Author's Note:
Before I begin, just want to share some good news with you all...I FINALLY GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!
...a two-year college, that is. Earned an Associate in Science degree. So yeah, I'm pretty happy. And stoked. And a lot of other things. This is just the halfway point in my collegiate career, as I'm hoping to transfer to a four-year institution (University of South Carolina - go Gamecocks! And yes, that's an actual team name, in case you didn't know...) this year and get my bachelor's degree there.
Writing this story has kept my head up during the first two years of college, and reading your feedback just puts a smile on my face. During my two years, I saw new faces, and made new friends...and started this wonderful story called Smash Life, where I had the opportunity to meet folks like you. While I've been keeping up with my GPA (which is a 3.3, I believe), I've been keeping up with this story, and to this day, I'm surprised I haven't had a writer's block yet - but you people and your requests prevent that from ever happening.
Since I still feel pretty elated about graduating (to this day, I'm still playing "Graduate" by Third Eye Blind to celebrate the occasion), I won't be answering any reviews this week, but I promise you I'll answer them in the next author's note. However, I will answer this one review, from Roydigs22:
"...I just want to say that sometimes the new smash life chapter can be the highlight of my week. Never stop writing. Please."
Writing this story has been the highlight of my last three semesters in college, and seeing people reading this story and reviewing it and all that good stuff has made it all worthwhile. So I give you folks one thing you must do, to keep Smash Life ongoing...never stop reading and reviewing.
Please.
Episode 72: Conquerors
As you have learned in the previous episode, Lucario was appointed by Master Hand to be the general of the Pokemon Army. The aura Pokemon won this distinction by "surviving" the Empty Room in episode 58, and leading up to his appointment, the Pokemon had been receiving "gifts" from Master Hand and Isabelle that seemingly foreshadowed the fact that he would be Pokemon Army general.
In spite of all of this, however, there was one particular Pokemon that had felt some time of way about Lucario's title, and this Pokemon was a legendary Pokemon, one known by a very popular name among the Pokemon community...Mewtwo. The psychic Pokemon felt almost disrespected that Master Hand would give Lucario a title in the Pokemon Army over him, and he's been feeling bitter about it all week.
No longer wishing to allow his bitter saltiness get the best of him, Mewtwo headed over to Master Hand's room so could give the giant hand a piece of his mind. But when he arrived, he saw that Master Hand was busy - turns out that Master Hand was adding two more non-brawler individuals to the mansion. Sitting at a table across from Mario and Isabelle was a couple, consisting of a young green-haired man adorned in blue knight's armor, and a young red-haired woman wearing a lovely white dress. From the get-go, Mewtwo sensed that the couple was in fact a married couple...even though they looked a little too young to be wedded.
"Before we can offically sign any paperwork, I must ask you this...are you two sure about leaving your home continent of Valentia?" Master Hand asked the couple, just to be on the safe side. The giant hand wouldn't mind ruling over Valentia with an iron fist.
"Eh, they're apparently renaming Valentia Valm, as a homage to myself, so the leaders there can do whatever they want," replied the young man, named Alm. "Not necessarily a huge fan of the new leadership there."
"Yes, Alm and I, we used to have control over Valentia...until some things happened along the way and now there's a new ruler in place," added the young woman, named Celica, whose face was so pretty, Master Hand even found distracting (but in a somewhat good way). "So we wish to move to the Smash Mansion, to not only continue our marriage, but to distance ourselves from some of the newer folks in rule at Valentia...erm, Valm."
Mario: Alm and Celicia have-a been frequenting the mansion over the course-a of the week - they've been-a considering living at the Smash-a Mansion in wake of all that's-a been happening in their home-a continent, and they've been staying at a hotel down-a town until we could-a negotiate a deal-a with them to live at the mansion. Of course, we don't-a do this with new folks-a living at the mansion, but Alm and Celicia used-a to be king and-a queen, which means that Master Hand-a has been trying to pry into their...financial matters...
"Alright then, it's a done-a deal!" announced Mario, gladly shaking hands with Alm and Celicia. "You two are both-a officially residents of the Smash-a Mansion!" No more having to deal with crappy Seattle hotel room service for the Valentian couple.
"Allow me to show you where you'll be staying - Mr. Game and Watch, our housekeeper, has been preparing your room extensively in preparation for your move-in!" Isabelle said to Alm and Celicia as she led the couple out of Master Hand's room. Mewtwo waited for the shih tzu and the couple to depart (he would introduce himself to Alm and Celicia, but he already took care of that when the couple made their visits to the mansion), once they were gone, it was time for him to make his move.
"Master Hand, you mind if I speak with you for a quick second?" the psychic Pokemon asked the giant hand, while Mario placed the table back where it was...too bad he didn't even know where the table came from. "It's about the Pokemon Army..."
"How on earth did you know about the Pokemon Army, I thought I told that dumb woman Isabelle to keep it a secret from the..." Master Hand snapped on Mewtwo, before remembering that Mewtwo was a psychic Pokemon and that he knew everything that was going on. "...oh, you must have eavesdropped on my conversation with Lucario in your mind from afar, sorry for my aggressiveness. So what's this about the Pokemon Army?"
"Well I was thinking that, since you gave Lucario a title in the Pokemon Army, maybe perhaps you could give me a title as well." Master Hand mused over this offer; giving Mewtwo a Pokemon Army title would make a ton of sense in most aspects, but would it be totally worth it?
"Hmm, I'll give it some thought over the course of the day. I could really use a lieutenant in the Pokemon Army, one that could work alongside with Lucario and serve as a second-in-command. That would be really useful."
"Yes, yes, name me the lieutenant of the Pokemon Army, that's the perfect job for...me?" Mewtwo watched depressingly as Master Hand floated away, leaving the psychic Pokemon in the dust. This made Mewtwo very angry, and you wouldn't want to see this Pokemon in an angry mood.
"Don't-a worry Mewtwo, Master Hand will give-a you a lieutenant title soon, just gotta give him-a time!" Mario, still looking for a place to put the table at, tried to cheer up Mewtwo, only to receive a Shadow Ball courtesy from the psychic Pokemon, a Shadow Ball enough to send Mario flying towards a wall and break the table in the process. That Shadow Ball really helped with Mario complete his task...sorta.
"I don't need the lieutenant title soon, I need it NOW! What could Master Hand possibly be giving thought about, what Pokemon in this mansion would be a great candidate for the lieutenant job?!" Gallade comes to mind, he would be a great candidate for the job. "If I want Master Hand to give me the role of Pokemon Army lieutenant, then I must do something to gain his trust, something that would instill faith in him that I can get the job done...and you're going to help me!" Mewtwo furiously pointed at Mario, his aching back against the wall.
"Mama mia..." the lumber moaned as he slowly slid off the wall, before falling to the floor. He could really use a chiropractor right about now.
Alm: Don't get me wrong, Celica and I would have loved to spend our married lives in Valentia...or should I say, Valm...but we're not a huge fan of the direction the kingdom is taking, and so we're moving on to bigger and better pastures - the Smash Mansion, where we'll live with the residents, and get to know them, and make some new friends!
Celica: Granted we're not "brawlers", but you don't have to be a brawler in order to enjoy life at the mansion. We shall make great use of the opportunity we have, and get to know the others well!
Alm: Hey Celicia, I saw that they sell tofu in one of the vending machines in the vending room...wanna go check it out later?
Celica: *smiles as she gazes into Alm's eyes* You completely had me at "tofu"...
After Alm and Celica were guided to their room by Isabelle and got all their stuff arranged (they didn't have much belongings to bring with them), the couple headed down to the gaming room, to spend some quality time together and form new bonds with the mansion residents. Once Celica stepped foot inside the gaming room...
"Yoo hoo, Celica, over here!" Zelda called out to the queen (yes, Celica's a queen), seated next to Aerith, Rosalina, and Kiria, engaged in some girl talk. Zelda and Celica bonded a lot during Celica's visits to the mansion. "We have a seat reserved just for you!"
"Looks like you're on your own, Alm," Celica smiled at the king (and yes, Alm's a king) as she went to go join Zelda and company. Alm now had his hands on his hips, looking for something to do, when his eyes fell upon Link and Ganondorf, two bitter rivals going at it in a game of table football. Itsuki was standing near the two, noodling around on his cellphone, and Alm, wanting to spark a conversation with Itsuki, quickly headed over to the Star Records manager. Itsuki would look up, and see Alm coming towards him.
"Don't think we've ever met before, though I did see you and your hanging around - Itsuki Aoi's the name," Itsuku would introduce himself to Alm, shaking hands with the king. "I take it that you're name is...Alan?" Alm just glared at Itsuki, in pure disbelief that he would botch his name.
"The name is Alm..." the king blankly replied, his glare intact for a few more seconds before going away. "...but it's nice to meet you. Really enjoy your fashion sense, that jacket really suits you well. I don't know much yet about American fashion, so you can just take that with a grain of salt..."
"To be fair, this attire I'm wearing technically isn't American fashion...but hey, I'll take whatever I can get." Suddenly out of nowhere, Link would scream in typical Link fashion, as he scored a goal in Ganondorf's net to secure victory over the demon lord, now ticked that he was defeated by his arch-nemesis.
"In your face Ganondorf, I beat you at your own game, fair and square!" Link taunted in the face of a rather salty Ganondorf, disgusted with his loss. "Now you know what the deal is...gimme back my wallet!" Link was playing in a game of table football to win his wallet back? Apparently it seemed like it, as Ganondorf grudgingly reached into his pocket and pulled out Link's wallet, handing it back to the Hylian.
"You may have won this time, Link...but the next time, I'm coming for your Master Hand, and there's no way you can win it back!" vowed Ganondorf as he angrily walked away in defeat. He then looked towards Rosalina, who was deep in conversation with her lady friends, motioning the mother of Lumas to come to him. Ganondorf would look inquisitively at Ganondorf, and then at Rosalina as she made her way to the demon lord, and stroked his chin thoughtfully.
"I do believe that the Ganondorf is a villain of sorts, is that correct?" Alm asked Itsuki; he would ask about Ganon's ethnicity, if he wasn't so unsure if Ganondorf was even a human species.
"Correctamundo - he's been a huge thorn in the side of Link, Zelda, and pretty much everyone living in Hyrule," explained Itsuki, as Rosalina followed Ganondorf to a far corner of the gaming room, making Itsuki raise an eyebrow. "Though he does tend to show a softer side, which is what I believe he's doing with Rosalina right now..."
"Itsuki, did you see my radical win over Ganondorf in table soccer, wasn't I great?!" Link asked Itsuki, shaking him like a maniac out of sheer glee. He then saw Alm, and gave him a bro hug for no reason other than excitement. "I've been on a tear as of late, and what a tear it has been!"
Link: Ever since I won that race last week, I've been going ham in every single competition I've been in ever since! *starts counting with his fingers* Buried R.O.B. in a game of Scrabble, beat Ike in an arm wrestling battle, and even smoked Knuckles in an air guitar contest! The list goes on and on, and it might go on forever! *smiles confidently* ...So what's this about Pit and his friends supposedly dismantling my truck?
"Nice seeing you being exuberant for once Link, not sure if we should feel concerned about your well-being..." remarked Itsuki, as Alm broke away from Link's bro hug turned bear hug. Alm continued to watch Ganondorf, watching the demon lord mingle with Rosalina and private, and couldn't help but wonder if Rosalina was evil by association with Ganondorf.
"Excuse me for a moment, I will be right back..." said Alm as he headed over to where Celica was, enjoying a great conversation with her lady friends. "Celica, may I speak with you for a quick minute? It won't be long, I promise you."
"I'll be right back, ladies," Celica would say to Zelda and company as she followed Alm to a far corner of the gaming room. "What is it, Alm, what's with the frown? Did someone tick you off or something? Wouldn't exactly be a great first impression if you ask me..."
"No Celica, nobody ticked me off...but I'm afraid that we have a evil king and queen running rampant in this mansion. Those fiends over there..." Alm pointed at Ganondorf and Rosalina, still hanging out with one another, and at the sight of Rosalina...Celica burst into laughter, concerning Celica.
"Rosalina, an evil queen? Just because she's best friends with Ganondorf doesn't mean that she's evil." Little did Celica know that Rosalina and Ganondorf were a lowkey item, although Master Hand would prevent the relationship from being anything but lowkey. "Ever heard of the phrase, 'opposites attract'? Already you're making random generalizations about the folks we'll be living with..."
"Rosalina is very much an evil queen, you'll see Celica..." So wearing a crown and an elegant dress and being with Ganondorf makes you evil? Maybe to Alm it does...
For what seemed like an eternity to him, the mighty King Koopa Bowser hasn't planned an elaborate prank on his fellow residents. It wasn't so much that he was refrained from pranking by Mario and Master Hand...it was just that he didn't have any great prank ideas to execute...until today.
Today's prank was a classic door prank - a prank where one steps inside a room through a door, only for something contained inside a bucket to fall on their head. Bowser asked one of King Dedede's Waddle Dees to fill a bucket with any item of his choosing, and placed said bucket of contents on the door to the vending room. The Koopa King would be inside the vending room, with Akuma and Fiora inside. Both the fighter and the Homs would have left already, but they had to remain in the room because of Bowser's prank.
"Just wanna let you know beforehand Bowser, you're gonna regret doing this prank!" Akuma warned the Koopa King, who was too busy laughing and rubbing his hands together, thinking of how legit his prank would be if executed correctly. "What if you prank the wrong person, and they become spiteful towards you forever?"
"That's the whole point of the prank, you bozo, to make them feel some type of way, that's what pranks are for!" Bowser snapped on Akuma, before promptly returning to rubbing his hands and smiling. "No matter who gets pranked, I'll always have the last laugh, while the victim's dignity reaches an all-time low!"
Bowser: I haven't pranked in what seems like a ridiculously long time, so if I'm going back to pranking, then I have to start off small, and work my way back up. That's exactly how life works: you start off small, as a baby, and then you work your way up until you can reach your peak. It's like an American Dream that can apply to anyone who's willing to put in the work! But me, I don't do work - work is for loser bums who wish to enslave themselves to the demands of society, so they can get the things they want in life! I already got the things I want, so work ain't even in my DNA! ENJOY YOUR CRAPPY JOBS, YOU STINKING LOSERS!
"To be fair, Bowser is one of the more disliked individuals in the mansion, so executing this prank properly honestly won't do much to hurt his reputation," Fiora stated to Akuma, recollecting the multiple times she and her boyfriend Shulk have been victimized at the hands of Bowser. Seemed like everyone in the mansion had been victimized by Bowser at this point, save for some of the newer additions to the establishment.
"How dare you say false facts about me, I'm the most beloved person there is!" frowned Bowser; no way he even believes that fallacy. "Heck, the high school students I paid their college tuition for love me! Peach loves me, that much I'm certain! And I bet there's so people who love me secretly, and are too afraid to tell me how truly awesome I am! You're so gonna be pranked next, Fiora, just you wait and see!"
"Ooh, a meaningless prank, I'm so scared..." Fiora rolled her eyes, as Bowser was now ready to execute his plan. If he wanted someone to fall for his prank, then he would have to entice that person to enter the vending room, and with an enticing offer...
"FREE CHEESY NACHOS INSIDE!" The Koopa King shouted out at the top of his lungs, expecting someone gullible enough to enter the vending room. Moments later, the unfortunate person would be none other than Lloyd, who Bowser kinda expected to fall for the prank.
"Aw yeah, free cheesy nachos, I'm down for that..." Lloyd said as he walked inside the vending room, and as he opened the door...a large rock fell upon the swordsman's head, as the bucket on top of the door fell with its contents falling upon poor Lloyd. Bowser and Akuma looked on in horror, and Fiora gasped as Lloyd was knocked out unconscious by the large rock and fell upon the floor, his body sprawled out.
"Bowser you ninny, you had a giant rock inside that bucket?!" scolded Akuma; he just knew Bowser would somehow screw this prank up. "Why not something like water, or some other liquid, who would use a rock for pranks like those?"
"This must be that Waddle Dee's fault, knew I shouldn't have borrowed King Dedede's servants..." Bowser said as he knelt down at the floor, checking to see if Lloyd was alive. The swordsman's pulse and heartbeat was still intact, but the same couldn't be said for his consciousness. "C'mon Lloyd, wake up, don't do this to me man, wake up, just this once, just for me..." No matter how hard he tried, Lloyd wouldn't respond to Bowser's commands and wake up, he was truly out of it. "Crap, I think I got Lloyd in a coma! Gotta take him to the fitness center right away before I get in trouble! Leia will know what to do with the kid!"
Back at the Hanzo Academy, one of Asuka's favorite things to eat would be a futomaki roll. It was a special kind of sushi roll, a vegetarian roll containing Tamago (a sweet Japanese omelette) and Gobo (pickled burdock root). Asuka had brought a recipe of this sushi roll to the mansion with her, and she was happily eating a futomaki roll right now in the foyer, until she was suddenly startled by a loud bombing sound outside. Hoping that there wasn't a terrorist lurking about (Snake would have handled a possible terrorist anyways), Asuka stepped outside to investigate, and saw Pit, Kirby, Fox, Falco, Donkey Kong, and Diddy Kong, all playing with nine youngins messing around with their bombs...these youngins were known as the Bombermen, and they were led by their man guy, White Bomberman. We'll call him White Bomber for short.
Fox: The Bomberman crew are truly a fun bunch to be around - Falco and I first met them at some fun park in Seattle. The vendors at the place refused to let the kiddies in because of their silly bombs, so Falco and I had to fight for their rights!
Falco: And we put up a good fight too - we had to tell the vendors that bombs are used for relatively good things, like blowing up old, useless buildings and dropping things down the toilet for relief (I think the latter one flew over the heads of the vendors). The vendors still were convinced, so we had to beat the snot out of them, and then just like that, the vendors let the Bomberman crew inside the fun park...while kicking us out for good.
Fox: I dunno, Falco, maybe we need to give those vendors another beatdown, make them change their mind and let us back in...
"Here's a big bomb, coming right up!" exclaimed White as she hurled a bomb at Donkey Kong, who punched the bomb to smithereens with his giant fist, causing a wicked explosion to occur. Diddy and the others were turning up, running about and shouting at the top of her lungs with excitement, like the dudes from "The Rap Battle Parody".
"Uh...what the heck is going on here?" questioned Asuka, a little concerned for her overall safety what with the bombs and all. "Who are these people, and why are they throwing bombs all willy nilly?" Asuka then asked about the Bombermen, whom she caught the attention of.
"Howdy friend!" White Bomber waved to Asuka, halting the unnecessary bomb hurling. "Don't believe we've met before, have we? I'm the White Bomberman, and these are my siblings - you got Black Bomberman, Red Bomber, Blue Bomber, Green Bomber, Yellow Bomber, Pink bomber, Aqua Bomber, and Pretty Bomber...though we don't talk about Pretty Bomber as much, I think she only exists just for the sake of promotion." Pretty Bomber held her head down in sadness after hearing this. "Nice meeting you...what's yer name?"
"My name is Asuka - and I have to say, you have a very beautiful family." Does Pretty Bomber count? The way White Bomber introduced her, it sounded like the female bomber was the least loved out of all the Bombermen.
"That's it? Asuka? No last name? Suit yourself..." Soon Ashley and Mamori stepped outside, having heard the bombing from inside the mansion. "Welp, looks like more introductions are in order...howdy friends!"
Far and away from the front of the mansion, Sonic was off running several errands for Master Hand, errands Isabelle would have done if she was super fast like the blue blur was. Once the hedgehog was done with the errands, he returned to the Smash Mansion, and upon arrival, he skidded to a halt and gasped in horror, as he saw White Bomber holding a bomb, his brothers and sisters (...and Pretty Bomber) standing behind him. The bomb looked like it was about to detonate at any minute, and Asuka and company were just standing about, not doing anything.
"Stand back, you guys, I got this!" Sonic would say this as he used a Spin Dash on White Bomber, knocking the robot to the ground before grabbing his bomb and throwing it up at the sky, where it would detonate. "No need to thank me guys, sometimes the most heroic acts go unrewarded, so I wouldn't mind at all if..." Sonic found himself trailing off when he noticed White Bomber's siblings, as well as the others, glaring him down. "What's the matter, you guys salty that I did something that none of you couldn't do? You're envious of my Spin Dash? I know that it's a huge trademark of mine, but still..."
"Sonic you ignorant slut, why'd you attack that man for, he wasn't doing any harm!" Fox scolded the hedgehog, as Sonic now felt bad about himself. "That was the White Bomber, and he was trying to show Asuka and her friends how effective his bombs were!"
"My robot bones are aching as I speak..." moaned White Bomber, who remained on the ground racked in pain. The Duck Hunt Dog saw the robot from afar, and would run over to said robot and pee on him, much to the chagrin of the White Bomber who was moaning even more.
Pretty Bomber: Fox and Falco are such nice guys...inviting us Bombermen to the mansion to hang out with their friends! But I do wish that the others would stop with their negative comments about me, especially White Bomber - he harbors a crush on me, Aqua Bomber told me all the details! The audacity for him to say that I only exist "just for the sake of promotion"...I don't exist for promotion, I exist to provide eye candy!...Nope, that's not any better...
"Oh junk, are you people supposed to be Bombermen?!" Sonic would ask the Bomberman group, feeling even worse than he did before for attacking the innocent White Bomber for what the hedgehog perceived was an attack on the Smash Mansion. "Sorry about taking out your leader..." Sonic suddenly took notice of the eight Bombermen standing before him, and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Say, since you guys have bombs...and there's nine of us, including me...and nine of my friends on the opposing side..."
"Sonic where are you getting at?" questioned Donkey Kong, knowing that involving involving both Sonic and explosives would turn out ugly. "Why are you siding with the Bombermen all of the sudden, after you taken the White Bomber out?"
"This stupid mutt won't stop licking me..." White Bomber complained, as the Duck Hunt Dog was now licking his head. The robot would rather take that or needless sniffing over another pee break from the dog.
"Not even gonna let me finish, aren't you Donkey Kong?" Sonic said, shaking his head at the gorilla. "What a jerk you are..." Like the hedgehog is the one to talk. "Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted...why not have a dodgeball game with BOMBS?"
"A dodgeball game with bombs sounds totally new and interesting, I'm down with that!" exclaimed Pit, perhaps the only person who would agree to play in such a dangerous game, along with Kirby of course. Everyone else was seemingly roped into a situation they couldn't get themselves out of.
"The man has spoken - we're gonna have the first ever game of 'Dodgebomb'! This is gonna be so exciting...stay right where you are, I'ma run inside and ask Dunban to set up the dodgeball net!" As Sonic sped off and ran inside the mansion, the others looked at one another, wondering what they were getting themselves into.
"Quick question: since we're technically playing a game of dodgeball, isn't Chuck Norris supposed to be around and be a judge or something?" Pit's question was enough to make several folks facepalm, or shake their heads at the angel's stupidity. Pit shall never cease to amaze, regardless of the effort.
"Still can't believe that Doc Louis somehow mistook Sazh Katzroy for being Richard Pryor," Cloud discussed with his main man Link, the two swordsmen chilling out in the comfort of their room. "I mean sure, Sazh has an afro, but Pryor didn't even have an afro to begin with...did he?"
"He might have had a giant afro when he was young, and there were no pictures online to document it," assumed Link, still feeling great about his win over Ganondorf, a win he might flaunt for the time being. "Pryor's tobacco smoking was kept a secret, wasn't it? Maybe the man had other secrets we don't know about, like a third eye concealed above his hairline!"
"Only weirdo nuts like yourself would believe in such nonsense..." Just when Cloud said this, Alm entered the room, a man on a mission.
Cloud: Who's Alm again?...Oh, the green-haired king from Valentia, who's married to that girl Celica. Yeah, he's a pretty nice dude, and his wife is beautiful beyond words...but I don't mean that in a way in which I'm insisting on stealing Celica from Alm, I'm not a Mr. Steal Your Girl type of guy. I'm the kind of guy that can take the ladies' breath away.
"Hello to you both, Cloud Strife and Link Triforce," Alm greeted the two swordsmen, formally bowing to each individual. The king believed that Link felt incomplete without a suitable last name, and so he gave him the perfect one.
"What's up Alm, how's it going," Cloud greeted the king, failing to notice his pet Chocobo Cloud Jr. flew inside the room through the open window. "How are you adjusting to your first full-fledged day living at the mansion? Better question is, what are you doing in our room?" Not that Cloud wanted Alm to go away - the ex-SOLDIER was just curious.
"I'm here to tell you some bad news, I'm afraid some evil is afoot...a mighty duo, consisting of an evil king and queen, wishing to take over the entire world, and rule it with an iron fist...and their names...are Ganondorf and Rosalina! They must be put away at once!" Link and Cloud looked at one another, both smirking and thinking the same thing. Alm couldn't be serious, could he?
"First of all, Ganondorf may be your prototypical villain, but he hardly commits any evil act at the mansion, aside from leaving the toilet seat up," Link had to set things straight for Alm. "And secondly, Rosalina may be in love with Ganondorf (and I don't know why...), but that doesn't make her a villain like Ganon."
"Aha, so you do admit that Ganondorf and Rosalina are an evil couple, one bent on destruction and terror! For that reason, I was hoping that you and Cloud would join forces with Celica and I, and stop this tyranny before it happens and the world has to suffer! So who's with me?" Link nor Cloud spoke up; they just let the ignorance soak up inside Alm before ether swordsman had the courage to speak up.
"Just let it go man, Ganondorf and Rosalina don't mean any harm to anyone, you shouldn't have to worry about them," Cloud advised Alm, but the king was still steadfast in the fact that Ganondorf and Rosalina both had secret evil intentions to take over the world, as a means for world domination.
"The mostly unaware shall fall away asleep, but the informed shall remain awake forever more..." stated Alm, making nifty quotes for no good reason. "Cloud Strife, Link Triforce...sadly you two are still asleep. But Celica and I, we shall stay awake and conquer our fears and anxieties! Good day to you both, gentlemen, I shall take care of this crisis with my woman, at whatever the cost!" On that note, Alm confidently left the room; once the king was gone, Link looked at Cloud and did a circling motion at the side of his head, worried that Alm might be a crazy loon on the loose.
"How is he doing Leia, is Lloyd gonna survive?" Bowser would ask the nurse assistant, as Leia diagnosed Lloyd in the fitness center. Talk about being overdramatic - Lloyd was doing just fine, Leia just needed to wake the swordsman up from his unconscious slumber.
"Of course Lloyd is going to survive, if you stop being such a worrywart, then maybe I can get Lloyd to wake up quicker..." Leia replied, holding two smelling salts to Lloyd's nose. After sniffing said salts, Lloyd suddenly woke up, as he lifted his eyes and rose up from the patient bed, sensing his surroundings. Was Lloyd back to his normal self, or did something change within the swordsman? One way to find out...
Leia: *shaking her head* Lloyd can be so infuriatingly stupid, it makes me wonder how he's been able to survive all these years with his profound amount of ignorance inside that noggin of his. I just wish that some fairy from somewhere would hit Lloyd on the head with their wand and grant him the wisdom that he so desperately needs...but we all know most fairies don't exist. Just like the Tooth Fairy - she was fabricated out of lies parents tell to their children to make them think that loosing teeth is a good thing.
"Lloyd, are you okay, did you lose any part of your memory?" Bowser quizzed the swordsman, to ensure that he was doing alright. "Do you still know my name? Say my name, just like that Destiny's Child, say my name!" Lloyd did just more than saying Bowser's name...
"Greetings, Bowser and Leia Rolando, how do you do?" the swordsman formally greeted the nurse and the Koopa King. "Did you two know that the average human body carries ten times more bacterial cells than human cells? Very fascinating, don't you think?" Bowser and Leia glanced at one another in shock - did Lloyd just say something intellectual and factual?! Maybe that coma from the falling rock resulted in the rewiring of Lloyd's brain.
"Would you mind giving us another fact Lloyd?" asked Leia, making sure that this wasn't a fluke and that Lloyd was actually intelligent now. The nurse was still in plain disbelief, and would have left her mouth agape if doing so wasn't considered rude.
"How about this: did you know that a single solar flare can release the equivalent energy of millions of 100-megaton atomic bombs? That's quite the impact!" Bowser clearly agreed with this statement, as he wrote down Lloyd's factoid on a notepad, under a list called "Inventive/Creative Ways to Destroy Stuff and Rule the World". Getting solar flares from the sun to the earth would be nigh difficult for the Koopa King.
"Lloyd is incredibly smart now, and it's all because of me and the prank I pulled!" exclaimed Bowser, taking all the credit for something that he did not intend to happen by any means. "I must show Lloyd's intelligence to Master Hand, Lloyd will take his breath away!" So Bowser grabbed Lloyd's hand, and ran out of the fitness center, only to be stopped by King Dedede upon exiting. The king of Dream Land was looking remorseful, like he had a lot to get off his chest.
"Bowser I'm so sorry that my Waddle Dee had to be a stupid idiot and insert some giant rock inside that bucket for the basis of your prank..." King Dedede apologized to the Koopa King, feeling more sorry than he truly should. "I punished that fool by putting him in the same room with a Mightyena AND a Lycaroc, to teach him a lesson!" Sounds a bit harsh for a harmless Waddle Dee creature, don't you think? "Don't know if that was enough to make it up to you..."
"No Dedede, it's all good, the giant rock was actually a blessing in disguise! When the rock fell upon Lloyd's head, it screwed up the kid's brain...but in a good way, it made him smarter! After Lloyd woke up from his sustained coma, he instantly started spewing facts, it was incredible!"
"Speaking of incredible, how about an incredible fact...you can burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV!" stated Lloyd, causing King Dedede's jaw to drop to the floor. The fat penguin expected a Waddle Dee to come by and pinch him, for Lloyd speaking true facts was but a weird dream to him.
"Did Lloyd just say something factual?!" Master Hand appeared, in as much shock as King Dedede was. The giant hand playing with Lloyd would be meaningless now. "This has to be a dream, or at least a nightmare! It has to be a nightmare, how will I ever make Lloyd look more stupider than he is already?" Oh the irony...
Master Hand: Pfft. I didn't say anything ironic earlier today. I'm freaking Master Hand, I'm immune to irony, and a plethora of other things. Rain. Snow. Hail. Freezing temperatures. Gunfire. Dial-up Internet sounds. Justin Bieber's old music. However, I'm immune to only two things - adorable cat videos and half-Asian chicks. You'd be hard-pressed to meet any half-Asian chick that wasn't pretty.
"'More stupider' is not the best way to word your thoughts, Master Hand," said Lloyd, taking the giant hand to school. "You should have said 'how will I ever make Lloyd look dumber than he is already' instead. But we all know that would be impossible with my amount of intelligence!"
"Shut up you little twerp..." retorted Master Hand, before taking a brief pause to realize the things he could do with a smarter Lloyd. There were so many possibilities running through the giant hand's mind, which would signify proof that maybe Master Hand does have a mind. "Lloyd, we cannot let your intellect go to waste, we must show it off for the world to see! Bowser, Lloyd, come with me, we have horizons to reach, together!"
So Master Hand would lead Bowser and Lloyd down the hallway...only to be stopped in his tracks by Mario and Mewtwo, with Mario holding a homemade statue Mewtwo had made by himself. The psychic Pokemon was thirsty for a lieutenant role in the Pokemon Army, and was prepared to go through whatever means necessary to prove his worth to Master Hand.
"Master Hand, I made a statue out of your likeness, better than the one in front of the mansion!" Mewtwo showed off his statue to Master Hand, who was not at all impressed. Had the giant statue of him outside not exist, maybe he would have been intrigued.
"Look Mewtwo, I get it, I get what you're trying to do - you're sucking up to me as much as possible enough to the point where I would be open to giving you a lieutenant role in the Pokemon Army, I get it," said Master Hand, dismaying poor Mewtwo. "Try as hard as you might, and keep on dragging Mario in the mud, although I would do the same thing too, but you'll never get the lieutenant role if you keep this crap up. Now if you excuse me, Bowser and I must make money...erm, publicity out of Lloyd's newfound intelligence, and we shall do so by entering the young lad in a World's Smartest Person Contest! If there isn't such a contest already, then I'll bribe the folks of Seattle into creating a contest!"
"A smartest person contest would be an exquisite way to display my profound intelligence," said Lloyd, catching Mario and Mewtwo off-guard by using a vocabulary word he would have never learned before. "Chew on this...the 8GB iPod can hold up to 2,000 songs, up to 7,000 photos, up to 8 hours of video! All of that, stored up in just one small device!" Now Mario and Mewtwo were really stunned, what with Mewtwo shaking his head in disbelief and Mario fainting to the floor. Clearly they were dreaming just like King Dedede and Master Hand, somebody oughta pinch those two.
"Quit it out Lloyd, save your little facts for the contest, saying them out loud will be worth it there! I'll be seeing you later Mewtwo, and I sincerely hope that you cut it out with your butt-kissing! Butt-kissing is never good, unless you're the WWE if you know what I mean!"
On that remark, Master Hand led Bowser and Lloyd away, leaving a dumbstruck Mewtwo and a still fainted Mario be. It was in this very moment that Mewtwo conjured an idea...an idea that would led to Master Hand appointing the psychic Pokemon to a lieutenant job in the Pokemon Army, without any questioning.
"Well Mewtwo, I think-a it's all over, nothing else we can-a do would persuade-a Master Hand..." said Mario, as he woke up and got off of the floor, recovering from his fainting like nothing ever happened. "We might as well-a call it quits..." But Mewtwo wasn't ready to throw in the towel just yet, for his idea might very well work.
"If I want to prove to Master Hand that I'm worthy to be a lieutenant, then I must do so by showing my intelligence and psychic powers!" exclaimed Master Hand, foreshadowing something Mario was mostly against. "And the only way I can do that...is by entering that World's Smartest Person contest!" Oh how much Mario wanted to object Mewtwo's idea. "Where do we sign up?"
Mewtwo: I do believe I have a good chance at winning this World's Smartest Person Contest...provided that they allow talking Pokemon like myself to be participants. Lloyd's newfound high intelligence may be only temporary, as I expect his intelligence to fade away given that he had suffered any form of brain damage. Worst case scenario is that someone cheats to win the contest, but I seriously doubt there'll be any cheating going on when a psychic Pokemon like myself is around.
After Dunban set everything up, it was time for the first ever game of Dodgebomb to begin. On one side of the dodgeball field was the team of Sonic and the Bomberman crew (sans White Bomber, who was still injured and has been relegated to a cheerleader), and on the other side was the team of Fox, Falco, Pit, Kirby, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Ashley, Mamori, and Asuka. Dunban was standing at the front to call the match.
"The rules for this Dodgebomb game are the same as a regular dodgeball game, but with a twist," stated Dunban, about to give out some rules for the players to (hopefully) abide by. "To eliminate someone, you simply grab one of the bombs lined up at the central line, and throw them at your opponent. If the bomb explodes in the opponent's face or whatever, then they are eliminated. If an opponent throws a bomb at you and you catch it before it detonates, then that opponent is eliminated. Unfortunately if you get hurt, then tough luck, since Master Hand is too frugal to afford us another healthcare plan. With that out of the way, is everyone ready to begin?"
"Pichu Pichu Pichu!" exclaimed Pichu, who was one of the cheerleaders on the sidelines, cheering on with Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and White Bomber, the robot having been reduced to being in a wheelchair.
"Jiggly Jigglypuff!" exclaimed Jigglypuff, shaking her pom-poms. White Bomber just pumped his fist, waving a white flag with a bomb on it.
"Alright then, let's get this show on the road! Begin!" shouted Dunban, starting off the Dodgebomb game. Diddy Kong, Mamori, Kirby, Aqua Bomber, Black Bomberman, and Green Bomber each grabbed a bomb at the central line, and were squaring down their opponents. Green would throw his bomb at Ashley, and the young witch's teammates would move out of the way as the bomb exploded, leaving the witch covered in soot.
"Meh, I expected to be eliminated first anyways," a now eliminated Ashley shrugged as she walked off the field. Moments later, Diddy Kong would hurl his bomb at Black Bomberman...who caught the bomb with one hand. Dude must have hands like glue.
"Get off the field, monkey fiend!" Black taunted Diddy Kong, who walked off the field to join Ashley with his levels of salt raising. Black would proudly laugh in Diddy's face, only for a bomb to be thrown at him and explode, with Falco doing the honors. "...I'm the first to be eliminated?! How can this be?!"
"Nice way to keep your guard down!" Falco called out to Black, who grudgingly walked off the field. Red Bomber grabbed one of the bombs lined up at the central line and threw it at Falco, who caught the bomb and held the fuse before the bomb could detonate, eliminating Red Bomber in the process.
Dunban: I shouldn't even be officiating such a violent game of "Dodgebomb", there's a high risk of participants suffering injuries from the bombs, and I'm afraid that Master Hand would refuse to cover for their health benefits. Also, what if something happens, and one of the bombs gets carried away by the wind, and gets carried to the mansion and explodes upon impact? What if the bomb left behind a huge hole in the mansion? It can get pretty rainy in Seattle, and we wouldn't want the mansion to be flooded...though Greninja would find it convenient.
"C'mon, Red Bomber, I thought you were better than that, way to let your team down!" Sonic scolded the Red Bomber, as he was chilling in the back, nonchalantly eating some chili dogs. The hedgehog's teammates looked at him, even including the two that were eliminated.
"Sonic why aren't you participating in this Dodgebomb game, the very game you created?!" Pretty Bomber frowned at Sonic, only for a bomb to be thrown at her by Donkey Kong. The bomb would explode, as Pretty's entire back was covered in soot.
"Now look what you've done, you got yourself eliminated, shame on you Pretty Bomber, shame, shame, SHAME! Go join the other two losers, Black Bomberman and Red Bomber!" Pretty would do just that, glaring down Sonic as she joined her eliminated teammates. Sonic may be very competitive at times (key words: at times), but there's no denying that he can be a terrible teammate.
"Just a bit over to the right...no, to the left...a bit more to the right...perfect!" Ganondorf was instructing Roy and Ike, who were holding yet another painting of Ganondorf to hang on the wall. "Move the painting up a little bit, and...there we go!" Ganondorf gave a thumbs up, with Roy and Ike still holding the painting of the Demon Lord. Just how many paintings does the dude even have?! "You boys stay right here, I'll get Mr. Game and Watch to hang the painting up." Ganondorf would walk away, in search of Mr. Game and Watch so that the 2-D man could hang up the painting and remind everyone in the mansion how huge Ganondorf's ego was.
"This picture frame is too heavy, don't think I can hold it much longer..." whined Roy, who was apparently struggling to hold up the Ganondorf painting. You'd think that a strong swordsman like him would find holding a painting to be effortless.
"Bro you have muscles, you shouldn't even be complaining," stated Ike, not struggling in the slightest. "Also, you're holding the frame with just one hand."
"You're holding the frame with one hand too, and you're making it look easy..." Maybe those muscles of Roy's are fake; Corrin did say that the red-haired swordsman could have taken a few steroids.
Midna: Being inside of Link's body has gotten boring over the past weeks...not that many adventure and just little excitement. And hearing that dumb Hylian boast ever since he won that dumb race is enough to make me pull my hair out! So I kinda escaped while Link and his friend were asleep, and went to go do some sight-seeing...which is what I'm doing right now. But there's hardly any sights for me to see, save for a Waddle Dee walking about. Where does that King Dedede keep those things anyways?
Midna would continue her sight-seeing - feeling more bored by the second - as she flew throughout the mansion hallways, looking for anything interesting that wasn't one of King Dedede's lackeys. The imp would suddenly find Ganondorf, a slight arch-nemesis of hers, speaking with Mr. Game and Watch. The 2-D man was busy vacuuming the floor when Ganondorf approached him.
"Of course I'll hang up that painting of yours Ganon, free as charged!" Mr. Game and Watch told the demon lord. "Just let me finish cleaning this floor, and then I'll find the stuff I need to hang up the painting." Does Mr. GW not realize that he could possibly be feeding Ganondorf's ego?
"Much appreciated, Mr. Game and Watch - just take all the time you need," Ganondorf would say to the 2-D man before walking away. Midna would follow closely behind Ganondorf, cautiously spying on the demon lord, until Ganondorf ran into Alm, who was glaring down the Gerudo. "Hello Alm, strange seeing you by yourself without your wife...why are you glaring at me like that?"
"I know what you and Rosalina are plotting...you are plotting to take over the world!" Alm accusingly pointed at Ganondorf...who just chuckled at the king's ignorance. Midna sighed, feeling somewhat bad for Alm, unsure if he was birdbrained or stupid.
"You fool, Rosalina and I aren't plotting world domination, we're practically harmless! Have you been smoking crack lately? Where on earth did you possibly get this assumption that I would plot to take over the world with Rosalina? Rosalina doesn't look like the type of woman that would be interested in world domination!"
"What's this about me and world domination?" asked Rosalina, who approached Ganondorf and Alm from behind, accompanied by Luma. Midna found herself smiling, seeing this encounter become even more intriguing.
"This fool Alm thinks the two of us are plotting to take over the world!" Ganondorf told his woman, heartily laughing and making Alm frown even harder. The king's race was turning red, redder than a tomato. "Can you believe this guy? And he calls himself a king...he's a very ignorant king, I'll give him that!"
"Oh yeah, well how about Celica and I stop you from starting your world domination plans?! You and Rosalina, vs me and Celica, in this mansion! And if we win, then you must agree to put away your evil desires, and put away your world domination ambitions! Do we have a deal?"
"I think we should agree with his terms, just to prove to Alm that it's all a big misunderstanding," Rosalina whispered in Ganondorf's ear, and the demon lord nodded. Once this fight was over, Alm will (hopefully) leave Ganondorf and Rosalina alone.
"You got yourself a deal bub - but you have to agree to my terms!" Ganondorf said as he shook hands with Alm. "We shall conduct our fight in the Pokemon sanctuary, it's the only place suitable for our bout. You and your wife are going down, that much I can guarantee you!" Midna excitedly rubbed her hands together, wanting to see this fight go down.
Rosalina: I feel so bad for Celica...she probably has been discouraged by Alm's claims about me and Ganondorf, and now she has been roped into a fight that she did not agree to. If I have to fight her, and Ganondorf fights with Alm, then I'll just let Celica off easy...
Luma: Yeah that's right mama, don't rough her up too bad!
Celicia:...are you telling me that Alm challenged Ganondorf and Rosalina to a fight...and I have to fight alongside with him? *facepalms* I just knew this thing would snowball out of hand, should have stopped it when I had the chance...
Midna: Finally, something remotely interesting is about to go down at the mansion! It will arguably be hilarious seeing this Alm person not only bow down to Ganondorf, but also learn that Ganondorf is not interested in world domination, and has become too relaxed to even think about such a thing. The look on his face will be PRICELESS!
Much to the chagrin of Master Hand, there was no "World's Smartest Person" contest going on in Seattle. So what did the giant hand do to solve the problem? Force some Seattle officials into starting up such a contest, of course! The contest was held in Seattle's Paramount Theatre, and was set up like the game show Family Feud, only without the digital game board, the tables that the contestants stand at, and Steve Harvey. In the center was a podium, where Lloyd and another person would stand at. The contest worked like this: Master Hand would select a random person from the crowd of spectators to go onstage to challenge Lloyd, and Bowser would ask five questions, in rapid succession. If you beat Lloyd to the punch and answer all five questions correctly, you would win one million dollars - a prize Bowser obtained from asking a local Seattle millionaire. But if Lloyd answers all the questions correctly, then you're eliminated...and you also had to give all the money you have to Lloyd.
"On average, how deep is the ocean?" Bowser asked Lloyd and a random contestant; the contestant tried to hit the button so Bowser could call upon him, but Lloyd was far quicker. "Lloyd Irving, what is your answer?"
"The ocean is 12,080.7 feet deep - which is equivalent to 3,682.2 meters," the swordsman proudly answered, like he knew the answer right from the get-go. Given Lloyd's profound intelligence, there was no way he could lose to anyone.
"That answer is..." Bowser glanced at his cue card. "...correct! Great job Lloyd, you answered the fifth consecutive question correctly! Sorry about your loss Brad, there's always next time!" The contestant named Brad sighed as he handed Lloyd all the money in his wallet and walked offstage, accepting his loss. Lloyd was becoming richer by the minute.
"Since I've been picking out random people so far, I shall issue an open challenge," Master Hand said to the crowd. Deep down he knew whoever dared to challenge Lloyd will be humiliated by the swordsman's intellect. "Who here thinks they're worthy enough to challenge the mighty Lloyd Irving?"
"I would like to challenge Lloyd Irving, good sir!" a brave person raised their hand; it was a cat-like creature with a flannel shirt, glasses, eyebrows, a mustache, and a nose like Groucho Marx, and also had a rather long tail. "My name is Mitch, and I wish to go up against Lloyd, in a fight of ultimate intellect!"
"People like you make me laugh...but I'll save the laughing till after your loss. Come right on up, if you dare!" So Mitch headed onto the stage, and joined Lloyd at the podium, facing the swordsman face-to-face.
"Welcome, Mitch, I can't tell you that you're gonna do well against Lloyd, but I suppose you can give it your best shot," Bowser told the mustached creature. Mitch reminded the Koopa King of someone he saw at the mansion, a person the koopa would see daily. "Now let's begin! First question: how many bones does an adult human skeleton have?" Lloyd was about to press his button...but Mitch was the first to press his.
"The human skeleton has 206 bones total," answered Mitch, causing the audience to gasp. It was the first time someone other than Lloyd answered a question right.
"Nice one, Mitch! Next question: what disorder makes people struggle to recognize faces?"
"Prosopagnosia," Mitch answered yet again after pressing the button. Lloyd was now sweating, and Master Hand and Bowser were getting nervous...
"Wow Mitch, you're on a roll! Third question: how many eyes does a..."
"A scallop has 100 eyes."
"Didn't even finish but...fourth question..."
"Mamenchisaurus hochuanensis."
"Woah Mitch, chill out, at least let me..."
"...Leeroy Jenkins." Mitch answered the last question as he folded his arms. A distraught Bowser threw his cue cards down, while Lloyd looked to the side in disbelief.
Master Hand: It's gonna be flat-out silly seeing Lloyd flaunt his intelligence for the crowd, he's gonna put on a mental clinic for everyone to see! At the end of the day, Lloyd will be leaving the entire crowd SPEECHLESS!
Mitch left the entire crowd SPEECHLESS, not a single person knew what to say. The creature beat Lloyd fair and square, and he left the swordsman shook as ever.
"Um, uh, congratulations Mitch, somehow you won the grand prize!" Bowser commended Mitch, hoping Lloyd would win so he could keep the money himself. "The million dollars is yours, buddy!"
"Oh, I'm not here for the million bucks..." stated Mitch, as he took off not only his flannel shirt, but his glasses...which were connected to his nose and mustache. In that very moment, Mitch revealed himself to be one person, or Pokemon...Mewtwo. The audience gasped; apparently none of them expected Mewtwo to be masquerading as a guy named Mitch. "I'm here to earn the title of Pokemon Army Lieutenant!"
"So this 'World's Smartest Person' Contest was a contest to determine who would be a lieutenant in this so-called Pokemon Army?" someone from the crowd spoke up. There were now murmurings among the audience, wondering if they had learned the true intentions of the contest.
"SILENCE YOU FOOLS!" Master Hand shouted at the crowd, silencing everyone before turning his attention to Mewtwo. "Mewtwo, I thought I told you not to be here, why must you sabotage my contest?! Why did you do it man?!"
"First off, you never told me to be at this contest," stated Mewtwo, looking up at Master Hand with an intent glare. He really wanted that lieutenant role. "And secondly, I did not sabotage your contest, I won it fair and square. Now, about that lieutenant role..."
"I don't think this is the correct venue to discuss the matter...once we clean things up around here, how about you meet in my room and we'll discuss everything."
The Dodgebomb game was almost over, as there were now two competitors left - Asuka and Sonic. The ninja girl and the hedgehog were the only ones left standing, and they were vying to accrue victory for their respective team.
"Don't let us down Sonic - even though you slacked off during the entire game until you were the last person remaining on our team, I know you got this!" Green Bomber called out to the hedgehog, who was staring down his opponent, Asuka. No way Sonic could lose, especially considering that he hardly participated at all.
"If you want our team to win, then you gotta put the team on your back, and will yourself to victory!" added Pink Bomber, which got Sonic thinking. The hedgehog hardly participated with his teammates, and it was time for him to make it up to them...
...and so he did what Pink told him to do - he put the team on his back.
"Sonic, when I said to 'put the team on your back', this is NOT what I meant," Pink said to Sonic, as she and the entire Bomberman crew (White Bomber included) were literally on Sonic's back, with one Bomberman piled on top of another. Sonic couldn't (and shouldn't) be able to throw a bomb now, but there was no stopping him...
Sonic: Since my teammates are off killing the opposition, and I'm on my last chili dog, I just wanted to pull a Joe Namath and guarantee a victory for my team, the great Dodgebomb team in existence! Granted, we're one of the first two teams to ever play this new sport I invented, but lemme tell ya, we're on the cusp of greatness!
"I owe you guys one, I've been a sucky teammate this whole time and so I gotta make it up to ya!" Sonic said, as he confidently grabbed the bomb lined up at the central line, and squared down Asuka, who had a bomb herself. "This one is for all the marbles, this one is for victory!" Sonic would throw the bomb, throwing it with all his might and power, as the bomb elegantly sailed...
...and landed at Asuka's feet. Asuka just looked at the bomb and picked it up, before holding the fuse to prevent the bomb from exploding. To say Sonic was disappointed with his throw would be an understatement.
"Does this...technically count as an elimination?" Asuka asked Dunban, who was shocked by how crappy that throw from Sonic was. The stuff of legends. "I mean, I prevented the bomb from exploding..."
"I guess...I guess it does!" exclaimed Dunban, once his moment of shock ended. "Team Asuka accrues victory!" The aptly named Team Asuka cheered on for Asuka, along with the three Pokemon cheerleaders as they lifted the ninja girl on their shoulders and celebrated with her. Ashley, the ever anti-social one, refused to participate in such an activity.
"Let's go Asuka, Asuka's number one!" Diddy Kong cheered on for the ninja girl, as a frustrated Sonic threw the Bomberman crew off his back and unto the ground. Why was he taking his anger out on the robots, they weren't responsible for his egregious throw!
"Man, you guys are the worst, no word can begin to describe how terrible you guys are!" a now salty Sonic snapped on his teammates, before storming off to the mansion. "Good day to you, you stinking losers!" The Bomberman crew just looked at one another, wondering what Sonic was so upset about.
Two couples were gathered in the Pokemon sanctuary - Alm and Celica, and Ganondorf and Rosalina. The latter couple was accused by Alm to be evildoers, an evil king-queen duo who had their eyes set on world domination, and Alm wished to put an end to their plans, along with the help of Celica who wanted nothing to do with this fight. Midna was watching from afar, wanting to see who would be the victor.
"Just like we planned, Celica - I fight with Ganondorf, you fight with Rosalina and Luma," Alm went over the plan with Celica, who was reluctant to fight anyone. She wanted to spend her first day living at the mansion in peace, not getting into a fight. "Do you understand?"
"But Alm, I don't think it would be worth it..." Celica tried to tell Alm, but the king refused to listen - he really wanted to kick Ganondorf's butt. Literally, too.
"Excellent, now let's do this!" Alm unsheathed his sword, and Ganondorf would unsheathe his, and so the king and the demon lord would duel it out, Alm's blade clashing with Ganondorf's Sword of Sages. Celica would awkwardly approach Rosalina, unsure of what to do.
Rosalina: No, I've never been interesting in taking over a world...but I wouldn't mind taking over an entire galaxy. World domination just sounds so boring - once you're done taking over the world, what's next on your agenda? That's way galaxy domination is far more superior, when you're done taking over one planet, you can just go ahead and create another planet to dominate! Only problem though would be finding hungry Lumas...and finding star bits to feed said Lumas.
"Celica, I understand if you don't want to fight, and that's fine by me, I don't want to fight either," Rosalina said to Celica, who was slowly tearing up. "But a fight your husband wants, a fight your husband...shall get?"
"Look mama, Celica's sobbing!" observed Lumas, as they were tears flowing down from Celica's eyes. The queen's face was in her face as she sobbed away. "Does this mean that the fight is over?" Alm and Ganondorf both heard Celica's loud sobbing, and stopped their sword fight and looked over at the saddened queen.
"If anyone asks, you were responsible for this..." Alm said to Ganondorf as he headed over to Celica, while Midna looked on to see what the issue was. "Celicia, what's wrong, why are you sobbing?"
"I don't wish to fight another resident of this mansion..." sobbed Celica, wiping away her tears. "...I just want to live with them, and get to know them better, and maybe make some new friends and acquaintances...is this not what you wanted?" Alm did say the things in his first-ever talking head segment, and the king was feeling guilty, since instead of making friends and learning about others, he accused two residents of wrongdoing and challenged them to a fight.
"Celicia, I'm very, truly sorry I put you through this trouble, this is all my fault...I judged a book by its cover and accused Ganondorf for things he never did, like world domination..." To be fair, Ganondorf did attempt world domination, with Zant. Alm, who was on one knee, got up, and looked at Ganondorf and Rosalina. "Ganondorf, Rosalina, I'm deeply sorry for the false accusations against you two - I can be stubborn at times, and I suspect my stubbornness to be the reason for this debacle taking place. Will you two accept my apology?" Ganondorf and Rosalina both glanced at one another, and Ganondorf would extend his hand to Alm...expecting his hand to be shaken by the king.
"Your word is as good as mine - consider your apology accepted," said Ganondorf, and Alm would proudly shake the demon lord's hand, putting their beef behind them for good. Midna, wanting to see some bloodshed, sighed as she vanished away, returning to the boring prison that was Link's body.
In Master Hand's room, where Sonic was seated next to the entrance on the floor with his arms folded and feeling salty, Master Hand was speaking with Mario and Mewtwo, debating whether or not he should give Mewtwo a lieutenant role in the Pokemon Army.
"Master Hand, Mewtwo has-a been persistent about this-a lieutenant role throughout the day, you have-a to give him the job or else!" Mario pleaded to Master Hand, who refused to budge. If Alm thought he was stubborn, wait until he gets a load of Master Hand.
"Why should I make him the lieutenant?" questioned Master Hand, before looking at Mewtwo, who was glaring down the giant hand, enough to make him slightly shiver. Mewtwo's glare...an unspoken third vulnerability of the giant hand. "Fine, Mewtwo, I'll make you the lieutenant of the Pokemon Army, just leave me alone! You're nearly reaching stalker levels, you know..."
"Thank you for naming me the lieutenant, Master Hand," thanked Mewtwo, satisfied that his work is now done. "I'll be ready to go when the time comes. Until then, I shall remained prepared for anything that comes our way."
And on that note, Mewtwo teleported away from the room, leaving behind Mario and Master Hand, as well as Sonic who was still at the doorway sulking. Little did Mario and Master Hand know about an old man in a robe standing at Master Hand's window, peering through...it was none other than Master Xehanort.
The two also failed to see an evil, sadistic grin forming on Master Xehanort's face...might be devising some evil ideas for his Heartless invasion in that evil head of his.