edition of Swordsman Weekly. Corrin gave Robin a triumphant thumbs-up, and the tactician gave a thumbs-up right back.
Robin: With Marth stuck finding both Meta Knight AND King Dedede a temporary valentine (good luck with that...), I can spend more time teaching Corrin the ways of love! Today is Valentine's Day, which means that there's oodles upon oodles of things for Corrin to learn...but no worries, I'll teach him that you can express your love to your significant on days other than Valentine's Day, that you don't have to only give Felicia chocolate on one certain day of the year...speaking of which, maybe I should purchase Corrin some chocolate to give to Felicia!
"I think Corrin would be fine by himself learning how to be a model boyfriend to Felicia," remarked Lucina, who didn't even need to look up from her magazine to know that Robin and Corrin were silently communicating with one another. "I understand that he may be naive, but he still should learn from experience without people like yourself having to hold his hand."
"Well Marth is practically doing the same thing too, is he not?" frowned Robin, even though he started it. "I'm just trying to show Corrin the right way to be a good boyfriend, Marth is corrupting the poor guy and I refuse to let him terrorize Corrin anymore!" Lucina sighed as she continued to read her magazine; now wouldn't be the right time to be arguing with her man.
"Excuse me you two, but have you seen a woman around here, I had bribed...erm, asked her to be my valentine," Wolf approached the Fire Emblem duo. Of course the mercenary had to bribe someone to do his bidding... "She has white hair, tied back in a ponytail, and she also wears red makeup, around her eye...I know I'm not being descriptive enough, but have you two seen a woman of that description anywhere?"
"No we haven't, but we'll keep our eyes peeled," assured Robin, as he took a quick look at Corrin who was chillin' with Felicia, just to make sure the prince of Nohr wasn't screwing things up. He and Felicia were both prone to making mistakes. "If we see the woman you speak of, we'll make sure to notify you right away. Isn't that right, Lucina?" The princess, who was hardly listening, barely nodded her head. Convincing enough, Wolf assumed.
"Alright then, I shall resume my search. Let me know soon if you find the woman - Master Hand is planning something in the ballroom, and I gotta be with the woman by the time we meet in the ballroom. Who knows what may happen to me if I show up by myself!" And with that, Wolf left the lounge, and once the mercenary was gone, Lucina slowly looked up from her magazine, with a puzzled look on her face. Evidently the princess did listen to the conversation between Wolf and Robin.
"Didn't Wolf say that the woman he was looking for had white hair and red makeup around her eye?" Lucina questioned Robin, suddenly intrigued. "Do you have any idea who he was talking about?" Robin stroked his chin thoughtfully, as the image of a certain Hylian permeated in his head...
"Thanks a bunch for helping me find a valentine Sonic, you sir just made up for all the jerkbag things you've done to me in the past!" Takamaru thanked the blue hedgehog, the samurai's arm wrapped around his valentine...Blaze the Cat. The purple feline shot a glare at Sonic, who smirked while innocently shrugging. The guy was just doing a solid, and besides, it wasn't like Blaze had a boyfriend to begin with...lest she was in love with Silver the Hedgehog.
Sonic: Yup, I spent a lot of time looking for the perfect valentine for Takamaru, though it was no easy task. I went through an entire list of suitors, but none of them exactly were Takamaru's cup of tea. Ilia? Takamaru wouldn't dig her, and Link probably wouldn't want that girl inside the mansion. Chie Satonaka? Might be a bit too tomboyish for Takamaru's tastes. Soon my list of suitors was dwindling down, and I was suddenly left with only one choice in mind...
Blaze: *facepalming* Look, I don't mind being a temporary girlfriend - what I do mind is being a temporary girlfriend of a person I hardly know, like Takamaru. Perhaps the only redeeming thing about him is the fact that he's a samurai, but other than that...
Takamaru: This is my first experience having a girlfriend, and I'm so excited! Granted I wanted to have a human girlfriend, just for reasons such as chemistry, but I suppose having a feline love interest will do. Sonic did say that Blaze is great to get along with once you look past her shyness, and I must admit, there's something endearing about the shy types...
"How long do I have to stay with this poser?" Blaze asked Sonic as she pulled Takamaru's arm away from her. The undeterred samurai tried to use his other arm to wrap around Blaze, but the cat swiped that arm away real quick. "He's really starting to bug me..."
"Like I said before Blaze, this is only temporary, by the end of the day you'll be through with Takamaru," replied Sonic. Just then, Ike entered Takamaru's room, with a puppet in his possession. This puppet strongly resembled Mia, a character from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and a close friend of Ike's.
"Say hello to my awesome girlfriend Mia!" Ike exclaimed, as Sonic and company looked on wondering what was up with the Radiant Hero. Why couldn't he get the real deal, why a puppet of his woman. "Don't be shy, tell her how you really feel, greet her or something! Can you honestly believe these people, Mia? They don't even wanna speak with you, what's up with that?"
"For real though Ike, these guys aren't showing me a ton of respect, shame on them!" replied the Mia puppet, her voice provided by none other than Ike, who was speaking in a girly tone. "That is why you're the only person I know that loves me, Ike..." Sonic looked at Blaze and Takamaru, doing a circling motion near the side of his head to signify that Ike may have lost it, and Blaze and Takamaru both agreed with the hedgehog with the nodding of their heads.
Ike: No matter how hard I tried, Mia refused to come around agree to terms with being my valentine...but I'm sure glad I made a puppet version of Mia to serve as a substitute! You're not afraid of Master Hand, are you Puppet Mia?
Puppet Mia: Of course not, Master Hand is not as intimidating as he constantly makes himself out to be! He's just a lousy floating hand, why would anyone be afraid of some giant hand is beyond me!
Ike: True dat, true dat...I can tell we're already building some great chemistry, Puppet Mia - dare I say it, you might be even better than the actual Mia I know!
Puppet Mia: Yeah, that Mia will be nothing but old news soon, I'm like the new and improved Mia! That girl ain't got nothing on me!
"I can't believe Marth actually followed on his promise and got us a valentine, I'm so excited!" King Dedede grinned as he and Meta Knight were waiting for the hero-king in an empty room. Both Dream Land denizens were blind-folded, to increase the allure of the surprise.
"I can't believe you haven't wetted yourself yet, the room still smells normal," Meta Knight remarked, unable to detect a foul urine stench with his nose. Does the guy even have a nose to begin with?
"Alright you two, I have returned, you ready for your surprise?" Marth asked as he entered the room, followed by two ladies whose identities will not be revealed as of yet. The sound of the footsteps of both women kept Meta Knight and King Dedede very interested. "You two can take off your blindfolds now!"
So Meta Knight and King Dedede took off their blindfolds, only to be captivated by the two beauties they saw before them. Meta Knight found himself looking up at an android by the name of Alisa Bosconovitch, a Tekken veteran; granted she looked like she was a teenager, but she had no age so Meta Knight couldn't care less. King Dedede on the other hand was looking straight in the eyes of Sarah Bryant, Jacky's younger sister; the Virtua Fighter blonde found herself unnerved by Dedede's "love trance".
"Alisa Bosconovitch, a pleasure to meet you," Alisa smiled as she shook Meta Knight's hand; the Star Warrior just kept looking, too amazed to even speak.
"I'm Sarah Bryant, I'm sure Jacky has been talking up a storm about me so I probably won't have to go into detail with my introduction," Sarah said to King Dedede, who gave the blonde a big, fat hug. "You're...crushing...my insides..." King Dedede apologetically smiled as he released his bear hug on the woman and placed her back on the floor.
Marth: I hope Meta Knight is happy with Alisa Bosconovitch, and I wish the same for King Dedede and Sarah Bryant...though I feel somewhat cynical about how Dedede will treat Jacky's sister. To be honest with you, Alisa wasn't the first choice I had in mind for Meta Knight - I was close to choosing another Tekken veteran, Christie Montiero, to be Meta's valentine, but she was 19 and I didn't know how old Meta Knight was...judging by the sound of this voice, I'll go out on a limb and say that Meta Knight's 60. Is that a bit too far off?
"Alisa, the short fellow with the mask is Meta Knight, and Sarah, the obese penguin you see before you is King Dedede, ruler of Dream Land," Marth introduced the two brawlers to the ladies. King Dedede shot a quick glare at Marth when the hero-king called him obese. "I'll leave and let you all get to know each other a little better."
"We'll see you around, I suppose," Sarah said to Marth; the hero-king nodded as he exited the room and headed down the hallway. As he continued through the hallway, he saw Kamui speaking with some dude with white hair, tied in a short ponytail; Marth could tell by the guy's attire that he was presumably from the kingdom of Nohr.
"I do not recall seeing you before, just who are you supposed to be?" the hero-king approached the guy, not wanting to sound blunt. He just wanted to make sure the guy was from the same gaming universe as he was.
"I'm Jakob, and I'm a butler sent from the kingdom of Nohr to serve as Kamui's valentine," the dude responded, affirming Marth's concerns. "I met with the owners of the mansion, Master Hand and Mario, and they said that they would welcome me to serve as a butler of the mansion, so that Felicia and Flora can serve under me while I take care of certain aspects of the mansion. And by the looks of it, you must be Marth, the legendary hero-king!"
"Why yes, that would be me...didn't expect another Nohrian citizen to stop by. To have you as a butler...that would be an awfully nice addition to the mansion. Now if you excuse me, I must get back with my wife Caeda, she's probably worried sick about me..." Marth continued on his way, sporting a curious look on his face. Having a butler would be nice, but how well would Jakob get along with the others?
"Hope you have a great rest of the day with your wife!" Jakob called out to Marth before resuming his conversation with Kamui.
For the first time this entire week, Falco stopped by the gaming room, sitting on a couch chilling. Ema was seated close to the avian pilot, assuming that being around the pilot would keep his tempers down...
"So Falco, what are your bold predictions for your Atlanta Falcons next year?" Gil, sitting on a couch opposite to Falco with his presumed girlfriend and valentine, Ki, asked the Star Fox pilot. The very mention of the Falcons was enough to get Falco's blood broiling. "I mean, I know they lost in the Super Bowl this Sunday, but I think they can make it back to the big game in Minnesota..."
"Why so you can see them choke another lead and prove to the world that the Falcons are world-class chokers like the Golden State Warriors?!" Falco angrily grabbed Gil by the collar and held him up to his face. "At least the Falcons' MVP showed up on the big stage when it mattered the most, unlike that man Stephen Curry!"
Lloyd: You wanna know how the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead to the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2016 NBA Finals? It's simple, really: the Patriots scored 31 unanswered points after being down 28-3 in the Super Bowl. 28 plus 3 equals 31. The Warriors were up on the Cavaliers 3-1 after Game 4 of the NBA finals...and that, my friends, is how the Warriors blew the lead in epic fashion in the Finals.
"Please put Gil back down this instant, he doesn't mean any harm, he was just asking an honest question!" Ki pleaded to Falco, standing up. "I came here to have a good time, not to see my love potentially beaten to a pulp!" Aha, so Ki IS Gil's girlfriend! Clearly Gil has very good taste.
"Shut your trap girl, your man was asking for this beating!" Falco pointed at Ki, making the girl sit back down on the couch, before reverting his attention to Gil. "Now you listen here Gil, my Falcons, despite what went down in the Super Bowl, are eons better than your team will ever be!" Does Gil even support an NFL team to begin with. "So how about you know your role, and shut your mouth, if you know what's good for ya!"
"Woah Falco, easy there, Gil wasn't ridiculing your team, like Ki just said, he was asking a mere question!" Shulk the peacemaker intervened, rushing in just in time. "So why don't you put the man back down, and just pretend that this never happened, capiche?" Falco frowned at Gil, who was smiling innocently, and heeded Shulk's order, as he placed the brown-haired lad back on the couch he was sitting on. Falco then gave Gil the "I'm watching you..." hand gesture, and moved to another part of the gaming room, with Ema following the pilot.
"Are you okay Gil, he didn't rough you that badly, did he?" Ki asked the swordsman, who caught his breath; Falco had exerted some force on his neck, but it wasn't enough to do any substantial damage.
"No I'm fine, I'll be just alright Ki," Gil reassured, making his girlfriend calm as she pulled away from the swordsman. Unwritten Rule #71: It's never wise to discuss sports with a salty sports fan after their team suffered from a devastating loss, especially one that came in a championship game.
"We're actually going to spend our first Valentine's Day together, aren't you excited?" Aerith asked the ever excitable Cloud in his room, and Cloud was so excitable, that he was literally leaning against a wall with his arms folded, not giving a crap about Valentine's Day or holidays in general. Except Christmas, maybe, nobody except for Ebeneezer Scrooge dislikes Christmas with a passion.
"I bet there's a world from your universe where the inhabitants celebrate Valentine's Day day in and day out," said Cloud, uttering this random thought that generated in his head. Aerith did say there was a world where the folks celebrate Halloween on one side of the world, and Christmas on the other side.
"Wouldn't be surprised if there was such a world, there's so many worlds out in my universe to explore!" Thankfully Aerith didn't go on a long tangent listing all the worlds that existed, for Cloud would have toned her out real quick.
Cloud: *holds up a heart gift box, takes off cover to reveal chocolate pieces* Robin stopped by a dollar store not so long ago and bought two boxes of Valentine's Day chocolate, and gave one of the boxes to me so I could give it to Aerith. Normally I wouldn't trust any food product from a dollar store, but it wouldn't hurt to see how the chocolate tastes... *takes a chocolate out, and eats it* Hmm, not bad, this is actually pretty tasty! I could go for another one... *eats another chocolate* Oh man, this chocolate was better than the last! One more and I'll give this heart box to Aerith. *eats yet another chocolate* You know what, screw it, these chocolate pieces are too delicious, and I bet Aerith probably has chocolate allergies or something. So she wouldn't mind if I ate these chocolates by myself... *looks around, then runs inside the nearest closet so he could eat up all the chocolates in peace*
"Just spoke-a with Master Hand, he said that everyone-a must meet in the ball-a room for a Valentine's Day dance with their valentine!" Mario stopped by Cloud's room, standing at the doorway, to give the news. So that's why the giant hand forced everyone in the mansion (and Yuffie) to find a valentine soon... "Which now leads-a me to ask...which should-a I wear, the black-a suit, or the red-a suit?" Mario held up a black suit and a red suit at his sides, confusing both Cloud and Aerith.
"There's a dress code for the Valentine's Day dance?" asked Cloud, raising an eyebrow. "I think you're supposed to go to the dance with whatever you have on, I don't recall any of the guests bringing a suit or formal dress or anything." Imagine if Master Hand did enforce a dress code, everyone would be screwed!
"Mario, if you're trying to impress Peach, then dressing formally at the dance wouldn't be the way to do it, in my opinion," stated Aerith, leading Mario to heave a deep sigh as he lowered the suits in his hands. It was worth a shot... "Why don't you impress Peach another day, a day that isn't Valentine's Day? Overreaching people like yourself are kinda the reason Valentine's Day gets such a bad rep as a holiday."
"You're-a right, maybe a suit isn't-a worth it..." Mario lowered his head as he walked away. "Sorry for interrupting you-a both..." Cloud and Aerith exchanged looks of remorse with one another, not meaning to put the plumber in a bad mood. They were just trying to do what they thought was right.
"Diddy Kong where are you my boy?" Donkey Kong called out, as his search for his nephew led him outside the mansion. "Have you apologized to Dark Pit and Flora yet?" The gorilla's search would led him to a tea party, hosted by yours truly the Black Knight. Attending the tea party was Dark Pit, Flora, Wii Fit Trainer, and Wii Fit's male counterpart. Oh, and Diddy Kong was also in attendance.
"I thoroughly enjoy your tea Black Knight, it's not too sweet but not too bitter, it's just right!" the male Wii Fit Trainer gave the knight a thumbs up. Both Wii Fit Trainers had an "exercise-off" to determine who was better at doing various exercises (the female trainer won), and there's nothing like some good ol' tea to drink down after a grueling physical competition.
"Much appreciated, making tea is one of my many specialties!" exclaimed the Black Knight, getting all giddy for no apparent reason. Apparently tea makes the guy turn up, it must be the amount of sugar in the tea that's responsible. "I made the tea especially great this time around, since we have visitors like yourself!"
Wii Fit Trainer (Male): As much as I would to stick around at the mansion permanently and be a secondary fitness trainer, I'm afraid that I cannot stay in one city for so long...for I am a traveling fitness guru! Everywhere I go I teach others to stay in fit, and to eat healthy! Most of the time I drop little nuggets of knowledge on the folks I meet everyday, motivating them to be the best! Though some people don't listen to my words...perhaps they just don't want to be motivated.
"There you are Diddy, I've been looking high and low for you!" Donkey Kong interrupted the tea party when he interrogated his nephew. "Why are you hanging out with Dark Pit and Flora, shouldn't you be apologizing to them for the incident earlier involving the banana split you spilled on the floor?"
"Nah DK, it's all good, Diddy already apologized and explained to us the situation in its entirety," assured Dark Pit, surprising the gorilla. Strange enough, Donkey Kong was totally looking forward to helping Diddy give an apology to Dark Pit and Flora, but he assumed his assistance wasn't needed...why would it be needed anyways?
"Yeah, and after I apologized and all, Flora and I went back to where I wasted the banana split and we cleaned up the mess together," added Diddy Kong, making his uncle proud that he realized the error of his ways. "So everything is good now - Dark Pit is no longer angry with me, and Flora's happy and content again!"
"Well I'm glad to hear that Diddy!" DK remarked as he looked over at the front of the mansion, and saw his girlfriend Candy Kong pulling her car up the driveway. "Oh snap, Candy's here! I'll see you folks later!" The gorilla ran off, and after he was gone, the tea party immediately resumed.
Zelda was sitting by herself in the foyer, reading a Hyrulian book, when Link and Akira approached the princess of Hyrule. Link was clearly holding something behind his back, and Akira...who knows what he was doing here.
"Wrote this for you, hope you enjoy it," Link sheepishly gave Zelda a Valentine's Day card, and the princess, accepting said card, opened it and read its contents. Link waited nervously, awaiting Zelda's feedback if the princess bothered to provide any.
"Why thank you Link, I greatly appreciated this card of yours," remarked Zelda, placing the Valentine's Day card next to her. "But I must ask, why did you wait until today to write such a card to me, you know there are other days of the year to express your love to me!"
"That's what I tried to tell him, but he just wouldn't listen!" said Akira, only to receive a punch in the gut courtesy of Link. That must have been why the kung fu fighter was following Link, to dissuade the Hylian from wasting Zelda's time and giving her that Valentine's Day card.
"For the record Zelda, I thought that giving you a card on any other date would be out of place, so I wanted to give the card to you on a day it would be necessary," explained Link. "I've been working extensively on that card ever since last year's Valentine's Day." It took the man 365 days to work on a measly card? Should have prepared more romantic gifts to give to Zelda.
Link: Could have bought more Valentine's Day gifts for Zelda, but all of my money either was stolen or magically disappeared, for whatever reason. One night, I locked up my wallet with ten dollars inside in a safe so Wario wouldn't steal it, and when I woke up the next morning, I opened up my wallet, and saw that I was only left with FIVE DOLLARS! Maybe my money disappear at all, Wario or someone else must have figured out the code to the safe and raided my wallet in my sleep...
Cloud: Confession time...I was the one who took money from Link's safe. Dude wasn't even being descreet with the code for the safe - he would always do the code in broad daylight, for anyone to see - heck, if someone walked by our room and took a peek inside, they could see Link unlocking the safe, and they would also see the code in broad daylight as well. If I remember correctly, the code to the safe is 36, 39, 42. Keep being secretive all you want Link, but just know that no secret of yours is safe from me...did I seriously make a pun just now?
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the hero of Hyrule and the Twilight Princess..." remarked a woman with a long white ponytail. Link, Zelda, and Akira took a glance at the woman, and all three of them recognized who it was, although it took Akira longer to get the full recognition.
"Hello Impa, very funny seeing you here," Zelda said to the Hylian. This was a young, peppy Impa, not the old Impa that would instruct Link during the events of Skyward Sword. "I take it that you have a valentine?"
"Why yes I do. The man who asked me to be my valentine practically begged me to be his valentine, and even attempted to indulge me with money to sway me over. Knowing how pathetic his attempts were, I caved in and agreed to be his valentine for today." Indulging with money? That sounded an awful lot like someone Link, Zelda, and Akira knew all too well...
"There you are babe, I've been looking all over for you..." Wolf appeared in the foyer, walking towards Impa with a grin on his face. Link and company watched in absolute horror, with Akira fainting to the floor in an instant. Wolf and Impa as a couple, whether temporary or not, was something you certainly don't see everyday.
Akira: *does the infamous shocked reaction of Wee-Bey Brice from The Wire*
"Y-You're valentine is Impa, of all people?" a shocked Link asked Wolf, who was insulted that the Hylian would dare to ask such a question. Whoever said mercenary wolves and time-traveling Hylians couldn't mingle for just a day?
"What you got a problem with that, bub?" the space mercenary frowned, grabbing Impa's hand and walking away. "Let's get away from these losers Impa!" Impa would give Link and Zelda a somewhat remorseful look that literally screamed "Sorry you folks had to see this..." as Wolf took the Hylian away. Midna floated out from Link's body, having seen what just unfolded, and was just as shocked as the others were, if not disturbed.
"He must have tried extremely hard to get Impa to come around..." the imp shook her head, heavily discouraged that Impa would even dare to serve as Wolf's valentine. Even Captain Falcon would be better for Impa to be with.
Throughout most of the day, Bowser was feeling rather salty, salty that most of the residents, despite their quirks, had a valentine. Cilan, a Pokemon connoisseur who adored cracking cooking puns from time to time, asked a fellow Unova gym leader in Iris to be his valentine. Ashley, perhaps the most quiet and stoic girl in the mansion, managed to get Young Cricket as a valentine after sending him a love potion through the mail (with a picture of Ashley as well). Heck, even Lloyd Irving got himself a valentine, when he asked his childhood friend Colette Brunel to be his valentine.
Undeterred, Bowser sought to find a valentine and be at the dance in the ballroom. He went to the teleportation room, and turned on the teleportation device, which was previously used by Marth. Normally someone like Mega Man or R.O.B. should be turning on the device and warping people and whatnot, but this is Bowser we're talking about, the Koopa King wants to do things his way without the need of others.
"I think I know the perfect girl to be my valentine..." Bowser evilly rubbed his hands together, dying to see the girl he was about to warp to the mansion. "Let's take a look-see in...the TV World..." You could possibly assume where this was definitely headed.
The dance in the ballroom had just started, and Isabelle was standing at the entrance, allowing folks inside the ballroom provided they had a valentine. The shih tzu's valentine was K.K. Slider, and it was a bit of a dream come true for her.
Isabelle: I'm positively sure you knew this already, but I'm a huge fan of K.K. Slider and his songs. I would tell him how great his songs are, but frankly I don't have the courage to do so...I'm afraid that I might stutter in front of K.K., and leave behind a bad impression on him! Granted he's very forgiving and all, but I don't like taking any chances...
"Sorry Snake, but I can't let you inside the ballroom, you'll need a valentine to get in!" Isabelle kindly explained to the former spy after letting Hisui and his woman Litha Spodumene. "That's a direct order from Master Hand!"
"I thought he said he had to at least be in love once to be granted access to the dance!" frowned Snake, obviously hearing some very false information. "Yoshi must have told me wrong, when I get my hands on him..." Snake looked around and saw Samus, who had just ended a call on her cellphone. The spy tried to ask the bounty hunter to be his valentine, but Samus immediately recognized what the man's intentions were.
"Yeah, I just got off the phone with Anthony Higgs and he agreed to come with me to the ballroom dance, so don't even bother asking me," the bounty hunter shot Snake's offer down, making the former spy snap his fingers in disgust. But then he suddenly thought up of a backup plan...
"Wait right here Isabelle, I'll be back with a suitable valentine!" Snake told the shih tzu as he ran away, running at the speed of light...yeah right.
"Whaddaya mean, there's no so thing as a female Kremling, I need a valentine to get into the ballroom, and I need one NOW!" King K. Rool frowned as he was speaking on the phone outside at the front of the mansion with one of his Kremling underlings. "And don't even give me any crap about evolution, that's not gonna help me with the situation I'm in!"
Just then, Snake ran out of the front door and stiff-armed Rool to the ground as he made a mad dash to Luigi's car. He got inside the vehicle, pulled out a key, turned on the ignition, and turned the car on, before opening the car door and looking at a nearby cameraman...
"I'm coming for you, Meryl, I'm coming to get ya!" Snake vowed as he pointed at the camera before closing the door back and driving out of driveway, and driving towards who-knows-where.
Back inside the mansion, Master Hand was now at Isabelle's side at the entrance to the ballroom, helping the shih tzu with her job. Ike headed to the ballroom entrance with his puppet of Mia, only to be stopped by Master Hand.
"Hold it right there Ike, no way I'm letting you in with a puppet for your valentine!" the giant hand pointed his finger at the swordsman. "You seriously couldn't ask the actual Mia to be your valentine? Did she reject you or something? Unless you can acquire the HUMAN Mia, then I won't let you inside!"
Ike: Apparently Master Hand refused to let us inside the ballroom, but I won't let this setback tear us apart! Ain't that right, Puppet Mia?
Puppet Mia: You said it Ike, and besides, we don't need those losers in the ballroom anyway, we can just hang by ourselves! Who wants to be at some lousy dance anyways?
Ike: I like the way you think, Puppet Mia, so great that we're mentally on the same page...
"So you won't grant me access inside the ballroom but you'll let those two bozos inside?!" Ike angrily pointed at Doc Louis and Black Knight, who respectively had a chocolate bar and a tea bag as their "valentines". Isabelle let the two inside the ballroom, and Master Hand saw nothing wrong with it.
"Me and you, we're gonna have the time of our lives!" gleamed Doc Louis, talking to his chocolate bar like it was a sentimental being. You literally couldn't make any of this stuff up...
"Neither man has a girlfriend, and they apparently love non-living objects, so they're fine with me," stated Master Hand, though he felt like he should be reprimanding both Doc Louis and the Black Knight. But that must be his conscience telling him to punish others for no good reason at all. "As for you, you like girls, and therefore you should be with a girl, and not a puppet!"
"Oh yeah, is that how it's gonna be?!" frowned Ike, holding Puppet Mia out in front of Master Hand. "Puppet Mia, show Master Hand what you're made of!" Master Hand, ever so unimpressed, simply flicked the puppet away with the flick of his finger, sending Puppet Mia flying. "Oh no, Puppet Mia!" Ike chased after the puppet, and Master Hand let out a sigh of relief, glad that the swordsman was gone. Good riddance...
"Man I gotta say, Master Hand has done a bang up job with this ballroom dance," remarked Luka, as he was standing with his woman Bayonetta at the wall, soaking everything in. A lot of couples were in the ballroom - Tails and Cream, Toon Link and Toon Zelda, Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong - Luka himself had never seen most of these folks before.
"Planning get-togethers has always been a specialty of Master Hand's," stated Bayonetta, just when a certain koopa finally arrived at the ballroom. The Umbra Witch squinted her eyes, and saw Bowser, wearing the white attire from the Super Mario Odyssey trailer. But that was the least of Bayonetta's concerns - Bowser had his arm wrapped around his valentine, and who was his valentine, you might ask? Yukiko Amagi, the young investigator who appeared in the previous episode. Yukiko looked like she didn't want to be here, and you couldn't blame her for feeling that way!
"Lookin' fresh as usual Lucario!" Bowser said to the aura Pokemon, who was with Lopunny, as he strutted like a pimp. Lucario was pretty much forced to find a Pokemon valentine by Master Hand, partially because of "his human-like abilities". For that reason, Mewtwo had to come to the ballroom dance with Gardevoir as his valentine.
Lucario: No, I still can't tell anyone what the "prize" is, however Master Hand did give me another object for me to hold on to... *holds up a whistle* He told me not to blow into the whistle, since it emits an ear-piercing sound of sorts that can be heard from miles away. I refuse to believe in such tall tales, and therefore I won't blow into the whistle by any means...now that I think of it, I should keep the whistle away from Kirby. He sure loves to blow into things, even into things that don't even require any blowing.
"Bowser what's up with the attire, and why do you have Yukiko with you?" Toad questioned the Koopa King, as he was standing with his valentine Toadette. "She's a high schooler, for crying out loud!"
"Who is this 'Bowser' fellow you speak of - I'm A Pimp Named Bowser, and I'm the coolest cat in this room!" A Pimp Named Bowser exclaimed, telling Toad how it was. "Yukiko agreed to be my valentine, for she thinks that loser Yu is overrated!" For those of you who may not know, Yu and Yukiko are believed to be romantically linked, but only to some extent.
"I never even said that to begin with..." grumbled Yukiko, though A Pimp Named Bowser assumed that the girl was just talking silly. The Koopa King brought Yukiko closer to him, and the raven-haired lass felt a sudden indignation to punch A Pimp Named Bowser in the gut.
"How are all my groovy people doing tonight?" K.K. Slider, the DJ, said into a microphone, and was greeted with a response of cheers from the crowd. "First off, let me just say that it's sweet seeing everyone gathered here, getting all lovey dovey and whatnot...and speaking of love, let's hear it from the man about to get married to the woman of his dreams, Mario!" Everyone cheered and applauded for the plumber, who was still bummed out about not wearing a suit to the dance, for whatever reason.
"How about a speech from the mighty Mario?" exclaimed Toon Link, even though Mario wasn't in the right mood to give a speech. "Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech!" Toon Link started the chant, and soon enough everyone else joined in. Mario practically had no other choice but to deliver a speech, it was what the people wanted. So the plumber headed over to where K.K. Slider was, and took the microphone from the hippie dog, as the chants died down.
"Is everyone-a here having a great-a time?" Mario asked the crowd, and soon the ballroom erupted into another wave of cheers. Why did Mario bother asking that question, he wasn't having a great time himself. "Well I just wanted-a to say that I'm glad to be-a marrying Peach, it's been a long-a time coming, and soon my dream-a will finally be-a realized..."
Mario was about to go on a self-deprecating rant, talking about how he was dissuaded from wearing a suit to the dance and discussing a few romantic blunders he suffered with Peach, until he took a quick glance at A Pimp Named Bowser. The Koopa King was flaunting around like he was a pimp, showing off his attire and Yukiko to the others, even though they didn't care one bit. He was showing off, expecting other to care about him, and it rubbed off Mario the wrong way.
"But if there's-a one thing I learned-a about being in love, it's that you should-a never make a great-a effort to impress-a your love, or others around-a you," Mario continued his speech, throwing the mic stand down, most likely just for effect. "You just-a have to be-a yourself, be true-a to who you are! Don't-a be like Bowser over there and try-a to make a good-a impression!" A Pimp Named Bowser looked up at Mario angrily, disgusted that he left out the "A Pimp Named..." part in his name.
"That's A Pimp Named Bowser to you!" the Koopa King/Pimp pushed Yukiko to the side (Chrom saved the high schooler in the nick of time before she fell on the floor) as he ran towards Mario, only to slip on an unsuspecting banana peel strangely covered in ice cream and chocolate. A Pimp Named Bowser fell on his bum in front of everyone, being ridiculed and laughed at by everybody.
"Some pimp you're supposed to be!" Sonic jeered at A Pimp Named Bowser, who grumbled as he stood up, his white tuxedo now ruined. The Koopa King/Pimp angrily pointed at Mario, and stormed out of the ballroom, not even bothering to retrieve Yukiko and take her back to where she belonged.
"That's odd, I never threw that banana peel out in the open..." wondered Diddy Kong, scratching his head, before he looked to his right and saw Flora with Dark Pit, smiling and waving at the spidermonkey. In her hand was a banana, one with ice cream and caramel on the peel, and the moment Diddy saw the fruit, he smiled right back at the maid.
Diddy Kong: You know, I think tonight should make up for the past things I've done to Flora. A few weeks ago I accidentally hurt her sister, and earlier today I snapped on her and nearly made her cry. But then we made up and cleaned up the mess I left in the hallway, and after what went down in the ballroom with Bowser... *shrugs* ...I'd say all is forgiven.
Bowser: *overhearing Diddy from afar* It's A Pimp Named...you know what, forget about it!
"What a fabulous speech Mario, I enjoyed every second of it!" Peach said after running up to her man, giving him a huge hug. It might not have been the greatest speech, but knowing Peach, she was probably just saying to make Mario feel more content. "What possibly convinced you to talk about impressing others and all that stuff? I never would expect such words from you!" Mario, thinking of an answer, looked towards Cloud and Aerith, who were chilling in the back of the ballroom, cheesing it up. Cloud cheesing it up? Such fallacies...
"Let's just-a say that I'm grateful to be-a in the presence of some great-a people," smiled Mario, hoping that his answer wasn't as cheesy as it might have sounded.
But it didn't matter, for the plumber did have a valid point..., in fact, he was in the presence of great people right now.