Author's Note:
Was gonna add two new permanent characters (and by permanent I mean that the characters would live in the Smash Mansion) suggested by Darth Sigma 96 in this week's installment of "Smash Life", but the release of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe interfered with my plans...curse you Nintendo, and your release dates! With that out of the way, we can move on to the guest reviews:
"Can you add Joe Musashi, Hotsuma, and Hibana from Shinobi? The characters from Monster Hunter Stories? How about a Crazy Taxi chapter? A chapter with Cloud and Aerith interacting with the Final Fantasy XIII and XV cast? And if Jude and Milla show up will they be a couple? (Since both Xillia games screwed them over of them ever getting together.)"
Jude and Milla were never a couple?! I shall fix all of that soon. All the characters you mentioned will be open for an appearance, and there will definitely be a Crazy Taxi chapter. One more anonymous review:
"I wanna see interactions between particular characters, especially rivals like Mario and Wario. Those interactions are between Marth and his descendants, Marth and Pit, and maybe Marth and Lucas. Also, DK and Rool, Ness and Lucas, Marth and Roy, and a few others I don't feel like writing."
I shall take this into consideration. There was one more request this reviewer had:
"Also, could Sylux and the other Metroid Prime Hunters appear (Spire, Trace, Weavel, Kanden, and Noxus), and maybe Medusa of Kid Icarus (Even though she's dead again, also, Hades is supposedly dead after Uprising to be revived later)?"
The Hunters would be hard to work into "Smash Life"...but the same might not be said for Medusa, despite what you said about her being dead. Moving on to Kellan:
"...could you have the smash characters play a game of football this time?"
I might save that until September, when the new NFL season starts. Next up is Roydigs22, who was relieved that I fixed Lucario's love situation, coming forth with another pairing:
"So... Meta knight and jigglypuff?"
Still giving this some thought. Moving on:
"Did you try the dodgeball game that I suggested? And also, how about a double date with the two resident pokemon couples?"
Was gonna do that this week, if not for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe; I'll save that next week, and do the double date a week after if I can. Up next is Derick Lindsey:
"...can you remind me when Mario and Peach's wedding happens because it feels like it's so long since Luigi and Daisy's had theirs that I forgot the date?"
The wedding will be on June 23rd, eight weeks from now. Now here is your local meme:
"You'll do something Star Trek-themed... When the time is right? Whazzat mean?"
When they do a Star Trek celebration, that's what I meant to say. Think there's a Star Trek celebration this September. Last up, vj:
"Sonic and Ganon? Why?"
Because one of my readers suggested it a while back. And it will be happening in this chapter!
Episode 71: Lemonade
You may have forgotten about it or had no idea it ever existed, but in the backyard of the Smash Mansion there was a racecourse, one ripe with obstacles that every Mario Kart track contained. This racecourse had not been used ever since Daisy's birthday party back in episode 11 - no, not even Jacky Bryant or Captain Falcon gave the track a spin.
But today, for the first time since Master Hand's return from his "indefinite vacation", the racecourse would be back in full use again.
Today was the day Mario Kart 8 Deluxe will be released, and with it introduced two new racers to the Mario Kart tradition, the Inklings. Wanting to see if the Inklings were great at racing as they were at paintball battles, Master Hand had Mario re-open the racecourse, so he could hold a race - a race between Mario, Donkey Kong, Wario, Yoshi, Link, Villager, and the Inklings, all eight competitors representing their respective gaming franchises.
"And then I told-a Peach, 'Whaddaya mean you drink-a decaf, why can't you just-a pour that garbage down-a the drain'?" Mario spoke with his buddies Luigi and Yoshi, earning a laugh from the plumber and the dinosaur. The three were chilling while Isabelle was getting the racecourse set up. "...honestly I don't-a think Peach actually poured her-a coffee down the drain, she could-a have saved herself."
"Decaf coffee is the absolute worst; it kinda takes like poop, if poop had any flavor to it," Yoshi gave his rather blunt take on decaf coffee...while drinking a bottle of bitter lemon, which possibly couldn't be any better. "I'll just stick to these carbonated soft drinks, really puts a yum in my tum!"
"I would-a drink sugary drinks, but my stomach can't-a handle it well," said Luigi, jumping into the conversation. No sugary drinks for Luigi...must really suck for the guy.
Master Hand: What I'm yearning for is a great race between Mario and his pals, and that nobody crashes their vehicle and gets hurt in any way, shape, or form...especially since that buffoon Luigi took the Smash Mansion off of his insurance plan ever since Charles was born. Ooh, I know, I can kill Charles and make Luigi all depressed, which would then make him easy to manipulate, and then I can convince him to put the mansion residents back on his insurance plan! Charles's death would be swift, I'll just chop him up into a million pieces and sell his remains on eBay...What do you mean, I can't kill Charles, he's not an onion! It's not like anyone would cry if they chopped Charles up! I mean, Luigi would cry, but Daisy would be mostly chill about it...mostly.
Soon Link would join the three, his head hanging low with a downtrodden expresison written on his face. The Hylian was feeling down because of Pit and his crew; they dismantled Link's truck in retaliation for the last episode's events, leaving Link to take the remnants of his truck to the car dealership Jacky worked at so it could be put together again.
"Hey Link, how's-a your truck coming along?" Mario asked the Hylian about his vehicle; not even the cheerfulness of the plumber could turn Link's frown upside down.
"They're three-fourths of the way to finally putting it back together," responded Link, before heaving a heavy sigh. He really took an immense amount of pride in his truck, more than Zelda and anyone else could ever imagined. "And I would have driven it for this race...now I have to settle for that silly Hylian bike..."
"Master Hand probably wouldn't let you use your truck anyways, he's been stressing about using Mario Kart vehicles on the racecourse," stated Yoshi as Link heaved yet another sigh. "I will admit, using non-sanctioned vehicles in the race would make things very interesting..."
"Who's willing to bet-a that Master Hand would break-a his own rule and enroll himself in the race, having some-a one drive his Lamborghini?" questioned Luigi; considering Master Hand's ginormous ego, this could very well happen.
"Or better yet: SOMEONE like myself races against Master Hand and YOU PUNKS in the very race!" boomed a very loud, yet insane voice, as Luigi and company all cowered in fear. They looked up, and saw a giant hand floating above them, and it wasn't Master Hand...it was Master Hand's buddy Crazy Hand. "HELLO boys, long TIME no see!"
"Ah, Mario, I see that you're speaking with Crazy Hand almost a year after Luigi's wedding!" approached Master Hand, siding himself with Crazy Hand. "How about the good ol' handshake-a-rooni, Crazy Hand?" The two giant hands did a rather complex dap in front of Mario and company, a dap the four brawlers had no idea either hand was capable of doing.
"Um, Master Hand, why is-a Crazy Hand here, and why is he en-a listing in the race?" asked Mario, worried that asking such a question would earn him torture from Master Hand himself. "I mean, he doesn't even-a have a vehicle, and it's not-a like he can drive-a in it!"
"Crazy Hand isn't enlisting himself in the race, you flipping bozo...he's enlisting his clown car in the race! And before you can open your stupid mouth and ask who's gonna drive the car, how about I introduce him to you...Kefka Palazzo, get your scrawny butt over here!"
Right on cue, a blonde, extravagant jester fellow leaped to the scene, sporting a grin as he stuck the landing. This jester was the mighty Kefka Palazzo, and while he was no Dimentio, this man still possessed sociopathic tendencies, meaning that Mario and company would have to stay very weary of him.
Kefka: *does trademark evil laugh* Pleased to meet you, Kefka Palazoo's the name! Crazy Hand invited me to partake in a Mario Kart race of epic proportions, and he gave me the opportunity to be the first ever person to drive his new clown car! Now as much as I would love to make the race a demolition derby, Master Hand told me that NOT to put anyone in harm's way...but that's just a silly rule, and nobody said all rules have to be followed!
"My name is Kefka Palazzo, but you can just call me Kefka!" the jester eagerly shook hands with Mario and company, desiring to bully Mario, Link, and Yoshi on the racecourse. "May the best racer win...or should I say, let the best racer win, or there shall be consequences!" Kefka did his evil laugh before leaping away, making Mario and company question his sanity.
"How very fitting that buffoon is driving Crazy Hand's car..." remarked Link, disgusted with the fact that Master Hand and Crazy Hand would break the rules and have some non-Mario Kart person participate in the race. "So Master Hand, are you gonna enter your car in the race?"
"Already did, look at the hot babe standing over there with my Lamborghini - she'll be the one driving my sweet ride!" Master Hand pointed over to the far corner of the racecourse at Reiko Nagase, who smiled and waved to Link and company as she stood next to the Lamborghini. "Now if you excuse me, I must check on Isabelle's progress and see if she's done with the racecourse. I'll let you fellas know when the race shall begin!" And so Master Hand went away, and so did Crazy Hand, albeit laughing like a madman for no reason.
All the racers for the race were all ready...except for two exceptions, the Inklings. Both kiddies had completely forgotten about the race held today, and were in a mad rush to get prepared.
"Where's my paintball gun, I can't be seen without my paintball gun!" exclaimed the male Inkling as he looked about in his room for his paintball gun, like he would actually use it in a race. It wouldn't be allowed anyways.
"Your paintball gun? My beloved Splattershot has gone completely missing!" fretted the female Inkling throwing stuff all about in the room all willy-nilly. "I need to have my Splattershot with me at all times!" Even during nighttime hours, sleeping in the bed?
"Yeah whatever, just keep your eyes peeled for my paintball gun!" The search for the unnecessary items continued for the Inklings, while Hisui and Kohaku stood by the door, watching all the action unfold. Hisui just shook his head with a grunt, while Kohaku seemingly admired what the Inklings were doing.
"Don't you just love it when you see siblings such as the Inklings having a strong bond together?" Kokahu asked her brother with a smile, leaving Hisui confused. "Reminds me of us in a way, we've had a strong bond ever since we lost our mother..."
"Pretty sure the Inklings are just friends, and not siblings," corrected Hisui, knowing that the Inklings shot down every accusation of them being related to one another. They would shoot down accusations like they were straight-up insults! "But they do act like siblings in a way - fighting with one another, spending time together, sharing similar interests and enjoying the same activities - maybe they're related through a blood oath they signed. Who knows."
"I just think it's cute the way the Inklings bond, it's so fascinating to watch..." Seconds later, Zero walked past the Hearts, before the actions of the Inklings inside their room caught the robot's eye.
"Do I even need to ask what those Inklings are looking for?" Zero asked the Hearts, going against his own judgement. The way Inklings were throwing stuff around, it was making their room look like an absolute pigsty.
"The Inklings are looking for their silly ink weaponry," explained Hisui, now regretting standing by the Inkling's doorway. Made him and Kohaku look like weirdos. "Don't know why they would need it for, since they're gonna be in that race."
"Oh yeah, the race in the backyard, the one Master Hand forced the Inklings to participate in...I'm actually going to see the race with X."
Zero: Residents of the mansion are welcome to come to the race, free as charged, but as for the citizens of Seattle...well they have to be charged. $50 just to get an available seat. Master Hand is apparently charging folks to pay for the race so that taxing Star Records won't be his only means for paying off his Lamborghini. *sighs* At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Master Hand straight up married his Lamborghini...and forced everyone to partake in his "wedding". Citizens of Seattle included.
"Yes, I finally found my paintball gun, now I can race in style!" the male Inkling proclaimed, holding up his weapon of choice after throwing his belongings all over the place in his room. "Hopefully the race hasn't started yet!"
"And I found my Splattershot, can't be seen racing without it!" the female Inkling proclaimed, holding up her Splattershot. "To the racecourse, we don't have much time to lose!" The two Inklings departed from their room, which was now a mess.
"Well, time to tell X that the race will begin," said Zero as went to go search for his best friend. "I'll be seeing you Hearts around." The idea of having a race between the likes of Mario, Donkey Kong, and others enticed Kohaku, and it even intrigued the girl enough to ask Hisui the following...
"Big brother, can we go see the race ourselves?" Kohaku would ask Hisui; the older Heart would have objected, but watching a race would be a great experience for him and his sister to share.
"As long as it's free, I wouldn't mind being a spectator," Hisui shrugged, as he and Kohaku walked away from the Inklings' room. "Might be in for a great race..."
"So tell me again why we're here in the living room?" Cloud asked his woman Aerith, the two lovebirds sitting on a couch in said living room. Doc Louis was sitting next to the swordsman, eating his chocolate bars, and his loud smacking was slightly ticking Cloud off. Little Mac was on the living room floor, doing crunches.
"Because we're here to meet two very special people!" gleamed Aerith, who had met these "special people" online on some messaging site. "They have so much in common with us - they like Chocobos, and they can summon monsters, and they can..."
"Liking Chocobos and summoning monsters, those are some 'special' people right there." Why must Cloud be so darn cynical? Hasn't even met the two visitors yet, and he was already being a hater.
"Did I hear something about summoning monsters?" Lloyd asked as he entered the living room, much to the chagrin of Cloud and pretty much everyone else. "Are we about to be visited by wizards, like the ones from Hogwarts? I'd pay to see one of them!"
"Shut up Lloyd, nobody said anything about wizards and Hogwarts or any of that stuff - Cloud and Aerith are expecting a visit," explained Little Mac as he continued to do his crunches. "I'm assuming they're on Final Fantasy fame, since I heard something about Chocobos..."
"Wizards that ride on Chocobos? That sounds so cool!" And just like that, Little Mac had a sudden indignation to sucker punch Lloyd in the face.
Lloyd: You know what would be cooler than wizards riding on Chocobos? Wizards that can fly!...Well actually, they can fly on their brooms...how about the ability to turn invisible?...Nope, wait, most wizards can do that too...what about the ability to...nah, pretty sure they know how to teleport...why must wizards be so overpowered sometimes?
"Aerith Gainsborough, are you here?" a female voice called out, and later two individuals would arrive at the living room; one was a girl with pink hair tied into a ponytail, and the other a black guy with funny-looking afro. Aerith was quick to recognize who these two were.
"Ah, you two finally made it!" the flower girl exclaimed as she got up to greet the two, capturing the attention of Cloud and company. "Everyone, I would like to introduce you to some friends I befriended online - Serah Farron and Sazh Katzroy. Serah and Sazh, this is Lloyd Irving, Little Mac, Doc Louis, and my boyfriend, Cloud Strife."
"Pleasure to meet you," Cloud got up and greeted Serah and Sazh, shaking both of their hands. He didn't want to, but he had to be courteous in front of Aerith.
"Likewise, buddy, though reaching the Smash Mansion was no easy task," remarked Sazh, after shaking Cloud's hand. "We had to hitch a ride on a taxi driven by some guy name B.D. Joe to get here." Does the name B.D. Joe ring a bell to anyone?
"He was a very nice fellow, nice than most cab drivers loved that toothy smile of his," said Serah, as Doc Louis took a sudden look at Sazh. He reminded him of someone, and he just couldn't put his finger on it...until now.
"Ay, Richard Pryor, back from the dead, what's good my man!" the boxing trainer got up and greeted Sazh, confusing the airship pilot. "Beat Tupac Shakur to the punch, huh? But we all know that man is still hiding in Cuba!"
"Since when was I Richard Pryor...?" Sazh furrowed his brow, while Doc Louis continued to hold his hand. No doubt the boxing trainer was a little starstruck, and for all the wrong reasons.
"Mr. Pryor, lemme tell you something, straight from the heart...you've always been my favorite comedian. Watched all your stand-up performances on YouTube, kept me laughing all night long. And I want to see you recreate your best stand-up moments and tell us the finest jokes around, in the gaming room! I can guarantee you you'll keep people laughing until the next day! So how about it?"
"Uh...what's this about doing stand-up and telling jokes?" Sazh didn't want to do this stand-up jig, but Doc Louis was adamant on seeing "Richard Pryor" in person perform in front of a crowd, it would be a dream come true.
"Okay then, excellent, I'll see you later today!" Doc Louis broke his hand away from Sazh, as he proudly walked away, leaving Cloud to shake his head. He could only feel how embarrassed Little Mac felt right now.
"Wizards..." Lloyd said quietly, eyeing intently at Serah and Sazh, now having learned that Richard Pryor was apparently a wizard.
Sazh: Why did that man Doc Louis assume that I was Richard Pryor, just because I got an afro and I'm black don't mean anything! And he wants me to do a stand-up comedy act?! I don't even know that many good jokes! I'm just a reasonable, logical guy who pilots an airship! Not even Serah can bail me out of this...
The race in the backyard was almost ready to start, as the participants had their engines ready, and the stands were filling up with residents and Seattle citizens alike. However, the race couldn't start just yet...for the Inklings have yet to arrive.
"So Isabelle, are all the obstacles and whatnot ready?" Toad asked the shih tzu, standing at the starting line with the checkered flag in hand. The presumed drug lord was meant for waving the checkered flag.
"Yup, everything is all set - we just have to wait on the Inklings to arrive," replied Isabelle, as the Inklings' vehicles - two color-coded Instrikers - were positioned near the starting line. "They should be here by now, if they don't show up..."
"We're finally here!" the female Inkling announced as she and her male counterpart showed up, taking their vehicles. Kefka suddenly took notice of the Inklings, and stroked his chin while smiling devilishly. What could this evil jester possibly be up to?
"About TIME those darn Inklings arrived, the wait was taking FOREVER!" remarked Crazy Hand, who was located near the stands with Master Hand, his impatience slowly getting the best of him. "So Master Hand, shall we get STARTED with the race?"
"All the participants are here, so we're all set to go!" responded Master Hand, looking over to Isabelle and giving a thumbs up. Isabelle whistled, and a Lakitu in a cloud descended, holding a starting light on a fishing pole. After Lakitu did the countdown, the racers took off, with Kefka leading the back in Crazy Hand's clown car and Reiko closely behind in Master Hand's Lamborghini.
"Thought the race was supposed to be between select Mario Kart veterans, why is Reiko Nagase and that jester girl in the race?" questioned Hisui, seated with Kohaku, Zero, and a few others. The teen suspected some cheating to be taking place.
"They're both in the race because Master Hand and Crazy Hand are egotistical jerks," explained Zelda, watching closely at Link, the Hylian seamlessly dodging a banana laid out on the road. "Crazy Hand is like Master Hand's more insane counterpart, in case you didn't know."
"A giant hand that's more insane than Master Hand himself? Yikes...wouldn't wanna mess with him!" If only Hisui knew the things Crazy Hand was fully capable of doing with that crazy mind of his...
Zelda: I wouldn't mind if Link loses the race, I just hope that nothing bad happens to him, as it does most of the time when Link participates in most competitions. He can never really earn respect from his opponents, or even his teammates, and it is becoming frustrating for him. Could be because of the way he dresses, or it could be because of other factors that I'm not aware of...but honestly it could be because of the attire. Hard to respect someone who wears a funny hat and tunic day in and day out.
"If anything, I'd keep a close eye on Kefka, the jester guy," Zero said to Hisui, watching Kefka hit Wario with a red shell and laughing in his face. "He's very unpredictable, like Crazy Hand, and is prone to causing mayhem and destruction. Read nothing but bad things about the guy..."
"Seeing the misery on your face makes me so full of glee!" Kefka shouted at Wario, his voice heard from the crowd. Guy acts like the Joker of DC fame; he and the Joker would make for great friends.
"Are you sure we can't start an American k-pop group with the Fire Emblem boys?" Fox discussed with Kiria in the Star Records room, annoying the crap out of the agitated idol singer. "Chrom can be the lead singer, and Roy can be the rapper, and..."
"For the last time Fox that's not gonna work, I don't even think the men know a single lick of Korean to begin with," Kiria tried to tell Fox his idea was a bad idea, but there was no stopping the pilot, apparently. "I think you're becoming slowly desperate..."
"Oh, so thinking of brilliant ideas is now deemed being 'desperate'?!" frowned Fox, with his hands on his hips. A figure walked inside the room, breathing heavily, and it caught Kiria's attention. "You're telling me you'd rather go with Falco's crazy idea of Ganondorf being a reggae artist? Suit yourself!"
"Um, Fox, I think you should turn around..." advised Kiria, and so Fox did just that...only to be greeted by a fellow in a Darth Vader costume. He was breathing heavily, staring at Fox very intently.
"Fox McCloud...I am your father..." the individual spoke in true Darth Vader fashion. Didn't take Fox that long to recognize the person who would partake in such foolishness.
"Corrin, why on earth are you dressed up as Darth Vader?" the pilot questioned the prince of Nohr, who groaned in frustration once his name was called. Corrin and the person that bought the Darth Vader costume now has to hold an L for life.
"I am not 'Corrin', I am Darth Vader, the right-hand man of Emperor Palpatine! Do not talk to your own father that way, if you know what's good for you!"
"Dude you have some serious problems, you might need some help." Disgusted by Fox's comment, Corrin tried to use the Force on the pilot, tightening his hand in a fist, but it had no effect on Fox whatsoever because of obvious reasons. "Thank you for proving my point..."
"I shall deal with you later...son." On that remark, Corrin stormed out of the room, just when Falco arrived, looking back at Corrin like he was some crazy person.
"Why was Darth Vader in our Star Records office just now?" Falco asked Fox and Kiria, hoping they would know the answer. Because he had a ton questions running about in his head.
"That was actually Corrin in a Darth Vader getup," clarified Kiria, leading Falco to nod his head knowingly. It all made sense to him now...
Sonic: This is just unbelievable...here I am, in the Smash Mansion full of all sorts of famous video game guys and gals...and not a single person in this establishment owns a Nintendo Switch! You're telling me that not even Mario, or Link, or even Donkey Kong own a Switch? I was actually hoping one of the Hyrule champions that visited us would give us a Switch, but they didn't even have one! And for that, Mipha loses all her credibility as a swimming teacher, her swimming lesson with me has forever been negated! So to raise some money to buy a Switch, I convinced my main man Tails to help me set up something that will reel in easy dough...
"Surely you realize that I won't be the one doing all the work," Tails said to Sonic, standing with the hedgehog and Shaymin at a lemonade stand. Yes, Sonic was raising money for the switch by selling lemonade, and he enlisted Tails and Shaymin to assist him in making money.
"Whoever said you'd be doing all the work?" questioned Sonic, ashamed Tails would ask such a question. "Our duties will be split up - you make and serve lemonade to people, while I posture enough to bring potential costumers to our stand! Shaymin will be our mascot!" Those certainly were terms Tails did not agree with by any means. "Look Tails, our first customers, look alive!" Sonic looked natural as Ness and Ike approached the lemonade stand.
"Selling some ice-cold lemonade, I see?" Ness asked Sonic and Tails, feeling a little thirsty. That's what hitting baseballs outside will do to ya. "Gotta admit, the lemonade sure looks delicious!"
"Sup Ness, sup Ike! Hey Ike, didn't you have a puppet with you?" Sonic looked at the swordsman's hands, and saw Puppet Mia missing. "Did you and your puppet girlfriend have a 'falling out' and broke up?"
"Duck Hunt Dog was responsible for our breakup...rather, he broke Mia up into pieces with his gnashing teeth," explained Ike, holding up the remnants of Puppet Mia. "Poor Mia didn't even have a chance..." Puppet Mia being torn up was probably best for Ike anyways.
"Sorry about your loss man...anyways, would you care for some lemonade? Made it all myself!" It was actually Tails who made the lemonade under Sonic's command, but of course Sonic would take as much credit as possible.
"Thanks, but no thanks...Ness and I just wanted to see what you and Tails were up to. We'll just settle for some water inside the mansion." Ike would leave with Ness, as Sonic sported a frown on his face. Talk about a blown opportunity.
"Look on the bright side Sonic, at least someone had the gall to stop by our lemonade stand!" exclaimed Shaymin, garnering a glare from Sonic that was enough to make her grin with nervousness.
While Viridi tended to a flower in a small flower pot, her boyfriend Pit was busy playing games in the arcade room with Kirby, when suddenly the goddess of nature heard some voices from a nearby room. These voices sounded like grown men, and the way they were talking made it seem like they were bad guys.
Viridi: I don't care if Pit received a mouthing from Palutena for dismantling Link's truck, Link shouldn't have ordered my boyfriend to repair his stupid truck in the first place! *sighs lovingly* But it would have been lovely if Pit was working on Link's truck shirtless, and I was there to see it in person...the most perfect eye candy there is!
"Sorry to interrupt you boys, but I hear some manly voices coming from that room over there," Viridi said to Pit and Kirby, who were busy pounding enemies on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game they were playing. Nothing could deter the duo from beating the snot out of Shredder's henchmen.
"Not now Viridi, we're so close to beating the game!" said Pit, even though he and Pit started up a new game a while ago. "Kirby and I have a lot of carnage to do!"
"But Pit, I heard some very manly voices from the room, and it seemed like they're discussing something suspicious!" Despite Viridi's complaints, Pit and Kirby continued to play their game, leading the goddess of nature to unplug the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade machine altogether.
"Viridi you hideous monster, why do you refuse to let us be great?!" Kirby frowned at the goddess, who grabbed both Pit's and Kirby's ears (does Kirby even have ears?) as she dragged the duo to the room, opening the door just a little so the trio could peek inside...
...and they were all left in shock by what they were seeing. Inside the room was two men, flanked by their respective henchmen. On one side of the room was the leader of Team Rocket, Giovanni, sharply dressed in a black suit while being flanked by Jessie, James, and Meowth. On the other side of the room was some bald old guy with his back hunched over, with yellow eyes, pointy ears, and a black and white coat, flanked by Xemnas and some guy wearing a traditional Organization XIII cloak.
"Tell me more about this 'invasion' you speak of," Giovanni spoke with the old man, as Viridi and company looked on; whatever information the trio acquired from eavesdropping could be passed on to Master Hand.
"It's just a Heartless invasion, which will first start off in this city," the old man explained his diabolical plan to Giovanni, speaking with evil intent. "Once we conquer this city, we shall conquer the rest of this putrid country...and later on, the rest of the world!" Clearly world domination was a central goal for the old geezer.
"And what about the legendary Pokemon Team Rocket captured, do you wish to use them in the invasion?" Team Rocket, successfully capturing legendary Pokemon? That's something their anime counterparts can't ever do.
"The more legendary Pokemon you have, the merrier - I can change them into giant, destructive Heartless that have the potential to level cities! Does that sound enticing enough to you, Giovanni, or do I need to convince you a bit more?"
"No, no, you already gave me a convincing enough offer...shouldn't expect anything less of the leader of the Organization XIII. Nice doing business with you...Master Xehanort." Giovanni evilly shook hands with the old man, Master Xehanort, leaving Viridi and company shocked. Viridi and Kirby were shocked to learn that Team Rocket was now officially working with the Organization, and Pit...not so much.
Pit: Wait, so let me get this straight...the Master Xehanort geezer in the arcade room...he's not an ice cream truck guy? Maybe to you he isn't, but I'm affirmative that the old guy is drives an ice cream truck around the city, that coat of his is a dead giveaway.
"We have to do something, and quickly!" Viridi said to Pit and Kirby, stressing the mighty importance of telling someone about the newly formed Team Rocket-Organization XIII coalition. Some major trouble was looming ahead for the residents of the Smash Mansion...and everyone in Seattle and around the world.
"Yeah we should, we can't have Team Rocket commit evil deeds with an evil ice cream truck guy, who knows what tricks he has up his sleeve!" exclaimed Pit, loud enough for Giovanni, Master Xehanort, and those inside the room to hear. Viridi closed the door in the nick of time before the cover was blown.
"...Master Hand must be at the race, so we'll just have to tell someone trustworthy about the meeting so they can pass it on to Master Hand," whispered Viridi, at first angry with Pit but later forgiving him because he was her boyfriend.
Back to the race in the backyard, which was closely contested - a lot of lead changes, and a lot of blue shells going about. Right now Link was in the lead, and his lead would come to an end when Kefka passed by, firing some poison gas in the Hylian's eyes and making him drop to fifth place. Only a few spectators noticed this.
"Is it just me, or did Kefka just cheat?" questioned Wii Fit Trainer, seeing Kefka use the poison gas with her own clear eyes. "Don't think poison gas is an acceptable weapon in a standard Mario Kart race!"
"Pfft, don't know why you're so concerned, I practically cheat in Mario Kart races all the time without anyone knowing!" bragged Bowser, garnering the attention of spectators around him. "Yeah, so what if I cheat?! You punks all wish you could do the same thing!"
"Bowser, are you wearing a 'I always root for Mario' t-shirt?" Wii Fit analyzed the very shirt the koopa king was wearing, which came with the text and the head of Mario, smiling like a goober. Bowser looked down at the shirt, and feigned innocence.
"What shirt are you talking about, I don't wear shirts, I just wear my trusty green shell all day!" frowned Bowser as he took off his shell, before taking off the shirt in question, allowing nearby folks to see his gnarly back before putting the shell back on. "You must be seeing things, Wii Fit, might wanna go see a psychiatrist real quick!" Bowser would throw the Mario shirt at the racecourse, where it would land in the hands of Kefka, who then threw the shirt in the face of the male Inkling, who was behind the jester. The youngster would scream and panic as he lost control of his kart, before crashing into a wall. The female Inkling would pass by and see her fellow Inkling buddy, bruised and battered, and drove over to check on the male Inkling before parking her kart on the grass and getting out of the vehicle.
"Master Hand that STUPID Inkling has seemingly pulled HERSELF out of the race!" exclaimed Crazy Hand, visibly disgusted by the Inkling showing compassion for her best friend. Compassion was one of the many positive traits not seen in Crazy Hand's DNA. "Are we just going to let the race CONTINUE?"
"Might as well, a stoppage would keep people waiting," said Master Hand, left with no other choice to have. "The longer they wait, the more impatient they'll become, and the more likely they'll leave and ask for a refund!" As for Master Hand, generosity was a positive trait not found in his DNA.
Master Hand: Sure I boatloads of money from the crowd, but it's not enough - I will need more! More money to not only pay the car bills for my Lamborghini, but to upgrade my lovely car! Jacky can flaunt his "built-in video game system" all he wants, but I'll do one better...I'll install a flat-screen TV in my Lamborghini for the driver to watch! Everytime they look at the TV screen and not at the road, I'll zap 'em each time, and it's more than likely they'll look at the TV screen more than anything - which will mean more gutless torture for me! A win-win all around!
"Thank you for the free lemonade Sonic, much appreciated buddy!" Itsuki thanked the hedgehog as he and Tsubasa took a sip from their lemonade, which they received from Tails. Sonic wanted the Star Records duo to pay for the lemonade, but Tails had completely forgone that.
"Don't mention it, it's my pleasure," replied Sonic, as he glared at Tails, who was smiling intently. No way would the yellow fox force Sonic to make his fellow residents pay for some lousy lemonade.
"Um, Sonic, I don't mean to dishearten you, but...I think you got some competition on your hands," Tsubasa said, pointing at something; Sonic would look at the direction the idol singer was pointing, and immediately feared for the worst...
There was another lemonade stand, set up in the hedgehog's vicinity! This lemonade stand was manned by Mega Man, who was accompanied by Ganondorf; the blue bomber sold some lemonade to a customer, making Sonic furious - how dare that robot sell lemonade before he did!
"Have a great day, take care!" Mega Man called out to the customer, walking away with a cup of lemonade in their hand. Mega Man would look to his right, and saw Sonic, seething in anger. "Hey Sonic, didn't see you there! You're selling lemonade too? That's great!"
Mega Man: The reason why I'm selling lemonade is to raise money to purchase Dr. Light a new computer - Knight Man accidentally broke the original computer with his Knight Crusher, so I'm buying Dr. Light a totally new device. Since Proto Man is off watching the race, Ganondorf will be my sidekick for today...
"Just ignore him Mega Man, he's just trying to make a good impression on others," chuckled Ganondorf, remembering what Sonic did back in episode 69. "How can it be that a jerk like him be doing such great things in recent times? He's just trying to save face, that's all!"
"Let me at him, let me at him!" Sonic tried to run over to Ganondorf so he could throw hands with the demon lord, but Tails and Itsuki had to hold the hedgehog back. While they did so, Cilan approached Mega Man's lemonade stand, checking the stand out and all.
"Nice lemonade stand you got there, Mega Man!" commented the connoisseur, before taking out a five dollar bill from his wallet. "You mind if I purchase a cup of lemonade? I know I probably shouldn't, since we live in the same building together, but Master Hand still has us paying for snacks in the vending machine room..."
"No worries Cilan, it's all good, five dollars would be great for our funds," said Mega Man as he accepted Cilan's five bucks, and gave the connoisseur a tall glass of lemonade, as the fury and indignation inside of Sonic slowly built up. "Spread the word about our lemonade stand to the folks around the city, we'll need as many customers as we can get!"
"I'd be glad to promote your lemonade stand - business will be booming for you in no time!" Cilan gave Mega Man and Ganondorf a thumbs up as he walked away with his lemonade, ready to tell the citizens of Seattle about the lemonade stand. And that left Sonic ticked as ever.
"Told you we should have made Itsuki and Tsubasa pay for their drinks, now we're behind in funds," Sonic scolded Tails, before an interesting thought popped up in the hedgehog's head. "Ooh, I know, how about we have Shaymin promote our lemonade stand by flying around Seattle and telling people that we're selling lemonade in front of the Smash Mansion? What could possibly go wrong?"
"Sonic you ignorant buffoon, that promotion plan of yours won't work," stated Ganondorf, giving his two cents. "Everyone would be scared to death at the sight of a flying reindeer talking to them!" Dude had a fair point, a flying talking reindeer would be something out of the ordinary.
"Shut up Ganon, no one told you to be eavesdropping on my plans! How about you stick to selling your crappy lemonade, and leave us alone!" Looks like a lemonade competition was brewing...
Having been forced into a stand-up comedy gig by the man who mistook him for Richard Pryor, Doc Louis, Sazh was seated in the gaming room, going over some cue cards Cloud found for him in Lucina's room, all with jokes written on them. And yes, the cue cards were written by Lucina, so you should know how stupendously great the jokes were.
"'A clown opened the door for me the other day...and I thought it was a nice jester'?" Sazh read one of the cue cards out loud, baffled by how corny the joke was. "Cloud, my man, I can't use these jokes, it'll make my stand-up routine become an absolute cringefest!"
"The jokes worked for my friend Lucina, so it would work for you," was Cloud's response; the jokes only worked because Amy Rose pretty much paid off Lucina's crowd to laugh at the jokes back in episode 31...just to weaken Sephiroth. "Besides, what do you got to lose? If you bomb the comedy act, then Doc will no longer think you're Richard Pryor, and he'll leave you alone."
"Wait, so you're NOT Richard Pryor, the comedian?" Diddy Kong, who had walked by overhearing the conversation, gasped as he looked at Sazh with astonishment. "Doc Louis, of all people, lied to me?! This is unacceptable..." Diddy Kong angrily walked away, his day having been ruined.
Diddy Kong: As anyone else, I was super pumped to learn from Doc Louis that Richard Pryor had returned from the dead, looking like he did when he was younger, to deliver a stand-up comedy act of the ages at the Smash Mansion. But now I've learned that the chocolate Doc has been eating is rotting his brain, and unfortunately there's no stopping Doc's chocolate addiction anytime soon.
"How's it coming along boys?" Aerith asked Cloud and Sazh as she and Serah approached the men. "Are you still going forth with the stand-up gig, Sazh? Doc Louis is madly promoting it around the mansion as we speak!"
"I don't know man, I would give it up, but Doc Louis is making it hard to do so..." frowned Sazh, looking down at the floor. This was not how he envisioned Smash Mansion visit to carry out. "But Cloud did say that if I bomb on purpose, then Doc will no longer think I'm Richard Pryor, and then he'll leave me alone for good! At the same time though, Doc would react negatively if I were to do that..."
"Ay, Richard Pryor, what up my man!" Doc Louis exclaimed as he entered the gaming room to greet Sazh, who wanted nothing from the boxing trainer. "Getting prepared for your awesome stand-up comedy routine, I assume? I told many people around the mansion about your routine, and they all said that they cannot wait to see you do your thing!" No doubt Doc Louis was bluffing just to make Sazh feel better. "Ready to give the crowd what they came for?"
"Can we just cancel the routine all together and let me be? Is that so hard to ask for?" Already Doc Louis was putting unwanted pressure on Sazh, and the boxing trainer really wanted to see some greatness from Sazh.
"Look Richard, I know what you're thinking - you want to live life to the fullest after returning from the dead, you wanna relax and enjoy what these modern times have to offer, I get it! But you're Richard freaking Pryor, you'd love to make folks like myself laugh their butts off! I'm absolutely positive that your stand-up comedy act will be a rousing success, just you wait and see!" Doc Louis would give Sazh a comforting pat on his shoulder as he walked away, leaving the airship pilot to look down at the floor again.
"We could always pay off the audience to laugh at Sazh's jokes, if that will make Doc happy," suggested Serah; it worked for Lucina in the past, so why wouldn't it work for Sazh?
Discouraged by the lack of customers, Sonic did whatever means necessary to bring customers to his lemonade stand. And what better way than to have your best friend spit out some bars about lemonade to bring customers over?
"Having your friend rap for you isn't going to give you customers, Sonic," Ganondorf told the hedgehog as Mega Man made yet another transaction. Already there was an overwhelming crowd near the robot's lemonade stand, and it was overbearingly hard for the blue bomber to serve so many people.
"At least Sonic is slowly learning," Mega Man said to Ganondorf after selling a cup of lemonade to someone. He can buy that new computer for Dr. Light in no time. "Slowly, but surely...he'll get there soon."
Random Man: *holding lemonade in his hand* Of course I would be open to buying another cup of lemonade from Mega Man, his lemonade is absolutely slammin'! But would I get lemonade from Sonic the Hedgehog? *thinks for a second* Probably not, his rapping friend Knuckles is lowkey scaring me away from the lemonade stand. Not to mention that he had the audacity to call out my mom for no reason because I didn't buy any lemonade from Sonic! You don't talk about anyone's mom like that, unless they throw shades at your Jordans! Then it gets personal!
"Yo, y'all trust those blokes at that stand selling lemonade?" Knuckles rapped, trying to bring Mega Man and Ganondorf down for the benefit of Sonic and Tails. "Mega Man looks like some silly cosplaying boy, and Ganondorf in his life will never get..." Before Knuckles could finish his rap, he was suddenly attacked by Ganondorf, who kicked the echidna to the ground. The crowd was turning up for no reason, with some individuals pointing and laughing at Knuckles as he writhed on the ground.
"Hey man, you can't just bully my mascot like that, he's supposed to be bringing me in good business!" Sonic frowned at Ganondorf; what "good business" was the hedgehog even talking about? Knuckles didn't even bring a single soul to his lemonade stand!
"Oh so he's not your best friend, he's just a 'mascot' to you now? You're just using your friendship with Knuckles expecting to get some money! Well that's now how business works, you can't just have someone rap about your lemonade stand while throwing jeers at your competition for no reason!"
"Ganondorf leave Knuckles alone, we got some more lemonade to sell," Mega Man said to the demon lord, who returned to his lemonade stand while engaged in a staredown with Sonic, doing the classic "I'm always watching you..." hand sign to the hedgehog. "Sonic may continue to remain a thorn in our back throughout most of the day, but that should give you no reason to attack one of his friends!"
Ema Skye was in the workshop, working tirelessly on a new invention of sorts. It was something the forensics investigator has been working on ever since she first arrived at the mansion, and she never had the time to really work on it until today.
"Hey Ema, watcha working on?" Kamui entered the workshop, seeing Ema busy at the desk. The invention was a lengthy ray gun, one with all sorts of miniature gadgets on it. "Working on a ray gun that can paralyze people like Marth?"
"Oh, no, it's nothing like that, it's far from it," assured Ema, sporting a smile on her face. "This is a ray gun I've been working on since I've been here, and it has much to do with the Heartless. Can't really go into detail about what it can do yet..."
"Is it a ray gun that can effectively defeat Heartless?" Kamui's question made Ema think about her response for a bit, and it suggested that maybe defeating Heartless wasn't the main function of the ray gun...maybe there was something more, something deeper than that.
"I wouldn't say it can outright defeat Heartless - let's just say that it does something, and leave it at that. Don't want to give you and the others any spoilers, it would greatly ruin the surprise!"
Ema: We haven't had a Heartless threat ever since that dragon tried to attack the city four weeks ago, so yeah, it's been pretty peaceful in Seattle for the most part. Now that I mention it, I've hardly seen the Organization since then! Must be on a vacation...considering the fact they're "nobodies", does the Organization even go on vacations? Or are they just boring villains wearing black cloaks to make others feel intimidated? Well it's surely not working on me...
"There you are Kamui, glad we found you," said Fox as he and Falco entered the workshop, quickly grabbing the attention of the Nohrian princess. "There's something seriously wrong with your twin brother."
"Tell me something I don't know..." remarked Kamui, wishing Corrin was normal like her. You'd think that twin siblings would be on the same page, both in terms of not only knowledge but behavior. "What is Corrin up to this time, I wonder?"
"He's been walking around in a Darth Vader costume and acting like Darth Vader himself," Falco explained like it was urgent that Kamui knew this information. "Betcha he's going about telling random people he's their 'father'..."
"Oh I see...knew I shouldn't have bought Corrin that costume at the Star Wars convention." Now Kamui has to hold down an L for life with her twin brother, only she would have the gall to buy a Darth Vader costume for that simpleton Corrin.
"Why would you buy him something from there in the first place?" questioned Ema, recollecting the Sphero BB-8 toy robot Kamui bought for Corrin; nobody knows if Corrin ever uses that thing, or if Kamui still kept it somewhere. "As his sister, you should know what that boy is capable of."
"Yes, I know buying him the costume was a bad idea, but I just wanted him to be happy and all...and I have to admit, he does look good in black."
The lemonade stand competition (...or the lack thereof) between Sonic and Mega Man was at an all-time high, with dozens of people flanking Mega Man's lemonade stand, and literally nobody at Sonic's lemonade stand except for the blue hedgehog and Tails; Shaymin flew off to who-knows-where. Sonic, growing more and more desperate by the minute, was adamant on finding customers.
"Either you losers buy our lemonade, or I'll electrocute this koopa and his siblings to death!" threatened Sonic, situated near the Koopalings, who all had electrical wiring wrapped around at their ankles. This wiring was connected to a remote control Sonic was holding, which had a red button.
"You wouldn't dare to electrocute us, we all know you aren't capable enough!" Bowser Jr. jeered at Sonic; the koopa's father was busy watching the race, so using the Koopalings to attract customers was all good for Sonic.
"Oh yeah, well how about you watch me try, and then we'll see who's talking!" Two minutes passed, and still no one came to Sonic's lemonade stand. "What is WRONG with you people, you'd want to see these poor, young koopas electrocuted because of your disgusting sense of apathy?"
"Just give it up Sonic, none of your 'marketing and promotion' ploys are gonna work," Tails told the hedgehog, feeling bored with his chin resting on the palm of his hand. "At this point, we might as well throw in the towel, we're not gonna sell a single cup of lemonade today..."
Sonic: What could possibly be drawing people to Mega Man's lemonade stand, what is that robot's secret? Could it be charm? No, that can't be it, Ganondorf's ugliness negates any charm Mega Man has. Could it be friendliness? I mean, I'm not the friendliest guy out there, but compared to Ganondorf, I ain't that bad. Could it be because of the cheap prices? Both our lemonade were worth $5...until Ganondorf suggested to Mega Man that they lower the prices of their lemonade by half. *snaps fingers* Aha, that's it, Mega Man is only selling lemonade because of Ganondorf's presence! If I can replace Tails with a Gerudo that can intimidate folks, then I'll be selling lemonade and making dough in no time!
"If it helps, you could sabotage Mega Man and Ganondorf by peeing in their lemonade," suggested Iggy, which got Sonic thinking. "That would really drive the costumers away and bring them over to your stand!"
"Good thinking Iggy, why haven't I thought of that?" said Sonic, putting his Gerudo idea to the side (for now). The hedgehog looked at his best friend Tails, who looked dismayed as heck. "Tails, would you be a dear and pee in Mega Man's lemonade? I promise not to give you noogies for an entire week if you do!"
"Sonic, I'm not going to sabotage Mega Man and Ganondorf, it would do us more harm than anything," stated Tails, angering Sonic. Shaymin returned to Sonic's lemonade stand from her little excursion; who knows where the gratitude Pokemon went off to.
"Shaymin can you pee in Mega Man's lemonade, since Tails wants to be a class-A jerk for whatever reason? Might even fire the guy, if that will do anything!" Tails wouldn't give a crap either way.
"Pee in Mega Man's lemonade?" Shaymin raised a curious eyebrow at Sonic. "Oh yeah, I just did that, when nobody was looking! Wanted to tinkle in one of the bushes, but there were some poison ivy, so..."
"Good girl, you're so many eons ahead of Tails, I could always count on you Shaymin!" Sonic would pet the gratitude Pokemon, leaving Tails to look away and facepalm. "Didn't even know Pokemon like yourself have urinary movements - you learn something new every day, don't ya." Sonic would watch as Ganondorf served Mega Man's now contaminated lemonade to a customer, who took a sip from the lemonade before grimacing.
"Ugh, this lemonade tastes like piss, with sugar added to it!" the customer frowned, shaking his head with disgust. "Still worth two dollars and fifty cents, though!" Sonic's jaw would drop to the ground as the customer happily walked away with his urine-filled cup of lemonade in his hand.
"Perhaps I should have defecated in the lemonade as well, that would've done the trick," remarked Shaymin, Sonic's mouth still very much agape in shock.
"How are you enjoying your tea Nowi, does it taste like pure bliss?" Captain Falcon asked the woman he was on a date with in the lounge, Nowi. The half-Manakete giggled, leaving Falcon confused whether or not his analogy stunk.
"Pure bliss just might be an understatement," smiled Nowi, leading Captain Falcon to smile as well. As you would believe, Robin was the one who set up the date, and yes, he had the Black Knight serve Captain Falcon and Nowi some tea. The mage was chilling in the back, monitoring the date.
Robin: Already worked with Dark Pit, Chrom, Wario, and Ganondorf with their dates over the past week, and they were all a rousing success! Today I'll be working with Captain Falcon and his girlfriend Nowi, and I still can't believe that...
Black Knight: *running up to Robin* Hey Robin, wouldn't it be funny if we put poison in Nowi's tea, and placed the blame squarely on Captain Falcon? Oh man, that would be rich, I can see Captain Falcon be all like "No babe, it wasn't me!", and then Nowi splashes her tea all over the guy, and then storms out of the room in anger! Would that count as wishful thinking?
Robin: Yes, and that would also count as the end of my romantic expert ways...don't screw anything up, Black Knight.
"Robin we have a dire emergency on our hands!" exclaimed Viridi, as she, Pit, and Kirby ran inside the lounge, the only room where they knew they would find the tactician. "Organization XIII is up to no good again!"
"The Organization has returned to Seattle again?" questioned Robin, putting the date on hold. Captain Falcon and Nowi both looked up, equally concerned. "What are they up to this time?"
"They're plotting to take over Seattle and then the rest of the world with Team Rocket and a old ice cream truck guy!" explained Pit, leaving Robin and company half confused - they were shocked to learn that Team Rocket and the Organization were actually working together, but were strongly caught off-guard about the ice cream truck guy assertion from Pit.
"...what Pit is trying to say is, the 'ice cream truck guy', a.k.a. the leader of the Organization, Master Xehanort, had a meeting with Giovanni, and both men agreed to embark on an invasion of Seattle," clarified Kirby, as Robin and company were no longer confused. "Once they're finished with Seattle, they'll aim for global dominance and take over the rest of the world...with Heartless!"
"Yeah, that's right, the ice cream truck guy and the leader of the Organization struck a deal with Giovanni earlier today!" This statement left Pit depressingly confused. "Wait, so where did the Organization leader come from? I didn't even see him!"
"Notifying Master Hand or Isabelle would be the best way to address the situation, but I'm afraid they're both at the race outside, which I assume isn't finished yet," said Robin as he stroked his chin, thinking of a suitable plan until a good one generated in his hand. "I know, why don't we put an important note on Master Hand's bed explaining the situation? We could call Isabelle, but that girl seldom answers her phone..."
The greatly one-sided lemonade stand competition between Sonic and Mega Man was drawing to a close, as Ganondorf sold the last bit of lemonade to the very last customer, making up over a thousand dollars in lemonade sales. Sonic and Tails, on the other hand, did not sell a single drop of their lemonade, and it made Sonic very discouraged to not have one customer at his stand.
"Thank you for your service, have a nice day!" Ganondorf called out to the customer, as Mega Man tallied up the money accumulated. With the money he got today, the robot could spend the cash on things other than Dr. Light's computer. "How did we do, Mega Man, what's our final total?"
"We have...let's see, carry the one...up to $1,500 total from selling lemonade!" exclaimed Mega Man, much to the chagrin of a bitter Sonic. "Now I can buy that new computer for Dr. Light, and maybe a bunch of stuff I can use for myself! Thanks for helping me out Ganondorf, really do appreciate it!"
"Don't mention it...though it would be worthwhile if you share some of the money with me once you buy that new computer." Knowing Mega Man's generosity, the robot would be more than willing to share money with the demon lord.
Ganondorf: What do I plan to do with the money Mega Man will share with me? Easy - purchase Rosalina an expensive gift she will enjoy! But I can't be too cliche with the gift - so beauty products are terribly out of the question. Fancy dresses are out of the question too, I'm sure Rosalina can find herself some lovely attire at a clothing store somewhere. That would leave me with...nothing, for the most part. Why must women always make it infuriatingly hard to find them the perfect gift?
"What's good, my cool kats, how are y'all doing today?" K.K. Slider asked Mega Man and company as he was wheeling a drum set to the mansion. It was a drum set the hippie dog kept in the mansion's shed, and he would only use the set for special occasions.
"Hey K.K. Slider, what's with the drum set, are you having a performance this evening?" Tails asked the hippie dog, as Sonic angrily poured his lemonade all over the grass in defeat and frustration.
"Wouldn't exactly call it a performance...but I'll tell you the story. A friend Aerith met online, Sazh Katzroy, paid a visit to the mansion with a girl named Serah Farron, and upon first glance, Doc Louis assumed that Sazh was Richard Pryor, reincarnated and in the flesh! And now Doc wants Sazh to do a stand-up comedy routine, and I'll be drumming away at the drums, to make Sazh feel somewhat better about performing. Apparently Doc Louis went about telling people about 'Richard Pryor' coming back to life, and expects people to be in attendance for Sazh...they'll probably show up just to make Doc feel content. Aerith was the one who put me up to the whole drumming thing, by the way."
"Given the predicament Sazh found himself in, we could just show up and laugh at each one of his jokes to make him feel more comfortable." The laughing would have to be very geniuine, too. "Where exactly is the comedy routine going to take place at, K.K.?"
"At the gaming room; Doc Louis wanted to start our 'Richard Pryor' fellow Sazh off small. I'm expecting a medium-sized crowd to show up, depending on how intrigued people are."
While the race in the backyard continued, presumably lasting as long as a standard NASCAR race, the male Inkling was accompanied by the female Inkling, being inspected by nurse assistant Leia in an infirmary tent. Leia didn't expect to be tending to anyone who suffered injuries during the race, but here she was now.
"Is he going to be okay Leia?" the female Inkling asked the nurse, as the race outside continued. Mario was currently in the lead, on the last lap, with the evil jester Kefka hot on his tail.
"Your Inkling buddy will be just fine - thankfully his injury wasn't the same magnitude as Dale Earnhardt, Sr," replied Leia, checking the male Inkling's vitals and all. Had the male Inkling's injury been more serious, there would have been a small likelihood he would survive.
Now back to the race; Mario and Kefka were now fighting for first place, the plumber and the jester closely contested with one another. After taking out Villager with a red shell, Link would join the fray, and now he, Mario, and Kefka were fighting for first place. The finish line was in the sight of the three racers, and Toad, standing near the finish line, was ready to wave the checkered flag. Kefka laughed a devious laugh, and he pushed the pedal to the metal and zipped past Mario as he crossed the finish line, Toad waving the checkered flag...
...as the jester only finished in second place. But if Kefka only passed Mario, then that would mean...
"Well put me in a fancy housecoat and call me Hugh Hefner - Link actually won the race!" announced Master Hand, as he and Crazy Hand were left astonished. "That Hylian actually won something of utmost significance, pigs must be flying!" The crowd was cheering for Link, who was pumping his fist in a victory lap, but Zelda was cheering the loudest for her man.
Zelda: To think that Link, who was moping and whining about his truck, went from melancholy to gleeful after winning a highly competitive race with his friends...and two others... *smiles* ...it just puts a smile on my face thinking about it. I think that Link has officially gained back the respect he craved from his contemporaries...although that respect will go away when they remember that I'm older than Link. What's the big deal about that, I wonder?
"Not FAIR, Kefka was SUPPOSED to win, not that LOSER Link!" complained Crazy Hand, as Link skidded to a halt at the finish line, waving the checkered flag with Lakitu raining confetti on him and Toad pouring beer all over the Hylian, befitting of any NASCAR champion. "I bet Link cheated throughout the entire race, when not a single person was looking!"
"Man, talking about the pot calling the kettle black..." groaned Master Hand, having witnessed Kefka's cheating full-hand but decided against doing anything because he knew it would stop the race - and Master Hand made it clear he wouldn't stop the race for any reason. "Just be glad that your man Kefka got second place, and my woman Reiko...got seventh place. She must not be that great of a driver, no way would my precious Lamborghini finish seventh in a race! If only I got to see more of the Inklings...they were the reason why I wanted to do a race."
"Nice race, buddy, you really surprised me and a whole bunch of others," Kefka commended Link, who was now holding a trophy given to him by Lakitu. Accompanied by Kefka was Mario and the other racers, wanting to give Link some props.
"I agree, you were perhaps-a the best racer out-a there!" stated Mario; how do we know he wasn't just saying that to make Link happy? "You were in the thick-a of things throughout the entire race!"
"Now we have to hear from Crazy Hand the rest of the day about Kefka not winning," grinned Reiko, who couldn't care less if she won or lost.
Zelda, running down from the stands past the spectators that were leaving, ran up to Link, and surprised him with a hug and a kiss. Letting the two Hylians have their moment, Kefka walked away, and would stop in his tracks...when he saw the female Inkling wheel the male Inkling out of the infirmary on a wheelchair. Kefka had messed with the Inklings earlier today...and judging by the evil smirk on his face, he was about to commit another devious deed against the youngsters.
Once the festivities at the race were over, Master Hand happily returned to his room, leaving poor Isabelle and Toad to clean everything up. The giant hand would find Pit and Robin in his room, with Robin placing a letter on his practically unused bed.
"Pit, Robin, what are you bums doing in my room without my permission, and what's that letter for?" Master Hand questioned the angel and the mage. "Is that a romantic love letter you wrote for me that I can give to any woman I fall in love with? Well, aren't you the generous duo!"
"No Master Hand, it's nothing like a love letter - it's something more serious," explained Robin, grabbing Master Hand's attention right from the get-go. "Pit, Viridi, and Kirby saw a meeting between the leaders of Team Rocket and Organization XIII in a room adjacent to the arcade room, and both factions agreed upon a Heartless invasion of this city."
"And there was also an evil ice cream truck guy at the meeting too!" added Pit; poor fella will never let this false factoid go.
"Team Rocket and the Organization of all groups working together?! Not on my watch! Pit, Robin, tell Lucario to bring his scrawny behind to this room, I have some important matters to discuss with him..." Pit and Kirby looked at one another, confused as to why Master Hand would need Lucario for. "Enough of your confused looks, just do as I say!"
Serah: It's now time...time for Sazh to do his best Richard Pryor impersonation and hope for the best. We had to move the comedy shtick from the gaming room to the lecture hall, since apparently Doc Louis ran outside to the mansion's racecourse, where they had a huge race, and told the crowd who was leaving that Richard Pryor was back from the dead, to give a "legendary" performance for the ages in the mansion...and now it seems like the lecture hall is nearly packed. With all that in mind...why don't we have a moment of silence for whatever dignity Sazh will have left?
Aerith looked through the curtains of the lecture hall, and saw the crowds at the racecourse, all filing inside the lecture hall and taking their seats. The residents were also taking their seats, wanting to see if Doc Louis's claims about Richard Pryor being back from the dead were true or not (and they weren't).
"A very big crowd this evening - Doc Louis truly outdid himself!" Aerith went over to tell Sazh, who was seated in a chair with his face buried in his hands. Cloud and Serah were standing near the airship pilot, but their presence wasn't able to take away Sazh's doom and gloom. Another person who was feeling doom and gloom was Sonic, who was forced by Tails to attend the the comedy act with an aching Knuckles, if it meant turning the hedgehog's frown upside down.
"Hey you guys, got here as soon as I could!" said Amy as she took a seat next to Sonic and friends; Tails believed that Amy would be enough to make Sonic feel content, but nothing was happening yet. "Sonic, what's the matter, why do you look so glum?"
"I tried to sell some lemonade with Tails and Shaymin and not a single person offered to buy a single glass..." Sonic explained, heaving a heavy sigh. "To make matters worse, Mega Man and Ganondorf were also selling lemonade, and they raised far more money than anyone would have ever imagined!"
"Oh is that so, huh..." Amy was now looking down at the floor, like she had something to say...and now was the time to say it. "Sonic, I think I know why nobody came to your lemonade stand...it's because...it's because I told the citizens of Seattle to go to Mega Man's lemonade stand instead!" As Amy expected, Sonic looked at her with a shocked facial expression.
"Amy why would you do that for, you trying to force a breakup between us or something?! I wanted to raise money so I could buy a Nintendo Switch, and I wasn't gonna buy it for myself - I was gonna buy for everyone, for everyone to play with!"
"Well that's the thing...I already bought a Nintendo Switch for the Smash Mansion." Now Sonic looked at Amy with a surprised facial expression. "When you told Tails that you were going to sell lemonade to raise money for the Switch, Tails then told me, and then I told him about the Switch and all, and I told him I would deter people away from your lemonade stand, so you wouldn't be able to raise money to purchase something I already bought...I already hooked up the Switch in the living room for you guys to play, by the way."
"That's very nice of you Amy...aside from the keeping people away from my lemonade stand part. Guess I owe you a thank you!" Sonic looked at Tails, who smiled while giving a thumbs up; Mega Man, who wasn't so far from the Sonic crew, looked at Sonic, and also gave a thumbs up.
Sazh: Can't keep the crowd waiting, time to go onstage...whatever happens onstage stays onstage, and if this goes down as the most humiliating experience of my life...then so be it. Good thing my son Dajh won't be here to see my embarrassment.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages..." Yashiro spoke into a microphone, dressed in a sparkling suit and standing on the lecture hall stage ready to call upon the attraction of the night. "Put your hands together for...the great Richard Pryor!" The crowd was cheering and applauding initially...and the cheers and applause would die down as Sazh walked onstage, waving to a crowd that was expecting Richard Pryor...it was in this very moment that the audience learned that Doc Louis was a delusional fool.
"City of Seattle, what's poppin'!" Sazh greeted the now dead silent crowd, glad they didn't have to pay any money. "How y'all feelin'? Feelin' alright?" Understandably, nobody bothered to answer the question...unless you were Lloyd Irving.
"Yeah, Richard Pryor in the house, let's go!" the naive swordsman cheered, whistling loudly for Sazh while others seated around him just looked at the guy like he was crazier than Doc Louis. Speaking of whom, Doc was seated next to Little Mac, wondering why Lloyd was the only person cheering.
"My guy right there, that's my guy!" Sazh pointed at Lloyd, who was clapping as he sat back in his seat. Earlier today Lloyd was convinced that Sazh was a wizard, and now he thinks the guy is Richard Pryor, like Doc Louis? "Boy let me tell y'all folks - you got no idea what it's like to be alive again! When I came back to life, one of the first things I did was go fishing with Skrillex - everyone knows him, right?" Nothing but dead silence. "Shame that our fishing trip didn't go so well...because that man Skrillex kept dropping the bass!" After this joke was uttered, K.K. Slider performed a "ba-dum-tiss" on his drum set...and got no reaction from the crowd. The hippie dog was now understanding the humiliation Sazh was going through...
Suddenly the lights went out, and everyone was panicking, what with screaming, some flailing, and some individuals wetting themselves...with Lloyd being one of them. The lights would turn back on...but now standing on stage was Kefka, and he had the male and female Inklings hanging from the upper stage by a rope tied to their ankles.
"Isn't that the jester fellow from the race?" asked Rosalina, afraid just like everyone else. "Shouldn't Crazy Hand have taken Kefka back to where he was?" Crazy Hand was probably back at his place, moping and whining that Kefka didn't win the race.
"Greetings everyone, Kefka Palazzo's the name - but I bet some of you knew that already!" Kefka introduced himself to a mostly nervous crowd. "Tonight, we have two Inklings, one male and the other female...and you folks get to decide which one shall lose their life!" Only a sociopath like the Joker would think of something like this. "So who's it gonna be?"
"The one with the blue hair!" Fox called out, garnering glares from folks around him. "What, this is arguably more entertaining than that crappy excuse of a stand-up comedy act! Don't you think so, Falco?" Before Falco could answer, a certain individual would walk onstage to join Kefka and Sazh, dressed in all black...Corrin, in his Darth Vader costume.
Corrin: *breathing heavily* Emperor Palpatine will no doubt be proud of the work I've done around the Smash Mansion...he shall be indebted to me forever and ever...the rest of Seattle shall be next, and one day, everyone around the world, and across the galaxy, shall recognize...
Samus: CORRIN, FOR THE LAST TIME, THE TOASTER IS NOT USED AS A HEATING PAD, NOW PUT THE TOASTER BACK WHERE IT BELONGS!
Corrin: ...excuse me while I handle...some important business to attend to.
"Kefka Palazzo...Richard Pryor...I am your father..." Corrin would point at both men, leading some in the audience to laugh at the prince of Nohr. Both Kefka and Sazh were left deliberately confused.
"Why didn't we stop this guy when we had a chance..." Fox, now feeling for Corrin, pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing for the prince to get off the stage. But he might be staying onstage for a little bit longer...
"C'mon you two, why you gotta ruin Richard Pryor's moment?!" Doc Louis angrily got up, calling out Kefka and Corrin. "The man is doing his first comedy gig since returning from the dead, and this is how you treat him?"
"You idiotic fool, this isn't Richard Pryor...this man is Sazh Katzroy, a famed airship pilot!" Kefka had to explain to Doc Louis, who was now feeling foolish as he sat back down in his seat and remained silent. "Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted..." Kefka dug into his pants, and pulled out a long sword, licking the very blade. "How about we get to business and eradicate one of the Inklings, shall we...wait, what are you doing?!"
Kefka would ask this question to Corrin, who took the sword out of the jester's hands...with just the clenching of his fist. Somehow, someway, Corrin was using the power of the Force to take the sword away from Kefka, even though it didn't work for him first time around.
"Please, good sir, give me back my sword, I promise you I'll make my act short, sweet, and to the point..." Kefka practically begged to Corrin, who was walking towards the jester with his sword. "You don't have to use that sword, you know, you can always give it back, hehe..." Corrin took one step closer, and Kefka couldn't take it. "You know what, forget about it, you can keep that sword for all I care, doesn't even belong to me! I'll just do this act another time, and you'll all enjoy it!" Strangely admitting defeat, Kefka ran offstage, and out of the lecture hall. Corrin, seeing the crowd before him, would perform a bow, greeted by the applause and cheers of those in the lecture hall.
"About time the Force mechanism Zero installed in my Darth Vader costume worked..." Corrin said to himself, as he would use this so-called Force mechanism to lower the ropes the Inklings were tied to down to the stage, untying them both with Sazh's help. "Are you two Inklings okay?"
"Yeah we're both fine, thankfully neither of us died or anything," replied the female Inkling, smiling at the male Inkling, who smiled right back. "Don't know what I would do if something were to happen to my Inkling buddy..." Maybe that's why Kefka took such a strange interest in the Inklings, because of their friendship and how tight they were? The world may never know...
Now fully convinced that Richard Pryor truly didn't return from the dead, everyone left the lecture hall, to enjoy themselves for the rest of the night. Doc Louis, however stayed behind, and walked onstage to ask Sazh, who was speaking with Cloud, one important question...
"Are you positive that you aren't Richard Pryor?" the boxing trainer asked the airship pilot, making Sazh grin in delight. Some folks will never accept the truth...
Lucario would (finally) show up at Master Hand's room, holding an item we won't discuss until later, and would find the giant hand looking rather agitated and impatient. Master Hand was under the belief that Pit and Robin were unable to complete such an easy task.
"Sorry for showing up so late, Doc Louis said that Richard Pryor had came back from the dead and I wanted to see if it was true or not," apologized Lucario, somewhat thankful that Kefka cut into Sazh's cringeworthy performance. "So what do you want me for?"
"Pit and Robin have brought to my attention that the Organization XIII is teaming up with Team Rocket to start a Heartless invasion in this very city," explained Master Hand, explaining clearly so Lucario could get the full details. "It seems like the items Isabelle and I have been giving to you has led up to this very moment...do you have the army general sash with you?"
"You mean this thing right here?" Lucario held up the item he brought with him - an army sash. "I've seen pictures of army generals wear these around their..." Lucario suddenly remembered all the items Master Hand and Isabelle had given him in the past. "Does this mean that...?
"In light of a possible Heartless attack, I had Isabelle assemble an army of Pokemon that would counter the threat, and I also had her set up the Empty Room to find a possible general of the army...and you happened to win the distinction that day. And with that..."
"Hurry up man, I got stuff to do...don't leave me hanging, just tell me what I earned from surviving that stupid Empty Room crap."
"...Lucario, I officially declare you, General of the Pokemon Army!"