Kei was running with all her might... however she ended up snapping one of her sandals and tripped, falling to the ground, crying.
Why was she crying? Was it because Hachiman was being nosy? Or perhaps because her feet hurt that much?
Maybe not...
Maybe Kei was simply running away from the painful truth that Hachiman said without any care.
That's right.
Though he was generally not nosy, Hachiman wasn't the type to mince words at all. When he said something that was on his mind, he didn't want people to misunderstand or making a false assumption.
Hachiman hadn't meant anything malicious by saying it. As a matter of fact, perhaps he even said it because he was concerned about the Shirogane siblings.
"I should go back... they're probably worried."
Kei flinched and noticed a minor bruise around her foot, though she was sure it would still be fine to walk as there was no dislocation, it was still bothersome!
"Ugh, good job for ruining your own impression in front of Hachi-nii." Kei chastised herself, and to think Hachiman had had a very high opinion on her before...
Kei grimaced when she heard a small growl not too far away from her. She was expecting some neighbor's dog but... that wasn't exactly the case.
It was a dog, but one she absolutely did not recognize.
Kei forced herself to focus, not only to subdue her own fear but also to assess the animal's state of emotion. Tail up, teeth bare and head ... it was aggressive and angry. No collar, probably feral. Mouth clean, no foaming... no late-stage rabies...
Look away and back away slowly, don't scream or make loud noises...
Kei almost got a heart attack when she felt herself stopped by someone, especially when that 'someone' put a hand over her mouth.
"Calm down, Kei." He gently whispered. It was a familiar voice, so Kei wasn't too worried, but it still made her heart jump.
And the person let her go and stepped forward with a telescoping baton on hand, with electricity crackling around it.
It was Hachiman.
Realizing the existence of a bigger threat than an injured young girl, the dog whimpered and left quickly. Hachiman turned it off and then retracted the baton by pushing it into his left palm.
"Hachi-nii..." Kei asked in terror, "What's that?"
"It's a prototype telescoping stun baton." Hachiman said as he put it into his pocket, "For self-defense."
Generally, a telescoping baton and a stun baton are entirely separate devices, one is made of a heavy-duty hollow frame that can be extended and retracted like old radio antennae, while a stun baton is a short club with an electroshock mechanism similar to a taser. The one in Hachiman's possession combined the function of stun baton into a telescoping baton shape.
Feeling all her strength drained, Kei almost fell again but Hachiman grabbed her. "You hurt your foot."
"Ah, uh, it's fine, but my sandal..."
"Sorry, get on my back then."
"Wha?!"
"Can't have you hurt your feet worse." Hachiman kneeled down, "Come on, I don't want to fuck up twice in a day."
And so Kei hesitantly hugged him from behind, it was a good old piggyback! Truthfully, deep inside Kei, she felt somewhat happy with the proximity.
"So... sorry about that, Hachi-nii." Kei said, "I should have listened."
"No, it's all my fault." Hachiman told her, "I've said too much."
"But I'm being childish!"
"You're thirteen. You have every right to be childish." Hachiman laughed, "As a matter of fact, you're too mature and responsible for someone of your own age, it's rather unfair for me to treat you like that."
But Kei couldn't bring herself to say she wanted him to see her as equal, because, if she did, then her feelings would be exposed, and their relationship would never be the same again.
Hachiman treated her nicely, like his own little sister, and to be honest, Kei didn't dislike that. She just wished that there was something more...
"...Hachi-nii, do you hate your parents that much?"
"Hate is a strong word." Hachiman said, "But perhaps I resent them enough, for caring a lot more about their jobs than me or Komachi, that at some point I stopped caring whether they were with me or not."
Kei did remember that Hachiman didn't even have photos of his parents, just Komachi, in his apartment. As a matter of fact, didn't Hachiman basically pay his own rent now?
"But I guess not everyone is that apathetic about their family member." Hachiman said, "Sometimes I envy you and Miyuki for having such an attentive and caring dad."
"I..." Kei mumbled, "Hachi-nii, about my mother... Do you know about her?"
"No. I never asked."
Indeed, Hachiman always knew that the Shirogane family had no mother figure, however, Hachiman never bothered to ask purely out of courtesy. Still, the lack of an altar in their home meant that she wasn't dead, that much Hachiman knew very well.
"She left us... or rather, she left the house with me in tow. At some point though, I came back even knowing poverty was waiting. Because I'd rather be with someone who cares about me, it didn't matter if we had to financially suffer."
"I see..." Hachiman smiled sadly, "So Miyuki wasn't chosen."
That explains why Miyuki always tried so hard on his own, the scar left by his mother leaving him... just how deep was it really?
Hachiman wondered, if he had been affectionate to his parents and then left behind how much would that have hurt? Shirogane Miyuki... he was truly strong.
Hachiman felt like he took his parent's existence for granted in comparison. Neglectful as they could be, at least they were still there with him.
Especially Hachiman's mother.
He might owe that realization to Miyuki.
...
"Hachiman wasn't chosen either." Miyuki laughed in mirth, his conversation completely mirrored that of his best friend's own, "I guess that's something an older brother must experience."
"I don't think so." Komachi shook her head, "It's something that an older brother with little sister must suffer instead."
Because the fact of the matter is that most families overlook the little brother in favor of older brother more.
"Father became very proud of Onii-chan when it was announced that he managed to enter the Shuchiin scholarship program." Komachi said, "And he boasted about it pretty much to everyone."
"But rather than happy now that father become more attentive to him, Onii-chan grew increasingly irate and well... at some point, Onii-chan basically told him off in public. I think they were a hair away from punching each other too."
Miyuki winced in response. It takes a special case for Hachiman to resort to real violence, rather than comedic slapping. It must have been a really bad case of familial spat...
"They haven't reconciled even now, months after the fact, because they're both too stubborn to apologize, even when they're on talking terms," Komachi muttered, for whatever reason, she looked especially frightening and uncanny now.
"I guess that applies to both of us, we just stopped caring about whether our parents are at home or not. But when Onii-chan left Chiba, I cried so hard that my eyes were swollen for days."
So even someone as angelic as Komachi could have such a dark side to her. Perhaps that was why Komachi had always been so mature and independent, even more than his own little sister in fact.
For Komachi, her parents were there to provide monetary support and nothing else. And now that Hachiman had started working...
Miyuki hugged the shivering younger girl, knowing very well that she was on the verge of crying too. Being separated from Hachiman, the only family member she truly cared about, must have been painful...
"It's okay, Komachi." Miyuki stroked her head, "Hachiman isn't going anywhere. We're not going anywhere either."
There was a silver lining in all of this, and Shirogane Miyuki realized it. That more than anything else in the world, the love that he, Kei, and their father shared was an irreplaceable treasure.
He would have to thank Hachiman later.
Hachiman returned with Kei on his back, which made both Miyuki and Komachi worried.
"She tripped and snapped her sandal," Hachiman told them.
"I'm fine really!" Kei flailed, before hurriedly rushing inside to wash her feet and put some ointment on the bruise.
"Kei got hurt, so punch me," Hachiman said it as if it didn't matter.
Miyuki shrugged, "I made Komachi-chan cry, so we're even."
Hachiman smiled.
Shortly before they punched each other in the face!
This horrified Komachi and, Kei when she came back out after hearing the noise.
"As if, you dipshit! Why did you make Komachi cry, huh?!" Hachiman barked and yanked Miyuki's collar.
Miyuki poked Hachiman's temple with his index finger hard, "Yeah, it was your fault too, dickwad!"
And instead of beating the shit out of each other as youthful high school boys would, they basically flailed and slapped each other hesitantly, hurting each other more by tossing, shoving, and wrestling around on the ground, showing the fact that both of them were, in the end, a pair of wimpy cowards that had never once gotten into a fistfight with other boys of their age.
With their level of athletic abilities, or at least Hachiman's level, that was simply shameful!
Kei and Komachi couldn't bear to watch the embarrassment and closed their eyes.
In the end, both of them were dirty, roughed up, and exhausted, but neither of them was injured beyond minor scratches or bruises.
"Miyuki-nii, Hachi-nii?!" Kei approached them, "Are you alright?"
"Just let them go at it, Kei-chan." Komachi grabbed her, "Boys are just that stupid."
"Komachi-nee!" Kei scolded her, but in the end, followed her anyway.
"Onii-chan once said." Komachi laughed lightly, "You can't really have a fight with someone if you're not that close with them in the first place."
As a matter of fact, Shirogane Miyuki was undoubtedly the first true friend Hachiman had ever had. Thus, the first friend Hachiman would have a fistfight with... it would be none other than Shirogane Miyuki.
"Komachi-nee... what if I..."
やはり, 彼らが望む告白は間違っている.
As expected, the Confession they want is wrong
Original Story by: Watari Wataru and Akasaka Aka
Written by: ZeroXSEED, Co-Writer/Editor: GoukaRyuu
Chapter 16: Hikigaya & Shirogane Part. 2
"Hey, Hachiman." Miyuki asked as he looked up to the clear sky above, "You hate your father a lot, don't you?"
"Nah. Not that much."
"I mean... you always hate him for thinking more about other young girls than his own daughter for work reasons." Miyuki raised his body to a sitting position on the dirt, beside Hachiman who was still laying there, "Why did you encourage my father to do the same? It can't really be envy or resentment."
"You know, I hate having to work in the first place, and I only do it purely because there's a chance and there's a need. I wouldn't go out of my way to get a job." Hachiman said.
A series of coincidences and mishaps in Shuchiin was what made Hachiman the person he is now. The past him would laugh so hard in response to a hard-working courier, Hikigaya Hachiman.
"But that kind of mindset is not for everyone, research proves that human brains, especially those of adults, are predisposed to search for productive activities and too much free time can be stressful and unhealthy too.1 "
And it must be very stressful for Mr. Shirogane.
"Had I not come here, I would not have noticed that," Hachiman told him.
"Perhaps you're right, and I've been willfully blind about how father's changed." Miyuki nodded, "I mean, it would be one thing if Father could settle into a laid back job, but he can't. He keeps jumping from one thing to another, and his income suffers for it."
Miyuki was the same, he never stayed in one part-time work either. Maybe it ran in the genes...
Or perhaps, he simply hadn't found a meaningful job that he felt suited him best. Maybe by helping his aging parents manage the farm, Mr. Shirogane had finally found it, the long lost passion of a hard laborer.
More than just his and Kei's happiness, Miyuki would have to think about his father's happiness too.
"Hey, Hachiman, do you think our family will be happier if Father stays here?"
Hachiman chuckled, "Everyone has their own definition of happiness, and what you think may be different from what your father and Kei think. There is a price tag to everything, even to a family and its livelihood." Hachiman chuckled, "And that's something you need to discuss as a family, not with an outsider like me."
"If you marry Kei, maybe we can be a family too." Miyuki joked.
"Pffffttt." Hachiman burst out in response, "No way, I don't want to call you my big brother."
Miyuki glared at him, "That's what you complain about?!"
Hachiman sneered, "You can marry Komachi and call me big brother instead!"
It was Miyuki's turn to burst out, "Pfffttthahahahaha!"
...
"By the way, I'll be moving out the next semester." Hachiman said, "I'm moving from an apartment into a rent-house."
"Really? Why?" Miyuki asked.
"My apartment's lease was only for a year and can't be renewed due to personal reasons on the landlord's side." Hachiman said, "Ryuju introduced me to someone in her family's estate business."
"Woah, don't tell me you sponged on her already?!" Komachi gawked.
"As if." Hachiman said, "I told her I didn't want a discount, but she did work hard to find me a good offer, I can rent a good house for 120.000 yen a month and minimal downpayment. Only..."
"Only?"
"It's actually way too big for me to handle." Hachiman said, "It's a four-bedroom house, it even has an independent parking area, so living alone there feels like a waste."
"120K for a four-bedroom house is a steal, for certain." Miyuki squirmed, "What's the catch?"
A rent-house as cheap as that, there would always be some dark backstory attached, like being the scene of a murder or even haunted. Maybe even related to some Yakuza crimes?
Hachiman waved his hand, "I mean if Ryuju's given me a haunted residence I'll be super pissed."
"I see." Miyuki nodded, "What's the new address then?"
"5 minutes from Hachimanyama station, close to Kami Takaido east park, Kamikitazawa. It's a 3 story creme house, with free parking space."
"...I'm sure Ryuju is taking the piss on you there," Miyuki muttered.
"Touche."
"Besides that, we'll both be living in Setagaya in that case. Not quite neighbors, but close enough." Miyuki sighed.
"That's right." Komachi laughed, "If Miyuki-nii and Kei-chan moved in with him, that would be nice."
"True, with a house that big I can't be arsed to deal with the chores alone." Hachiman scoffed.
Hachiman was too proud to say he'd be lonely, but it was clearly visible on his face. He wanted the Shirogane siblings to stay with him.
"Maybe we'll take that offer someday." Miyuki smiled, it was not really intense, emotional, or smug. A slight smile is truly charming2 , at least in Komachi's mind.
Hachiman and Miyuki decided to walk around the village while Kei and Komachi sat on the outside balcony, feeling the cold wind of March on their skin.
"I'm sorry, Komachi-nee." Kei said, "If I accepted that answer then you'd have more chance to meet with Miyuki-nii."
"Nah," Komachi said, "It doesn't really change the fact that I will be in Chiba most of the time. I think it's more of Kei-chan's loss though."
"But... I want to ask you something." Kei muttered, "Did you ever think of moving in with Hachi-nii in Tokyo. Even once?"
"Of course I have." Komachi closed her eyes, "But you know, if I moved in with Onii-chan, then my parents would have no reason to go back to Chiba. They'd just bother Onii-chan and he'd get less free time to himself."
"You know, Onii-chan is a natural introvert." Komachi laughed, "It doesn't mean that he doesn't appreciate good company. On the contrary, he's always been lonely and wanted friends. But it means that alone time is more important to him. And our parents being so physically close, yet so cold and detached emotionally, that would just stress him out."
"As long as father and mother didn't change as people, this is the best outcome."
Kei huffed, "...Then it's all the more reason for me and Miyuki-nii to stay away from him, isn't it?"
"But you're different, Kei-chan." Komachi shook her head, "You and Miyuki-nii accept him for what he is, rather than putting your own expectations on him. Surely, Onii-chan would appreciate that."
"Well, it's not like he'd be the only one benefiting from this situation. Because Onii-chan isn't there, Mother and Father pay even more attention to me in Chiba." Komachi smiled serenely, "I'm really a selfish girl, aren't I?"
Kei wasn't really sure what to say to that. On the one hand, purposely keeping her parents and brother distant from each other sounded morally repugnant, but... the fact that Hachiman could be truly free and happy by living alone away from them, even from a little sister he truly cared about...
In the end, the situation of the Hikigaya and the Shirogane families were truly like night and day.
The Shirogane family hung on each other in an unbreakable bond even though they always fought each other and maintained an aloof independent appearance, hiding their pain. And the family situation meant they all had to support each other, carrying the same burden through the hardships of life.
Hikigaya family members, on the other hand, looked like the most harmonious upper-middle class family in the world. Because they were distant to each other, they never had any time or energy left to have a fight. They all chose separate paths from each other because being too close would hurt them.
Would it be correct to say that the way of the Hikigaya siblings could be described as 'Kindness in cruelty'?
"I don't think you're selfish at all, Komachi-nee," Kei told her, "Regardless of what you did or how it benefits you, you try to keep everyones' happiness in mind."
In that sense, Komachi was far more mature than people gave her credit for. It also made Komachi resemble Hachiman far more than people wanted to acknowledge.
"Thank you."
"A... anyway, thanks to you I'm also on speaking terms with Miyuki-nii again. We've been a little distant ever since the incident with my mother, but thanks to the summer vacation we spent in Chiba last year, we can openly talk more."
Kei, at the prime age of thirteen, was understandably at the age where she was very sensitive and rebellious. Miyuki, getting increasingly concerned, became somewhat nagging. And because he was always nagging on her, Kei became increasingly irritated and quiet.
This endless cycle had spiraled beyond control and caused the rift between the loving brother and sister.
Looking at the physical and mental distance between Hachiman and Komachi made them treasure the close bond they shared a little better, though Kei would never admit it to Miyuki and vice versa.
"I feel the same way, Kei-chan." Komachi looked to the horizon with a bright smile, "Meeting Kei-chan and Miyuki-nii made me hopeful once again, and with that hope in mind, Komachi can put more effort into enjoying this life."
And so, they quietly held hands as they enjoyed the wind of the end of the spring season.
Meanwhile Hachiman and Miyuki...
They were sitting with Mr. Shirogane in a very low key coffeehouse in the marketplace.
"What, really?" Miyuki blinked, "You're going to divorce Mom?"
"To be honest, it's long overdue." The father said, "I'll be honest, even now, so long since then, I still love her. After Kei returned, that marriage registration is the last thing that connects the two of us."
"But it's thanks to you for reminding me of the importance of the role of a father." Mr. Shirogane smiled, "I still haven't decided to stay here or in Tokyo, but I'll made this decision firmly."
"Aren't your priorities skewed?" Miyuki sighed, "Deciding to divorce so quickly yet still struggle to decide about work."
"Rather than thinking about a distant loved one, it's important to keep holding the family I have now." Mr. Shirogane said, "I wonder, what's your opinion about that, Miyuki-kun. I figure you'd be happy or something."
"Happiness? I can't say that's how I feel." Miyuki smiled, "But I'm relieved, and I'm pretty sure Kei will feel the same."
"...I'm sorry I can't say anything here." Hachiman was confused because this sounded like something that the core members of a family should have.
"Don't worry." Miyuki said as he raised his cup of black coffee, "Let's celebrate my father taking this great leap in his love life."
Hachiman wondered if, someday in the future, he could have this warm conversation with his father too. Regardless, with how unlikely it was, Hachiman decided to lock that thought deep in the depths inside his heart. Probably best left forgotten.
"Cheers." Hachiman said as he raised his cup.
1. Effects of unemployment on mental and physical health. M W Linn, R Sandifer, and S Stein (1985)
2. A Chinese MMO web/light novel aimed at young girls. Also known as Love O2O